Love Me Harder, Mr. Fu - Chapter 62

“Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know if I like you or not. Things are just….just confusing” she tries explaining herself, looking at him. He stares at her, still holding her palm, saying nothing. “It’s not easy for me to confide in someone or to trust someone that easily” she continues.

“You ever been in love?” he asks, gripping her palm as if it’s the only thing he needs at the moment. She blinks twice, thinking if she should tell him about Atian or not. When she do not answers, he brings his hand forward and caresses her cheek gently, and says slowly, “Your heart isn’t healed, right?”

This almost had her break into tears. She controls her tears but the burden feels so heavy in her chest that she just wants to lift it and throw it away. “Yes, I was. I was very happy….and I felt that I was the happiest girl in the world. Everything was so beautiful, we were so in love…” she trembles but she continues, “until one day everything was destroyed. Good days didn’t last and a tragic thing took place which…ruined all our lives.”

“What happened?” he asks gently.

“He…He got into an accident…because of me. Me! I shouldn’t have been that careless or else nothing would have happened. He-He was saved thankfully but his memories were gone. He forgot me. He forgot about us!” she sobs as tears stream down from her eyes. “I wanted to accompany him, to made him recall everything but his mother wouldn’t let me. she ordered me to stay away from her son and to never appear in front of him.”

He sucks in the air, trying to control his temper. He did not expect this, not at all. He didn’t expect that something this miserable would have happened to her. Looking at her, her eyes puffy and tears still rolling down from her eyes, his heartache and at the same time anger boils. How can her mother do this? how can she do that to her?

“I am now afraid to open up to anyone because you can trust no one. I-I opened up to you because I want to trust you..” she confesses slowly, barely audible. She wipes her tears but her tears won’t stop coming. Sharing this its like a burden has been lifted from her chest. She wants to cry, cry as loud as can and make this pain go away.

“Shh..baby” Zichen pulls her into his embrace and tries to soothe her. she did not flinch nor pushed him away. He tries coaxing her as he gently pats her back. “Cry. Cry all you want. I am here. Baby, I am always here for you..” he whispers in her hair in between his light kisses.

She did. She cries her eyes out and lets him hold her. she wants him to hold her, hold her while she cries, hold her while she stumbles, hold her forever. No one has ever made her feel like this, not even Atian. The assurance she feels in his arms and the words he told, her heart swells just by hearing it. Never she thought that she will share this with anyone, let alone Zichen but after telling him…it feels good and light.

“You okay?” he asks. She stops trembling and crying but she did not want to let go of his embrace. She nods answering him, sniffing.

He retracts her from him and looks down at her face. He tilts her chin up, his eyes meeting hers, and there it is, the flame, the spark, it’s there. He leans in and kisses her forehead. She didn’t make any movement, her eyes closed as he continues kissing her. He kisses her puffy eyes gently, both of them, then the tip of her nose, and slowly reaches down her lips. Opening her eyes, she looks at him, his eyes already boring at hers making her heart clench and her throat dry. She licks her lip as her eyes trail down to his, wanting. She wants him to kiss her so badly that it hurts.

He smiles and leans down to kiss her. He busses her gently, his tongue diving into hers and exploring her mouth. She tastes like watermelon, probably her lip balm, he guesses. His hands trailing to her back and he grabs her ass, squeezing it.

Shi Lian wants more. She straddles into his lap making herself comfortable and continues kissing him passionately. Her hands fisting into his hair as she rides on his lap. Her clit throbs as she feels the hard bulge of his from his pants, needing to be out. He grabs her ass and she moans and it is the perfect sound he ever heard. “Baby…” he grumbles as he kisses her hard, teasing her lower lip with his teeth.

*Knock* *Knock*

Both of them flinch as they hear the knocking on the car window. Shi Lian hastily climbs off from his lap and sits in her original position. She straightens her dress and hair with her hands to not appear like she was ‘doing’ it.

“Shit” Zichen mutters and he too straightens his clothes. He opens the tinted window glass and is presents with the face of his manager, Rong. “What?” he snaps.

Rong gulps because he knows he has bothered him at the wrong time. He manages to speak even though Zichen’s glare is scaring the shit out of him. “S-Sir, Miss Evelyn is looking for Miss Shi Lian. She said it’s important and she appeared to be angry.”

To that Shi Lian asks, “Angry?” popping her head to see his manager’s face. ‘Why is she angry now? Did the both of them fought again?’ she mulls over.

“Yes ma’am.”

“I am going,” she tells both of them and reaches for the car handle to open. Zichen holds her arm and she turns to face him with a ‘What?’ look.

He scowls but without commenting, he sighs and says, “I’ll come with you.”

She grins, wide and big, and nods at him. He shakes her head looking at her behaving all cute. They hop out of the car and close the door from behind. Zichen passes the car keys to Rong and walks with Shi Lian to find Evelyn.

While walking, Shi Lian turns her head to her right, facing Zichen, and says, “Thank you.” The genuine smile on her face shows she really means it.

Confused, he asks, “For what?”

“For coming here….for holding me….for hearing my ranting” she half-laughs. She half expects him to laugh but he does not. His face remains straight and calm.

He stops midway without saying anything. “What?” she asks.

Instead of saying anything, he threads his fingers into hers and looks directly into her hazel-brown eyes. “You don’t need to thank me, Shi Lian. Just remember that what I said earlier, I mean each word. I am glad you opened up to me and to be honest hugging you is the soothing console I had.”

She is astonished. How can this cold and bossy Chairman be so tender? She is in awe of him. Her heart warms up hearing his words and dang she feels giddy all of a sudden.

“Okay” she smiles and they continue to walk, their fingers intertwined with each other.

How fast the time changes. She once despised him and now she wants to stay beside him. She kinda likes him.

After everything that happened today, she is sure of one thing, that she likes him, that this person is the one who can make her heart beats like crazy and at the same time cause pain which hurts like hell. She recalls the night they first met, although she doesn’t remember it all, still, she does and now she doesn’t regret it. She remembers the way her body was on fire when his cool hands touched her bare skin. His face is blurry but the feel of him, she remembers it clearly.

When they met the third time and he told her it was his first time, she couldn’t believe him at all. How can he be a virgin if his skills are so damn good? Now to think of it, she believes him, she wants to believe him and trust him.

To think that she is his first and he is her first, she couldn’t help but smile.

His hands feel warm in hers and there’s this feeling that she doesn’t want to let him go. She grips his palm tightly as they walk and in return, he squeezes in assurance. The silence is serene and comfortable.

A cool wind blows making the stray hairs fall into her face. before she can remove it, Zichen’s hand does it for her. suddenly she feels pampered and spoilt, like a child who wants the attention of the person they like. It’s been so long, she felt happy, really happy. All she wishes the day to never end.

**

I am scared that

You make me feel

So many things at once.

I can barely breathe

With you there

Occupying my thoughts.

But more importantly

I am grateful to you

Because of you I feel

For once the depth of my emotions

For once I am not numb

For once I am powerless to supress

For once I am out of control, wild

For once I am liberated

I am free with my own rationality

I am free of my own limitations

I am soaring with emotions

I feel ALIVE.