Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 56 – Anguish

“What did my mother say?”

Grozhang quickly hid his bewilderment and conveyed the conversation he had at the Krambitz villa.
Although he didn’t say anything the whole time he listened, Grozhang could tell that his master, much like him, was not completely free of his anxiety.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Meyer seemed to believe that the Young Master cut off contact with the outside world and was enjoying the vacation. Besides, His Majesty didn’t say anything at all recently. It is said that the breakup has been completed, but since public opinion has not yet calmed down, be careful with what you say and don’t take any risks. All the baits the Young Master threw seem to be working well.”

Hadius nodded and poured the alcohol into the glass. The reason why he is doing the work that normally the butler or an aide would do is that he has moved all the villa’s servants to another place.
Right now, only Hadius and Grozhang are in this place, along with the mercenaries who are keeping a strict vigilance.

There is only one real purpose for the young Meyer to declare an unplanned vacation and empty the place.

“Pip will arrive today. Now that everything is ready, just give the order and I will invite Miss Bern soon.”
“Invite…”

Hadius grinned and emptied his drink at once. He didn’t wiggle his eyebrows once while he swallowed the liquor.
His unmoving eyes stared at the empty glass, then headed for the vineyard.

“Right, Beppy Dilson came to see me this morning. Saying he had something to say about Miss Bern.”

The hand that was repeatedly filling the glass with alcohol stopped.

“He said Miss Bern is ill. She became ill immediately after returning home after meeting with the Young Master a few days ago.”

Silence continued. Growing awkward, Grozhang took out his notebook and pretended to check something.

Hadius was standing there with his back to him. The glass of wine hung precariously in his droopy hands, as if it was going to fall at any moment.
The signs of wanting to be alone were so strong that Grozhang waited for the right time and then slowly took a step back.

“Then, I… will go now.”

Hadius was staring blankly into the void, unaware that his assistant had disappeared.
It was the farmers in the distance, diligently picking grapes, that brought his blurry gaze back into focus. A bitter smile crept across his lips.

When he first got his hands on this villa, he had a pretty romantic idea.

Her, walking barefoot along the vineyard, with a sweet scent, picking ripe bunches of grapes. He wanted to see the woman smiling broadly without her shoes on, as she did on the beach in the forest.
After washing her feet covered with dirt in the cool valley water, she would return to the villa and admire the burning red sky.

He wanted to see her enjoying the sunset. Next to him.

Hadius took the glass to his mouth. The strong liquor seeped along his tingling tongue. The first drink was as hot as if his esophagus was on fire, but now it was as numb as if he were drinking fresh water.

Is this why he’s drinking?

His blurred eyes turn to the empty glass again.

‘I have a different opinion than the Young Master. We never had each other, so it’s easy to let go

That’s right, she always said goodbye. He is nothing to her, to the extent that the expression ‘goodbye’ is ridiculous.
He doesn’t exist anywhere in her life, not even for a moment.
It is him who can’t let go of his lingering feelings. He is also the one trying to forcefully connect something that has been broken for a long time.

‘I really do not know… Why the Young Master is being like this…’

She will never understand. No, even if she understands, she will never accept it.

There is a past between them that is difficult to overcome, and she has already decided on the answer.

He is a selfish and mean Meyer.
That fact will never change. So, he has no choice but to trap her and be mean.

Hasn’t he been meticulously prepared for a long time?
Then why can’t he carry it out?

He was going to deceive her meanly if necessary, and if that didn’t work, he was going to mercilessly trample on her. He wasn’t thinking of doing it by any means…

Hadius poured alcohol and emptied it out again at once.
His wriggling neck and stiff shoulders were all wrapped in anguish.

*** 

Rosie had been gone for a long time, but Kallia was still sitting on the chair at the dining table, motionless.

She, who was staring blankly at the cold teacup, came to her senses in an instant.

She can’t just sit like this. She has to starch all the fabric by tomorrow.
As Rosie said, she borrowed money from Ramsco, so she has to pay it back somehow. Even if her body gets broken and shattered.

Just as Kallia straightened her crooked waist, a disheveled Emilia appeared, rubbing her eyes.

“Did you… sleep well?”
“Yes, my back hurts.”

Emilia stretched and yawned. Contrary to her sunken face, her voice was quite bright and cheerful.
Emilia saw the basket on the table and widened her eyes.

“Huh? Cookies?”
“Earlier… Aunt Rosie came.”

Answering like that, Kallia carefully looked at Emilia’s face. Whether or not she knew how nervous she was feeling, Emilia muttered cheerfully, “Oh, is that so? What did she want?”, and picked up another cookie.

