Naruto In Marvel Universe - Volume 1 Chapter 34

“The official signing of the Seoul Accords was officiated today by the United Nations at the Vienna International Centre. 133 countries within the United Nations have approved and signed the accords today, with Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross delivering a speech on improving superhuman awareness within the governments of the world.”

Reading off his teleprompter, Will Adams of WHiH World News spoke to the camera, “Of the individuals asked to sign; Tony Stark, James Rhodes, and Natasha Romanoff of the Avengers were present.”

Turning his head to the next camera, Will continued, “Notably absent was Steve ‘Captain Amerca’ Rogers and Sam ‘Falcon’ Wilson. Captain Steve Rogers is considered the de facto leader of the Avengers by many, and Sergeant Sam Wilson was an active participant in the fall of SHIELD. Most commentators believed Captain Rogers would be the first to enlist in the United Nations’ Avengers, with many now questioning his motives for refusal.”

“Also absent, Naruto Uzumaki. Though not considered an official member of the Avengers, many speculated on his appearance at the signing today. Though inside sources say he is not within the Seoul Accord’s umbrella of control, many believed he would share his support for the passing of the bill after assisting the cities struck by 5/22. Recent polls show an outpour of support for the alien hero, while support for the Avengers has plummeted to an all-time low.”

Now looking back at the main camera, Will started again, “In more local news, presidential candidate Imus Champion began his campaign in New York yesterday. Today he’ll be stopping by Albany before heading into Buffalo-”

The television was muted, Jessica Drew looking down at Illyana with a raised eyebrow, “You really had to set up the TV instead of helping with the moving in?”

Illyana shrugged, looking around the barren room. There was no furniture or decorations, nothing but a flat-screen TV sitting on the cold wooden floor, “I wanted to see who signed.”

“You already knew who was going to sign, Secretary Ross told us over a week ago.” Jessica chastised, “Did you honestly think anyone would change their mind?”

“I’d hoped.” Illyana answered, turning the TV off, “Don’t tell me you think Captain America should be considered a criminal.”

“He isn’t considered a criminal, he’s considered retired.” Jessica corrected, “And unless he breaks that agreement, it’ll stay that way. As it should, the law’s the law.”

Illyana rolled her eyes, “If you think Captain America will retire, you’re delusional.”

“I’d rather think that than think he’d knowingly break the law.” The brunette shot back, “Now come on, Uzumaki’s clones can’t do all the work.”

“Then what’s the point of them then?” She grumbled with a complimentary stink eye as she followed Jessica outside.

Parked in front of the building sat a moving truck. In it were various kinds of furniture and other appliances that Shuri had graciously bought for them. Standing beside it, watching over his clones as they wheeled off the truck’s occupants one by one, Naruto signed away several doc.u.ments held up by the portly delivery man.

“…Address, 890 Fifth Avenue, Manhattan, New York-”

“Ya know ya don’t gotta read it out loud, righ’?” Asked the delivery man.

Illyana scowled, “You know you don’t gotta be a d.i.c.k, right?”

With a final flourish, Naruto gave his last signature before passing the clipboard to the now irate man, “Thank you, sir!”

Grumbling, the man walked over to the driver’s side of the truck as he inspected the signed doc.u.ments.

With the man’s back turned, Naruto was free to give Illyana a hard deadpan as he whispered, “Seriously?”

Illyana answered with a shrug.

Scratching his chin, Naruto said, “So, what do you guys think?”

“It’s…big.” Jessica offered plainly, “Why is it so big, again?”

Their new home, a massive complex, took up the entire city block it sat on and stood four stories high. Thanks to a quick Wikipedia search by Illyana, Naruto learned it had previously been owned by Howard Stark in the 1950’s but had been sold off and used as an office building for several political campaigns.

How Shuri had gotten her hands on it, Naruto didn’t want to ask, but in the end he was just happy to finally have an actual base of operations to work from. After all, Illyana’s apartment wasn’t exactly the best place to have meetings over the fate of the universe.

“Shuri might’ve gone a little overboard.” Naruto admitted, “But the bigger, the better…I think. Anyways, she’s gonna be coming over in an hour or so to set up some equipment in the bas.e.m.e.nt, so don’t be complaining when she’s around.”

Jessica raised an eyebrow, “Bas.e.m.e.nt?”

A wide and excited smile stretched along Naruto’s face.

-x-

“Wow.”

Standing in the bas.e.m.e.nt of their new home, the three members of Infinity Watch looked over the wide-open space before them. In one half of the room sat equipment and other necessities that had yet to be unpacked and put together. To their right, a dojo like door blocked out the next room.

Walking further into the room, Naruto said, “This will be our Batcave…or Arrowcave, or Fortress of Solitude…whatever you want to call it.”

Jessica inspected the dojo doors, sliding them open to reveal a massive room, the familiar smell of a fighting mat hitting her nose.

Passed the training mat sat a large patch of grass and dirt, with a small koi pond in the center of the small in-door training field. On the right side of the room, a gym was separated by a glass wall, a plethora of gym equipment sitting in the corner needing to be unpacked.

“We’re gonna be training in here.” Naruto said, stating the obvious, clearly proud of his makeshift training room.

“Training?” Jessica wondered.

Naruto nodded, “Team exercises, physical training, sparring, the works. We’ve all gotta get into proper shape before we can start working as an actual team.”

Illyana raised an eyebrow, “Most of us are already in shape-”

“Not the kinda shape we need to be.” The shinobi corrected, “I want to get us in the kind of shape where I don’t have to send you guys away if things get too crazy like it did on Knowhere. That means team building, strategy exercises, and a shit ton of sparring so we know how each other fights, inside and out.”

“I was hoping we could get to some actual field work.” Jessica admitted, frustration under her breath.

Smirking, the Uzumaki said, “If you wanna get out there, let’s get out there.”

“Let’s…as in together?”

“Sure, why not.” Naruto offered, jabbing his thumb over at Illyana’s direction, “We can leave her to the unpacking, since she decided she was too good to help unload the truck.” He said with his trademark grin.

“Hey!” Illyana called out indignantly as Naruto led Jessica away. As they disappeared up the bas.e.m.e.nt steps, the sorceress ran her hands through her hair as she looked at the boxes littered along the bas.e.m.e.nt floor.

“Well shit.”

-x-

“Holy shit-”

The proclamation was halted by the butt of a gun being jammed into the poor man’s cheek, dropping him to the ground with a thud.

“Everybody get down on the ground, now!”

Everyone’s attention was drawn to the violent shout, the startled bank patrons gasping when they realized it was Naruto Uzumaki standing a few feet in front of the bank teller. The notorious non-Avenger was holding his arm up in the air, pointing his hand towards the tellers menacingly.

