My 26-year-old Female Tenant - v2 Chapter 9
Yan Zhuomei’s emotional self-report made me subvert my perception of her. I don’t doubt that she is speaking from the bottom of her heart, but I also understand that this is an emotional card she played. No matter how much Mi Cai can’t let go of her past After all, she is still Mi Cai’s biological mother. When she talked about her motivation for leaving and the past with Mi Zhongxin, Mi Cai couldn’t bear to let her be so lonely…
Seeing the change in Mi Cai’s expression, Yan Zhuomei said to Mi Cai again: “Xiao Cai, my mother can be misunderstood by everyone, but you are my daughter, I really hope you can forgive me for my wrong past and come back Come to my side, okay?”
Mi Cai is silent…
Yan Zhuomei turned to me again and said: “Zhaoyang, I heard that the girl you first fell in love with suffered severe brain trauma due to an accident… This time, I did not return to China alone. The Mayo Clinic in the United States has invited brain experts representing the highest level in the world. They are the authority in the field of research on the restoration of consciousness of vegetative people. What I mean is: there is nothing in this world that is more worthy of respect than life. We must do our best. I will try my best to bring this girl back to life, and I can find a way to transport the medical equipment that is not available in China from the United States, so that she can enjoy the treatment that represents the highest level of medical treatment in the United States.”
I looked at her full of surprises. No wonder she said that I would welcome her back to China. It turned out that she brought such a gift that I couldn’t refuse!
She added: “Although I’m not in China, I know all about what happened in China, and I understand that you will definitely suspect my first love girlfriend’s injury on my head, Yan Zhuomei, but I won’t do that The stupid thing, obviously, is that some clown took the opportunity to pour dirty water on me, as for who it is, I believe you have the ability to find out.”
I frowned and thought about it, but Mi Cai’s face was a bit ugly, and I suddenly remembered that Yan Zhuomei had been emphasizing that Jian Wei was my first girlfriend, and this touched the most sensitive string in Mi Cai’s heart. Seemingly inadvertently, the distance between Mi Cai and me was widened. She naturally controlled our thinking, allowing us to stay in her expression, unable to refute, but to listen.
So, she continued to say to me: “I know you are a young man full of idealism. First of all, I don’t reject idealism. What I hate is to use the name of idealism to escape the cruelty of society, and not to be in the competition. I attribute my failure to my own avoidance… You have to understand that this is a world made up of matter, and we can never live alone without matter, and matter will bring people the safest feeling, just For example: What can your idealism do for the tragedy that your first love girlfriend encountered this time?…However, the material resources I have can allow her to receive the best treatment, and you will not Naively think that those American doctors are angels in the world, full of idealism and compassion… Huh, there are tens of thousands of people waiting for treatment, but there are only a handful of top-level doctors. What they came to China from a long distance is money, I hope you can see all of this… Please stop hurting my daughter and the people around you with your idealism, only leaders are qualified Talking about ideals, as long as their hands sign a document, a city will rise from the ground, thus changing the livelihood of countless people. If you want to talk about ideals, you must first make yourself a leader, otherwise your fantasies will be destroyed. It’s just a pipe dream at best!”
My mood was constantly touched by Yan Zhuomei’s words. I was silent for a long time, and finally raised my head to look at her, and asked, “You have told me so much, what exactly do you want me to do?”
“Giving my daughter a way out is also giving you a way out…I’ll tell you the truth, you’ve never been my ideal son-in-law in my mind, I believe you can give my daughter temporary happiness, but You can’t give her a lifetime of happiness, because I haven’t seen the ability to resist risks in you, and this ever-changing world will not give you a smooth life.”
I felt as if I had been stabbed by a needle in my heart. I just lowered my head and did not refute Yan Zhuomei, because what she said was a truth that I could not refute. It was my easy trust in my friends and the psychology of escaping after encountering setbacks. Only then did Mi Cai lose Zhuo Mei completely, and naively thought that in Xuzhou was the life she wanted to pursue, but she didn’t really live this life well.
Perhaps, letting go is the real love for Mi Cai, she must be exhausted, although I don’t doubt that we are still in love, but many loves let go in exhaustion…
I exhaled lightly, with a sharp knife in my heart, but calmly said to Yan Zhuomei: “If Mi Cai is willing to follow you to the United States this time, I will bless her!”
Mi Cai looked at me… I didn’t avoid her gaze, but also watched her, wanting to engrave her image in my heart and never forget it!
Yan Zhuomei looked at Mi Cai again, waiting for her reply…
Perhaps the answer was already in Mi Cai’s heart, she didn’t struggle too much, she nodded and replied: “I am willing to go back to the United States with you, and live in the United States from now on.”
I don’t know what Yan Zhuomei’s expression is at this moment. I closed my eyes and swallowed in pain. After all, our relationship for nearly two years came to an end in this way. We didn’t quarrel. I believe that after leaving each other, we will get a better life… So, both of us chose to give up this relationship at the age of 28, so the sentence “As long as one of them doesn’t give up, the other The promise that you will not be allowed to give up” no longer exists.
I opened my eyes, Yan Zhuomei had already drank the porridge in the bowl, put down the spoon, and said calmly: “The porridge and steamed buns here are very good, but they are just for memory, but they will no longer be Part of my everyday life, I’m sure you’ll all appreciate me in years to come…you’ll all have a better start!”
It was too far away after a few years, so I didn’t respond to this sentence, but just said to Mi Cai: “Walk with me later, okay?”
“Um.”