“You know I’m going back to church meetings from next week. To commemorate it, she baked a lot of cookies like that.”
“Mm, they’re really delicious. Auntie’s cookies are truly a masterpiece.”

Emilia ate two more cookies on the spot, feeling admiration.
Kallia, who was worried that the child might have heard all her conversation with Rosie, was able to put her mind at ease.

“Give it to me, I’ll help you.”

Emilia crouched next to Kallia.
The sleeves of her shirt were rolled up, revealing her white hands and arms. Soft, beautiful hands that commoners like Kallia can’t even dream of.

“Leave it. Your hands will get rough.”
“It’s alright. And wheatgrass is good for your skin.”
“You must be tired, rest a bit more.”
“I think if I continue laying down, I will get bedsores on my back.”

Emilia smiled and picked up the cloth. With a squeaking noise, the stiff fabric sank into the basin. Not being able to stop her anymore, Kallia put her hands into the basin in front of her.
The squeaking sound of squeezing the fabric resonated in the quiet kitchen.

“When will everyone come?”
“They went to the mill to pick raspberries, so they might be late. I asked Beppy to let Charlotte get some fresh air, since it’s a long-awaited outing.”
“And Mitch?”
“He hasn’t returned from the shed yet.”

Emilia looked up anxiously at the dark sky, out the window.

“He should be back before it gets too late.”
“Exactly. It’s a big deal these days because he’s so into that ambush or undercover game. What is so suspicious about a normal farm?”
“But, just in case, I also want to go to the place called Hilden Farm with Mitch.”
“Yes, that would be for the best. After he goes and sees it with his own eyes, I’m sure he’ll think less of such nonsense. Even though he is my son, I don’t know why he doesn’t study and does such absurd things.”

Emilia giggled as she dipped her hand in the wheatgrass.

“Don’t think too badly of it. Mitch is curious and smart. He is just full of passion and works hard no matter what it is. You know that saying, ‘You don’t grow old because of age. You grow old the moment you lose your passion’.”
“Where did you hear such a good saying?”
“I read it in a book.”
“… It is a very happy thing to be able to read books.”

As Kallia was muttering without much thought, Emilia suddenly snapped her fingers.

“Do you want to learn it from me?”

Kallia blinked her eyes and then shook her head.

Each person has their own path.
Kallia hated herself for going to a loan shark, she didn’t hate herself for being unable to read.

“If you change your mind, please let me know. I’m teaching Braille to Charlotte these days, so I think it’d be good if Mother would join us in your spare time.”
“Come to think of it, Charlotte has been studying really hard these days.”
“I think it’s thanks to the new Braille book.”
“How can she work so hard with just one word from Young Master Meyer…”

Kallia paused as she said the name ‘Meyer’. Her searching gaze once again roamed around her daughter’s face.

Emilia was rubbing the cloth hard, pretending not to know anything.

“By the way, I think I will have to go out for a bit tomorrow.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to buy Laura’s wedding present. I think it would be a good idea to prepare a present for Mr. Beppy too. We’re going to be parting soon, so we have to bid farewell.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

As soon as she answered, a thought ran through Kallia’s head. She got up and washed her hands.

When she came back to Emilia’s side, there was a small wallet in her wrinkled hand. A few coins collided and made a clinking sound. Emilia shook her head vigorously.

“No, it’s fine. I will take care of it.”
“What money do you have?”
“Have you forgotten? I have the money I got from Mr. Haspel.”
“But you bought a dress with it…”

Emilia chuckled.

“Don’t worry. I still have money left.”

Although it was cunning, the hand holding the pouch couldn’t move any further.
It was something that Kallia had saved specifically for Mitch.

Mitch Bern is probably the only child at school wearing a school uniform that has become too small and not paying the dormitory fees on time. Kallia was always heartbroken because she knew her son’s character, liking to go out in front of people and take on the role of a captain.

“Save this and use it on Mitch. He needs a new uniform. I don’t know why the kid grows up so fast. Maybe we’ll hear the sound of his bones.”

Emilia giggled as if it were a joke.
But Kallia did not laugh at all. She couldn’t laugh.

Dear God.
Emilia is like a gift from heaven.

She vividly remembers the nine-year-old girl, gathering up a mountain of laundry while standing on her tiptoes and folding it neatly without a single trail of dust.

That wasn’t all.

Emilia took care of the blind Charlotte and educated Mitch as well. She read him books on behalf of his mother, who didn’t know how to read, and taught him how to study.
It is entirely thanks to Emilia that Mitch is an excellent student even though he entered school much later than others.

Such a child… She couldn’t believe she was swayed for a moment at the words to make her a mistress…

Kallia prayed to the heavens with her whole heart.