Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 63 – Two Days Left

As Hadius left Etna Palace, it started to rain again. The coachman quickly approached with an umbrella, but he stretched out his arm and stopped it. Raindrops pounded and hit his face. After a while, he lowered his head again and slowly stood under the umbrella. Negotiations were always the same. Even on the brink of victory, he could slip away for a moment and die without seeing the protruding stone in front of him. That was exactly what happened with Queen Yvonne just now. The third deal was put on hold. He never thought the queen would be so anxious about bringing her in.

‘What should I do with you, Emilia?’ He thought by now he would be giving her and her family the safest and most prosperous place in the world.

“Please go in.”

The umbrella was folded, and Hadius leaned into the carriage. In a matter of seconds, the pouring rain soaked his shoulders.

He was impatient, frustrated, and annoyed. The transaction had not been completely canceled but had been postponed for a while. The queen asked for a little more time until she was convinced.

Nevertheless, he was burning up now. The more delayed the plan, the more he will be so. Time didn’t belong to him. It wasn’t even clear whether the woman called Mother would continue to bite the poor bait.

The rain that had been falling suddenly became heavier. It wasn’t even the rainy season, but it rained terribly. Hadius was annoyed and loosened his tie.

Suddenly Emilia came to mind. By paying off the debts of Kallia Bern, they would meet often instead. He didn’t know exactly what the interval ‘often’ was, but for Hadius, it felt like too much time had passed since that day.

That day, Emilia warned him not to corner her. She was clenching her jaw, staring at him almost as if she was about to kill him. That was when he stopped planning again.

Without being able to put anything into action, without being able to do this or that, he felt conflicted. On one hand, he treated her like a prostitute, and on the other, he gave her a pistol. Hadius felt that he was a terrible hypocrite.

Golden hair fluttering under her ears and blue eyes like the sea came to mind. Perfect lips that became glistened every time she got angry…

…Did you get used to the pistol by now?

All of a sudden, all those things made him too curious. Thus, just a few hours later, under a rain-pouring porch, Hadius faced Emilia as he wanted.

* 

“Why are you here?”

Emilia asked without sincerity and stood roughly next to him. She didn’t even make eye contact or look directly into his face. Hadius glanced at her appearance like that, and said, “Just because.” Two indifferent pairs of eyes headed back into the void without a moment of hesitation.

The two stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the rain. No one spoke. The only thing that fell between them was the dim light of an external lamp and the deafening sound of rain.

Time flew by in the rain. Emilia held her body tightly on that porch and felt extreme fatigue rising from her feet.

‘Did I overwork myself for days trying to find a job?’ She was so tired that she could faint just by leaning on the wall behind her.

Unlike herself, the man next to her seemed so carefree and full of energy. ‘How can that be?’

I had to do something for the money. But how was she treated. The desire to scratch fiercely and draw blood penetrated under her fingernails. Hatred. Truly, really, too much hatred. She felt like exploding.

At the end of the war-like day, unresolved emotions were about to overflow. Emilia grabbed the gun she had hidden under her shawl. When she discovered Hadius was in front of the house, the first thing she did was ask Sir Beppy for the pistol. The bullet box was empty, but if he provoked her again, she would aim the gun at him.

She wanted to tear him down. She wanted to break him and throw him away.

But he was breathtakingly calm. It was the face that always made Emilia uncomfortable.

‘What would happen if I pull out the gun and aim it at this man’s heart? Will he be surprised? No, he wouldn’t bat an eye. He would laugh at her again, saying, “What are you doing without bullets…?”

“Are you okay?”

Emilia stiffened at the sudden question and turned her head. For the first time after meeting, their eyes locked.

“…Yes.”

Emilia immediately turned her head. It was such a short moment that the phrase ‘eye contact’ could not be formed properly. Still, their figures were perfectly captured by each other. Hadius’ cold glance and Emilia’s perfect navy suit reflecting back.
If there was one good thing, it was that Hadius in an officer’s uniform didn’t stir the fluttering feeling like before. As if wanting to let him know such a fact, Emilia purposely opened her mouth bluntly.

