Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 127

“Then, I hereby announce that the first Kabukicho, [Takamagahara] host selection, has officially begun!” Gintoki stood in front of the crowd, holding up the microphone and shouting.

The speech ended and there was a crackling sound of applause.
“First, please invite our judges and interviewers!” As he spoke, Gintoki pointed to the four people sitting at the table, “The first one is Kabukicho’s number one host, Kyoshiro! As Kabukicho’s number one host, he is very strict~”
“The host is an industry that I love with all my heart,” Kyoshiro revealed a warm smile and greeted the crowd in front of him.
“The second one is Kabukicho’s number one host, Kyoshiro’s attendant and bodyguard, Hachiro! As the number one host’s trusted friend, he is also the man who understands the path of the host the most!” Gintoki continued to introduce,
“Third, let me make a grand introduction. This is Okaasan that everyone is familiar with! She is also a customer of this shop! So, everyone, you have to work hard and win the favor of Okaasan. Let her give you more points!”
“Fourth…” As he spoke, Gintoki glanced at a young girl who was digging her nose in the judging panel and decisively skipped over the introduction of the last judge, “Above! It is the four judges of this selection! By the way, this selection will adopt a contribution point system. Every judge… ”
“Why did you not introduce me? You bastard!” Kagura rushed out from the judges’ table, kicked Gintoki over, and scolded him.
“Anyway, that’s it! Job seekers, use your fiery heart to move the judges in front of you!” Gintoki, who was beaten to the ground, held the microphone and shouted, “Here we go!”
“What exactly are we here for?” Shinpachi, who was in the crowd, rubbed his eyes and spoke in a low voice without any expression on his face.
“Don’t mind it,” Kawaki patted Shinpachi on the shoulder and pointed at the unusually happy Okaasan on the judging panel, “I’ve helped you a lot. Didn’t you notice that Okaasan was smiling very happily?”
“I can’t be!” Shinpachi was touched, “Did Kawaki-san think of this method to get Okaasan and Hachiro close up?”
“No, I just thought it was fun…” Kawaki replied decisively.

Shinpachi, “…”
…
“Big brother, what should we do about this situation?” A lackey whispered into Kurogoma Katsuo’s ear.
“How would I know? Idiot!” Kurogoma Katsuo cursed. Then, he looked fiercely at Kawaki who was watching the show from the side, “In short, just fool around and end this farce quickly.”
“The first round, first appearance!” On the stage, Gintoki continued to host, “As everyone knows, a good appearance is a foundation to become a host! The job seekers here don’t seem to have put on job attire, but! We already expected it! The formal clothes have been prepared in the dressing room behind everyone, now please go and change your clothes first!”
“What kind of joke is this!” Kurogoma Katsuo scolded impatiently, but just as he spoke, he saw Kawaki looking at him with a kind expression.
“I just want to ask where the dressing room is…” Kurogoma Katsuo swallowed his saliva and forced a smile.
“It’s right behind you! Alright, go and prepare!” After Gintoki finished speaking, under the lead of Kurogoma Katsuo, a group of Dobunezumi Group’s gangsters walked into the dressing room.
“While the job seekers are changing their clothes, we hand over the time to our judges. What do the judges think of the contestants who are participating in the Host Selection today?”
“The Host line is not as simple as imagined. The appearance is just a stepping stone in this line of work. The most important thing is to use rich feeling to keep the guests!” Kyoshiro said with a smile.
“Do you understand? Even a man with a good face can’t be 100% sure that can pass the assessment! Some men with embroidered pillows and straw hearts should withdraw from the competition as soon as possible!” Gintoki said this to Kawaki.
“I didn’t participate at all, you bastard!” Kawaki was furious.

“Simply put, a guy with a fake appearance will never pass the test!” Gintoki ignored Kawaki’s ridicule and continued.
“That’s probably what it means.” Kyoshiro, who was sitting at the judges’ table, nodded.
“Oh, I see. Next, let’s listen to the second judge’s opinion. As a friend who has been with the number one host for the longest time, I believe that in your heart, you also have a unique view of the way of Host!” Gintoki said and looked at Hachiro.
“Hey, it’s like this. As a friend who has followed Kyoshiro for so long, I watched him grow up step by step behind him until he grew up to be the number one host. I have always seen the difficulties in this! Moreover, I used to be a host…”
Before Hachiro could finish, Gintoki decisively interrupted Hachiro, “In short, you can understand when you see Hachiro’s appearance. In other words, appearance is not important at all. What is important is feelings!”
“I haven’t finished yet…” Hachiro replied weakly.

