Love Untangled - Chapter 157

Jasmine

After Benjamin had drank and eaten, his stomach threw it all out. I wondered what he had been up to these last day.

Jaya and Jacob… I touched the paper and closed my eyes. I remembered them under the apple tree and tears spilled on the paper in front of me.

How could I live without them. I touched my belly, although they were no longer there. I longed to see them again, or touch them like I had done in my dream.

It did not really feel like a dream. I knew for sure that I did see them. I had promised them that I would never leave them, and I felt like I had failed them.

I was not really an artist of any sorts and grew frustrated by the many attempts of drawing their faces right.

I kept ripping the pieces of paper when I failed to do their faced justice and threw them to the ground in frustration.

“Hey, what is the matter?” Benjamin asked me. He suddenly stood behind me and I jumped. I did not know that he was awake already. I sighed, fiercely hoping that he did not want me to look at him, because I could not hide my tears right now.

“Habibie?” He tried again kissing my cheek. “You’re crying…” He whispered.

“Jazz?” He called my name and put his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t” I blurted out and immediately regretted it.

Benjamin did not really listen to me, as he turned my wheelchair around. He scrutinized my face. Seeing his hazel eyes only made me more sad, because I saw Jacob in them. I sobbed even harder, unable to control myself.

“I’m sorry.” I gulped. Benjamin cupped my face, while he leveled himself to me. “Never apologize for grieving.” He told me.

He stood up and pick up the papers I had thrown away and studied them. He was silent for a while and then spoke. “Were you trying to draw them?” He asked me. I did not really felt like talking about this and just nodded.

“Curly hair.” He lightly smiled. “Is that how you would picture them?” He asked me. I shrugged. “I think they would both have your eyes.” He said thinking.

“They don’t.” I said and immediately regretted that I mentioned that, because that would only raise more questions and I was not really willing to answer any of them.

Benjamin frowned. “My eyes then? And your hair.” He offered as he took a seat next to me.

“One of them.” I said unwillingly. “They would have been incredibly beautiful with a mother like you.” He smiled. “They are.” I hated that he spoke of them like they no longer existed.

“Do you want to go up?” Benjamin suddenly said. “Sure.” I said not really enthusiastic. Benjamin took my wheelchair and we both got on the elevator. The first deck was even more beautiful than I remembered.

“Ben… This yacht honestly is just ridiculous.” I said not believing that he would spend this much money. “Why is that?” He said as he placed me next to the luxurious grand piano.

“We could feed all of the poor in our country with the costs of this yacht.” I said disapprovingly.

Benjamin let his hands glide on the keys of the piano, composing I beautiful melody. “Don’t you feel bothered by that fact?!” I questioned, picking a fight with him.

Benjamin kept on playing and slightly looked at me. I saw that he raised his eyebrow. “Sometimes.” He admitted. “But I have donated money to charity since I was eight as well. I have always thought of others.” He shrugged, not feeling bothered by my words. “Clearly hardly enough, since you are still able to afford something as absurd as this.” I went on with my war path.

Benjamin stopped playing the piano and looked at me. He cocked his head to the side and his hazel eyes held mine.

“I am not ashamed of the wealth my family has gathered over the ages and are gathering still.” He said. I could not read his face.

“You should be.” I pressed. Benjamin looked taken aback with my words. Benjamin shook is head. “I am ashamed to belong to you as well.”  I said. I probably had gone too far with this, but somehow I did not really seem bothered.

“Habib.” Benjamin sighed. “You do not mean that.” He said reaching for my face and stroking me cheek. “Sure I do.” I said offended. “Or do you think that I can not think for myself either? Like the rest of the men in Saudi.” I snapped at him.

I saw that Benjamin hesitated to say something. He seemed to be contemplating how to respond. “Well…” He said directly looking into my eyes. “I am very proud that I have added you to our family as my wife.” He said meaningfully.

Saphira

“I do not really know what is the matter with me..” I said to Malik. “I just feel lost, I guess.” I told him. “Maybe you should stop comparing yourself to other people and start finding out who you are!” He said with a grin.

“How do you suppose I do that?!” I shook my head and laughed. He was so easy to talk to. It was strange, because I hardly knew him. I bit my lip when I looked up at him again.

There seemed to be a strong pull between us/ it was really strange.

“Start learning about the history of your roots.” He said. “On both sides.” He added. “Will you help me with that?” I blurted out.

Oh… that was really stupid… it sounded flirty and maybe it was. Did I really want to flirt with him? I was an idiot.

Malik Snickered. “I don’t think that is a very good idea.” He said. I felt ashamed for asking and fumbled with my abaya.

“Sorry.” I whispered.

Malik sighed. “It is just that…” He looked at me like he wanted to say something, but held back. “I do not want to bring you in trouble or give you the wrong idea.” He told me.

Oh… How I wanted to go run away and hide right now.

I bit my lip a little harder. It was completely silent for a while… “That’s not what I meant.” I whispered. “I just wanted to be your friend.” I mumbled under my breath.

“You are a woman.” He said. I frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?!” I frowned, mimicing his facial expression.

“Oh…” I said, finally realizing what it was that he meant.

“It is time to go.” Malik said and stood up.

Benjamin

I did not really know what was up with Jazz… No.. Of course I did not what was happening. She was grieving. I should not let her words get to me.

She probably did not mean what she said. I was looking at the Mediterranean sea. The water was clear, but this was not a time to enjoy anything.

Jasmine was laying in a hospital bed that my staff put on the deck. She was tired and the beach chairs did not offer her much comfort.

She was reading a book and was not really talkative right now.

I wanted to do something for her and I wandered down to the area we were earlier this day.

I looked at the drawings. Maybe it would comfort her if she was able to finish these sketches. I picked up my phone and dialed the number of my assistant who was somewhere on this yacht.

“Can you arrange something for me?” I asked. “Good evening your majesty.” He said. “What is that you want me to arrange for you?” He asked amused.

“Who is the best artist in this area?” I questioned. “What kind of artist do you mean your majesty?” He asked enthusiastic. He knew that I was up to something.

“Someone who can draw portrait through the thought of others.” I spoke. “I mean.. My wife was drawing something… and I think she has some faces in her head that she wants on paper… and I need someone to help. Some good.” I added, explaining what I wanted.

“I will look into that.” He said. “When do you need this artist?” He asked me. “As soon as you can.” I said as I thought of my wife. I needed something to cheer her up. I did not know what else I could do for her.

Saphira

We were heading back to the palace and were sitting in the black vans we came in. “Where were you?” Lynn asked.

“I just needed some air.” I told her. “But you never danced!” Lynn said. I sighed. “I was happy watching you all.” I tried to smile. “You could have had more fun by joining us.” Lynn stated.

Sometimes she was so pushy.. She never had a care in the world and always felt so sure of who she was and what she wanted….