My Room Has Become a Dungeon's Rest Area (LN) - Book 3: Chapter 1: (6)

I opened the door. The stone wall was replaced by a wall covered with grey wallpaper, and when I pressed the button, fluorescent lights came on.

「And we’re back! There’s no place like home.」

That’s what you’re supposed to say when you’ve returned home from a trip.

It had never been more fitting than it was now, as we came back from the other world.

「Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what is this place? A hole suddenly opened up in the stone wall!?! Wh-wh-what’s going on???」

Miri’s eyes were like saucers.

It would have been a pain to stand there and explain everything, so I pushed Miri into the room.

「Never mind that. Come on in.」

♦︎ ♦︎ ♦︎

When Miri – fresh from her bath, and drinking a cola – had finished listening to my explanation, she was completely flabbergasted.

Incidentally, I was still wearing Shizuku as armour. I hadn’t bathed yet. I had just listened to Ria and Deet’s chattering and giggling and Miri’s surprised voice echoing around the bathroom.

「You mustn’t tell anyone about this place. It’s where I come to relax.」

Deet had gone ahead and decided that my apartment was somewhere for her to relax.

「I won’t tell anyone. Even if I did, no- one would believe me.」

「Promise me. If word gets out, I’ll come after you.」

「Okay, okay, I get it! Persistent, aren’t you?」

I stepped in before the two of them could start arguing.

「In other words, I belong to another world. In this world, we don’t have magic, but our civilisation is more advanced.」

「So that’s what was going on. I thought you were weird, Thor, but now I get it.」

「That’s why we’d like to hire that room that’s connected to the first level. If possible, we’d like to have exclusive use of it.」

Miri shut her eyes and thought about it. After a while, she said, 「Hmm, I see. I’ll ask the boss, and make sure I conceal the real reason for it.」

「No, I’ll negotiate directly with the boss.」

「Huh?」

「I told her I’d come and let her know when we got Nick and Mary to the orphanage.」

♦︎ ♦︎ ♦︎

As on the previous occasion, the boss of the Thieves’ Guild, the second-generation Dorothea, received us through a thin curtain.

Her sexy silhouette lay stretched out on the bed.

Unlike Miri, she had huge breasts.

Incidentally, we were able to get to both the fifth level and the first level from the entryway to my apartment block. If I held on to the key and thought I want to go to the first level, we would come out on the first level; if I thought I want to go to the fifth level, we would come out on the fifth level.

My apartment block’s as mysterious as ever.

It took us less than an hour to get from the iron-doored room on the first floor to the Thieves’ Guild.

「The leader thanks you for escorting Nick and Mary to the orphanage on the surface.」

As before, the leader spoke to us through Noela rather than speaking herself.

「Not at all. I promised to give the two of them a safe environment to grow up in. The thing is, the orphanage is in serious financial difficulties.」

「Huh?」

Ria was shocked by what I’d said.

I bet Director Ryze hasn’t told her just how serious the situation is. If it’s not said in the right way, Ria will go off on missions that are even more high-risk, high-return.

「In order to improve the financial situation of the orphanage, I would like to ask the Thieves’ Guild for their support. First of all, could you loan us one of the rooms with iron doors?」

「Are you going to conduct some sort of business?」

At once, Noela’s face became stern.

「I’m not asking you to hire it out to us for free. We can offer you compensation.」

「Compensation?」

「I’d like to talk to the leader about that by myself. Could you leave the two of us alone?」

My suggestion surprised not only Noela but also Ria and Deet.

「That’s not possible. Huh?」

Noela refused, but the leader seemed to say something to her from behind the curtain.

They argued for a while, then Noela gave in and said, 「The leader has deemed it acceptable for you to speak to her alone, Master Thor. However, as the leader is unable to speak, the conversation will be one-way only. Is that all right with you?」

「Yes.」

「Understood. Well, we’ll be outside the room, so please come out when you’re done.」

Noela led Ria and a complaining Deet out of the room.

That left only me and the leader behind the curtain, who did not make a single sound.

「Phew. You can come out now.」

I walked over from the sofa facing the leader and stood in front of the curtain.

The leader’s silhouette moved further back on the bed.

「I already know who you are.」

The silhouette stiffened at my words. Her breasts rolled down her chest and fell to the ground with a thunk.

One of them rolled out from under the curtain. It was a plump melon.

A pretty white hand emerged through a gap in the curtain.

When I caught hold of the hand, it pulled me through the curtain and onto the bed with powerful force.

「When did you work it out?」

Before me was a beautiful golden-haired, cat-eyed girl. Unhappy tears welled up in her eyes.

