Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 68 – Even If It’s Dirty

Chapter 68 – Even If It’s Dirty

When she arrived in front of the fountain, Beppy waved his hand as if he was waiting for her. Presented with his carefree face as if nothing in the world had happened, she felt suffocated once again. He smiled at her and handed her something he was holding in his hand.

“Here, Emilia.”

It was an unknown flower.

“There, it spread like a carpet over there.”

Wildflowers were in full bloom where Beppy was pointing.

‘How should I explain? Goodwill full of wrongdoings?’

Strangely enough, she felt her tears well up. Something she had held all this time was now boiling over.

“Oh?”

Beppy tilted his head. He gathered his thick eyebrows into his curved nose and looked into Emilia’s face.

“Emilia is crying?”

“Oh no, Mister, there’s something in my eye…”

Emilia quickly rubbed her eyes. Water dripped out. She rubbed her eyes again and waited for the tears to dry quickly.

“No? No crying?”

“No, look.”

Emilia removed her hand from her eyes and raised the corners of her mouth helplessly. Beppy tilted his head again, and Emilia said, “Thank you, Mister,” as she took the flower.

“From now on, you should not pick flowers in other people’s gardens.”

“Hadius said. Sitmer is Emilia’s he said.”

For a moment, her heart throbbed and her throat closed. Emilia swallowed.

“Mister, please promise me one thing. You mustn’t tell anyone that I met Young Master Meyer today. To stepmother, Charlotte, Mitch, or anyone else. I slept at Laura’s house and will work on a farm in the future. Understand?”

“Beppy is a good servant. I do whatever the master tells me to do.”

Seeing Beppy nodding hard, for the first time, Emilia was relieved that he could not discern reason. Beppy Dilson was the perfect servant and Troy’s horse. Since he couldn’t recognize his master’s intentions, one can trust and entrust anything to him.

Beppy opened the door so Emilia could get into the carriage but she shook her head and sat in the driver’s seat next to him.

“I want to sit here today. The weather is so nice that I don’t want to ride inside.”

Beppy smiled and took the reins.

“Right, Mister, how’s your leg?”

Beppy had sprained his ankle three days before while getting off the horse. He insisted that he hated going to the doctor.

“Much better. I can walk soggily.”

Emilia looked silently at Beppy’s head, which rose like a mountain.

“It’s limping, not soggily.”

“Right. Limping.”

Laughter erupted from nowhere. Still, her nose wrinkled, and something hot rushed up through her throat. Watching the passing landscape, Emilia tried to calm her pounding heart. The wagon hurriedly left the villa. As the flat brick road ended, a bumpy dirt road continued. Emilia was tucking her fluttering hair behind her ears when she suddenly realized that she was holding a bonnet in her hands. While putting on the hat and tying the string, she looked around. The wagon was passing through the middle of the city. The streets were crowded with street vendors and passersby. Firewood seller, water salesman carrying a wagon full of water, a boy blowing a trumpet to announce the official news, a dwarf performing tricks, a beggar with all his rotten front teeth, a tinker hanging a dented pot…

Everyone was alive. They were living with all their might, with the weight of their harsh life dangling from their bodies. Emilia felt her heart swell for some reason.

‘You’ll see, I’ll never give in. I’ll do my best on my own. Just like them.’

After traveling for a while, they finally came to a wide plain with endless wheat fields. Beppy picked up speed again. The wind brushed the golden fields and carried a cool sound.

The constant rhythm of the galloping penetrated into her heart pleasantly. Emilia closed her eyes and left her senses to the comfort of nature. Beppy, who was looking at her like that, suddenly opened his mouth.

Let’s play the ‘name-calling game.’ Animal name.”

It was a game he had been playing a lot lately. Emilia devised the ‘name-calling game’ for Beppy and Charlotte, who lacked vocabulary. It was a very simple game of saying words within a certain category. She wasn’t in the mood for games, but Beppy started on his own saying ‘chicken.’

The human mind was very strange indeed. Emilia, who was about to say no, was suddenly thinking of an animal’s name.

“…Duck.”

Horse, goat, lion, snake, rabbit, crocodile, elephant… All kinds of animals appeared, from livestock roaming the yard up close, to strange animals that live on distant unknown continents. The game ended when all the animal names Beppy knew were exhausted.