“I guess you had a dinner party. Or did you go to the Academy?”

“I came here after meeting Her Majesty the Queen.”

For a moment, her body tensed. Dressed in a full suit and meeting the queen. Then, seeing that he came like this perhaps…

“Don’t say, the break-up–”

“Not yet.”

At the same time as the answer cut her question, a pure white breath broke through the air. Emilia stared at the mist disappearing into the rainwater. She suddenly felt helpless and tired.

“Actually, whether we break our engagement or not, it doesn’t matter anymore to the Young Master.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter.”

Her heart ached again. The eyes that had been blinking in the air again turned to her wet toes. The sound of rain began to cover everything. The pistol in her hand felt infinitely ephemeral and childish. It was of no use fighting. That man wouldn’t stop.

Hadius Meyer was no different from Dram. Turning her into some useless doll. Something really twisted was pounding Emilia’s chest. Instead of pointing the gun at him, Emilia took a different approach.

“Please, I’m asking you.”

At the same time as she whispered helplessly, she knelt hard. The shiny leather shoes hesitated for a moment.

“I beg you like this.”

It was a voice that contained the bitter frustration of the past few days. It was the first time she had knelt in front of a person, but the desperation that surpassed misery was choking her.

“Please stop.”

She thought Hadius would be surprised. Or get angry. But even after doing this, his body didn’t even turn completely toward Emilia.

“The Young Master laughed at me, but I thought there was some kind of loyalty between the two of us.”

Abruptly, she choked in tears, and her stomach hurt. Emilia caught her breath and continued to speak with difficulty.

“…I’d be lying if I said I didn’t really have a strong interest in Young Master. The good memory of ‘Elver’ is the same for me too.”

The more she spoke, the more Emilia fell into a void that seemed to pierce her heart.

“But that’s it. I have no desire to continue our relationship just because I have forgiven the Young Master for the past five years and felt good for a moment. Again, don’t take away the remaining loyalty I have toward you. Please.”

“…I understand, get up.”

Instead of rising, Emilia pressed her head down to the floor.

“There is a depth in the feeling of ‘liking you.’ Just because I felt good about Elver for a while, it can’t be a real deep feeling. It’s as shallow and light as this rainwater that disappears in an instant. Those kinds of feelings are impulsive and fickle, and they go away quickly, leaving nothing but regrets.”

“Stop it.”

She couldn’t even hear the dark, subdued voice. Emilia continued to speak with a feeling of choking in front of a whirlpool.

“I really want to be free. This has nothing to do with emotions. It’s like I’ve been caught in a snare for the past five years. I really hate it. Really, sincerely.”

As if vomiting blood, Emilia spat out word by word, forcefully.

“I think I’m going to go crazy because of the Young Master. I think I’m going to die from the pain, I really hate it.”

The hand that had been hidden under the shawl suddenly lost its strength. Emilia put her pistol down in front of him.

“Please take it. This is just as creepy as the Young Master now. If you don’t accept it, I have no choice but to throw it away, but you know I’m not that harsh. So I have no choice but to do this.”

Raindrops fell and tapped the cold metal.

“Let me remember you as a good person. Please, I beg you.”

How much time passed? The man’s long fingers picked up the rain-soaked pistol. The eerie energy of dawn hovered between them.

“What the hell are we doing? I really don’t know where I went wrong… I… I never really imagined that my relationship with the Young Master would turn out like this. By now, I thought that the breaking of the engagement would help us live well on our own. Young Master… was promised to marry someone else before this forceful engagement. I think of her.”

Emilia gathered courage and looked at Hadius. She had gotten down on her knees and begged, so she thought he would be at least a little shaken. Wasn’t he the guy who pushed Charlotte’s swing? But Hadius Meyer was still as cold and terrifyingly calm as ever.

“Are you done saying whatever you wanted?”

The voice that rang flat sounded dreadfully chilling.

“I said I’d give you a week. And there are still two days left.”

Hadius turned around. He vanished into the dim light from a wagon in the dark forest.