My Vampire Assistant - Chapter 75

I thought about this on my way home, as short as it was (and I shortened it even more by hurrying back before dark), and then more as I paced in circles around my room. All the while, my imagination conjured one vision after another, which I tested on the scale of their allure to me.

I imagined myself as a renowned antiquities dealer, casually conversing with the director of British Museum like we were friends. In this vision, I was his equal, and my collection had artifacts that even he lusted after. I had riches and glory I envisioned in my past, and my father would’ve been prouder of me than both of us could imagine together if he was still alive.

It was a really pleasant dream, but it felt bland, as if lacking something like a dish lacks salt. I knew now that the world—and the history of it—was deeper than any human historian could imagine.

My dream changed.

Now I was a witch whom everyone treated with respect, not only for her magical prowess, but for her influence as well. I dealt in antiquities and artifacts, but not all of them were merely old things. Some held special power, and for those sellers always gathered like bees to the honey. There was a lot of danger in such business, but I met it bravely and no one dared to cross me, be they a vampire, a witch, a shapeshifter or a spirit of old.

It was an empowering dream. I wasn’t even sure in my mind if it was something truly possible, but my heart… my heart told me that yes, it was. I saw examples of what magic could really do now, and it was truly impressive. Why didn’t Alexandra tell me anything about it? I had to ask, but later.

For now, I analysed my dream. It was all I strove towards as a businesswoman and more, but now that I reached into all the possibilities, I saw a gaping hole in that one. It was man-shaped, and without filling it, I couldn’t complete the dream.

A certain vampire immediately appeared in my thoughts, but I decided to at least try to imagine someone else. Anyone. Surely there was someone I knew who was an eligible bachelor with no weirdness to him (or at least potentially harmful weirdness)?

Well, there were some acceptable-looking classmates from college, but I couldn’t imagine any of them dealing with supernatural unless they, like Andrey, really held out on me. But I doubted I was eligible for this many coincidences at once.

Then there was my coven. Maxim, one of them, I thought, might’ve been interested in me at least a little beyond friendship. He wasn’t ugly, and he was someone like me—someone with whom I could have an understanding on the supernaturalness of life.

I couldn’t imagine a relationship with him, though. We barely met; I knew so little about him and wasn’t really interested in finding more. We had no spark, at least if one was asking me. The very idea of having a romantic relationship with him looked really, really far-fetched.

With a sigh, I gave up. JJ it was. Inescapable with all his charms and all his beautiful words spoken in his delicious voice, and all the words he didn’t say, too. With his cat (or snake) eyes, with his needle-sharp claws, with his silk-smooth skin, with the way he talked about going to a war like it was something exciting. With the way he protected me with his own body and aura and didn’t blame me even a little bit when I shun him in return…

I shook my head and pulled myself out of this slope. I will have all the time in the world to feel guilty later, but it was rapidly cooling evening now. My thin clothes became less and less of a protection against the bursts of chill wind.

I focused on conjuring another mental image. Again, I was a powerful witch, striking a deal with an old, almost comically pompous vampire (that looked exactly like someone from vampire council from Twilight). This time, though, I wasn’t alone. There was a shadow next to me, a certain golden-haired shadow that only I could see.

He would grin at me with pride when something I said let me raise a price a little higher; advise when I was lost; distract me with subtle touches and jokes at my client’s expense when his speeches grew boring; hover protectively when he thought there was some danger in sight.

He would be as young as the day I first met him, and just as beautiful, while I…

I stretched the dream further. It was, after all, a dream. Possible or not possible, the idea was to imagine. So I did.

I was young and beautiful too, all thanks to my magic. If there was no magic known to reach eternal youth, I was the one who came up with it. If there was, but the cost was too high, I found out how to make it acceptable.

This way, no time could separate me from my beloved. There would be no pain of loss for him because of me, because no matter the danger, I would escape everything. And, since I was still dreaming, of course there was no question for whether my love was mutual.

I stopped in my tracks, banishing the picture—a pipe dream—out of my mind, but the desire stayed in it, sharp as a knife in my heart.

The ‘ways of immortals’. Vampires who couldn’t—physically—stand the sight of each other. Witches who feared them and shapeshifters who hated them. It all clicked together to paint a terrible picture in my mind.

All the vampires were doomed to either live lonely lives or watch their loved die. And they lived like that for centuries, for millennia, for… until they died.

And it was the same for JJ, too.

At that moment, my true dream became crystal clear to me. I wanted to help him—and myself, too. I wanted to find a way to break this cursed way of life, and I wanted myself to be the one to crack open JJ’s heart. The one to see deep within, to find the code for all his hidden messages.

Immortality. If I had it, I would have eternity to achieve everything else I wanted. Be that conquering the business of selling antiquities, or JJ’s heart.

That didn’t mean that I had to put these other elements of my dream away while I searched for the answer to the first one. For all I knew, it might hide in some old artifact, or in JJ’s kisses. Alright, the latter was highly doubtful. But since my dream disappeared like a mirage without him…

Why not investigate anyway?