Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 101

– What Is the First Step to Becoming a Ninja? Graduating From Ninja School First, Idiot!“How could there be such a thing!” Sacchan exclaimed loudly.

“What should we do?” Katsura asked in a low voice.
“You look like a layman.” Kawaki smacked his lips with a regretful expression on his face, “You who have never liked to read Jump since you were a child don’t even know how to feel Chakra? Then let me teach you! The so-called chakra is the power produced by combining physical and spiritual energy! So, close your eyes and listen to my instruction!”
Sacchan was just about to complain when Gintoki decisively covered her mouth. Shinpachi and Kagura also tactfully did not speak because Kawaki’s expression was exactly the same as the one when he fooled Toshiro last time!
“Is it really possible?” Katsura didn’t believe it, but he still obediently sat down and closed his eyes, “Don’t teach me strange ninjutsu. I definitely won’t learn anything like seduction!”
“Ah, don’t worry. You just need to wear a red wig for a while, engrave the word ‘love’ on your forehead, and a gourd on your back. Even if you don’t know ninjutsu, it doesn’t matter.” Kawaki said indifferently, “Then next! It’s the critical moment! Think carefully; where is the source of Naruto’s chakra?”
“Is it his own?” Katsura said with some uncertainty.
“No! Naruto’s biggest source of chakra is in his abdomen! The Kyuubi is in there! That is his biggest reliance!” After a pause, Kawaki continued to bluff, “You are different from us. In other words, you are actually an existence like Naruto!”
“Really?!” Katsura was a little shocked, but his eyes still did not open.
“Yes, almost exactly the same! So I will teach you to draw out the power in the depths of your body and teach you to use it! There is absolutely no problem even using Sand Burial!” Kawaki persuaded, “So, calm down and quietly feel the restlessness in your abdomen… Yes… It is a restlessness that you can’t feel at all times…”
Hearing this, Katsura became serious and began to put all his thoughts into his abdomen according to Kawaki’s instructions.
At this time, Kawaki raised his head and looked at Gintoki. The two of them revealed sinister and treacherous expressions at the same time.
‘Katsura-san is going to be fooled…’ This was what Shinpachi was thinking at this time.
Five minutes passed. Katsura, who had been silent all this time, suddenly said in surprise, “I feel it! I really feel something strange in my abdomen! But why is this feeling so familiar? It’s like po…”
Without waiting for Katsura to finish speaking, Gintoki hurriedly said, “Because it always exists in your body! That’s why you have a sense of familiarity! That’s not pooping! Although it feels like poop, it is not!”

“I see…”
“That’s right! Next, what I want to teach you is how to control it!” Kawaki looked at Gintoki and made an OK gesture, “As everyone knows, the Kyuubi’s chakra in Naruto’s body is very difficult to control! So, use all your spirit to control it! Get it out! Get it out of the anus!”
“No, isn’t it just pooping in the general sense?” Katsura said.
“That’s why you don’t know anything! When Naruto used the Bijuu Cloak, the tail that appeared on his butt, how did you think it appeared” Kawaki criticized seriously.
“So that’s the case!” Katsura came to a sudden realization and began to use all his strength to expel the “chakra” that was piled up in his stomach. His entire face began to twist and sweat. It seemed to be a huge lump of… “chakra”…
…
Katsura lowered his head and sat in his seat expressionlessly. He had already changed into the same sportswear as Kawaki and the others.
When Katsura changed clothes, Kawaki, Gintoki, and the others had already burst out laughing.
Kawaki coughed twice and took the lead to speak, “Now I will teach you the so-called twelve basic ninja hand seals…”
“Do you think I will still believe you?!” Katsura raised his head and shouted.
The veins on his face jumped, and everyone couldn’t hold it in anymore. At the same time, they burst into laughter.
Kawaki tried his best to stop himself from laughing, “This is the so-called karma. Zura, if you are heartless, don’t blame us for being unkind! Now, I am in a much better mood. After all, everyone has changed into sportswear. Isn’t that right, Gintoki? Hahahaha…”
“I didn’t expect a Zura would be suitable for wearing sportswear, hahaha…” As he spoke, Gintoki also laughed.
“It’s not Zura; it’s Katsura!!!” Katsura couldn’t bear it any longer. He pulled out his sword and slashed at the two of them, “The result of fooling a Samurai, I will execute you two bastard!”
However, Shinpachi reacted quickly and hugged Katsura from behind, “Katsura-san! Calm down! You didn’t forget what you came here for, right? It was to save Elizabeth! And didn’t you also use laxatives on us? We’re even now!”

