Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 84 – Dizziness

The heart wouldn’t calm down. It seemed as if someone was endlessly beating drums inside her heart. She completely lost her appetite and barely slept. It was no use even if she overworked her body in the restaurant. Every day, every moment, Hadius dominated her thoughts.

[‘We discussed your course of actions after.’

‘I was planning to… make you receive your title at the right time.’

‘I expected that if you were educated by the royal family and met people with Her Majesty the Queen, society would naturally accept you.’]

It was not a tragedy led by impulse and desire.

[‘The Duchess of Meyer, my wife.’]

He had long ago already decided, planned, and put into action the title that was difficult to put into words, or the title he didn’t want to say. She felt dizzy.

Emilia closed her eyes to avoid falling from the ceiling. As she began to calm down, he whispered again.

[‘Why are you so cruel?’

‘I looked almost naked here. But you never looked at me – not even once.’]

It felt like someone was strangling her. Emilia lowered her hand covering her mouth, and took a deep breath lacking in oxygen. Her thinking became a little clearer with the cold air filling her lungs.

Sponsored by the royal family… to be given a title… becoming a noble…. These were the things she had never thought of but were reaching toward her now.

Just as fish swimming in the sea don’t stand in awe of the birds flying in the sky, Emilia completely shut the world from her mind. There was nothing she could do to combat their accusations of being a greedy wench. She had no choice but to listen to their ridicule that she was a Lady Camellia. She had to endlessly reject and stifle her fluttering heart, the sound of her heartbeat, and the hopes she had. She fought with all her might. She fought with all her might, shutting down all her senses and emotions.

She did that… but now… she was on the verge of crying. Like the sudden surge of pain after a beating, the tingling sensation as if burning skewers were penetrating her body. She didn’t want to. But his voice wouldn’t leave her head.

[‘I would have been angry too…. if someone tried to decide my life on their own without asking for my will.’

‘I should have asked you first.’]

So why? Why?! Emilia cried out in her heart. How could he plan and put that plan into action without telling me anything? Things she wanted him to tell her, be frank and ask her… just why? Was it due to his pride? But his eyes looked too heavy for it to be his pride. It seemed like it was unacceptable for him to speak his mind. He even looked like someone who had lost everything. Why do you have to hide so much? Countless questions followed one after another.

But the answer came out surprisingly easy.

[‘You had to deal with her alone. I left her unattended.’]

That woman was his mother, Caitlyn Meyer. Cold and nauseating things made her stomach churn as she recalled the many things symbolizing Duchess Meyer.

[‘Keep showing it to that woman – how much you hate me, and how much you wanted to break our engagement. Madam Meyer is more tenacious than you think.’

‘The written agreement breaking our engagement – that is the only way you can be free.’

‘I will become Duke Meyer – it has to be. You have a family to return to, but Duke Meyer has no one. There was nothing I could really call mine. So why not just leave at least one?’]

She felt sick to her stomach for a moment. Unable to contain the urge to vomit, Emilia staggered and lit the candlestick.

“… Sister?”

Charlotte’s voice came from the darkness.

“Are you alright?”

“Mm, I’m just a little thirsty.”

Emilia swallowed to moisten her throat and then walked over to Charlotte. The child glued herself next to her as if she was waiting for it. Her unique body scent and soft touch seemed to sooth her churning stomach.

Emilia hugged her younger sister, and her small back was plastered against her chest.

“… Something’s wrong, right?”

“… No, there’s nothing.”

“You’re lying. I know something is going on.”

Charlotte gently grabbed her older sister’s hand as it stroked her shoulders. Her little fingers began to warm her body and melt many frozen things inside.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope that Sister remembers one thing. Sister, you’ve done everything exceptionally well. You made a one-eye monster like me into a human. That alone made Sister a great person.”

“Charlotte, please… don’t say… words like that… please….”

“But I am proud of telling you ‘words like that.’ It was all thanks to you, Sister. You remind me that I am a real person every day.”

Her eyes welled up with tears. Even if she took deep breaths and held back her tears, she couldn’t hold back the tears that escaped through her teeth.

A hot lump was embedded deep in her heart. It made her stomach tighten, rising to her throat and filling her eyes.

It dripped silently from the corners of her eyes to her nose, chin, and pillow, but Charlotte noticed it right away. My sister is crying. It was so sad that she couldn’t make any sound. Maybe because she recently met Young Master Meyer. She was often like that on the days she had been seeing Young Master Meyer for the past five years. Will he know? Maybe he doesn’t. No one will know. Even my sister doesn’t seem to be aware that she cried a lot.

Charlotte waited until her occasional whimper died down. She then asked.

“Sister, do you know how I came to accept the one-eyed monster?”

She didn’t get a reply, but Charlotte knew her sister was waiting for her next word.

“Because I forgive – I forgive myself. Then peace came to me at once.”

* * * 

“Reinen will certainly demand a stake in the Mondio mines. I think we should use it as a bargaining chip.”

“Nonsense. We must never give up Mondio. The iron ore there is the best in the continent. It was just like a gold mine, how can you say we yield it to them?!”

“But instead of yielding Mondio, wouldn’t it be possible to own a 30% stake in Meyer & Reinen Steel?”

There was a heated debate going on today inside the Meyer Steel meeting room. The negotiating team had been going on with the same topic for nearly a month, but they reached no consensus. In particular, they were always impatient and frustrated because Meyer formed a negotiating team one step late.