「I was convinced it was you when you left before the announcement, Miri. You came with us to the orphanage, so you should have been there.」

And Miri belongs to the Guild, so this means we didn’t even lie to their leader.

「You’re right.」

「I actually wondered if it was you from the first meeting.」

「You did?」

「Having an interest in redeveloping the Thieves’ Guild district… The leader not speaking… You not being there for the first meeting… There were plenty of signs.」

I can’t tell her that what really clinched it for me was Miri being happy when I said that the leader was sexy and getting angry when I said her breasts were big.

「So you saw through me, Thor? You might already know this, but…」

Miri began to tell me her life story.

The legendary thief Dorothea (the first of her name) had many lovers, and she became pregnant by one of them with a half-human, half-animal child. The child who was born was Miri.

Dorothea continued to operate as a phantom thief for ten years after that. However, she was a heavy drinker, and died young because of it.

「In public, Mum kept it a secret that I was her daughter, and acted as if I was her colleague in the Thieves’ Guild. Noela, who was Mum’s best friend, was able to use this to turn me into the mysterious ‘second-generation Dorothea’ and keep the organisation going.」

I see. I didn’t know anything about that. But of course I made it look like I already knew all this as I listened to what she was saying.

There was just one thing that I wanted to ask her, whatever it took.

「But why’d you use melons to pretend you had an enormous rack?」

「Because Mum’s breasts were huge!」

When Miri was agitated, she switched from using masculine language to speaking in a more feminine way.

「It’s because Dad was half-human, half-animal. That’s why I’m so flat-chested!」

Something occurred to me suddenly.

「Huh? So the reason you think humans hate cat people is because of that?!」

「Yes! All that the guys in the Guild talk about is women’s breasts!」

「Pfft.」

I accidentally let out a laugh. Besides, it’s not even like she’s as flat-chested as she says she is.

Just as I was thinking that, Miri asked me angrily, 「What’ll you give us in compensation for letting you use the room with the iron door?」

She said it so abruptly that for a second I didn’t know what she was on about.

「Well, I’ll share my knowledge from Japan with you so that the Thieves’ Guild can develop, of course. I think the redevelopment of the underground district will go really well.」

It wouldn’t be easy, but the work would be rewarding and enjoyable.

I want to earn money quickly and save the orphanage.

「It’s got to be more than that. We don’t know whether it’ll succeed or not.」

「Huh? I mean, I suppose so… Well, what else do you want? I can’t give you much, you know.」

「Treat me the same as you treat Ria and the others.」

I see. I bet what she means by that is ‘let me come into your apartment any time’.

I could give Miri a key too, I guess. Hmm.

「Okay, I understand. However…」

What I was going to say was 「Make sure you keep the secret of my apartment to yourself, Miri.」

「Really?! Then you can start right now.」

For some reason, she grabbed my hand and put it on her chest.

「Whaaaat?!」

「I know there’s nothing there compared to Ria and Deet, but…」

S-seriously?!

「When I said I’d treat you the same as Ria and the others……」

「You meant as a wife, right? I’m an adult now, and it’s the right season for half-human half-animals… And I wanna have offspring for the sake of the Guild.」

‘Season’? ‘Offspring’? What’s accepted practice for half-human half-animals doesn’t quite match up with human social etiquette…

It’s not that. She’s misunderstood Ria and Deet. They’re not my wives.

But my right hand continued unconsciously rubbing the bulges of flesh on the upper part of her beautiful, well-proportioned body.

Miri looked down, clearly enjoying it.

「N-no! This way, if we end up fucking, my kid will go on to take over the Thieves’ Guild!」

Mustering my last remaining powers of reasoning, I ripped my right hand forcibly away from her chest.

Realising what I’d done, Miri looked up at me tearfully.

「Thor…… Why did you stop? Do you hate half-human half-animals after all?」

Oof. But that doesn’t change anything – Ria and Deet aren’t actually my wives.

Even if she cried, I’d just have to put up with it.

All right! I managed to put up with it somehow! I thought, but there was one part of me that hadn’t endured it at all.

「Master, I’m frightened!」

「Ack! Shizuku!」

「Wh-what? Where’s that voice coming from?」

My ‘Shizuku armour’ turned back into its slime form and slipped away.

「Whaaaat?! A white slime?!」

I took advantage of Miri’s shock to try and cover my front with the sheet from off the bed, but she caught hold of both my arms.

「What the…… Thor…… Pretty eager, aren’t you?」

「No, I’m not! You’ve got it all wrong! Ria and Deet aren’t…!」

At that moment, the curtain opened with a swish.

Noela, Ria and Deet were standing there, stock-still.