“What… what’s with the laxative?” Sacchan sensed that something was wrong.
“Nothing!” Kawaki and Gintoki replied decisively at the same time.
“I was wondering why you changed your clothes. So that’s how it is! You are no different from him at all!” Sacchan shouted.
“Although I don’t know what you’re talking about, we’re just trying to change our image. How could something like that get on our clothes?” Gintoki waved his hand with an indifferent face.
“How could the so-called protagonist possibly stick that kind of thing on his pants? You’re thinking too much. It’s just that recently, we like sports.” Kawaki also waved his hand and said with a look of disgust.
“The two of you better not explain…” Shinpachi whispered expressionlessly.

“No matter how much you beg me, becoming a ninja in such a short period of time, even I…” Sacchan showed a trace of embarrassment.
A man wearing glasses with lipstick and a female ninja dressed like Sacchan passed by Kawaki’s table and reminded him in a rough male voice, “We have gone through countless special training with blood and sweat! We finally became a female ninja! Don’t look down on us, Trash!”
“Manager… you are a man, okay…”
“Then can I at least ask you to go with me, Miss Sacchan?” Katsura lowered his head and asked.
“Just call me Sacchan,” Sacchan replied.
Sacchan then took out her phone and said, “I’m sorry, but I have connections with many of Bakufu’s people. I can’t act rashly. Even today, you see, I just received their commission…”
As she spoke, Sacchan stretched out her phone. Before she could finish speaking, Gintoki pulled out a wooden sword and cut the phone in half.

“Bastard, are you playing with us?” Gintoki said unhappily, “What are you playing with your phone in front of the guests when you are working?!”
Hearing this, Sacchan turned her head. Her face was filled with a strange expression, and there was a blush, “It’s really strict~”
Kawaki / Shinpachi: “…”
“What are you secretly happy about! It’s a really super disgusting look!” Kawaki was the first to scold, “Believe it or not; I will throw you to Yoshiwara’s M club! I can even make you the trump card!”
“Why are you blushing?! What are you blushing for!” Shinpachi also shouted.
“Eh? Really?! The trump card of the M club?!” Sacchan said in surprise, “Although this condition is very tempting, I won’t take the bait! Even if I am an M, I will always belong to Gin-san alone!”
“What nonsense are you talking about!” Gintoki was unhappy, “Who wants an M like you! You pig!”
“Ah~scold me more!” Sacchan said excitedly, “This feeling is really good! Ah!”
…
Looking at the shattered phone, Katsura once again looked at Sacchan and said seriously, “In this way, you will lose contact with Bakufu, right? So, please help…”
Before Katsura could finish, he was interrupted by the curses of the guest beside him, “Hey! What are you dilly-dallying for?! Hurry up and bring our tea!” The guest turned his head and scolded Sacchan.
“Yes, sir! I’ll come right now!” Sacchan quickly replied. She looked at Katsura again and said apologetically, “I’m sorry. You see, I’m so busy working during the day…” After saying that, she jumped up directly. She did not realize that Gintoki had secretly taken off her glasses.
“I’ve made you wait for a while!” Sacchan knelt in front of the guest at the table just now and casually placed the cake on the tray on the face of the guest in front of him, “The cake is free!”
“Sacchan, what are you doing?” Another waiter exclaimed.
“You don’t have to come to work tomorrow…” The manager said with narrowed eyes.

“How can you be like this? Manager~” Sacchan said while constantly torturing the customer in front of him.
“Manager is here!” The manager reminded, “Where are you talking to!”
Finally, Sacchan noticed something strange, “My glasses… When…”
“Hey—” Gintoki waved at Sacchan and adjusted the glasses he was wearing, “Here, here, you forgot your glasses~”
Gintoki and Katsura stood up at the same time and walked to the door of the shop, “It’s really not good~ Sacchan, you are always so clumsy.” Gintoki complained.
“But in this way, there will be no worries.” Katsura nodded and said at the same time.
Meanwhile, Sacchan, who had been watching Gintoki’s back, finally turned her face away, “Ah~ bully me more~”
“Don’t look, Kagura-chan. This person is hopeless.” Kawaki covered Kagura’s eyes and said.
…
In an open space in front of a certain shrine.
Looking at the four ninja apprentices in strange costumes, Kawaki’s face was full of black lines, “Hey, that’s enough. I’m not interested in this ninja house wine, so I’ll go back first…”
With that, Kawaki was about to leave.
“Wait!” Katsura was the first to stop Kawaki with a face full of tears, “Just once! Please help me! ”
“Stand properly!” Sacchan stood to the side, holding her glasses as she scolded, “Listen up! Ninjas must complete their work without being discovered by anyone! After completion, they will not leave any traces behind, completely like shadows! So, any conspicuous behavior must be prohibited, such as wearing conspicuous sportswear!”
“Are you lying with your eyes open?! No matter how you look at it, they are more conspicuous than me!” Kawaki cursed, “And I haven’t said that I want to participate in your ninja camp! If you want to become a ninja, you have to graduate from the ninja school first, idiot!”