A look of warning etched in his face, Naruto shouted, “I’ll blow you all away if any one of you makes a move I don’t like.”

A robust man with a receding hairline, seemingly the manager, took a shaky step forward, “Mister, you don’t have to hurt any-”

“Shut the f.u.c.k.i.n.g hell up!” Naruto screamed, “You watch the news? I could kill you without even a blink. Now, all of you not behind the counter get on the f.u.c.k.i.n.g ground right f.u.c.k.i.n.g now!”

“Yes, okay we understand sir.” The manager stuttered out, motioning to his employees to comply, “You want some money? Hm, is that what you want? ‘Cause we’ll give it to you, know problem. Just…please, take it easy.”

“No bundles, just singles. I don’t want one goddamn bundle of bills in this bag or I’ll kill everyone in this f.u.c.k.i.n.g room.” Naruto explained, pulling the duffle bag from around his shoulder and tossing it to the nearest teller.

Everyone was now laying on their bellies with their limbs spread out wide, one particular woman quivering in fear as she looked up at the intimidating figure that was Naruto Uzumaki. The man was wearing an all black business suit, a pair of leather gloves, and she could swear that the outline of a handgun was sticking out from the waistline of his pants. Catching his eye, the woman jolted her head back down to stare down at the ground with a whimper.

Naruto kept his eyes peeled out around him, half his attention on the duffle bag as it was passed among the tellers, each stuffing all the money in their registers inside as quickly as humanly possible. After the fifth teller, the bag finally found its way into the manager’s hands.

“The-there. That’s all of it.” Quivered the manager, beads of sweat gliding down his face as he presented the now stuffed duffle bag.

Violently grabbing the bag, Naruto quickly ruffled through it. Seemingly satisfied, he gave as charming smile as he could muster, “Thank you all, it’s been a pleasure. If anyone follows after me, I’ll find each and every one of you and kill you as slowly as I know how. Again, it’s been a pleasure.”

Walking backwards, Naruto kicked the bank’s door open before sliding outside.

Panning over the busy streets of Queens, he smiled at the lack of police. Hefting the bag up over his shoulder, Naruto began a swift walk towards his car.

Reaching up for the car’s passenger side door handle, he jumped as a thick glue-like substance shot onto his hand, sticking it to the car with a loud ‘thwomp.’ Jerking his now stuck hand to try and pry it free, Naruto jumped again as someone jumped down onto the roof of his car from above.

“Wow, the whole hero gig must not pay as much as I thought it would if you gotta rob banks. This is like the third bank this week, right? Whatta busy guy you are.”

Grimacing at the mocking tone, Naruto raised an eyebrow at the strangely dressed Samaritan.

Judging from their height and body shape, he could guess he was a young man, a kid if anything. He was covered from head to toe in a getup he could only call sweats and pajamas, the red and blue contrasting sharply and the sewn-on spider logo forcing an eyebrow to be raised. His face was covered entirely by a mask of the same material, with a pair of rigged goggles covering his eyes. The squinting white eyes glared down at him, the kid’s head tilted in a mocking gesture.

“You know who I am?” Naruto asked.

The kid shrugged, “Oh yeah, big fan…well I was. Kinda hard to like a guy who robs banks for a living, ya know?”

Naruto couldn’t hold back his smirk when he realized the kid was making his voice deeper to try and sound older, “Ever heard of Jesse James?” He offered offhandedly. Frowning, he continued, “If you know who I am, you know what I can do. Just forget about this and I won’t kill you kid.”

“Who’s the kid?” The kid wondered, his voice getting an octave deeper, though the unmistakable voice crack couldn’t be ignored, “And sorry buddy, but that’s not gonna happen.”

“Fine.” Naruto breathed harshly.

With a hard pull and a relaxing of his hand, Naruto pulled his hand out from the glove that covered it, freeing himself before reaching into his waistband to pull out the gun he’d stowed away.

But the kid seemed to have some kind of sixth sense, because Naruto had barely touched the grip of his gun before he back flipped off the car and took cover on the other side.

When no gun shots rang off, the kid peaked out from his side of the car to see Naruto sprinting down the sidewalk before turning sharp into an ally on his right.

“Goddammit.” The kid cursed at himself as he jumped up like a spring.

Naruto cursed as he looked over his shoulder to see the kid running after him, quickly catching up.

With a grunt, he jumped up onto a dumpster, using that as a springboard to reach the fire escape just above it. With a heave, his muscles straining due to the added weight of the bag, Naruto pulled himself up onto the fire escape. He didn’t look back as he began to scale up the escape’s steps. Eventually reaching the roof, he caught his breath as he looked around for a way down.

His search was cut short by a shout from behind, “Hey, I thought you could like walk up walls and stuff? Figures your Wikipedia page would be full of it.”

Jumping for the third time, Naruto turned to see the kid leaning up against the ledge of the building, several feet away from the fire escape.

“How’d you get up here?” Naruto asked, perturbed.

“Oh, well I can actually climb up walls and stuff. Pretty nifty actually.” The kid’s artificial eyes narrowed as he got off the ledge, “Wanna see what else I can do?”

“Not really.” Naruto declined, dashing off towards the opposite side of the building. Picking up momentum, he jumped over the gap with a heave. Landing with a roll, he got back up to his feet and continued his run.

As the man ran, the kid scratched at his masked scalp, “Can’t he like…fly?”

Shrugging breezily, he quickly gave chase.

Huffing as he came up to another ledge, Naruto repeated the same jump from before. Landing with another roll, he stumbled as he came up to his feet. That stumble let him see that the kid had easily jumped the space between two buildings back and was sprinting at him at full speed.

Reaching the next ledge, he skidded to a halt when he saw the large gap between. Cursing, he began to look for a fire escape to climb down. Spotting one, he was one step in when the kid landed in a crouch a few feet away.

Springing up straight, the kid fired off several shots of the sticky substance from his wrists at rapid fire. Evading them, Naruto threw caution into the wind and went in close for a solid jab towards the kid’s face.

Again, it was like he had a sixth sense. Ducking under the punch, the kid gave an awkward kick that Naruto blocked by crossing his arms in front of his chest. Skidding back from the force of the blow, the blonde shook his now numb arms to try and get their feeling back.

“You know, you’re not as awesome as I thought you’d be. With everything I’ve seen on YouTube, I thought you’d be doing same kooky alien stuff by now.” The kid observed, his head tilted in thought, “Never meet your heroes, I guess.”

Naruto didn’t retort, instead going in for a brutal hammer fist that the kid avoided. Undeterred, Naruto continued their brawl, with the blonde doing his best to land a hit and the kid avoiding him at every turn. Finally, after finding an immediate opening, Naruto drove his fist into the kid’s sternum.