“Let’s do it with fruit. Grape.”

She was speechless at Beppy spitting out words without permission. Still, Emilia was busy filling her head with the many fruits of the world.

“Pear.”

“Peach.”

“Apple.”

“…”

Strangely, Beppy was unable to speak. He suddenly slapped his forehead with his hand and said, “Ah, apple!” and turned to Emilia.

“Laura made it. Apple Pie! Let’s share it!”

He took out a small knotted cloth and handed it to Emilia. Emilia untied it and looked down at a beautifully cooked pie. Every time the wagon rattled, a sweet and savory scent came up. She thought she had lost all her senses, but to her surprise, her mouth watered.

“No, I’ll go home and eat it. With my family.”

Meanwhile, the wagon passed the rye and entered the forest road. The trees and the arched entrance created by the trees welcomed Emilia. In front of the endless green cave, Emilia realized that the burning flames in her heart had finally subsided. It looked like someone had cast some magic on her. One by one, the tensed muscles loosened, and her whole body was tired. Emilia closed her eyes again. She wasn’t sleepy. She just wanted to forget everything.

“You’ll catch a cold.” Beppy wrapped a blanket around her.

The moment the soft cloth wrapped around her shoulders, something hot flowed down her cheeks. Emilia quickly wiped away the tears with her hands. As soon as she wiped them, more flowed down again. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop it– the sobbing that burst out.

It hurt. A lot.

Emilia finally burst into tears.

A whistle was heard from somewhere. It was Beppy. He repeated Emilia’s favorite ‘Bodhi Tree’ over and over again. Another burst of laughter broke out through the flowing tears.

Emilia cried and laughed.

Countless emotions shook her heart and scattered along with beautiful whistling sounds.

[tl/n: If I’m not wrong it refers to a song originally called Der Lindenbaum by Franz Schubert]

* * * 

‘It seemed you couldn’t sleep again.’ Pip thought as he looked at his master’s empty bed. Seeing that he wasn’t even on the terrace, he must have locked himself in the study all day. It had been like that since the day she left.

“If it wasn’t for Miss Bern…”

Grozhang said that. Without her, the Young Master would have married Miss Bianca and lived happily ever after.

As for Miss Bianca, Pip happened to learn a few things. From a young age, she was a tomboy who preferred long guns to dolls and rocks to jewels. She had a pretty face, but she was a little chubby, so she was criticized by naughty people. However, she had a cool and good personality, so once you started talking you couldn’t help but like her. Even just hearing those simple fragments, Miss Bianca seemed very attractive.

“No woman is born a seductress. That’s what stupid men make women be. Pip, keep that in mind. A man must be discerning. Especially in front of women.”

Mr. Grozhang whispered as he looked at the Young Master, who could not take his eyes off even though the carriage transporting the woman had long disappeared.

“What’s wrong with our young master?” Pip grumbled and shook the blanket roughly. As he cleared the table, he saw an empty vial lying upright. Pip’s lips stiffened. According to the doctor, it was ‘obsession and anxiety.’ He really didn’t know why the well-built, healthy-looking Young Master suffered from such a terrible disease, but he was sure he had taken more medicine since he spent the night with her.

“What on earth is the problem…” Pip murmured toward the clear sky.

After a while, when he turned his head, he narrowed his forehead again. Somewhere along the avenue of trees, something like a whitish piece of cloth was hung in an eerie way.

‘What is that?’ Pip, who narrowed his eyes and immediately thought, ‘…Isn’t it a lantern?’ He raised his eyebrows. It must have flown from the village a few days ago. Flying lanterns always put the area on alert. This was because nobody knew when the fire would come back to life and start a fire. Fortunately, the one Pip saw was completely off.

“I’ll have to clean it up quickly though.”

Pip turned around and suddenly halted.

‘Why is that flying lantern rolling shabbily just like the Young Master?’

It flew the highest and came the farthest, but in the end, it burned and fell helplessly.

Chapter 68.2 – Even If It’s Dirty

“You went to help Laura? On the farm…”

“Yes, at the vineyard.”

“It isn’t difficult or dangerous, right?”