「Oh, hello, my fellow wives. From today, I’m going to be Thor’s wife, too, so please be nice to me! And Noela, you don’t need to worry about heirs any more.」

「No. Miri’s just mistaken. She’s misunderstood just about everything.」

After being mobbed by everyone, I was finally able to return to my normal state.

Shizuku, whom I’d frightened off, came back at last. She had seen what had happened from start to finish, so with her explaining, I was just about able to settle the matter.

Now I had a new problem, but in return, I had also gained a new friend.

♦︎ ♦︎ ♦︎

Ria, Deet and Miri were defeated by the overpowered magic of Count Ateu Maddes, who had sold his soul to Satan.

「Ha ha ha! What weaklings you are. But it would be a shame to kill adventurers as beautiful as you. So instead I’ll keep you tied up in my underground prison as my slaves for the rest of your lives!」

That’s when my latent unique skill that had hidden itself until this moment awoke.

This was「Heroes’ Revival」, which only activated once everyone’s [Stamina] was down to single digits – in other words, when they were on the verge of death.

「Ha ha ha! Wh-what’s this? Why do I feel this absurd power coming from the man who was the first to fall? Th-this can’t be happening!」Count Ateu Maddes shouted, turning pale as he looked at me.

「T-time to use my Person Appraisal skill. His status is……」

[Name] Suzuki Tooru

[Race] Son of God

[Age] 21

[Occupation] Unemployed

[Level] ∞/∞

[Stamina] ∞/∞

[Magic] ∞/∞

[Attack] ∞

[Defence] ∞

[Strength] ∞

[Wisdom] ∞

[Agility] ∞

[Skills] Growth Limit Break All Appraisals Level ∞ All Sword Skills Level ∞ All Magic Level ∞

If user is female, they will draw these powers from a goddess

「Heroes’ Revival」 (active)

「Acccccckkkkkk! What’s with this status?」

「Heroes’ Revival is a skill that allows me to protect the people I love! You’re gonna regret hurting everyone and pissing me off!」

「Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!」

Using my holy sword, I cut Count Ateu Maddes into pieces – into tiny pieces.

「It’s okay now!」I called out gently to the others.

「I n-never knew you were so strong, Sir Thor! You’re a hundred times – no, a hundred thousand times – stronger than me, and I’m a knight!」

Ria looked up at me as if I were an object of worship.

「H-hmph! Well, I suppose you were quite cool. Can I stay with you for the rest of my life? Using this potion of perennial youth that Count Ateu Maddes accidentally dropped…… You can stay with me for my whole lifespan!」

Deet had really honed her hot-cold personality.

「Thor, you could save not just everyone in the Thieves’ Guild, but the whole world……!」

That’s an exaggeration, Miri.

「Of course Shizuku’s master is the best!」

Shizuku climbed onto my face and wobbled happily. Jigglejigglejigglejiggle…

「Ha ha ha……」I mumbled. 「Shizuku, you’re jiggling too much. All that bouncing…… It kinda hurts.」

Th-this is painful. I can’t breathe……

I opened my eyes and saw part of the ceiling of the Japanese-style room.

A d-dream?

Unfortunately, the adventure I’d just been on was nothing but a dream. I suppose that’s obvious.

「But what’s this? This bouncing navy-blue thing covering my face?!」

The thing pressing on my face, making it difficult to breathe and obscuring my vision, was someone’s bloomers-clad behind.

These muscular yet plump buttocks must be Ria’s. These ones springing back gently against the constraints of the gym shorts must be Deet’s, and these healthy, athletic ones must be Miri’s.

The bare white legs protruding from the gym shorts were intertwined. Shizuku was also in there.

Come to think of it, I laid out the futon in the Japanese-style room last night and went to sleep with everyone.

「Guys, you’re tossing and turning too much…… Are you trying to besiege and crush me to death with your gym shorts?」

The siege-and-crush formation of bouncing bloomer-clad buttocks and jiggling slime pressed on my face from above and below, left and right.

At this rate, I would suffocate in five seconds.

First, I jostled the plumply-filled gym shorts that were pressing against my face the most.

「H-huh? Wasshappening? I was sleeping so comfortably – eeeek!」

The others all tumbled off the futon at the sound of Deet’s adorable scream.

「Whew!」

Finally, I could breathe normally.

Huh? I realised that the six bare legs protruding from the pairs of gym shorts had struck daunting poses.

「Thor!」

「What’s happening?」

For some reason I was being forced to kneel down.

「Sir Thor! Please touch us all equally!」

「Hmph! If you want to touch me, say it. Come on……」

「If you’re going to touch my butt, you’ll have to do it when we’re alone!」

「I’m s-sorry! Master’s sins are Shizuku’s sins…」

Guys, isn’t what you’re all saying kinda weird?

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