Coughing from the hit and stumbling back, the kid almost reflexively fired off a shot into Naruto’s face, nailing him in the forehead.

Rolling back and landing in a crouch, the kid’s eyes squinted in pain as he recovered, only for them to widen when they landed on Naruto’s face.

Naruto had harshly pulled off the substance, his skin now warped in an inhumanly distorted manner.

“You ruined my mask.” Naruto grunted, shifting it back into place. Though it wasn’t as morphed as before, it was still more loose than the kid could stomach.

The kid’s artificial eyes narrowed, his head tilted curiously, “You’re not Naruto Uzumaki, are you?”

“I suppose one could say that. But with this face, this voice, who cares to know the difference?” The imposter said with a nonchalant shrug, “He kills and ruins lives, what’s a few bank robberies added to his crimes?”

Seeming no longer see the point in continuing the charade, the imposter began to peel away the mask. Under it revealed no face at all, just another mask. Only this one was featureless, plane white and smooth leaving everything to the imagination.

The kid’s head tilted further, “A mask under a mask? That’s a little Scooby-Doo isn’t it?”

“I’m glad the last thing you got to say was a joke, not a lot of people have that luxury.” The imposter said wistfully as he pulled out his gun.

As he swung it around, and his finger wrapped along the trigger, a figure dropped down behind him. Before he could realize it, the imposter was put in a tight choke hold. The last thing he felt before consciousness left him was a jolt of electricity charging into his body.

Holding the limp man in her arms, Jessica sighed as she let him drop in a heap to the ground. Frowning at the masked man slumped below her, she said, “Are you gonna come out, or do I have to handle everything?”

The kid’s eyes showed his confusion, “What-”

“I keep forgetting that you can zap people like that.”

The kid jerked in surprise, his senses going haywire as he felt someone suddenly appear behind him. Turning sharply, the kid took a few steps back when he saw Naruto Uzumaki standing over him, looking over his shoulder at Jessica and the unconscious imposter.

Jessica, who was wearing her Infinity Watch uniform, sighed, “It’s not a zap. It’s a bio-electrical discharge.”

“Semantics.” Naruto shrugged nonchalantly. At the sound of encroaching police sirens, he said, “Let’s get this guy down to the sidewalk.” He looked to Jessica, “You got any handcuffs?”

“Where would I keep handcuffs in this thing?” Jessica asked, referring to her skin-tight body suit.

“No one told you that you had to wear it.” Naruto shot back with a dismissive wave of the hand. Scratching his scalp, he looked to the kid, “Hey kid, you got some handcuffs?”

The kid straightened at attention, “Oh, uh…no. Sorry.”

“It’s alright-”

Naruto was interrupted by the sound of a wet squelch, his eyebrows shooting up as what looked like webs fired out from the kid’s wrist. The webbing shot out and enveloped the imposter’s hands, wrapping around and binding them tightly.

Both Naruto and Jessica’s attention went from the bound hands to the kid, who was shifting awkwardly under the scrutiny.

Taking stock of the kid’s outfit for the first time, and noticing the spider symbol sewn into the torso of his shirt, Naruto asked, “What are you, some kind of spider man or something?”

“Uh…I guess?” The now dubbed Spider-Man admitted.

Naruto chuckled, “Well Spider-Man, meet Spider-Woman.” He said, motioning to Jessica who had lifted the imposter up over her shoulder.

“That is not my name.” Jessica grumbled, beginning to walk over to the ledge of the building.

“Oh, it’s definitely your name now.” Naruto cackled, following after her.

Realizing they were leaving him behind as they jumped off the ledge of the building, Spider-Man shouted, “Hey, wait for me!”

Jumping off the roof, he quickly fired a line of webbing towards the corner of the adjacent building. With a jolt, the webbing caught him in his free fall. Giving the line some slack, Spider-Man slowly descended to the streets below.

Naruto, who’d heard the kid call out to them, watched as he awkwardly dropped to the ground in amus.e.m.e.nt.

As Spider-Man caught up, so too did a duo of police officers, pulling up in their squad car with the sirens blaring. Stepping out, the officers took the imposter from Jessica, heaving him into the back of the car.

Pulling out a pad, one of the officers gave the three a wary look, “I’ma need to see your guys’ registration.”

“They ain’t registered.” The other officer answered for them as he wrote into a pad of his own, “Don’t you recognize ’em? That’s Maelstrom and Agent Drew. They’re good to go.”

“Right.” Muttered the first officer, though he didn’t seem too happy with it. His scrutiny shifted to Spider-Man, “Whatta ’bout him?”

Spider-Man shifted nervously, “Uh-”

“He’s with us.” Naruto answered, Spider-Man’s head shooting up in a shocked confusion.

“Really?” The second officer asked, suspicious, “You and her and your friends aren’t to be bothered, but this kid wasn’t a part of the list we were given. If he ain’t registered, we gotta take him in with us.”

“He’s new.” Was Naruto’s answer firmly, daring the man to challenge him further, “If it weren’t for him we wouldn’t have gotten…whoever this guy is.”

“Who he is isn’t any of your-”

“His name’s Dmitri Smerdyakov.” Jessica answered, much to the officer’s displeasure, “He’s been on Interpol’s most wanted list for nearly a decade. His M.O. is disguising himself as a celebrity while committing a string of robberies. You’d be surprised how much more compliant people are when they’re getting robbed by someone like Brad Pitt or Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Seeing the cat was out of the bag, the second officer exhaled, “He’s been runnin’ around Queens and Harlem robbing banks, looking like Mr. Uzumaki here.” He eyed Naruto with a small smile, “His impression of you is pretty good, good number of people thought it was actually you for a bit. But once we got word from Interpol, we knew what was what.”

“I guess I should be flattered.” Naruto muttered flatly, looking at the now conscious Dmitri. The man was glaring a hole through the car window that divided him from the outside world, his eyes boring into Naruto like hot knives.

Several questions later, and the officers carted Dmitri off. When the patrol car was out of sight, Jessica turned her attention to Spider-Man.

A hand on her hip, she looked at him with scrutiny, “You’re not registered.”

It wasn’t a question.

Spider-Man looked one wrong word away from high tailing it out of there, his eyes widened comedically as he stuttered, “Well, uh…the thing is-”

“Jessica,” Naruto cut off. Having grabbed her attention, the blonde wordlessly shoed her away with a nod of his head.

Though she looked ready to argue, she held her tongue. With a grunt, she jumped up the side of the building and quickly scaled it like her moniker suggested.

