Love Doesn’t Matter - Chapter 90 – Start Again

Blood rushed to the top of her head. Emilia was breathing while trembling as she stared blankly at the man’s hand reaching toward her. He caressed her red cheeks and moist lips without any hesitation. His touch was both strange and powerful as if he was suggesting something, and as if he was claiming possession of her. Emilia didn’t avoid any of it. She didn’t need to.

Hadius Meyer was a swamp and a big trap from which she could never escape. Starting from his silver-grey eyes as deep as the abyss she was in, Emilia felt helpless as if she could never get away from him.

If it hadn’t been for the Duke Meyer, would the King even have invited a commoner to the palace to console her and even give her a gift? Everything must have been planned for and was intended by that man. And now, knowing it, I fell into despair.

Emilia was choked with the memories of her engagement ceremony the moment she stepped into the palace. The fourteen-year-old girl she thought was dead came back to life, swallowing down her feelings, and making her tremble all over again.

How could she not have changed so much? His black hair she wanted to touch with her hand, his suffocating eyes as if he didn’t care about anything in the world, and that cold face that deeply hid all the burning and billowing things. Hadius Meyer was still shining, was still beautiful, and still made her heart flutter.

“It was like Pandora’s box, Emilia.” His low, deep voice tickled her ears. “You made me despair and suffer, leaving me with another damn hope. So I have no choice.”

She felt like she was floating, and her vision was dizzy. On the other side of her distant consciousness, the part of her that was obsessed with hatred and resentment, was just a stranger. Emilia quietly contemplated herself.

“We may have broken our engagement, but this is not the end.”

The hand with her ring on it was dragged by his own and floated into the air.

“You are free. I will be free, too. And then we will start again.”

The man’s lips touched hers. His hot breath poured over her like a stigma, spreading through her arms, to her heart, and to her whole body. She tried to get away from him. She struggled. But in the end, she couldn’t even take a step back, and she was back at the starting point again.

Why am I running away when I know I can’t win and escape? Emilia stared quietly at his grey eyes inching closer to her.

Can I like you again? To the point that I can throw away the peaceful life I’ve just regained and be plunged into chaos again…. Will I be able to love you that much?

* * * 

Kallia and Mitch glanced out of the window whenever they had a chance. The mother and son duo had been anxious with expectation ever since the King’s messenger came here two days ago. Their anxiety reached its peak this morning when the carriage from the royal family disappeared with Emilia. Half a day passed like that.

When the faint light of the sun rose just above their heads and began to illuminate the corners of the forest, the carriage finally arrived. When they realized that it didn’t belong to the royal family but the Meyers, the two looked at each other in surprise.

Sitting on the swing and kicking at the ground, Charlotte was equally surprised. She felt the smell of a man next to her sister getting closer to her was familiar.

“How have you been?”

For some reason, Charlotte felt tears welling in her eyes.

“Young Master!”

“You heard from Pip, right? Moria is growing very well. You are welcome to visit her anytime.”

“Really?”

Charlotte’s head naturally turned toward her sister. She didn’t feel anything from her sister. But the fact that she wasn’t as angry as before made her little girl’s heart pound.

…Something must have happened between the two of them. That’s for sure.

Hadius turned his body to appease Brave, who had been jumping and waving his tail earlier.

Kallia reacted late and ran out. “Young Master, how are you… here…?”

Hadius looked around the family and immediately opened his mouth to explain about the breaking off of their engagement and the Royal grant.

The room became deadly silent from the shock. Kallia’s face turned white in bewilderment, alternately shifting her eyes at the Young Master Meyer and her distant daughter. Since their engagement had been broken, so had their relationship as well.

All the controversies and chaos will end, and order and peace will be restored. But why do I feel disturbed and restless? Blinking, Kallia came to her senses and opened her mouth.

“For you to come all the way here…. It is shabby, but why don’t you come in and have a cup of tea?”

Hadius looked down at the clothes Kallia and Mitch were wearing. They looked like they were about to go out, wearing a coat and a hat.

“It’s okay….”

But before he could finish, a small voice interrupted him.

“Would you like to go to the beach with me?” Charlotte asked him in a hurried manner as if she didn’t want anyone to interrupt her. “I was waiting for my sister and was planning on playing with her. Today is everyone’s day off. Since you’ve come all the way here, you should also come with us, Young Master. You will see something great this time around.”

“No, you can’t, Charlotte.”

“Young Master is busy.”

Kallia and Emilia shouted almost at the same time, but the innocent voice continued to speak without listening to them.

“Uncle Beppy will also go with us. Brave, too. There are many sandwiches.”

Charlotte held up a large picnic basket placed under her feet. When Mitch was about to interrupt and say no,

“Shall we?”

His unexpected answer made everyone speechless.

Beppy finally broke the silence. He took Charlotte’s hand with his one hand and the basket with his other.

“I want to go there quickly. Beppy wants to go to the picnic quickly.”

“Alright! Let’s get going! We have to go quickly before the sun goes down.”

Charlotte quickly took Hadius’ hand without hesitation. The two started walking side by side as if it was natural.

A faint smile was drawn on Emilia’s lips. She had lost neither her will to resist nor her energy yet was forced to follow them like a doll hanging on a string.

As they arrived on the beach, they were in front of what Charlotte had called ‘something great.’ It was a flock of white seagulls that completely covered the sandy beach. It was nothing more than a flock of birds flocking on the shore. But as they got closer, Hadius felt his heart thumping against his chest as strangely as when he first saw Moria.

