My Navy Seal II: Undeniable Attraction - Chapter 79

KIM

It is the middle of the night and we are both very much exhausted. I just woke up to check if Nick is really lying next to me but then he was staring at me. Without warning, he said that he doesn’t want to be a Navy Seal anymore. He’s not looking at me and it is as if he is still deciding whether he wants to or not.

“Nick, look at me and say that again”

I need to know if he is just throwing out ideas to think aloud or if he is serious about what he is saying.

NICK

I understand why Kim wants me to look into her eyes because when I said those words aloud even I was not sure what I was saying. All I ever wanted to be was a Navy Seal and now I’m saying that I do not want to be one anymore. I do not know how to explain what I am feeling.

It is just as if I have my mother back and I have this beautiful woman in my life and I just don’t see any reason for risking my own life anymore. It is as if I have lost my reason for doing what I’m doing. I turn to her and say with every confidence.

“I really do not want to be a Navy Seal anymore. I just want to be a normal guy living a beautiful life with you”

KIM

I am trying to see the truth behind his words and I can see it loud and clear. It seems like it’s not something that came lightly to him but something he is very serious about. If he wants a normal life with me that would mean that I should get out of serving my country too.

I almost feel relieved when he says those words. I do not want to worry like I have worried these last couple of days about him. But I also do not want to take away the thing that he loves the most and now he’s saying that he doesn’t want to do that thing anymore. I do not know if I should show him my happiness or should I argue for him to stay.

“But you are so good at what you do. Why would you give that up?”

NICK

I know that she feels the same way that I do. She does not want to be the cause of me regretting later on in life that I didn’t stay. But that is where she is wrong. This is not something that I will regret in my life. I did what I needed to do and now it is time to be the man that I need to be.

“I would lie if I say that I would not miss it but I have done my duty for this country. You have made me happier in these few months that we knew each other than my entire career that I was a Navy Seal”

KIM

I get why he is saying that he is happy now that is with me but I do not want to be the reason that he decides to leave the Navy Seals.

“Yes, but you know that you can have the Navy Seals and me?”

I feel him holding my hand and then he says without even blinking.

“It was never a choice between you and being a Navy Seal. I know that you will take me while I am a Navy Seal but I do not have the desire anymore. The desire for you has surpassed the adrenaline rush that I get when I go out and protect my country. Don’t you see that you are now my adrenaline rush?”

Even though I haven’t had a lot of men in my life, no one has ever told me anything like this before. I can see the seriousness in his eyes and I know that he is not just saying words but that he has been thinking about this for quite some time.

I can not help but give him a kiss and make sure that he understands that I love him.

“Are you sure you want to quit all this?”

“I haven’t been more sure about anything except asking you to marry me that I really want to do this. I do not want to leave your side again and I have no desire to go out somewhere fighting someone’s battle”

“You do not know how happy that makes me”

I pull him in for another kiss and I make sure that he knows how I feel.

NICK

I am happy to hear that she is happy that I want to leave but there is a burning question that I need an answer to.

“I have a question for you”

“I am listening”

“What do you want to do? Do you want to stay or do you want to go back home?”

I guess he has the right to ask that question because we said when we come back then we going to get married. I came to help the Navy Seals because I thought there was something missing in my life. I hope that if I serve our country then I would get that empty feeling filled.

But what happened instead is I met the love of my life and I never really realized that it was what I was looking for. That empty feeling that I had inside me was that of a missing partner. Someone who understands me for me and wanted me as bad as I wanted them.

Now that I have met Nick, I have no desire to go out on deployment. My only desire right now is to be next to Nick and have his babies. No one else can give me what Nick is giving me now.

Just laying in his arms right now is enough for me in life. It sounds like I do not need much but Nick is such a perfect match for me that he does not need to do much to make me happy. Just knowing that he is alive is enough.

“If you are going away and you are not going to serve anymore then I have no desire to serve without you”

NICK

I was afraid that she might say that. I am afraid that she might want to quit because I quit. I do not want her to give up a dream that I have had time to fulfill.

“Kim, I need you to listen to me. I do not want you to give up your dream because I decided that I had enough. I want you to make this choice by yourself not because of me. Just as you do not want to be the cause of my decision, I do not want to be the cause of your decision”

“Then I think you did not understand when I said that I do not want to serve if you do not want to serve. What I meant to say is that you are my world and how can I live if you are not in my world?”

I have no words to what she has to say. She has once again changed my entire way of thinking. I understand what she is saying and that is exactly how I feel. I smile and then I look at her.

“Then, I guess, there is just one question left”

“And what is that?”

“Kim McPherson, will you quit the Navy Seals with me?”

I can see her smile and then she gives me a kiss. She pulls away and then she says.

“I will be happy to”

KIM

Why is it that I suddenly feel like a little girl who’s going to get a ride on her new pony? I am so happy that we are going to quit the Navy Seals. We are going to get married and start a wonderful life together. There is nothing else that I am more excited about than this.

I know that it might be very hard to quit but when all this is done we are going to be so happy. I do not know what we going to do after this but I am sure we can figure out something. I can not stop myself from giving him a kiss again and then I cozy up in his arms.

We need to get him healthy and then we are going to have to face the music together. I will not let him quit by himself and I am sure that he will not let me do it alone either. We are now officially together in this quitting process and I am extremely happy.

I know I have to close my eyes and sleep but for some reason, I just can not get all the thoughts out of my mind. I want to think about my wedding and about where we going to live and about what we are going to do. I do not have time to sleep.