If Spider-Man was impressed that she could climb walls like he could, he didn’t show it. His full attention was on Naruto, his stance showing that he really didn’t know what to do.

Naruto, who’d been eyeballing the kid with the same kind of scrutiny as Jessica, finally broke the tension with his patented smile, “Hungry?”

-x-

On the roof of an apartment building a couple blocks over, Naruto leaned on the roof’s ledge as he finished off his recently purchased hotdog. Looking away from the bustling city of Queens, he silently watched the kid eat, the boy sitting on the ledge next to him, his legs kicking back and forth seemingly without a care in the world.

“How old are you, kid?” Naruto finally asked.

Spider-Man, his mask partially pulled up so he could eat his hotdog, coughed mid-swallow. Clearing throat, he spoke in a voice that was suspiciously deeper than it had been back on the other rooftop, “Seve-…eighteen.”

“Right.” Naruto drawled, taking another bite from his hotdog.

Swinging around so he was facing Naruto, Spider-Man tilted his head, “So…you’re really Naruto Uzumaki? The guy people call Maelstrom and stuff?”

Naruto chuckled, “Yeah, yeah that’s me.”

“…Huh.” The kid said as he took another bite.

“What?”

“Well,” Spider-Man muttered, his mouth full, “I guess I just thought you’d be a little more…intimidating or something.”

Naruto barked out a single laugh, “You want me to do something a little flashy, prove I’m legit?”

“Well, I’ve had a pretty interesting day, what with the Naruto Uzumaki imposter and all. I don’t think you can blame me for wanting some proof.” Spider-Man argued lamely before taking the final bite of his hotdog.

“Fine.” Naruto breathed. Extending his hand, he calmly palmed a Rasengan.

Spider-Man’s eyes widened as far as they could, “Woah.” He breathed, chunks of meat slipping passed his gaping mouth.

And as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, “Good enough?”

“Yeah, you’re the real deal.” The kid conceded, amazed at the display. Balling up the foil in his hand, Spider-Man pulled his mask back into place.

“Alright, now your turn.” The shinobi said, “How old are you really?”

Spider-Man fidgeted, “I told you, I’m-”

“Going off your height and size, and the actual pitch of your voice, I’d say you’re around fourteen, give or take.” Naruto guessed.

The kid’s shoulders slumped in defeat, “…I’m fifteen.”

Naruto smiled as the kid stopped deepening his voice, “So, what’s a pajama wearing fifteen-year-old doing fighting crime on the streets of Queens?”

“They’re not pajamas.” Spider-Man retorted, his artificial eyes showing his indignation, “It’s a hoodie and some sweatpants. It’s not like there’s a superhero superstore for me to go to.”

“Still doesn’t answer why a fifteen-year-old kid is out in a mask stopping bank robbers.” Naruto shot back.

“I don’t know, why do you do it?” Spider-Man asked guardedly, “And you should know why I wear a mask.”

The blonde nodded, “No one’s gonna let an underage kid become a registered mask, no matter how impressive he might be.”

Spider-Man perked up, “You really think I’m impressive?” He asked, hopeful.

Naruto laughed, “Yeah kid, you’ve definitely got my interest.”

Puffing his chest out proudly, the kid rested his hands on his waist, “Yeah well-”

“You can’t really fight for shit though.”

The boy immediately deflated, “Come on man.” He whined.

“Who taught you how to throw a punch anyway?” Naruto asked with a lopsided smile.

“My uncle did.” Spider-Man grumbled, his arms falling to his sides, “…What’s wrong with how I fight?”

“Well for one, your stance is all wrong.” Naruto answered. After a second of thought, he said, “Here let me show you.”

Shifting his feet and bending his knees, the blonde lifted his arms up in front of him. Spider, realizing the older man wanted to mimic him, slid into a similar stance, “Like this?” He asked awkwardly.

“Loosen up a little.” Naruto said, bouncing on his toes to accentuate the point.

“Um, okay.” He muttered, rolling his shoulders as he did what the man said.

The shinobi nodded, “What’s your dominant hand?”

“The right.”

Naruto nodded, “Alright, so as you swing your right first, lean in with your shoulder. As you punch, rotate your fist. Got it?”

“Okay.”

“Hit me.” Naruto said, standing at an arm’s length away.

“For real?” Spider-Man questioned, his stance lowering momentarily, “I hit pretty hard.”

“Don’t hold back.” Naruto insisted firmly, giving a reassuring smile.

Releasing a nervous breath, Spider-Man nodded. Getting back into the stance Naruto showed him, the boy began to bounce on his toes, his shoulders relaxed as his hands raised up to protect his chin.

With a grunt, Spider-Man sent a jab towards Naruto’s chin.

The blonde easily swatted it away, “Again.” He demanded.

Taken aback by the ease in which Naruto deflected the punch, Spider-Man gave a hesitant nod before getting his arms back up.

With another grunt, Spider-Man sent a jab towards Naruto’s chin.

This time, Naruto grabbed his wrist. Pulling Spider-Man in, Naruto dipped his shoulder down into the kid’s stomach, flipping him over his shoulder.

Spider-Man hissed in pain as the air was knocked out of him from the landing. Rolling onto his stomach, he looked up at the smirking blonde, “You okay kid?” Naruto asked.

“Oh yeah, totally fine.” He wheezed, slumping up to his hands and knees. As Naruto offered a helping hand, Spider-Man took it gratefully.

“Your uncle ever show you how to take a hit?” Asked Naruto as he lifted the kid to his feet.

“No.” He said, rubbing his bruised back.

“Maybe you should ask him?” Naruto offered. When the kid didn’t answer, he said, “Or maybe I could.”

The boy brightened up, “Really?”

Naruto shrugged, “Sure, if you want.”

“Yes!” Spider-Man shouted excitedly, though he quickly calmed down, awkwardly trying to save face as he muttered, “I mean…yeah sure, I guess.”

Letting it slide, Naruto walked over to the edge of the roof, leaning against the ledge, “So if your fifteen, shouldn’t you be in school or something?”

“I’m on summer vacation.” Spider-Man answered as though it were obvious.

“Even I know summer vacation ended a few weeks ago.” Naruto accused, tilting his head, “Skippin’ school kid?”

“Uh, well-” Spider-Man began to stutter.

Naruto lifted his hands placatingly, “Hey, believe me, I get it.”

“You do?”

“Sure.” Naruto nodded, folding his arms across his chest, “But, then again, I wasn’t exactly the smartest kid around.” He paused, “Can’t really say that about you though, huh?” He asked, looking at the kid’s web-shooters.

Spider-Man’s eyes widened in surprise. Looking down in what Naruto assumed shame, he kicked at the roof’s gravel, “You could say that.”

