Love Untangled - Chapter 143

Saphira

I tried to hide my grieve. His eyes warned me not to go there. “I need to know that you will be alright, now that I am leaving.” I said.

I did not know where that came from. I was in no position to leave. “You’re what?” He slowly questioned. I bit my lip.

My news seemed to work him up. I saw that he tightened his jaw. “You are not leaving this palace, it is not safe for you to be our there.” He demanded.

“I don’t think it is good for me to stay here either.” I told him. It was the truth though. “I get that.” He said bluntly.

“You are right.” He said making me feel even worse.

“But that does not mean that you are able to leave.” He reminded me.

My heart broke.

He did not want me here and he was not even hiding it. “Jasmine will kill the both of us.” He said under his breath. I did not know if he was talking to me or to himself. My chest felt heavy.

“She does not have to know.” I said swallowing my pride. “I can not keep anything from her.” He disagreed. “Sometimes it is better not to know.” I contradicted him. “She will need some serious recovery when she wakes up… mentally and physically… so I do not think it would be wise to burden her with our mistake…” I said, while the words were suffocating me.

“A mistake…” He repeated monotonously. I did not know how to read him. His expression was completely blank.

“Did it feel like a mistake to you?” He whispered. I looked down at me feet. Benjamin came closer and held his hand near my chin, like he wanted to cup my face, but then dropped his hand. Benjamin sighed heavily.

”

“Not in the moment.” I said still not looking at him. “But I realize that you love her only.” Benjamin interrupted me my touching my shoulder. “I know that you feel that way, but that is not true. The problem is that I do love you.” He said rushing through the words.

“So much… that the guilt had swallowed me these last couple of days…”

“But you love her more.” I pressed.

He was quiet for a while. You could hear a pin drop.

“Yes.” He finally admitted.

“If she would still have me after all I have done, I-” He looked at me pleadingly. “I need her Saph… I can’t live without her.” He murmured.

“And she won’t…. After I tell her that I have kissed you… She will leave.” He said with clear desperation in his voice. He threw his hands in the air like he was surrendering to his fate.

“She will never find out.” I promised him. I hated to see him like this. I had never seen him this lost before. Benjamin wiped his hands across his face.

“Saph… I’m…” He started to say. “It is okay…” I tried to calm him down. “It will be okay.” I said in a low voice. “We will both be okay.” I said mostly to myself.

It was unfair. Why would he love her that much…

I was the one who wanted him. Only him and nothing else. “I do need to tell her.” He said running his fingers through his hair. Benjamin walked towards his liquor table again.

I hasted my way after him and placed my hand on his, aborting his mission to pour another drink.

“Your highness.” A servant entered his wing, completely out of breath. “She is awake. Your majesty, she is awake!” He gulped. His face was almost red. I looked at Benjamin and he seemed frozen.

“Ben.” I urged and shook his arm. He slowly turned his face towards me and I saw pure fear in his eyes. Or was it shock, or maybe guilt? I don’t know, maybe a combination.

“I-I… I need…. I need to go and…. I need to see her.” Benjamin said hyperventilating. “Take a deep breath.” I told him. I saw that he tried to do that, but his hands started shaking.

“Your highness… the princess is asking for you.” The servant said in earnest. When Benjamin did not respond as he hoped, he tried again. “Your highness.. The princess is in well… In the same state that she sometimes is at night.” The servant said meaningfully.

“What the heck is that supposed to mean?” I asked. The servant did not answer me. Worry colored Benjamin’s face. He immediately put the glass down and ran out of the room, leaving me alone.

Benjamin

I sprinted through the halls of the palace. Servants here and there blocking my way, wanting to tell me something. I ignored them all. When I entered the hospital wing, my grandfather stood before her door.

“You have emerged.” He said disapprovingly pouting his lips and shaking his head. Behind the doors I heard Jasmine scream. My grandfather was blocking me from going in.

“Grandfather.” I said, gesturing with my hands that I need to go in.

My grandfather did not seem moved by me. He stood there, as the calmness itself. Slowly playing with the beads of his praying neckless.

“Grandfather, thank God that she is awake. There is no one higher than our God.” I spoke. Still nothing. I licked my lips to moisturize the dryness. “I need to see my wife.” I told him.

“Benjamin.” My grandfather said in serenity. “She must never know.” He said staring me down.

“Know what?” I asked stunned. “Do not dare to play games with me son.” He said in his all-knowing voice. He knew.

Of course he knew… I swallowed. Guilt washed over me again. I ran my fingers through my hair, once again wanting to pull it all out.

I did not know how to respond to that and I tried to swallow.

“She. Must. Never. Know..” My grandfather repeated, making every word its own sentence.