My Self Insert Stash - Volume 2: The Enlightenment Arc Chapter 154 My Si Stash 54 We Need More Paper By Socialistbukharin Re:zero
-Here’s a SI Re:Zero fic, as the Season 2 of Re:Zero is approaching~ (airs on April 2020)
*SI as the Mayor of Erindor~ Check it out!
Sypnosis: Summoned in Lugnica? Check. No RtD and Witch trying to kill me? Check. Being ushered to become an entire city’s mayor? Che- Wait, what? Indeed, it would seem that this esteemed member of society had been yanked into a glorified desk job. It is expected to keep a low profile but… we are in another world where peace is a short abstraction and shenanigans ensue pretty quickly.
Rated: T
Words: 46K
Posted on: m.fanfiction.net/s/13329963/1/ (SocialistBukharin)
PS: If you’re not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can’t copy links on mobile ()
-I’ll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan’t more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)
Chapter 0+1
Erindor, Lugnica, 422 APF (After Flugel’s Passing)
I should seriously stop listening people and their life advices.
Twenty minutes of whining from my sister, as she went on some verbal crusade to glorify the need to have some trip to the countryside once in a while to get some fresh air compared to the polluted one of the city, wouldn’t have been enough to force me out from my pleasantly comfy chair and away from the computer in a normal situation.
But I had been quite happy for job-related reasons and I was less prone to reject the very dislikeable idea as I had just started my summer holidays.
Plus by doing a trip this early on the period of three months I was going to enjoy away from work, I would have a good excuse to skip any other silly proposal from my foolishly extrovert sibling.
Preparing my stuff for the short trip was a simple thing, having always kept some old schoolbags around that I would generally use as a backpack for ‘natural trips’ and having already gone camping once in the recent past: A pair of toothbrushes, several tubes of toothpaste, an indefinite number of snacks for quick meals, two pairs of clothes and a First Aid Kit.
…Okay maybe I should have packed a lot more, but I was kind of expecting this all to last about one or two days, just enough for my sister to accept the fact I was doing all of this ‘against my will’.
My plans were foolproof against conventional issues… but were quite inefficient to deal supernatural threats.
An hour or so after delving deeper in the small forest few kilometers away from my hometown, I was ready to set up my newly-bought tent in the nice spot I had found. The ground was flat and the trees weren’t as dense as the other areas I had explored until now, thus I decided to pick this section of the forest.
And now I have to bring everything to a halt as I think the following part of this ridiculous tale is surely going to make some head twirls at the insanity that is there to unravel before my eyes.
I am a very scrawny dude, doing some physical exercises once in a while and eating moderately for the sake of keeping up with my lacking training regime. I was also average height-wise, 5’8 being the prime result of years of… lazying around.
I have also never experienced much violence, maybe getting bullied once or twice by the stereotypical kid bully that is always there in elementary schools, so I was pretty much useless in fighting.
Now imagine my reaction, a simple young man trying to set up a camp, blinking away from the natural reality that was the forest and finding myself in the craziest pickle ever.
I blinked again, this time my eyes moving to look around the enclosed space I was now in. The first thing that jumped to my attention was the material used to make the room, if not the entire building.
It was stone, no visible cement between the pieces of rock. Actually those looked ot have been worked to fit best in the carefully-studied pattern to keep it all up and not crumbling on everyone’s head.
There was a large tapestry hanging from one of the walls, showing several human-like individuals and… a dragon(?) facing off something darkened in the cloth.
The furnitures were of simple wood, but having seen too much IKEA in my life, I knew that those were all made by craftsmen and not by mass-producing machines in some factory in China.
Finally I glanced at the… people gawking in my general direction as they continued to stare at me with shock and awe.
Obviously I was kind of intimidated by this sudden… development and- OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS GOING ON HERE?!
One moment I was enjoying the simplicity of nature and now POOF I was somewhere else with unknown people and-
“IT WORKED!” I jumped as I was startled by the overly-joyful reaction coming from a Gandalf?
I mean, he was shorter and kind of a beggar ripoff version of the grand wizard from Lord of the Rings but he had a glowing staff!