“Where do you go to school?” Naruto asked.

“Midtown School of Science and Technology.” He answered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Really? Wow.” Naruto blurted out, impressed, “Well, come on. There’s still enough time in the day for you to get back.”

“Seriously?” Spider-Man asked, exasperated.

“Trust me kid, you’ll thank me later.” Naruto insisted.

Spider-Man nodded, though from his body language he didn’t seem to agree, “Well what am I supposed to say when I show up?”

Naruto smiles, “Leave that to me.”

-x-

“I don’t know about this.”

Naruto sighed, the man leaning against the side of a porta-potty that sat at the edge of a construction site. The crew was working on a building that had been hit during 5/22, an Ultron drone having detonated just outside the lobby.

“For the millionth time, you’re secret’s safe with me.” Naruto reassured, “Come on kid, just get out here already.”

“Alright, alright.” The porta-potty’s door creaked open. Stepping out, Spider-Man fixed his backpack onto his shoulder. The teen didn’t look particularly special. If he were in the middle of a crowd, he wouldn’t stick out any more than anyone else. His brunette hair was combed back and pressed down tight, giving him what he recognized to be mask-hair (a more serious case of hat-hair).

No longer wearing his homemade suit, the kid was had on a blue t-shirt with the chemical symbols for oxygen and magnesium scrawled along the chest.

Reaching out his hand, Naruto said, “Naruto Uzumaki.”

Spider-Man hesitated before finally taking the hand, “Wesley Crusher.”

“Nice to meet you, Wesley.” Naruto greeted, clapping his hand onto the boy’s shoulder. Guiding him along, Naruto said, “Now come on, you’ve wasted enough time complaining about me ruining your ‘secret identity.’”

“Do you really gotta say it like that?” A thought struck him, “Hey, how am I supposed to get ahold of you for the training and stuff? Do you have like a Maelstrom Phone I can call or-”

“How about you give me your number and we’ll go from there.” Naruto cut off, “And Maelstrom Phone? Really?”

Wesley shrugged, “Hey man, I don’t know how this professional superhero gig works. Cut me some slack, geez.”

As Naruto gave Wesley his phone, the blonde said, “Well here’s a tip. If it’s from a cartoon from the 2000’s, it’s usually a safe bet that that’s not how it works.”

“Should I be jotting this down or-”

“Here’s another tip,” Naruto cut off helpfully as he got his phone back, “Uzumaki bootcamps don’t require notes. You should memorize every gem I drop.”

Wesley nodded, “And how will I know it’s a gem or not?”

“What do you think?” Naruto asked while pocketing the phone.

“…Just assume everything is a gem?”

“You learn fast, kohai.” The blonde complimented sagely.

“So, can I call you sensei or-”

“No.” Naruto said immediately, “Don’t be lame, kid.”

Wesley rolled his eyes as they walked up to the bus stop, “Oh, so it’s cool to call me kohai, but I’m lame for calling you sensei? Makes total sense.”

One bus ride later, Naruto and Wesley stood in front of Midtown, Naruto’s hand still on the kid’s shoulder. Walking inside, Naruto waved to a few gawking students, the kids whispering to each other while pointing at the blonde not so discreetly.

Stepping into the office, Naruto drummed his fingers on the counter of the desk while the secretary finished typing into her computer.

“What can I do for you?” She asked, not bothering to look up from her screen.

“I’m here to drop off one of your students.” Naruto replied, continuing to drum his fingers as he leaned into the counter.

The secretary looked up, her eyes widening when she saw who was standing at the other side of the desk. Blinking rapidly, she stammered, “I’m sorry…what?”

Naruto pointed his thumb at Wesley, “I’m here to drop off a student.”

“Uh-huh.” She said, gathering herself as she noticed Wesley, “Ah, Mr. Parker.”

“Mr. Parker huh?” Naruto pondered, raising an eyebrow at the younger boy who dipped his head sheepishly.

“Parker!”

Naruto and Parker turned to see a well-dressed man of Asian descent walking out of an office at the back of the room. As he reached the two, he folded his arms across his chest sternly, “It’s ten o’clock, Parker. Mind telling me why you’re late, again?”

“Um…well-” Parker began to stutter.

“I can answer that, I think.” Naruto interrupted brightly, getting the other man’s attention.

A look of recognition came from the man, though he shook it off as he asked, “And how is that, Mr. Maelstrom?”

The blonde blinked at the formality, but never the less kept his winning smile, “Naruto’s fine, Mister…?”

“Morita, Principal Morita.” The school’s principal answered, “Now, how is it that you know Mr. Parker, exactly?” He asked suspiciously.

“Well, I wouldn’t really say I know the kid, I just happened upon him when he was in trouble.” Naruto said.

“Trouble?” Morita questioned, concern managing to seep into his voice as his eyes drifted to Parker.

“Mh’mm, I was making my rounds through Queens when I saw Mr. Parker over here getting mugged by what looked to be middle school girls.” Naruto lied, fighting the grin that wanted to come up at Peter’s mortified expression.

Morita raised an eyebrow at Parker, wordless asking for confirmation.

Parker swallowed his pride as he muttered, “Yeah, that’s what happened.”

The principal soaked that in, resting his hands on his h.i.p.s sternly, “Well, I suppose we should call the police-”

“Oh, I took care of that. Gave the girls a talkin’ to myself. Very inspiring, incredibly heartfelt. The kid isn’t gonna have a problem with them again.” Naruto turned to Peter, the teen avoiding eye contact with Morita, “Right, Parker?”

Morita looked like he wanted to argue, but seemed satisfied that Naruto had handled the situation, “Alright Parker, go ahead and get to class. I’ll talk with you later.” He said firmly.

Parker nodded, stepping past the principal to give Naruto a handshake as he said, “Thanks again for helping me out.”

“Anytime, Parker.” Naruto teased, watching as the kid flinched sheepishly before walking out of the office.

Naruto turned when the man next to him coughed gently into his hand. Raising an eyebrow as Morita stared him down, his arms folded over his chest stiffly, the blonde waited for the stern man to speak.

And as a bubble of nerves built up into Naruto’s chest, the principal finally spoke.

“Mind if I get an autograph?”

-x-

After an autograph or two and several pictures taken, Naruto was finally able to walk out of school. Passing the track and field, the blonde paused as his phone began to vibrate.

Tapping the screen to answer the call, Naruto muttered into the mic, “Hello?”

He pauses as a muffled voice comes through before speaking, “Uh, yeah sure, I can be there. Are you sure you want-”

He’s cut off as the voice comes through again. Naruto nods to no one, “Yeah, no, I get it. Okay, yeah I’ll be there.”

