Megami Buchigire - Chapter 62

Tokyo.

At the moment, it is the capital of Japan, as well as one of the top metropoles in the world. However, even back during the Edo period, it was already a city on a level hard to find elsewhere in the world. Firstly, the arrangement of the city was extremely orderly. Secondly, it already had a properly working water and sewer system by that time. Thirdly, it was a city designed with feng shui and other mystical concepts1 in mind. So all in all, it was a pretty crazy city.

There’s also that rumor about the Tokyo Government Office being able to transform into a giant robot, but of course that’s just a rumor.

Whichever way you look at it, it’s obviously the main barrel of a Twin Sa*light Cannon.2

“Nyaa.”

“Umu I see. So that’s how it is.”

In such a Tokyo, after the veil of night has fallen.

The person on the roof of a deserted building who is nodding to something is the Duke of Fresh Blood (lol) Grauze-san.

Around him is an astonishingly large number of cats.

It appears that he has slipped into a meetup of the cats that he had employed to keep watch over the city.

An ossan vampire who’s slipped into a cat meetup. You surely won’t find this scene anywhere in the world outside of Japan.

“Nyaa.”

“Is that true? Here I was thinking that I haven’t seen that stall around lately. To think that they’ve moved to that area in front of the station. Well done. Here’s a piece of jerky.”

“Nyaa.”

However, it seems that much of the information that he is receiving is quite trivial.

In spite of that, Grauze-san still makes sure to reward the cat with a stick jerky. He is quite the gentleman towards cats.

But from the side, this scene just looks like an ossan being swamped by a clowder of cats sponging off of him.

“Nyaa.”

“Umu. So there really are problems arising in this city from the influx of foreigners. This bountiful island country tends to raise simple people, but that makes them weak against the influx of alien elements. And there are quite a few who are acting in quite unacceptable ways.”

Grauze-san compartmentalizes himself (otherworlder) while speaking at length about foreigners.

This scene is just begging for a “like you have the right to say that” tsukkomi, but unfortunately the cats do not have sufficient intelligence to fulfill that role.

Incidentally, Japanese people’s lack of resistance, or you might even call it ‘fear’, of foreigners is actually quite deep-seated. The country’s isolationist policies can be said to be a striking illustration of this.

While we’re on the topic, it’s true that there was also quite heavy oppression of Christianity. But the main reason for that was because many of the missionaries of the time were involved in slave trading, and some believers were wrecking shrines and temples and basically doing whatever they wanted.

In short, the final weapon (extreme logic) employed by the Japanese who could not bear foreign tyranny anymore is to entirely close off their borders (go hikikomori).

As expected of the country descended from Amaterasu-sama (hikikomori).

“Nyaa.”

“What?! Street violence against a middle-aged man?! How base of them to snatch away the pocket money of a dad who sheds sweat and tears for the sake of his family! No forgiveness will be granted! Lead the way, cat!”

“Nyaa.”

Hearing of a crime in progress, Grauze-san places the reporting cat on his shoulder and flies off.

So that’s how it became a done deal that tomorrow’s papers would once again be about the Masked Noble Vampire’s conspicuous service.

Today, too, Japan is at peace (working on that right now).

At that time, in Takamagahara.

“Hey, Tsukuyomi. Say ‘On behalf of the moon, I will punish you!’”3

“I absolutely refuse.”

Amaterasu-sama’s request prompted from watching Grauze-san is refused point blank by Tsukuyomi-sama.

The tsukkomi about how Tsukuyomi-sama can’t do something on behalf of the moon because he is the moon is boorish, so it must not be said.

“What and how did you arrive at that idea. It’s true that he’s doing something kind of like that and he’s brought a cat with him, but the all-important hero (heroine) here is a vampire and not a teenage girl.”

” Which means Tsukuyomi needs to contract a cat familiar and turn into a girl.”

“I will not.”

Amaterasu-sama’s eyes are sparkling as she plans out something inside her head, while Tsukuyomi-sama cooly responds to her in his usual calm and yuri-loving self.

Masked Vampire-sama!

“What is with your sudden determination to turn me into a bishoujo warrior anyways?”

“Cus Tsukuyomi’s presence is quite lacking amongst the humans, so I thought it would be a good idea for you to raise your fame (in a meme kind of way) in one shot.”

“Ane-ue? Did I just hear you mutter something in the middle of that comment?”

“I diden say anyshingu~”

Tsukuyomi-sama pinches his sister’s cheeks up and down and every which way until she apologizes with tears in her eyes.

Today, too, Takamagahara is at peace.

1 Feng shui is also known as Chinese geomancy, and is all about ‘using energy forces to harmonize individuals with their surrounding environment’ (Wikipedia). There are also those who say that the layout of Edo was according to certain onmyouji formations or magic circles or whatnot.

2 I spent more than half an hour trying to look this up, but for some reason every single mention censors the exact same letter. Whoever knows the reference, please comment below.

3 A shortened version of Sailor Moon’s popular catchphrase.