Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 60

“Lead Singer of Boy Band [Hansumu]! Goemon’s Hot New Love Revealed! Late Night Date with Idol Tsu Terakado!”

Seita read the newspaper to Kawaki. Kawaki could hear Seita’s voice even with his earplugs on. In the end, he couldn’t take it anymore. He took off his earplugs and snatched the newspaper, tearing it into pieces.

“Why?! Why are you bothering me on such a rest day?!” Kawaki was a little mad.

“It’s all because you are too close-minded, Brother Kawaki. Mom said that it would at least let you understand the current situation. Also, do you think I like to read the news to you? Mom said that she wouldn’t give me any pocket money this month if I don’t do it. Without pocket money, I can’t buy candied haws…”

“Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop,” Kawaki hurriedly stopped Seita’s lengthy speech and reached his hand into his pocket. However, he felt that something was wrong. “Where… Where is my wallet?!!!”

“When you were sleeping, Sister Tsukuyo had already taken your wallet away. Just listen to it and help me…” Seita continued.

“Don’t worry!” Kawaki snorted. He stood up, walked to the door, and looked around. Then he closed the door, walked to the window, and did the same thing. Finally, he sat down and made a gesture to Seita to keep quiet.

Then, he made a behavior that Seita had despised for a long time after this. He saw Kawaki take off his shoes, took out thick insoles from the shoes, and then take out a stack of money with an unknown smell.

“Take it away. I already expected all kinds of accidents. Take it to buy candied haws. Don’t bother me anymore.” As he spoke, Kawaki had already handed the stack of money to Seita.

Seita pinched his nose with one hand and took the money with the other. Although he disliked it, it was still money. ‘What could money do? Money could buy candied haws! What could candied haws do? It could bring happiness to himself! All of this, these stinky banknotes were the happiness of children! Yes, there was nothing wrong with it.’ Seita comforted himself and walked out of Kawaki’s room.

“Ah, the world is finally quiet.” Kawaki nodded with satisfaction. At the same time, he sat in front of the computer and took out the game CD he had just bought from the tatami.

However, just as Kawaki was about to put the CD into the game, his phone rang. Kawaki glanced at the phone screen and saw that it was Yorozuya. Therefore, Kawaki decisively hung up the phone.

However, he did not expect that just as he put the CD in, the phone rang again. Kawaki glanced at it and found that it was still Yorozuya. So, he hung up the phone again.

Just as the screen began to load the game screen, the phone rang again. Kawaki glanced at it and found that it was still Yorozuya. He looked at the game controller and phone in front of him. After 0.01 seconds of thinking, Kawaki decisively chose to turn off the phone and picked up the game controller. The game was still more important. Well, it was really fragrant.

Just as Kawaki entered the game and picked up his favorite AK-47, the door of Kawaki’s room was blasted open. This referred to the door in reality, not the door in the game.

“Hey! You didn’t pick up the phone three times. Are you eating shit?!” Gintoki roared angrily.

“Are you a housewife who complains about her husband who doesn’t come home from get off work and doesn’t answer the phone?” Kawaki said without turning his head.

“That… Kawaki-san…” A familiar girl’s voice sounded.

“Hey, hey, have you finally turned into a pimp when you lack money? Gintoki.” Kawaki said casually, “But I don’t have a single cent right now. Go find Tsukuyo.”

“Who is a pimp! Turn around and take a good look! You bastard!” Gintoki walked up to Kawaki and knocked him down.

Kawaki fell to the ground and found that there was a girl wrapped tightly next to the Yorozuya trio, “Who is this mummy? Did you dig up Cleopatra?”

“Otsuu-chan! This is Otsuu-chan!” Shinpachi, who was wearing Terakado Tsuu’s personal guard attire, reminded from the side.

At the same time, Terakado Tsuu also pulled off her disguise.

“Otsuu-chan?” Kawaki was puzzled, but finally remembered, “Oh, isn’t this Shinpachi’s favorite idol? I’m sorry, I’m blind to women with average figures.”

“Hey, this habit of yours is very strange!” Shinpachi complained.

…

“So, what are you doing here?” Kawaki asked as he sat at the table and looked at the Yorozuya trio and Otsuu-chan.

However, before Otsuu-chan could say anything, Shinpachi had already passed a slip of paper to Kawaki.

“What is this?” Kawaki curiously glanced at the content on the paper, “[Break up with the guy, or I’ll kill you berry much] Shinpachi, did you write this kind of scaring letter without wisdom and taste?”

“How is that possible!”

“Actually, it is…” Otsuu-chan wanted to explain, but Kawaki reached out a hand to stop her.

“Goodbye…” As he spoke, Kawaki had already sent the four of them out of the room.