“Not at all.”

“Okay then, that’s a good thing…”

Kallia answered helplessly. They were clearly facing each other, but their minds were all elsewhere. She had been in that state ever since she learned about the ‘Annihilation Squad.’ It was a good thing for Emilia, who was afraid that her stepmother would ask her more questions. She stayed out overnight without permission. Even when the family was confused due to Mitch’s issue. However, her stepmother didn’t seem to have the time or energy to worry about such behavior.

“I don’t know what to do with Mitch. What do you think about making him quit school right away?”

Emilia began to carefully say the words she had prepared.

“I’m going to ask Young Master Meyer.”

“Young Master?”

“Yes, I’ll ask him to help him avoid punishment if there is a problem later.”

Kallia’s eyes gleamed with hope.

“Can the Young Master help us?”

“Yes, he will help us… For sure.”

“Ah, Emilia…”

Kallia let out a sigh mixed with a whisper as she sank into her chair.

“I hope so…”

Emilia forcibly raised the corners of her mouth.

“Still, I think it would be better to drop out of school. I’ll go to Liberty soon and give them his resignation letter. I’ll look for another one on the way, too.”

“Thank you, Emilia… thank you so much…”

Kallia held her hands together as if in earnest prayer and turned her head to find her son.

“You, did you hear everything, right?”

Mitch was sweeping the floor with his head bowed like a sinner. There was compassion in Kallia’s eyes toward her son, but it was only for a moment. She determinedly slapped him on the cheek thus, she didn’t want to make it easy this time.

“From now on, you will unconditionally do whatever your sister tells you to do. Don’t you dare criticize or speak ill of Young Master Meyer again. I’m really not going to stand still then.”

There was a sign of dissatisfaction in the hand that halted for a moment, but Mitch immediately nodded as if he had given up. It was a bittersweet moment when Hadius Meyer’s mean deeds were all covered up and he became the ‘savior.’

“For the time being, going out is prohibited. You can’t go to the barn, the beach, or downtown, of course. I will never trust you anymore.”

The child’s head raised like a flash. ‘How could this be?’ A silent cry echoed.

“You haven’t come to your senses yet, have you?”

His skinny body flinched at the harsh voice, and he shrank like a turtle.

The angry Kallia and the dispirited Mitch looked very unfamiliar. For some reason, it was hard to watch, so Emilia ran outside as if to run away. The air was quite cold. Midsummer had reached its peak and now the threshold of autumn was approaching.

As she was alone in the quiet yard, dark memories came flooding in again. Emilia shook her head vigorously and pulled some firewood from the pile of wood under the porch. When the stove was lit and a kettle of water was placed on it, it seemed that the warmth of the house, which had felt too cool, came back. She stared intently at the crimson flame. As she watched the firewood burn to black, it felt like her chest was burning at the same time. Unknowingly, Emilia had a bitter smile on her face.

‘Yeah, I’d rather burn it all out.’

May it become ashes and smoke and disappear without leaving a trace…

* * * 

“Where is the Young Master?”

“He is in the study. Basilian is a vacation spot, but he seems to be doing more than before.”

Grozhang chuckled broadly and looked at the stack of papers that were hanging on his side. They were drawings and papers secretly collected from all over the continent.

“Now that you have become a trusted aide of the Young Master, keep that in mind. Our Master is a person who cannot afford to enjoy vacations in the first place.”

The purpose of the sudden vacation was not just for a woman. Actually, it had a bigger purpose. Young Master Meyer had no intention of giving up the railway. In order to avoid opposition from established powers, including Caitlyn Meyer, they were secretly collecting information on railway-related technologies and patents. After keeping the enemy off guard, he planned to secretly take control step by step. That was Young Master Meyer’s way. Wasn’t that how he had been protecting his fiancée?

“Right, a person came from Ricardi Palace earlier.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, I have conveyed this to the Young Master.”

“Well done.”

Grozhang patted Pip on the shoulder and headed straight for the study. Hadius was looking at a large map hanging on the wall. A long line passed from Siena, a trading port, through the capital, Nowak, to Kunt, the northernmost point. He must be thinking of a long railway connecting the north and south of the continent. Before Young Master Meyer’s piercing gaze, Grozhang felt a sense of relief overwhelming him. After hearing the number of tranquilizers had increased, he was worried that he might find Hadius lying face down somewhere just like his father. But he didn’t seem to have any intention of following in his father’s footsteps.

