Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 64 – Crash

The rough rain hit hard. However, Hadius walked slowly without feeling anything.

“What the hell are we doing?” A cold voice echoed fiercely. It was a valid question with a suitable answer.

Above all, wasn’t that a question that Hadius asked himself many times?

‘What am I doing right now?’ The problem was that the answer to that question was simultaneously clear and vague. It was the realm of emotion, not reason and logic, and Meyer didn’t name emotions. Had he ever benefited from tracking and digging up emotions in his life?

“Huh? Young Master!”

Carrying a lamp and an umbrella, the coachman rushed toward Hadius. When the flickering light shone on the pistol hanging precariously from his Master’s hand, the driver was startled. Hadius also glanced down at the damp pistol.

“Yeah, maybe it’s because of this damn pistol.’

Since he couldn’t overcome the impulse and handed Emilia the pistol, all the weak emotions of his childhood have revived and grabbed his chest frighteningly. Ever since he found out about the existence of the secret meetings, Hadius had always been terrified. He feared his fiancée would be murdered. From scenes where William Richards personally visited and brutally murdered her, to assassins setting fire to the house or poisoning the food, all kinds of extreme scenes flashed before his eyes. At the end of his extreme imagination, Hadius always took the pistol from a drawer. He wanted to find the girl, reveal the truth, hand her the pistol, and tell her to run away. It was an immature idea, but it was better than doing nothing. He could secretly ride a horse at dawn. But what about the ones sleeping right next to him? And the guards? There was also a way to secretly deliver a letter. Or, deliver it through someone reliable. It wasn’t easy. At that time, his world was blocked by high walls on all sides. Watchers were everywhere. Every hour he breathed, at every moment. There was one chance. There was a dinner party. Hadius made a detailed plan to create a situation where they could be alone. The movement of the servants, the movement at the dinner party, and even the layout. And on the day of the dinner party, after wandering around the garden avoiding people, he finally ran into his fiancée and the two of them were alone.

The girl was watching a squirrel in a tree. Hadius strode closer. The time allotted was less than a minute. Within that short time, he had to give her the gun and money, and even tell her to run away. He felt assured. It was a moment he had been preparing for several months. However, without taking a few steps, Hadius stood still there. The child was eagerly waiting for the squirrel to look at her with cookie crumbs in her hand, and the sight made his head go blank for a moment.

‘Even if you give her a few pennies and a pistol to run away, will that be possible?’ Emilia Bern was not by herself in the world. As far as he knew, she had a stepmother, a younger brother, and, above all, a blind younger sister. Furthermore, the moment she learns the truth, she will suffer from the fear of death every day. Hadius knew better than anyone the hell of living like that.

A life chased from great power, a life of running away, would she really withstand it? The truth didn’t resolve everything. Maybe it was safer and better to live without knowing. Because other forces, including the mother, were already losing interest in that child. Hadius pulled himself together and gave up his plan. He thought it was a wise decision. However, just before turning around, when he made eye contact with the child as she gave up on the squirrel, he realized.

‘Damn it, don’t make excuses.’ It wasn’t that he couldn’t tell the truth, but he didn’t say it on purpose. He didn’t like it, the fact that he would never see her again. He wanted her to run away, but he was afraid of her running away. He hoped she would disappear to a place she would never be found, but he was afraid that she would disappear forever. No woman will ever accept it. In this mean, turbid world surrounded by those who want to kill her. Also, she would never forgive him. A mean man who hid everything even though he knew everything. Thus, he didn’t say anything. For extremely selfish reasons. It was still the same several years later.

“I think I’m going to die because of pain, I really hate it.” The woman who was kneeling and begging made his chest churn.

‘You’re just thinking of abandoning me somehow. Rejecting whatever I give and denying whatever I say. What a truly damned woman, isn’t she? How have I been living? I have been doing something to protect you… I don’t want to make any more pointless efforts. What is the meaning of waiting patiently like an idiot? Our relationship was wrong from the start anyway. It has been a long time since the means and methods were not a problem. Whether you hate me or not, whether you’re in a relationship with another man or not, whether I’m a good man or a bad one…

‘I’m willing to throw away such a bloody conscience.

‘I will just have to now.’

* * * 

“Sister, are you really alright?”

The small figure wrapped in a blanket nodded.

“Really? You’re not sick, are you?”

A double nod followed Kallia’s question.