“Duke Meyer has arrived.”

People weren’t particularly nervous when Hadius reappeared after a month. Some laughed at the fact that the new president enjoyed his vacation at such an urgent time, while others were greatly disappointed. Some wondered: wasn’t he an ambitious successor who jumped into the battlefield and won the mine without shedding a drop of blood? It was strange that such a person showed no interest in the negotiations.

Whatever the reason, the idea that the new Meyer successor would be no more and no less than Caitlyn’s puppet was growing stronger and stronger. The meeting continued again.

“Is Grand Duke Reinen going to be that easy? He will definitely demand a stake in the mine, as well as development rights.”

“The development rights should never be given to him. That is not a merger, but just saying that we are under Reinen.”

“But what can we do? Let’s not forget that Meyer Steel’s performance has deteriorated terribly in recent years. In fact, I wish there would be a war somewhere.”

Meyer Steel experienced its rise and fall with war. In fact, it was nothing like a military company. As a result, as civil wars and unrest in each country subsided recently, a crisis came on the contrary.

“I agree. If we are to survive, civil wars like Trunia or mergers will have no choice but to enter new businesses. That is why Madam Meyer was also enthusiastic about the marriage alliance.”

There was the sound of the curtain being slowly pulled down. The young Meyer was looking out the window with very relaxed eyes. There was a little commotion when they saw his attitude of not caring about the meeting.

“Now, now, let’s be quiet. This is not something we can decide on our own now. Isn’t marriage one of the conditions in the deal?”

“Yes. In the end, the will and negotiating power of the people concerned in marriage are inevitably important.”

Their eyes turned to Hadius again. He was still busy looking outside. Someone who couldn’t stand it any longer voiced out his frustration for the others.

“Duke, I think your competence as the president is crucial in this issue. When are you going to meet Lady Reinen?”

The young Meyer uncrossed his arms and turned to them. His weak and soft eyes took in everyone of the people around.

“As a matter of fact, I am thinking of meeting that person within this week.”

Thank goodness. There was relief in the eyes of the people around.

An old nobleman, who was watching from behind, walked slowly toward Hadius with a cane. He was one of Caitlyn’s followers, Duke Artuscher.

“May I be presumptuous and give the Duke a piece of advice?”

“Go ahead.”

“Even if Mondio mine is Meyer’s, the technology involved in mining is all in Reinen Mining. It means that Reinen has to have the upper hand. In such a situation, it might be better to take a completely different approach than setting up a negotiating team and having meetings about countermeasures.”

“Any other way?”

“What I am saying is Bianca Reinen.”

The Duke’s eyes wrinkled in a somewhat fishy manner.

“No matter how much you say she is a Grand Princess, she’s still a girl in the end.”

The crowd was momentarily silent. Smirks appeared on the faces of some people.

“Girls are easily deceived by sweet words and a reasonable package. I believe you will do well in that field, as much as I heard that you were a ‘genius negotiator.’”

Pffft. Laughter filled the place here and there. The young representative also smiled slightly, balling his hands into a fist inside his pocket. No one knew the anger and contempt contained in that gentle arc. Ironically, this was also the moment Hadius achieved his desired purpose.

Last month, the reason he left the negotiators to mess up was to make a clear distinction between those who smiled or not, like Artuscher, whether they were enemies or friends. Hadius couldn’t tolerate those who lost the power of revolution and solely depended on confusion and connections. They may not even have dreamed of it – what was happening in Kund, the abandoned land owned by Meyer.

Right now, in that place, Vermeer and other investors and scientists were secretly developing a new furnace for steelmaking. Soon, Meyer Steel will succeed in mass production of steel for the first time in the continent. They don’t have to rely on mines and Reinen. The Meyer raised by his mother would crumble little by little from its foundation and eventually collapse completely. And then, he could get back on his feet.

Hadius clenched his empty fist. Yes, I should wait a little longer. Instead of being driven by impatience, I should have approached her slowly and patiently as I am now, rather than forcibly clinging to her just because I couldn’t overcome my petty jealousy. Wouldn’t that have changed a lot?

His nails pierced his palms painfully.

* * * 

“… Hey, you! Elaine!”

Emilia realized that the chef was calling her for a long time. When she turned her head, she was frowning and pouting.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Yes? Ah, no. I’m fine.”

Emilia eagerly raised the corners of her mouth, and the chef looked at her as if observing her. She was worried that she might have some kind of illness with her sunken eyes and dull face for a few days. In an instant, she made a decision that she also couldn’t believe in herself.

“… You can stop today to go home and rest.”

Leaving after thanking the chef, Emilia stopped walking and stood motionless for a while. It was unfamiliar to see the street in the sunlight of a sunny afternoon. It was inevitable since she arrived every morning and returned home at dawn. Like a new town densely populated by wealthy commoners, the streets were clean and full of cute shops. She approached Beppy, who was staring at her quietly in the lively street.

“Uncle, I’m leaving work early today.”

Beppy smiled.

“… The weather is nice. Shall we go for a walk?”

The two walked in silence. When the top of her head felt a little hot, Emilia stopped again.

“Uncle.”

Beppy, who was walking next to her, stopped a couple of steps ahead and turned around strangely.

“Please take me to the Basilion House. I need to see him.”