“Goodbye your ass!” Gintoki kicked open the door again and shouted, “At least you should listen to someone finish talking!”

“This is not a police station! If you want to call the police, you should call 110. Why don’t you call the police if you receive a scare letter?” Kawaki retorted.

“A few letters like this were sent to the office. I was very afraid and went to discuss it with my dad. He said that the two of you would definitely be able to help me…” At this time, Otsuu-chan finally mustered up the courage to say it.

“Oh, that uncle. How is he? Is he okay?” Kawaki finally remembered the uncle who broke out of prison to watch his daughter’s concert.

“Well, after I told him about this, he made a big fuss and said that he will break out of prison…”

“I see.” Kawaki nodded and then looked at Gintoki, “Gintoki, I’ll leave this matter to you!”

“Leave your ass! Help me too!” Gintoki said and dragged Kawaki out the door, “Didn’t you like playing detective games the most before? I’ll let you have enough fun this time!”

“That was a long time ago!” Kawaki shouted, “Right now, I only like FPS GAMES!”

“Who cares about it!” Gintoki replied, “I have to think of a way to solve this before that uncle does anything stupid!”

“Kawaki-san, please!” Shinpachi said from the side.

However, Kawaki saw a trace of loss in Shinpachi’s eyes.

…

Everyone sat down again.

“How many of your fans are suspected of doing this kind of thing?” Kawaki asked.

“I think it might be someone from the same profession. Ever since I received that threatening letter, many strange things have happened around me. For example, my room has been turned upside down. I felt strange gazes behind me in the locker room, or the camera light above my head suddenly fell down and smashed in front of me when I was filming indoors… Normal fans can’t do it at all.” Otsuu-chan analyzed.

After hearing this, the three men present fell into deep thought.

At this moment, Kagura spoke, “Won’t it be fine if you break up-aru?”

Everyone looked over. Kagura ate the snacks on Kawaki’s table while continuing, “Won’t breaking up solve everything perfectly?”

“I don’t want it!” Otsuu-chan replied, “I don’t even want to think about it, he is the only person in the entertainment industry who treats me kindly.”

“Tsk, when a man is cheating on a woman, he will always be gentle! Little girl!” Kagura moved closer to Otsuu-chan and said.

At the same time, Kawaki nodded in agreement.

However, Shinpachi stopped Kagura, who wanted to continue, and said at the same time, “If I can’t lock on the criminal, then I can only protect her! I, Shimura Shinpachi, will protect Otsuu-chan even if I have to sacrifice my life!”

Kawaki was the first to clap. Gintoki was the second.

“Then I’ll leave it to you! Shinpachi!” With that, Kawaki and Gintoki sent Shinpachi and Otsuu-chan out the door.

“Eh!!!!!!!!”

…

“It’s really annoying to play detective games with you on this kind of rest day,” Kawaki complained.

“You obviously look the most motivated! What’s with that outfit?! Is it Conan or Kudo Shinichi?!” Shinpachi whispered in a low voice.

“I am not talented. I am a genius high school detective, Kudou…” Before Kawaki could finish, he was interrupted by Gintoki.

“High school student?” Gintoki sneered, “No, your brain is at most at the second level of junior high school.”

“What did you say?!”

Seeing that the two of them were about to start fighting again, Shinpachi hurriedly stopped them, “Lower your voice! Look over there!”

It was only then that everyone finally looked at Otsuu-chan and that rumored boyfriend not far away.

At this time, everyone was in a corner of the coffee shop, following Otsuu-chan. This was also agreed upon by Otsuu-chan.

“Hey, is that the rumored boyfriend? What’s his name again?” Kawaki asked out of curiosity.

“GOEMON, the leader of the idol team [Hansumu]-aru,” Kagura replied.

“You know it very well. Are you a fan of his?” Gintoki interrupted.

“I am not interested in that kind of thing~. A man’s worth is determined by his [flavor]-aru.”

“It’s so troublesome. The meaning of this name is completely unknown. Calling it [GANGMEN] is easy to understand and very recognizable.” Kawaki said casually.

“Look, they are talking! They are talking!” Kawaki pointed at Goemon and Otsuu-chan not far away.

…

“Otsuu-chan, I think it’d be wise to not see each other for a while,” Goemon said after taking a sip of coffee.

“Why? Goemon-san, I don’t want to!” Hearing this, Otsuu-chan became anxious.

“I don’t want to be apart from you either-gozaru. But it isn’t wise to disappoint our fans too much. I know better than you how valuable, and how frightening, fans can be-gozaru. Let’s give it some time.”

Hearing this, Otsuu-chan showed a sad expression…