‘At least you’re not sick.’ Kallia and Mitch thought at the same time.

“Then lie down and rest. I’ll leave the bread here, so eat it when you’re hungry.”

The door closed, and Emilia was alone. She was lost in the dark. A maze without an exit began again. Everything was confusing. What are you looking for? Can you get out of it…

“Are you upset because you can’t get a job?”

As soon as he left his sister’s room, Mitch murmured anxiously.

“It’s not that my sister can’t find a job because she’s incompetent. After all, it’s all because of the King and Meyer.”

The boy’s face twisted violently and his fists clenched.

“Because of those bastards, those motherf*cke–”

“Oh, gosh, dear, please!”

Kallia sighed in exhaustion. But it was not enough to keep his mouth shut.

“You have to throw it all away. Make a revolution and send them to the guillotine. It’s not time for me to be like this here. I have to turn everything upside down with my comrades…”

“Oh my God, Mitch Bern!”

Kallia almost screamed, and then the child flinched.

“Why are you doing this to me? Please, please. Your mom’s head is going to explode these days. Even if your sister is like that, at least you…” Before Kallia could finish speaking, a cough burst out. A hoarse sound, scratching her chest, echoed anxiously in the quiet living room. Mitch panicked and quickly brought water to his mother. But Kallia could not even drink water.

After a long period of coughing as if her intestines were about to burst, Kallia sat down exhausted. Mitch looked at her with great concern.

“Are you okay? Mom should see the doctor. I’ll bring him before school starts.”

“Don’t do that, Mitch. How expensive is it to call a doctor? Even without that, I was going to go to the hospital soon. I just didn’t have time because I was so busy with factory work.”

Kallia answered sincerely. When she looked back on her life, misfortunes continued one after another. Now that she had just paid off the debt, it was time to get stronger and start earning money again.

“Mom will take care of it. I will never develop a disease.”

“Ngh. I get it.”

Mother and son forgot the previous quarrel and shared a refreshing reconciliation.

“I’m going to go to work tomorrow, and I’m going to ask Mr. Boden one more time. If there is anything your sister can do at the factory.”

‘Boden’ was the owner of the spinning factory where Kallia worked.

“Didn’t he say no when you asked a few days ago?”

“At that time, the situation was very bad for Mr. Boden. Now that the urgent money has been settled, I wonder if he changed his mind. Even if he doesn’t really trust the book management, I’m going to ask if he can just pretend to show her the books. I think your sister’s frustration is too great.”

“By the way… What if Mom gets fired too?”

“Mr. Boden is not that kind of person.”

“Is he?” Mitch rejoiced but shook his head immediately. “No, I am not looking forward to it anymore. I think I’ll just be disappointed. I think I’ll go around with my sister starting tomorrow. To find a job.”

“School starts soon.”

The thought of dropping out of school clutched Mitch’s throat. No one in his family knew, but Mitch was thinking of dropping out at the end of the next semester. The child forced a cheerful voice as he swallowed the bitter determination under his tongue.

“If I go back to school, maybe this problem will be solved easily.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll ask my comrades for something my sister can do.”

The expression ‘comrade’, not friend, sounded a little strange, but Kallia, who was distracted, said, “Yeah?” and let it go.

“Some of my comrades live pretty well. Some families are in the trading business and some run quite large stores. It’s taboo to ask for personal affairs among comrades but… What in the world can’t be done?”

Mitch nodded to himself and continued.

“Even if it’s not a big job, she can do chores. Even if it is to wash dishes, Sister really can do it. That would be enough to help. And if she works in my comrades’ house, I’m sure they’ll hide it well so that my sister’s identity doesn’t get revealed… Ah!”

While talking, the child suddenly snapped his finger.

“Why did I only have such a good idea now? No need to wait for school to start. I’ll go find my comrades right away. Tomorrow.”

Even Kallia couldn’t stop the anticipation from rising at his excited voice. A wrinkled hand gently stroked the boy’s back. Mitch looked at his mother and smiled.

Unlike the warm duo of mother and son, Charlotte, who had been squatting down the stairs since earlier, was anxious and couldn’t stand it. It was the very word ‘comrade’ that made Kallia feel strange. She had been so upset and disturbed over the past few days that she had not slept well. It was because of the identity of the ‘Hilden Farm’ that Mitch revealed. At first, Charlotte had no idea either. No matter how much Mitch explained, she couldn’t understand what ‘revolution’ or ‘rebel force’ meant.

