My Beloved Oppressor - Chapter 112

She had heard the voice countless times, but once again it seemed unfamiliar. But it was by no means unfamiliar in a negative sense.

They were getting to know each other a little better every day. Even though they had spent two years together as lovers and four years as husband and wife, it was as if they were starting anew from the beginning.

“This is Annette.”

[—- you haven’t slept yet?]

“Thinking about you.”

[Is this a lie again?]

“It’s true this time.”

He was silent for a moment. Annette wished she could see the expression on his face now.

She wondered for a moment what to say. In fact, Heiner must have already been aware of the fact that the article about him had been published. Or why she had called him at this time of night. Then………

[I’m sorry.]

Annette stopped at the sudden apology. She asked in a soft tone.

“Why are you apologizing all of a sudden?”

[I didn’t tell you in advance that I was injured.]

“Yes, I found out this morning. I saw it in the newspaper.”

[Your voice is kind, but the content is confusing, like it isn’t.]

He sounded a little depressed somehow. To which Annette gave a faint laugh.

“Actually, I was a little upset. I felt like I was always hearing about you in the newspapers. Like when you were shot in Huntingham. Besides, you never replied to my letters.”

[Annette, you know in Huntingham, at that time I didn’t intend to see you anymore. I was going to let you go. I didn’t think there was a need to let you know my situation…]

“Then why didn’t you respond to my letters?”

[………… because I wasn’t sure of anything at the time.]

“But you could have told me how you were and if you were safe.”

[Annette, if you’re angry, be angry. It’s even scarier when you say it like that.]

“I am not trying to be angry.”

[Lie.]

“Really.”

A small sigh was heard. He seemed genuinely troubled.

“It’s true I got a little angry when I read the paper, but I’m not angry now. Really.”

[No, Annette, you can be angry.]

“You act like someone who just wants me to be angry.”

[Because I think that would be better…]

“Heiner, we have virtually nothing to do with each other and you are under no obligation to tell me everything. So you don’t have to be sorry.”

Her words sounded cold at first glance, even if she did not want him to feel sorry. Annette concluded matter-of-factly.

“If you want to tell me that much, I suppose that’s as far as we go.”

[I didn’t say that because I thought we had gone that far. Annette, I just…]

The end of his words became slightly slurred. His hesitation seemed to be transmitted over the phone line. After hesitating for a moment, Heiner finally spoke up.

He explained everything from his current condition to his uncertain predictions for the future, including the fact that if his hearing were to deteriorate further, in the worst case scenario, he could lose it forever.

Annette’s hands trembled thinly as she listened. She gently bit her lips.

After reading the article, she had expected his hearing to be a problem. But she didn’t know it was this bad.

Until the last time they had met they had conversed without great difficulty. He had concentrated on reading her lips and occasionally questioned her back, but not to the point where it seemed too strange.

“You hid this from me……”

The end of her voice cracked slightly. Annette cleared her throat once and continued speaking.

“Because you thought I would leave you if I found out?”

[…………more than that.]

“More than that?”

[I was afraid you won’t leave because of that.]

Annette choked on her words at the unexpected answer.

[As I said, I can’t assure you of my future condition. Even if I’m okay now because I can manage my daily life, what if my condition worsens later? What if you still remain by my side………]

The wording went up and down gradually, as if he was trembling. Heiner almost cried.

[Annette, I can let you go from me, but I can’t stop you from coming to me. Just as you did at the Portsman Hospital. That is the limit of my patience.]

“….”

[I can’t refuse you, you know that.]

His voice sounded somewhat bitter.

Annette suddenly remembered their marriage. The many nights she went to his bedroom with foolish hopes, and he had never rejected her once.

[I don’t want to make you unhappy anymore because of me.]

His words sounded as if he himself were unhappy.

Annette stared blankly ahead and slowly dropped her head. Only one yellow light was on in the dark house, illuminating the woman with the phone.

The sound of waves crashing in the wind drifted through the open window. For a moment they said nothing. The silence dried up like a dry sandy beach.

After a while, Annette parted her lips.

“……………You said you couldn’t come to my composition presentation, right?”

Her composition presentation was on February 27. However, he had to inform her that he wouldn’t be able to attend because of the overlap between the presentation and the major meeting schedule.

Heiner was terribly sad and apologetic, but Annette sincerely didn’t mind. It was a small, not famous presentation anyway. She only attached significance to the fact that it was the first time she was officially presenting a piece of music.

[Yes. But I ordered a bouquet of flowers for you….]

“Not necessary. Instead, if you have some time in March… Can you stop by Santa Molly’s for a minute?”

Heiner did not readily answer, as if he was trying to guess her intentions. After a few seconds, he replied in a suppressed voice like he was trying to hide his anxiety.

[I will.]

Only then did Annette let out a light sigh as the tension finally dissipated.

“Very well. Then I’ll see you in March.”

“Are you going to hang up—-]?

“I have to stop. It’s too late.”

[It’s not even midnight yet.]

“Normal people go to bed before midnight.”

[I don’t.]

It seemed they had had this conversation before. It was when he pointed out her habit of playing with her food.

“It’s a wonder you get up so early. But I am not as strong as you. I am tired.”

[・・・・・tired?]

“I am tired.”

[Then it can’t be helped.]

Heiner spoke ruefully.

[Good night, Annette.]

His voice, transmitted through the receiver, sounded especially clear in the dark silence. Annette replied with a faint smile.

“……Good night to you too.”

***

Time passed quickly and it was nearing the end of February while Annette concentrated on perfecting her song for the competition. Throughout the winter, Annette lived in music.

So much so that Ryan, concerned about whether she was alive or dead, visited her to check on her.

When her mind was overly complicated or her heart felt stuffy while working, Annette came out to the cliff and watched the sea, taking in the breeze.

She loved the moment when the waves crashed against the cliff. Watching it, she felt as if something frozen inside her was melting away.

No matter how rough the waves were, they were not worn away. She liked that.

The sunset swallowed the cliffs of Sunset Cliff each day and repeatedly disappeared beyond the horizon. Exactly that many dates had passed.

Then, on February 27, Annette presented a piano etude at the Bauer Composition Presentation. The piece had no subtitle.

Her piece was a C minor etude for right hand arpeggio. The score looked simple at first glance, but there were quite a few complicated technical orders.

The overall mood of the piece was somber. However, it ended with Picardy cadence (Tierce de Picardie) in the major key, which left a strange sense of hope and lingering emotion.

The relevant composition presentation was only a small presentation for new composers. However, Annette’s first piece became a hot topic.

Partly because of the frank and low-key interest that followed the name Annette Rosenberg, but also because of the buzz about the piece itself.

Her piece, composed mostly of arpeggios, was praised for being a good piece for legato practice.

Many also commented that despite being an etude, the tonality was very beautiful, and that they would like to hear her play it again at a slower tempo in a lyrical performance.

Annette did not give the songs titles, but treated all of them as numbers. Her songs were nicknamed “Etude for Forging” or “Winter Waves.”

In addition, Felix Kafka, a pianist and music critic, recently gave a short assessment of her songs, calling them ‘the aesthetic of a pianist’s sensibility’.

After the composition presentation, Annette received a large bouquet of roses with a congratulatory card. The flowers were as red and vibrant as those in the rose garden at the Rosenberg residence.

Time flowed like a stream. The sun stayed on the cliff longer and longer.

In March, the last winter wind crossed the seasonal page.

***