Love Untangled - Chapter 147

Benjamin

Our faces were just a few inches apart.

“I can go with whoever I like.” She said. “No, you absolutely can not!” I told her. “I can’t see any reason why not!” She insisted.

“I can see a million.” I told her. “Name one…” She provoked me.

“Because Malik thinks he is a Casanova and he is not serious with you.” I said placing her hands above her head.

“He was a perfect gentleman.” She said. Her breath touched my face. “Stop taunting me like this!” I told her. “I am not taunting you in any way.” She said and shrugged.

“You know that I can not see you with any one else. If you want to date or whatever it is that you want to do… do it with someone I do not know and do it when you are back in Malibu.” I spoke.

Her body was pressed against mine. Her breathing began to spike. “You are not in any position to tell me who and who I can not date and where I date is certainly not any of your business either!” She yelled.

“He just wants to take advantage of you!” I roared. “And what if I want him to take advantage of me, it is not as if I can save myself for marriage anymore since you and I kissed….” She said and pouted her lips.

“Oh… So you are punishing me for kissing you now… Are you!” I said in frustration, tightening my grip on her.

“Benjamin, you can not have it both ways! You either want me or you don’t. And if you don’t, I think it is very much in my right to find someone else who does want me.” She said to me.

“You know that I want you, but that does not mean that I can have you.” I said shaking me head. “No… because you don’t love me.” She said and my heart broke.

“That is utterly absurd!” I said as I kissed her. She knotted her hands in my hair and we kissed like our life depended on it.

We were both out of breathe when we looked at each other. I ran my hand through my hair and looked at her.

“I am sorry.” She mumbled. I closed my eyed. Saphira stroke her hand across my jawline.

“Saph… I…” I did it again… what kind of man was I. I was the worst of the worst. “I am sorry.” She said again. “I know that you do love me… But Ben… You need to let me go.” She whispered.

I looked at her an stroke my hand through her brown hair. Her hair felt silky smooth. I had forgotten what it felt like to touch her.

“You are right… I need to let you go.” I breathed. I looked at the ceiling and then back at her. Her deep blue eyes pierced through mine.

“You have to… Because you love her…” She said with sadness in her eyes. I stroke my thumb across her lips.

“One last kiss…” She asked pleadingly. I closed my eyes and sighed. I slowly moved my lips towards her and gently brushed my lips across her. She met me, willingly and opened her mouth, inviting me. She tastes as sweet as cherries.

I kissed her with hunger. Her hands moved across my body. Touching my face, my chest, my arms, pulling me closer towards her.

“Goodbye.” She whispered against my lips.

I took a deep breathe, gathering all my strength to part from her. “Goodbye.” I told her. “I love you.” She said.

I placed my head against her forehead. “I love you.” I said in return. When I go… please don’t go and my with Malik…” I begged her. “When I’m back…. I… just please..” I asked.

She just nodded. “Where are you going?” She asked me. “I don’t know yet, but I can not stay here with you… Because I will keep doing things that will hurt Jasmine and she does not deserve any of this.” I admitted.

“I know.” She whispered. “How long will you be gone?” She questioned. “I think this whole summer… ” I thought out loud. “It is the only way…” I shrugged. “After that you will be okay to go back to Malibu and then I can return…” I told her.

“So you never want to see me again.” She said. Her voice broke on every word of the sentence. “That is not what I am saying… but I think for now that is better.” I offered. “For who?” She asked bitterly.

“Certainly not for me…” She said looking to the ground… “I do not want to live without you… sometimes…” She abruptly stopped talking. “Sometimes…” I pressed.. “I just really wish that Zachary and Sierra had not intervened in our relationship… I was so happy with you.” She said still not looking at me.

I tilted her chin up, so I could look into her eyes. “We absolutely were.” I told her. I sighed… “Everything I feel is just so tangled up right now…” I said shaking my head in pure frustration.

“But I know that I can not make you happy…” I wanted to get through to her. “That is the silliest thing I have ever heard you say.” Saph said and pouted her lips again. “It is not silly… Evangeline… it is the truth.” I declared.

“Why can’t you make me happy?” Her voice held so much sadness… I closed my eyes again. Not wanting to look at her when I would say this. “Because… although it was not my plan… but I do really love her… I love her more than life itself…” I said in all honesty.

“And what if I wanted to be your second wife?” She asked me.

I tilted my head to the side, wanting to scrutinize her face. She was serious, that much was clear.

“When I first wanted to do that… I did not intend to have a relationship with Jazz… but it is too late for that now..” I said stroking through her hair.