There were tiny things wiggling between the sand and stones. They were newborn baby birds. But it was different for Hadius. He looked down at the hatchlings for a long time, lost for words. And so was Beppy. He stopped at a distance, as if he couldn’t bear to get any closer. He then squatted like a child and watched the hatchlings silently.

Emilia looked at them and smiled.

“That is a little tern. Isn’t it amazing that seagulls lay their eggs in the sand?”

“A baby bird. Beppy likes baby birds.”

The sweet words issuing from a big man’s mouth made everyone smile. Emilia explained how the baby bird looked, and then stood a good distance away. Her heart was melting like wax.

Emilia always saw them every year, and she knew very well that they were only less than the size of the palm of her hand; she also knew that the road in front of the tiny and fragile life was never romantic. Less than a tenth of their total number survived the savagery of the predators and the rough weather. In the end, most of them die…. But this tiny creature still throbs with life. It was trying its best to live a moment of life that was futile and crumbling.

As Emilia placed her hand on her chest and tried to calm her throbbing heart, Beppy suddenly jumped to his feet and went to the sea with Brave. Watching them, Mitch also threw off his shirt and jumped into the water. Beppy, who was swimming like a seal, came out of the water, looked around, and approached Charlotte. He then squatted down and offered his back, on which Charlotte clung onto the old man’s broad shoulders. Beppy carefully immersed his body in the water. The gentle waves tickled Charlotte’s ankles so she burst into laughter.

Kallia sat down on the mat and spread the food, looking at her children with delight. Only Hadius was looking at the waves at a reasonable distance from them.

“…”

Her bare feet, which had been treading on the sand, flowed toward him like she was pulled by a magnet.

“It still doesn’t feel real to me. I feel awkward just with the thought of being the Duchess or having a title. Maybe I won’t be able to accept it until the end.”

It was an abrupt and incoherent rambling, but Hadius didn’t show any sign of embarrassment. He just listened to her silently.

“I know that.”

“I… I am really… I am really a self-centered person. I am probably only thinking about my family. When things get hard… I might just want to run away.”

“That’s alright.”

“I don’t have confidence. I am not confident that I will be happy next to the Young Master, nor will I make the Young Master happy in return….”

“I don’t care.” His face blazed as if it contained the sun as he turned to Emilia. “It doesn’t matter, Emilia,” he said again with a firm, unshakable gaze.

“…”

Emilia seemed to understand what he meant when he said it didn’t matter.

* * * 

Saturday.

Hadius Meyer didn’t attend the dinner party held at the Grand Duke Reinen’s mansion. His replacement was his aide and an ultra-expensive jewelry purchased at the Mepix Jewelry. People couldn’t help but admire the brilliance of the colorful jewel.

“It’s still pretty good. I didn’t expect this surprise….”

Enria glanced at her daughter who was slowly waving her peacock feathered fan. Bianca’s response was calm. She had had no interest in jewelry since she was young. But it wasn’t the same with the chess set that arrived later. It made her heart beat pretty fast.

“Even so, there is no way you can hide the disappointment. His Majesty declared their engagement was already broken, so there is no reason for him not to be able to come.”

Enria looked at her daughter and sighed once more.

“Don’t you feel disappointed?”

“Not at all.”

Enria swallowed her surprise and stared into her daughter’s face. Again, she didn’t seem to be doing this just for saving face.

“That kind of feeling is for someone who is disappointed. It would be better if Hadii and my relationship wasn’t about who is disappointed and who’s not. I want us to have a perfectly equal relationship. I still would have made the same decision even if my position were changed.”

“…”

“Father and Mother were always resentful toward Meyer, but I don’t really understand why. Looking back, we made more mistakes on our side. I heard that our side secretly made a negotiating team without discussing anything with them. It just happened that he was already struggling to break off his engagement. It was natural for him to feel betrayed. We should even feel thankful that Madam Meyer didn’t bring it up until now. We are not just simple business partners, but we formed a blood alliance on the premise of marriage.”

Enria’s heart was pounding.

“Your father seems to regret a little. Me, too, as a matter of fact. Madam Meyer seemed to be increasingly wary of her allies.”

Bianca sighed with a slightly dark face. Enria knew that her daughter admired and respected Caitlyn Meyer. Unlike her, her daughter wasn’t educated as an ordinary Young Lady.

Caitlyn and Bianca had some similarities. Both of them were the kind of people who fit the word ‘heroine’ very well.

“Madam Meyer particularly stays far away from Assemblyman Richards. There must have been some misunderstanding between the two of them, but your father got stuck in the middle of them; it was very troublesome.”

“Do not worry.” Bianca answered as she picked up the queen among the finely crafted pieces. The soft touch enveloped Bianca’s palm with the faint fragrance of maple trees. “This is a family union, so how can there be such trivial things like conflict? I will continue this alliance as strong as a marriage. Of course, while we are overcoming the estranged problems regarding the negotiating team.”

Enria looked at her daughter’s sparkling eyes. With her chin raised, Bianca was overflowing with grace and dignity like that of a Queen’s. When did the child who used to cry, ‘Why am I so fat and ugly?’ grow up?

“I am glad to see you all grown up. But remember, Bianca, your father and I are your parents before we are entrepreneurs. We want you to be happy. That is the most important thing.”

Bianca relaxed and looked softly at her mother again.

“Of course. Marriage comes first before our alliance.”

“Will Meyer be able to make you happy?”

“Who knows?” Bianca hesitated for a moment. When she opened her mouth again, her eyes were reddish gold and twinkled with a complex brilliance, “One thing is certain. That I can make Hadii happy. Because the only person who knows him best is probably me.”