My Half Is Unknown - Volume 1 Chapter 34 34..no Peace
Before sleeping I decided to text Edward still confused about what is this compassion as said by Zen.
“Thank you for coming today it means a lot to me by the way Edward what is compassion to you?? ”
I texted him and proceeded towards night time routine.
After I returned i saw his reply and immediately opened it
“Intresting question…I didn’t knew the meaning of this word until i met you.Your compassion is the bridge, it just took time to trust my weight to it. You extended your hand and stayed while I showed you the scars, the mess, the fear. You let me come close, let me hide, let me return without shame. Every time I thought you’d had enough there was only patience I never felt I’d earned. I never wanted to be this way…i have pride. I need to be seen as strong, though I haven’t been and am still so far from achieving. True healing takes time, there are no magic wands for deep pain. I’m going to try to be reliable, no promises, but you know me by now, my word means something.You only know my true self Bella that is my compassion for you.There is something about giving of yourself that makes your heart burn all the brighter and ignites your soul..that’s not a common gift, my love – yet it is yours.I am yours that is my compassion for you… “.
This man!!!! his words always have the bit of innocence, affection and elegance that makes my heart skip a beat.
I walked towards the window having my eyes locked at the beautiful night sky and realizing the fact that compassion wasn’t something they could teach you in medical school. You either had it or you didn’t, and I can’t say it was an advantage either. I envied those that didn’t connect with the pain they saw every day, it was easier for them. It was all I could do not to turn to drink. My mother always said my empathy would make me great at this, but the further I get into it the less sure I am. How can I deal with these feelings? I can feel my skin growing a little thicker every day, my empathy shrinking to something you could more accurately describe as professional concern, but is that really compassion? Is it still me?
The choices before me Edward or Zen.
A new day and the worst one as tonight is the dinner.I had a holiday today and I woke up extremely tired.. With dragging myself up from the bed I reached the coffee table somehow and brew myself some fresh coffee and choose the plain black cup and sipped my coffee
“Divine!”
as I heard someone shout out loud and I was shocked… And burned my tongue..
“Oh my godddddd… Honey you look a disaster… !!!!! .My daughter don’t worry I will make you an appointment godddddd just leave the books for a minute and work on yourself a little……you are making injustice to my hard work and that dress.Honey !!! that dress is not gonna look good with that tired face and what about your hair and your nails…?!!!! ”
My dad as usual and this time I was mad because I burnt my tongue and it hurt!!!!
“Dad a very good morning to you too… Seems like I can’t have a good holiday so I will agree to you”
I knew that arguing with dad would only make this condition worse so I simply agreed and went to brush my teeth and wash my face and I realised this thing a long time ago that the glow was slowly fading away maybe it was time to give myself a makeover!…
I went with some high waisted black denim shorts with an oversized Hoddie covering my hair since it was a bad hair day… And took my keys and my bag and drove towards my uncle’s Saloon the only place my dad allows me to go for these things..
I drive my car there and streched one more time with a full plan that I would have a nice peaceful sleep and hear some nice songs while the spa… And walk out but guess what !…I guess god can never give me a normal peaceful day..
I see Zen and Sophia drive in front of the parlour of course it did not bother me but he seemed to be bothered…
Sophia was constantly irritating Zen but started more once she spotted me “Oh honey you have a holiday and you are spending it with me…. Thank you sweetie!!! “.Zen pushed her away as usual scolded her for being an embarrassment ” You are crazy…. Go away if it weren’t for my dad who will want to even see you !!!!”…
I thought maybe greeting them would reduce the awkwardness so I walked forward and Zen spotted me and Sophia she realized earlier that is why her soap opera began…
Once again