“Young Master, how have you been?”

Grozhang greeted him brightly and spread a large scroll on the desk.

“Is this the plan for the converter blueprint?”

“Yes, it was invented by an engineer named Vermeer. If it can be crafted, we expect it to be the most innovative and practical way to mass-produce steel.”

Hadius looked at the pot-shaped drawing for a long time, then slowly nodded.

“At least I don’t think he’s a scammer.”

“He seems to be ridiculed by colleagues and professors. This is probably because of the huge production cost. They seem to think that that is not worth the investment because there is not much demand for steel.”

“I think the same as my mother. Shallow businessmen whose only purpose is money. If you’re a true Meyer, you shouldn’t just pursue money. The key is a steel rail. If only the mass production of steel was possible, the railroad would be a great innovation that would change the world.”

‘As expected, my choice was right.’ Young Meyer, at least, wouldn’t ruin his family and business over a woman’s issue.

Grozhang felt relieved once again at his Master’s ambitious attitude.

“First, I need to meet that man named Vermeer. Bring him to me as soon as possible.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Grozhang put the rest of the papers on the desk. As he was organizing some of the things that were scattered around to make it easier to view, a music box caught his eye.

“Oh right, I heard from Pip. A secret letter arrived from His Majesty the King?”

“Yes.”

“Does it mean he wants to accept the third condition? Miss Berne’s problems will be put at ease now. That’s really fortunate.”

Contrary to his expectations, Hadius did not smile at all, he just pressed his eyes closed. Unlike when they were talking about work, he suddenly looked tired and anxious.

“It’s too early for relief. I’m not sure yet.”

It was a stiff answer, but Grozhang raised the corners of his mouth wider. As much as his Master did not disappoint him, he, too, was caught up in the urge to comfort him.

“Once the third condition is fulfilled, Emilia Bern and her family will be completely safe with the protection and patronage of the royal family. If that happens, the mercenaries will be able to complete their duties successfully, and the Young Master will be able to focus on his work with ease.”

“…”

“Soon, the social world will be turned upside down. Wouldn’t it be like a Royal protégée? Her Majesty the Queen does not have a daughter, and Miss Berne is very beautiful, so she will be treated almost like a princess.”

He continued in an excited voice, hoping to restore his master’s psychological stability.

“Miss Bern will certainly adapt well. She’s smart and has a strong personality. Come to think of it, it’s even supported by the parliament. Her Majesty will support her, all she’ll have to do is spread her wings and fly.”

He said it to make it sound good, but Grozhang didn’t realize that his opponent wasn’t very responsive. Looking back, his Master stared into the air. The sudden chill in his eyes made him tilt his head.

‘Strange. Did I make a mistake?’

Feeling awkward, Grozhang coughed a few times and took out his notebook.

“Is there anything else you’d like me to do?”

Hadius didn’t answer. No, rather, he couldn’t. Contrary to Grozhang’s intentions, far from looking calmer, he seemed more anxious.

‘Yes, I will bring you into my world. I will raise you to the highest point of the gold tower, and I will put all who ridiculed you under your feet. Many petty little things will glorify you. Blended with rather normal things like Nathan Malvin…’

Silver-gray eyes stared into the air and burned coldly.

It’s ironic, isn’t it? I’ve done so many ridiculous things to give you wings, but when that moment is near, why am I so anxious and uncomfortable?

It was better back then. You were bullied by people and held out empty hands with nowhere to go.

I wonder if it was her looking at me while waiting, or was it actually that I was the only one who had been looking at her? That time I was confused…

“Grozhang.”

Contrary to the ambition Grozhang had admired, Hadius pushed ‘Meyer Steel’ out of his head too easily.

“Go and fetch Miss Bern right now.”

“Yeah? Ah… Yes.”

Yes, I will be the man who takes you from your dazzling light into darkness, undresses you, and licks you underneath.

I will trample you if necessary. I will tear, ram, and dirty you.

Don’t even think about escape. You can’t even imagine daring to fly away…