As he walks along the track and field’s ticket booth, he waves to a flock of students sitting in the stands as he says to himself, “You can come out now.”

Landing deftly behind him, Jessica straightened as she asked, “How long did you know?”

“Oh, come on, Jess.” Naruto drawled lightly, not bothering to stop walking as he continued, “You never left. You’ve been tailing me since I asked you to scram.”

Jessica follows after him, not phased that he’d been aware the entire time, “How was the hotdog?”

“Is that really what you want to ask, or are you trying to lower my guard with bullshit questions?” Naruto demanded plainly, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “I’m not as dumb as my file says.”

“I wouldn’t know anything about that-”

“Official SHIELD file of one Uzumaki, Naruto,” The man began to recite in a bored tone, “Extremely powerful on a level that is, as of now, unseen in its scope and measure. Should be considered a threat at all times, keep up a constant guard and vigilance as a precaution. Only notable weakness is a lack of Earthly knowledge and overall intelligence. Easily distracted by small talk and accusations against his home planet-”

“And what does my file say about me?” Jessica interrupted.

Naruto paused, allowing the woman to catch up, “What did you want to ask, really?”

As they walked side by side, Jessica sighed, “Can we at least get out of here? People are staring.”

Looking around, students out and about were indeed staring at the uniform clad Spider-Woman, several phones taking video and pictures that would likely spread like wildfire.

Grabbing her shoulder, the two vanished.

-x-

Illyana huffed as she set down another box on the kitchen table. Thanks to some clones who’d stayed behind, the main floor of the mansion was furbished save for a random box here or there. Opening the box, she began to pull out a stack of plates-

DING DONG!

Illyana looked up, a Naruto Shadow Clone peaking his head out from behind the kitchen doorway, “Who is it?” He wondered.

The sorceress shook her head as she walked past him, “How the hell should I know?”

“Magic? Sorcery? Gobbledygook?” The clone guessed as he set down a box in the living room, two other clones setting up the television stand.

She ignores them as she reached the door. Cracking it open, she takes a peek to outside.

On the other side of the door, Owen Reece waited awkwardly, “Hey, uhm, you’re Illyssa, right?”

“Illyana.” The blonde corrected, swinging the door open welcomingly, “Welcome to home base.”

“Right.” Owen muttered, taking in the large building.

While Owen was distracted, Illyana noticed the suitcase by his side, “Is the rest of your luggage coming later or…?”

“This is it.” Owen answered, withdrawn.

“Right.” She said slowly. Shaking it off, she put on a welcoming smile, “Well at least you don’t have a lot to unpack. Come on in!”

Stepping inside, Owen looked around in wonder at the vast interior. While dozens of Naruto clones meandered about with their individual tasks, the two took a tour of the mansion.

“And there’s the living room. Our…benefactor, bought all of the furniture and appliances for us. Haven’t really gotten the chance to test them out yet honestly.” Illyana informed, heading towards the stairs, “The kitchen and dining room is just down the hall. Naruto’s got some clones doing some grocery shopping, so we might not have the best selection for a little while. But if you’ve got any requests just let us know the next time any of us go out. Do you have a drink that you like?”

“Uh, Kool-Aid I guess.” Owen answered. When Illyana gave him an amused look he muttered, “Prison doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of options other than water and Kool-Aid. At least I think it was Kool-Aid. A kid a cell over thought it was Flavor-Aid, but he was a bit of a nihilist.”

“You gotta flavor you like?” Illyana asked, wanting to shift the subject.

Owen shrugged, “Anything but gr.a.p.e. I hate gr.a.p.e.”

“Why?” She asked, expecting a simple, ‘I just do-‘

“Jonestown.”

Illyana paused as they reached the second level, “Alright.” She said slowly.

Owen walked passed her, “So, uhm, which is my room?”

The wide hallway was decorated with doors on either side, eight on this floor alone. The floor above held two additional guest bedrooms, but it mainly acted as a decently large hanger bay. Apparently, Howard Stark was an avid helicopter pilot.

“Well, Naruto called the room closest to us on the left, I’ve taken the first room to the right, and Jessica’s is next to Naruto’s so-”

“Got it, I think I got it from here.” As he headed towards the room on the far-left side of the hallway, “Gotta unpack and stuff.”

“Are you sure-”

DING DONG!

Illyana stops. Groaning in agitation as Owen disappeared into his new room, “Coming!” She calls out.

As she hurries down the steps, the doorbell is rung for a second time.

As she reaches the final step, a third ring is delivered.

And as Illyana grips the door, a fourth is rung.

“I said I’m coming!” Illyana insisted harshly before swinging the door open, only to blink at who’s on the other side.

Okoye raised a delicate eyebrow. Her posture straight and expression apathetic, the general nodded, “Witch.” She greeted.

The woman had forgone her Dora Milaje uniform; instead wearing a red and black checkered jacket, black dress pants, and maroon flats.

“Baldy.” Illyana fired back. As the two got nose to nose, a familiar voice broke their stare-off.

“Ms. Magik!”

Said blonde blinked as a cheerful girl popped up from behind Okoye. The girl was oddly dressed, with most of her head covered in a head wrap and her eyes covered by an overly large pair of Adventure Time sunglasses.

After taking her in, Illyana finally recognized the younger girl, “Shuri, right?”

“Mm’hm!” She answered with an animated nod.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you.” The woman greeted, extending her hand to shake the girl’s.

Only to be stopped by Okoye, who gently stepped in her way, “Please do not touch the princess.” She requested bluntly.

“Uh-” Before Illyana could fully respond, Okoye stepped past her into the house.

“So, this is the house the princess bought for you.” The general observed, looking around deftly, “I see she went a little overboard. Again.”

“Overboard? This is even better than I thought!” Shuri exclaimed, trailing after the general, only to stop as she passed Illyana, “And she can shake my hand, General. Lighten up.”

Illyana took the girls out stretched hand, smiling as she shook it, “Thank you, by the way. For all of this.” She says, motioning around the house.

“The princess has a rule about working in style.” Okoye muttered, watching the Shadow Clones move around as they did their tasks, “And I must admit, it is stylish. For an American design.”

Shuri looked around excitedly, “So, where’s my lab?”

“Downstairs.” Illyana answered, motioning for the two to follow her, “Come on, I’ll take you.”

-x-

Naruto and Jessica stood on the rooftop he and Parker had been on not an hour before thanks to a Hiraishin tag planted on the rooftop door.

Jessica waited patiently as Naruto watched the city move around them. Horns blared, sirens whistled, people murmured, and tires whirred. While Jessica easily tuned it out, she watched as Naruto seemed to struggle with the incessant scream of the city.