Speaking of magical compensating sticks, I was kind of confused about why people would go this far to pull a prank on me.
I mean, sure I was kind of touched by the fact someone this old would learn how to speak few words of English with this fluent tone, but I couldn’t see why a bunch of unknowns would go this ‘far’ from tricking me.
There was no way in Goddang hell that this WASN’T a prank.
I was about to call out this stupid joke off when I saw something strange. Scratch that, what I saw was utterly impossible!
One of the better-dressed individuals in the room finally snorted at the celebrating old man and his loud exclamation, picking out a wand(?) out of his inner pockets and pointing it at him.
A quick, unreachable whisper but the effect was the clearest possible.
The cheerful elder was immediately turned into a living popsicle, ice completely freezing him on the spot.
My eyes widened. This wasn’t a prank.
I blinked. This wasn’t a prank! OH MY GOD THIS WASN’T A-
“I wish to apologize for the ill-mannered fool.” The man responsible for the magical act started, his stare lowered as he bowed slightly in my direction. “He has always been this quirky with his lucky moment of magic.”
I was speechless as my mind was slowly building up what was going to happen next.
If this was the classic Isekai scenario, I was going to become a hero! One of those badasses that flaunted cool swords and ended up becoming the greatest in the world!-
“Now I assume you would want to know the reason behind your summoning, Young Sir.” I nodded at his implicit question and the man continued. “This village has been afflicted by a terrible evil and we need your help, Young Sir.”
My smiled widened, I could already taste the glory and it tasted just like the delicious breakfast I had consumed two hours ago!
“We need you…”
As the greatest hero of this land!-
“As our new mayor.”
Thud
Chapter 1
Erindor, Lugnica, 422 APF
This was bad. This was soooooooooooo bad.
I know I shouldn’t be whining about having been summoned to fill up a well-paid desk job but I was and I was doing it so shamelessly.
Of the many opportunities, of the many jobs I could have been ‘forced into’ that could by any case be connected to heroism and badassery, I was ‘lucky’ enough to get coerced into something as dull as ruling a single town.
Maybe I was exaggerating a little in my crankiness, but I was incredibly bummed at the prospect of being stuck in a new, magical world and the only thing I could do is doing paperwork and administering this city, Erindor.
Speaking of the city and the Kingdom it was part of, I admit I was quite elated at the prospect of being in the Re:Zero universe, as I knew most of the known lore about it.
The enthusiasm vanished at the mere possibility that I was merely replacing Subaru in the canon, thought soon banished by the means of summoning that brought me here.
The beggar wizard, Egubert, was the prime responsible of my current predicament as he had more than once bragged about his most successful spell capable of bringing out the best candidates to mayor of the city.
Part of me wondered why this kind of spell had not been used to help out for the Royal Elections in Canon and the answer to that simple dilemma was given out by my new advisor.
Orestes de Lis was a former commandant of the Royal Army back during the Demi-Human War and had been a trustworthy administrator for the city in the period in which the several mayors of the town had been unable to rule.
Oh right, I almost forgot the mayors here died frequently. If I had to pick out a funny reference, I would say that the job was cursed as much as the DADA post in Harry Potter.
So not only I had to deal with a job I was only theoretically prepared for, but I had to be careful because it was cursed?
Maybe my predecessors were only dumb enough to die, or maybe it was because this world was kind of RWBY-level kind of dangerous.
Instead of the Grimm, we got the Demon Beasts. Instead of Salem, we got the Witch of Envy-!
Holy cow, I had never made that kind of connection. Sure, there weren’t Huntsmen and there weren’t Relic from some old deities, but Flugel’s mysteriousness does remind a lot of Ozma-
But let us not digress further in mad rambling and let us digress further in ‘mad rambling’.
As I woke up in my newest quarters, a minor upgrade compared to my former room (minus Computer or any electric devices), the first thing I notice was the books left by the bedside.
‘History of Lugnica’ was what enlightened me about my current whereabouts while also expanding a little more on the little detailed lore of the Royal Family.