…
It was already night when we left the snack street. Yan Zhuomei, who had finally achieved her goal, consciously gave Mi Cai and me enough space. She drove away first, so only Mi Cai and I stood side by side. On the crowded street, we looked at the Zhuomei shopping center that was about to be renamed in tacit understanding, as if our love started here and ended here. None of us could escape the fate that Zhuomei brought us, and Zhuomei did not escape. The fate given to it by God, like our love, it will soon cease to exist!
The world is becoming more and more unreal in the interlacing of street lights and neon lights. Those passers-by passers-by only left images in my heart in a hurry. I felt empty like never before, so I turned around and looked at Mi Cai, said softly: “Can I hold your hand for a walk?”
She didn’t respond to me with words, but she had already held my hand. We walked in unison along the extended street to another block outside Zhuomei. From here, we walked about 10 more stops. We will arrive at the square where we often go for a walk, there is always a paradise for children, their noisy voices often converge into a cheerful song, floating over the city, alerting us adults not to make life too heavy, so , we love that place so much.
There are too many roads in this city, sometimes they are straight lines, sometimes they are curves. We have been walking between these straight lines and curves, and we have seen the bluestone bricks that make up the city wall, the banks of the river, and the boats carrying the scenery. Looking at the tourists on the sidelines, they gathered the essence of the city in their cameras. Perhaps, Mi Cai and I were also in their shots, but when they looked back at these photos, they didn’t know that we were walking on the bank of this river. How sad it is…
We were resting on a bench, and while I was smoking, I was calculating how long it would take to get to that square. Yes, I didn’t want to think about anything other than the distance from here to the square, let alone think about it. Which other woman would make me fall in love so much? I held Mi Cai’s hand tightly and stroked the back of her hand with my thumb. In the temperature of the back of her hand, I felt the carved time.
“Zhaoyang, what do you think of what Yan Zhuomei just said to us?”
“Half acting, half heart…!”
“Whether she’s acting, or coming from her heart, she’s made it, hasn’t she?”
“She is an irrefutable woman. In fact, the most important thing is that I am not good enough, so…”
Mi Cai turned around and looked at me, with a solemn expression, she asked: “Now, do you still believe that there is such a crystal clear city in this world?”
”…believe, but it’s too illusory! Maybe, it’s just a product of the unbearable pain, pinned on the hope of survival.”
The evening wind blew across the moat again, blowing up waves and flowing to the north. Mi Cai remained silent for a long time. She seemed to be judging whether the city was visible or just existed after experiencing so many things. In our anticipation, she finally said to me: “I think there will be such a city, but it is not nothing but crystal clear… Behind the city, there should be a back garden, which grows The colorful flowers and weeds represent our joys, sorrows and joys, and also represent the diversity of living forms… What we need to stick to is the crystal clearness in the depths of our hearts, but we must also know how to appreciate the greatness The grayness and colorfulness of the world… If these are combined, it will be a truly living city!”
It was the first time I heard Mi Cai put forward different opinions on the city I believed in. In her opinions, I used to be paranoid. Because of this paranoia, I was unwilling to accept other forms and pursued The crystal clear purity, but this crystal clear is flawed, because life becomes no suspense, you can see the bottom at a glance, in fact, the best way is to cleanse the soul, stand in that city, look Living in a back garden that has never been conceived, life will be colorful……
It turns out that the city in the sky does not live in the heart. It should be allowed to fly to the sky to see compatibility, open-mindedness and openness… The city in the sky is not just for yourself, because it is not a city that represents loneliness , it contains time and life, and it is an open city that can guide people. Whether it is a good person or an evil person, they are just flowers and trees in the back garden. We are bathed in that crystal light. Repent and perish… It is the core of this world, the embodiment of human nature, and the law that life should abide by.
With the evening wind blowing, I told Mi Cai my thoughts, and I finally saw some smiles on her face. She leaned in my arms and said softly, “Yang, I have to go to America. But this doesn’t mean we have to pay the price of the end… Yan Zhuomei is always my mother, she said these words to us from the heart, but I also know her intentions, she wants Let me go to the United States, and then persuade me little by little, transform me, let me marry and have children there!”
“I know, so she has kept Wei Ran by her side all the time, and they are all waiting for you to go to America.”
Mi Cai nodded: “Well… yesterday in the hospital, Jian Boyu touched me too much, some things have passed for so many years, Yan Zhuomei and I should calm down and face up to the mother-daughter relationship between us I don’t want one day, we embarked on the old road that Jianwei’s family is walking, and then we wake up, it’s too painful!…Actually, I’ve wanted to call her mother for so many years, but I can’t open my mouth… Also, I went to the United States, so she will do my best to help Jian Wei. I hope to see the day when Jian Wei wakes up… I am also afraid of those bad things What happened to her is really what she did, if I insist on not leaving, there will be more tragedies…so, I really want to leave!”
“I understand you!”
“Remember the promise we made to each other?”
”As long as one of them doesn’t give up, the other one is not allowed to give up!”
“Now I’m going to tell you that I won’t give up…will you keep this promise?”
I stared at her, my heart was ashamed at the last moment, but at this moment she brought me back to life, I couldn’t speak for a long time!
Mi Cai sighed: “You are still the same, always so inferior in front of me, and always give me the initiative of love, don’t you have the confidence to fight for it once? Or, you are so great that you can use your own pain to go Fulfill the happiness that Yan Zhuomei gave me?” She said and took out the necklace with the sailboat pendant that I gave her from her lapel.
“I…” My nose is a little sour.
She took my hands and said softly: “I heard that there is a Mochou Road in Nanjing, let’s go there for a walk, I have something to tell you, and then we will say goodbye on the Mochou Road… No one should worry about this parting!”
She smiled again, as if she was talking to herself: “Mochou, Mochou…no matter how difficult the future is, don’t worry, Mochou…”