But just as he seemed overwhelmed, he pushed it aside to ask, “You had a question?”

“He’s a little young, don’t you think?” She asked, getting straight to the point.

Naruto tilted his head, “How old were you when you started?”

“Eighteen.” She answered.

“Well, I was twelve. Fifteen splits the difference.” Naruto said.

Jessica narrowed her eyes, “And because of that, you think he’s ready for what you expect of us? Do you honestly think he could’ve handled what happened on Knowhere? Or Seoul for that matter? He’s a boy.”

“I never said I was going to make him a part of the team.” Naruto shot back.

“What then?” Jessica demanded.

Naruto sighed, slouching forward as he set his elbows on his knees. Looking up at her, he said, “I don’t know how long you’ve been involved with this kind of thing, but I’ve seen more than enough kids like him to know his story. He’s not gonna stop, Jess. Me, you, the Avengers, the government, it doesn’t matter who tells him to stop. Because he won’t. He’s gonna keep going until he makes it or breaks it. And almost every time, kids like him break. He needs someone to show him the way. To keep him from making the same stupid mistakes we all make. ‘Cause if not, one of these days he’s just gonna be some dead kid on the pavement.”

“And what if you getting involved is what gets him hurt? Or worse?” Jessica challenged, “Because then it isn’t on him, it’s on you.”

“I’d rather give the kid what he needs than let him fend for himself.” Was Naruto’s retort, “Don’t worry, I’m well aware that he’s my responsibility.”

Jessica shifted on her feet, momentarily thinking over the man’s words. Finally, she folded her arms under her chest, “Alright, Uzumaki. So long as you understand that the boy is in your hands.”

Getting up with a sigh, Naruto ran his hand over his hair, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell Ross or your superiors about the kid.”

“You’re joking.” Jessica stated sternly.

Naruto began to walk towards her, “Do I look like I’m joking?”

The woman met him halfway, “You can’t expect me-”

“I expect you to do what you’re told!” Naruto shouted, nose to nose with her as he glowered down at the unflinching woman. Blinking, Naruto realized he’d lost his cool. Taking a deep breath, he forced his tone to be calm, “You go on and on about him being a kid. Well, guess what? If you tell Ross, or the CIA, you’re feeding him to the wolves. He’s under their radar, they don’t care about some kid swinging around Queens when they’ve got a Norse god tearing up London, robots blowing up cities, secret teams and organizations out the wazoo, and super soldiers making Washington DC a warzone. They won’t notice him if he doesn’t make a lot of noise. But if you put that bullseye on his back, if you force him down that path, what happens to him is on you just as much as it’s on me. Can you handle that? Can you turn that kid into a soldier? Speaking from personal experience, it doesn’t end well.”

Jessica glared up at the man, only faltering slightly, “I can’t say nothing. It would look suspicious.”

“Tell them I handled it, leave it as unspecific as possible.” Naruto offered, though from his tone it came off as a command.

“Telling the truth with as little of the truth as possible.” The woman considered, seemingly impressed, “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Leaning back, Naruto turned away, “You’re not the only one who’s gotta thing for being sneaky. I thought you were better than me at it, though. Isn’t being a spy your whole, you know…thing? What with being an international woman of mystery and all.”

“I may be a…whatever it is you just called me, but espionage wasn’t what I was sent for. If they had a mission, information wasn’t the objective.” Jessica admitted offhandedly, staring into the man’s back.

Rubbing out the crick in his neck, Naruto muttered, “Right, that leaves plan B.”

“I wasn’t aware that plan B was synonymous with assassination.”

“And I didn’t know you didn’t know when someone was trying to be subtle out of curtesy.” Naruto shot back, pulling his phone out of his pocket, “Come on, we’re late.”

Confused, Jessica asked, “Late for what?”

“The press conference.”

“What?”

-x-

Owen sighed as he placed the final set of folded socks into the dresser of his new room. It was…bigger, than he was used to. It was about three times the size of his entire apartment back in Winchester, though admittedly that wasn’t anything to brag about.

It was a step up from the cells he’d occupied for years, so he couldn’t complain.

Pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, Owen pried a lone stick out before bringing it to his lips. The tip was suddenly wrapped in a flash of energy. As soon as it popped up, it was gone, the cigarette lit.

As he took a drag, a voice came from behind him, “Think you could take that outside?”

Owen jumped, coughing on the smoke he swallowed. Turning around, he saw a Naruto clone standing in the corner of his room, “What the hell, man?” He exclaimed harshly between coughs.

“Just popped in to see how you were doin’.” The clone answered without a care in the world, “So, how you doin’?”

Walking towards a window, Owen slid it open. Leaning into the windowsill, the man took another drag from his cigarette. Releasing his breath, a cloud of smoke blew from his mouth. To Naruto’s surprise, the cloud began to take form, shifting to crudely resemble Owen.

“So, how’re you gonna train me, exactly?”

The Naruto clone shrugged, “We’ll get to that later, right now the boss just wants to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“You ever thought about rebelling against the boss?” Owen asked, blowing another plumb of smoke. This time, it shifted into the form of a dragon. The smokie-Owen, now riding a smokie-dragon, gave a silent battle cry before charging up higher into the air.

“Well, technically, I…we, are each other. I can’t really rebel against myself.” The clone offered awkwardly, not quite knowing how to answer the question.

As the smokie-Owen and its dragon dispersed into the air, Owen flicked his half eaten away cigarette into the Manhattan streets, “Sure you can.”

Before the clone could answer, Illyana’s voice could be heard.

“Okay, so I press this button?”

Owen looked around the room, “Is that a PA system?”

The clone smiles proudly, “Yeah, we just finished installing it a few minutes ago. Pretty neat huh?”

“Yeah, neat is the exact word I’d call it.” Owen said distractedly as Shuri’s voice could be heard in the background, telling Illyana that the PA was on.

“Hey, uh, Owen, could you head down to the bas.e.m.e.nt, please?” Illyana asked over the intercom system.

Owen sighs, rubbing his scalp, “I don’t really-”

He wasn’t able to finish the thought, as the Naruto clone grabbed onto his shoulder before disappearing in a flash. Owen stumbled as he and the clone appeared in the bas.e.m.e.nt.

“-feel like it.” Owen finished, feeling the room spin as he caught himself from falling on his ass, “What the hell was that?”

The clone shrugs, “Hiraishin. You’ll get used to it, promise.”

“Right.” The other man breathed, finally steadying himself. Looking over at Illyana, who was sitting next to Shuri at a large computer setup. Walking over, he asked, “Whatcha need?”

Illyana points over to another Naruto clone, “Him.”

Owen eyed the second for a moment before turning to the one who brought him down, “You couldn’t have told me?”