“The rebels must have fled from Trunia. There must be some revolutionaries working in hiding. I heard from my comrades that when the civil war broke out last year, they crossed our borders a lot. They have created shelters in hills or forests and are continuing secret organizational activities. Hilden Farm must be one of those places.” Unintelligible words such as ‘hideout’, ‘secret organization’, and ‘assassination operation’ followed. Charlotte just nodded. All that mattered to the child was whether Hilden Farm was dangerous to them. Mitch said the farmers weren’t dangerous to them, so Charlotte didn’t want to care anymore. But Mitch’s last words were problematic.

“When school starts, I’m going to visit Hilden Farm with my comrades from the Extermination Group. We’ll have to make sure it’s really their hiding place and join forces if necessary.”

‘Eradication’ sounded far scarier than a pistol. She didn’t know exactly what was happening, but one thing was certain. All of Mitch’s school friends were average kids. It meant that children would deal with people with pistols called ‘revolutionaries.’ What happened every time Mitch Bern stepped up clumsily? Things went wrong, and there was a commotion. It’s not important to keep a secret. I need to stop it right now!

Charlotte got up quietly. She knew very well that her sister had been struggling a lot since she was seriously ill a few days ago. Thus, she couldn’t say anything for several days and was sick inside. However, they couldn’t continue to cover this issue. Wasn’t it something that could put Mitch at risk? If she kept her mouth shut to take care of her sister’s mood, something truly terrifying might happen.

“…Sister.”

Charlotte sneaked into the room and eventually shook her sister to wake her up.

* * * 

“You’re crazy, Mitch Bern… You… How could you…”

Inside the dark stable, Emilia muttered in despair. Mitch was leaning against the damp wall on the other side, with his head bowed. The child had already been slapped twice by Kallia. The shock of the family was great because it was Kallia, who had never made a loud noise, let alone corporal punishment. What would have happened if Emilia hadn’t soothed her trembling mother and dragged Mitch out to the stable.

“I can’t believe an assault… Oh my gosh… What’s the name…?”

Suddenly dizzy, Emilia put her hand on her forehead. It was just like when she first learned about her stepmother’s debt. Emilia thought she was at fault for everything. She thought she did her best to take care of her family, but the reality was the opposite.

Why was I so careless? I should have been aware that Mitch’s extreme remarks such as ‘bloodshed’ and ‘fighting for freedom’ went beyond simply hating those in power…

“Is it just a joke, right? Did you name it that way just for fun with the kids, right? You didn’t do anything… dangerous or strange, did you?”

“…”

“Answer me, Mitch Bern!”

The child flinched at the scream. At other times, her heart would have weakened at that, but Emilia couldn’t afford to do it anymore. She could barely hold back the desire to grab her brother’s skinny shoulders and shake him violently.

“If you truly care and love your family, answer me quickly.”

At every emphasized word, Mitch’s mouth, which had been tightly closed, began to open.

“We… haven’t done any special activities yet… But…”

The truth about Liberty Boarding School’s secret society, ‘The Annihilation Squad,’ had been revealed. As an organization composed of teenage boys, they didn’t do anything really scary. However, he promoted revolution, read banned books, made promotional materials, and distributed them secretly. Expulsion was natural and in some cases dangerous enough to be called ‘attempt of treason.’

“Oh my gosh… Mitch…”

Emilia buried her face in her lap. There was no energy left in her body. Fear had choked her throat to an extent incomparable to anything she had ever experienced.

“That is treason. You might end up getting hanged… We live in His Majesty’s Kingdom! It is completely different from the Republic of Fern Strait or the Allied Powers of the New World. No, even in such a place, the ‘annihilation squad’ is likely to end hanging… Do you know how many people have been decapitated in Trunia? Dead bodies, adults and children, lined up on skewers! Hilden Farm is an organization created by such people?! You’ve only seen one pistol, how can you imagine that?! I’m so afraid of your ideas… ”

Emilia, who had been muttering in despair, suddenly jumped up.

“Please say no, Mitch. You didn’t go too deep…. You were just being charmed by your friends, and repeated the name lightly… There’s no way you would do such a foolish thing. You love our family and you’re such a smart kid. There’s no way you would do that… It can’t be…”

Emilia was on the verge of tears.

Yet, Mitch’s answer completely destroyed her last hope.