“Next! It’s Okaasan! As a woman who is over half a hundred years old, I believe she has her own unique views on men!”
“Hello everyone,” Hachiro’s mother stood up and bowed slightly to the crowd, “Today, I am just a judge for the host selection. My selection standards are not that complicated. As a host, I just want to see everyone’s persistence in their dreams! On the road of your dreams, don’t care about the Okaasan in the countryside. Don’t give up. Okaasan has been silently blessing you all! So no matter what you become, it doesn’t matter. As long as you are full of vitality, Okaasan will be satisfied!!”
At this time, only Kawaki noticed that Kyoshiro, who was next to Okaasan, had tears in his eyes…
“I’m touched! It’s so touching!” Gintoki wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and then looked at the members of Dobunezumi Group who had just walked out of the dressing room dressed in suits, “Sons! Impress Okaasan with your steely dream-seeking heart!”
Although he really wanted to curse, Kurogoma Katsuo forced himself not to flare up. Instead, he raised his hand and shouted weakly, “Oh…”
When the other members of Dobunezumi Group saw their boss do this, they also followed suit…

“Then, the first round officially begins!” Just as Gintoki finished speaking, he was kicked over by Kagura.
“Why did you jump over me again? How can I appear? Are you looking down on me-aru?”
…
Looking at the group of Dobunezumi Group members in suits standing on the temporarily built stage, even Kawaki felt a little bit of violation.
“First of all, please ask the judges to score our first contestant, Kurogoma Katsuo!” After Gintoki shouted, the four people on the judging panel all showed their scorecards.
“50 points, 50 points, 100 points, 37 points.” Gintoki murmured, “Except for the perfect score given by Okaasan, the rest all gave scores below the passing line. I wonder if Katsuo-san has an opinion about this score? But judging from his disdainful expression, he should not care about this result at all.”
“Well, I’ll interrupt you for a bit,” Kyoshiro raised his hand and said, “Actually, this gentleman’s external conditions are already very good. The bad temperament of a gangster from the inside out is also very attractive to some guests. However, the long toothpick in his mouth is really… In short, this is it. If he removes the toothpick, I will add ten more points.”
Hachiro also nodded in agreement.
“So that’s how it is,” Gintoki nodded and then looked at Okaasan who gave full marks, “Why would Okaasan give full marks?”
“In Okaasan’s eyes, this child’s looks are full marks!” Okaasan said seriously.
“Woo…” Gintoki was moved, “That’s right, in Okaasan eyes, children’s looks are full marks!”
“Okaasan…you…” Even Katsuo couldn’t help but feel a little moved.

“Oh my, then please invite the next contestant…”
Before he could finish speaking, Kagura rushed down to give him another blow.
“What do you mean by jumping me again?” Kagura shouted, “Why don’t you listen to my opinion?”
“Okay… you say it…” Gintoki said as he wiped the blood off his forehead.
“The 37 points I gave weren’t that simple 37 points.” Kagura crossed her arms and looked proud.
“Could it be that there are other meanings?” Gintoki pretended to be shocked, but then his tone changed, “But we are not interested, so next…”
“At least let me finish, you bastard!” Kagura cursed, and then hugged her hands and said, “This 37 point corresponds to that man’s hairstyle-aru! In other words, it is an impression score! The first impression anyone sees of him is 37 points, that’s why I give this score!”
“There is no meaning at all!” Gintoki cursed and then looked at the next contestant, Bald Head, One-eyed, with a horrifying scar on his blind eye, “Judges, please give a score for this contestant! However, I feel that this contestant will get a very low score…”
As he spoke, Gintoki looked at the judges’ table. They were all 100 points. Gintoki was instantly stunned. He wiped his eyes and asked, “What’s going on? Did my eyes see a double image? I saw 10 points as 100 points”
“No, this person’s temperament is worth this score!” Kyoshiro shook his head and explained, “At first glance, this gentleman looks fierce and scary, but as a senior host, I feel that perhaps he can become a completely different host from the current host! This is a revolution! A new type of host that is completely different from the current host standards!”
Hachiro also nodded in agreement.
“In Okaasan eyes, this child’s appearance is full marks!” Okaasan said again.