While it was true that Emerada Lugnica had been denied a state funeral for alleged connections to the Witch’s cult, the driving force behind the opposition to her proper funeral was fueled by her inherent cruelty towards the people living in her fief.
From the general insanity to over-zealous following of some of the precepts of the Church of Volcanica, this woman reminded me a little of some other Bloody woman back in England and boy I was happy that she was long deceased in this time and period.
My quick read of the recent history of the kingdom was interrupted by the arrival of the Grand Healer of the city to the doorstep of my new room.
The equivalent of a Chief Physician was surprisingly humble in his manners, seemingly concerned on my well-being as he asked me about my medical information, at least a summarized, feudalized version of it.
I was healthy and a quick checkup proved me right, but I used this opportunity to entertain a chat with the influential ‘doctor’.
While I was an utter inept in medical science, I still was knowing of some interesting basis that Feudal society would benefit from, especially the poor.
Concepts like sterilization and clean hands were going to become a must under my rule, especially if I wanted to live a long life.
As the elder left the room with an intrigued look plastered in his face, I was interrupted once more by the gaunt-looking man that was Orestes.
“Mayor Bukharin, the Grand Healer said that you were well and-”
I nodded, groaning a little as I picked myself out of the bed. While it wasn’t as comfy as the one back home, it was still something capable of putting me to sleep if I lied on it a little more.
“And I need to get at work, I suppose.” The serious man nodded and proceeded to led me through the large hallway in the modest mansion that was now mine to live in.
The office that came with it was absolutely what one would expect to find in a lawyer’s room, not a mayor, but I found it surprisingly fitting with what I needed out from an office of mine.
A massive library of books I needed in a daily basis, several maps lying on the desk and the amble wooden furniture that was capable of holding both the maps and the stack of paperwork already there for me to check and sign (or not).
“Ser Orestes, I know that this task might sound a little underwhelming for a man of your stature…” I paused, thinking if it was something I should genuinely ask to a Knight of that rank. “But I would require the service of part of the city’s garrison in creating a basic census.”
He blinked at the word. “A ‘census’, Mayor Bukharin?” I nodded at him and took a simple piece of paper that had yet to be stained by ink.
“I need those who usually are responsible of writing down the equipment of the army and the resources available to the city to team up in writing down the names, ages and family groups of the people living in Erindor.” I wrote down on the paper my name, my age and repeated my surname to represent my family as an example of the task. “This would help a lot in improving the taxation system and maybe improve everything else too.”
He picked the paper, his confusion had yet to falter even through he seemed to understand my explanation.
“I will make sure to do as you command, Mayor Bukharin-” He paused just a moment. “I would also ask you to consider the possibility of expanding the current militia-”
“Oh, it will be done.” I interrupted and kind of panicked a little as I noticed him frown at my quick reply.
“I-I mean, I have already thought of expanding the current garrison with the ever-growing monster issues in the available paths to Erindor.” I tried to explain as simply as possible. “But I cannot guarantee an immediate source of good soldiers.”
“And what do you have in mind.. if I may ask?” I nodded my permission and voiced my thoughts over the necessity of a proper security force.
“I was thinking of having a training system set for every, able-bodied man in the town to have a proper reaction force.” I paused a moment, frowning at how funny I was thinking of the very option my own country had abolished not even two decades ago. “Compulsory military service for six months, every three years.”
The idea would have been nuked the moment it would have been brought up to a sensible society but I was stuck in a medieval-like period and we needed the manpower to survive in this dangerous environment.
“It…” Orestes blinked, awed by my deduction. “It would work. But how are you going to convince people to-”
“By reducing the taxes and giving bonuses to those who did exceptionally well during the military service, I could entice the young unemployed generation to give it a try and make some bones out of the experience.”
“And it would bring them some honor if they do well in their work.” The knight added up with the ghost of a smile in his wrinkly face. “It is a most excellent idea, Mayor Bukharin.”
I merely nodded, silently gesturing him to leave me with the paperwork and, once I was alone, I sighed tiredly.
My projects sounded all so nice in my head, but it was life itself that was going to impartially judge those as they are applied.
Hopefully I wasn’t going to get some bad reputation with the sudden militarization.