“You think we have some kinda psychic connection?” The two clones asked at the same time. Blinking, they looked at each other, “Woah, weird.” They said together again.

The first clone popped after that, clearly weirded out.

Illyana rubbed her temple with her finger as she looked at the screen Shuri was typing into, “His clones are a pain in the ass already, God forbid they start having an interconnected web of psychic thought.”

Okoye, who was standing directly behind Shuri, lifted a curious eyebrow at Owen, “This is him?”

“What do you need?” Owen asked, trying to get to the point.

“Just figured you should come down and meet the rest of the crew.” The clone answered lightly with a lopsided smile, “General Okoye over here thinks I’m full of it when I tell her what you can do.”

“I never said anything about you being full of whatever it is you’re supposedly full of.” Okoye argued, “And excuse me for being skeptical of a man who can make anything out of nothing.”

Owen began to rub at his elbow, “I wouldn’t call it that-”

“Ah, don’t listen to him.” Naruto interrupted happily, “He’s just being modest.”

Okoye hummed to herself, “Alright then, let’s test his talent.”

Everyone turned to Owen, all awaiting him to show off his skills. The man finally accepted his situation, rolling his shoulders before muttering, “All right, hit me.”

“Make a chair.” Naruto offered, wanting to start off simple.

Nodding, Owen extended his hands out in front of him. His face creased in concentration; he quickly began to will his powers to the surface. Yellow energy enveloped his hands, humming aggressively.

Across from Owen, a bundle of similar energy appeared, it too humming like an engine. And, with one final heft of effort, it happened. A chair appeared. It was a simple wooden chair. But all the same, it came from nothing.

“That is so cool.” Shuri breathed, her eyes never leaving the chair.

Okoye hummed to herself, “Could you make a kimoyo beads charging pad? A certain someone forgot hers back home.”

“I don’t know what that is.” Owen admitted, taking a seat on the brand-new chair, “Even if I did, I’m not that great at making electronics. There’s so many working parts, its hard to make ’em so they work. It’s like making a watch, you know?”

Clearly not impressed, Okoye scoffed as she folded her arms across her chest, “What’s the saying… ‘premium steak?’ This isn’t one of those, Uzumaki.”

“What’re you talkin’ about?” Naruto demanded, clapping his hand on the other man’s shoulder, “This guy’s awesome.”

Okoye shrugged, “If you say so, Uzumaki.”

“So, what else can you do?” Shuri asked, clearly curious as she turned fully away from her work on the computer.

Not happy with the attention, Owen shrugged, “I can turn stuff into other things, make ’em disappear, animate objects-”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Shuri waved her hands to stop him, “So, you could make that chair you just made run around and stuff?”

“Sure.” Owen shrugs again.

“Well, go on!” Shuri challenged gleefully, eyes sparkling with wonder.

The smallest of smiles reaches Owen’s face, “Well, sure, I guess.”

Getting up, his left hand was enveloped in the yellow energy. Grabbing the back of the chair, Owen enveloped his energy around it. As the energy disappeared, the chair began to creak.

And with a jump, it was off. Its four legs carried it like it was on fire. It didn’t make it far before running into a support beam, knocking itself over to the ground. On its side, the chair continued to try and run, the legs kicking wildly.

Shuri and Illyana giggled as the chair began to rotate in a circle along the ground. The Naruto clone chuckled along, and Okoye’s stoic façade began to bleed into slight amus.e.m.e.nt.

Owen smiled, stuffing his hands in his pockets as the group watched the chair try and pick itself up.

-x-

Naruto sighs as he and Jessica are dragged into the backstage of the Avengers Tower press briefing room, folding his arms over his chest dejectedly as he waits for whatever it is Tony was announcing.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder, he turns around to find Wanda standing behind him.

“Hey,” Naruto greets with a toothy grin, “What’re you doing here.”

Wanda, her arms folded abrasively, answers, “Stark told me to come. Something about a rebranding.”

“Rebranding?” Jessica asks, butting into the conversation, “As in the Avengers?”

The Maximoff stares her down, “Who are you?” She asks bluntly.

“Jessica Dre-”

“Spider-Woman,” Naruto interrupts merrily, “This is Spider-Woman.”

Blinking, Wanda mutters, “Spider…woman? What is a spider woman, and why is he calling you that?”

Jessica opens and closes her mouth, turning away when she realized she doesn’t have a response.

“Naruto Uzumaki.”

Naruto turns, a man dressed in an Air Force officer’s uniform walking towards. The man reaches his hand out, offering a handshake. Naruto takes the offer, sharing a firm handshake with the man.

“James Rhodes,” Naruto states, “It’s good to finally meet you.”

“Honestly a little surprised you know who I am,” James admits, “Considering the stories I’ve heard, I didn’t think I was on your radar.”

The blonde laughs, “You kidding? Anyone called War Machine is immediately put on my radar. It’s probably the second most badass codename I’ve ever heard.”

“What’s the first?” Jessica asks, off to the side.

“Spider-Woman, of course.”

She groans, “Jesus Christ, will you ever drop that?”

“Not ’til it sticks,” Naruto states lightly.

“Oh, it has,” James joins in, much to Jessica’s dismay.

Murmurs break out from within the briefing room. Looking out onto the stage, Naruto sees Tony walking out from the other side of the backstage. The clicking of cameras and the stilled chatter of the gathered journalists reaches the stage, as the Iron Man reaches the center podium.

Running his hands over the edge of the podium, Tony gives a smile to the crowd, “Good morning, everybody.”

The room goes quiet.

Tony clears his throat, “I think we can skip the decorum and cut right to the chase.”

He stops, working up his courage, “Seven years ago, I stood…sat, in front of a lot of the same people that are here today and told you about an epiphany I had out in that desert. About the realization that I had become a part of a system that was comfortable with zero accountability. I claimed that I had more to offer than just making things that blow up. I promised change. Not just from Stark Industries. But from myself as well. And I thought I had. I became a hero. Saved some lives. Stopped some really bad people from doing some really bad things. I joined a team dedicated to protecting Earth. But, as time went on, as I became more and more comfortable with the ‘new me,’ I started to slip back into old habits. Once again, I became a part of a system that not only was comfortable with zero accountability but scoffed at the very notion that we could do anything wrong. We’re the Avengers, after all.”

Tony pauses, shaking his head with a lost look in his eye, “I watched thousands of people die, with a weapon I created to defend them, and protect them.”

The room somehow grows even quieter, with a stillness so sharp it cut deep.

“I was given a second chance, and I wasted it. I don’t deserve a third. I don’t, no matter how badly I want to make it up to you, I don’t deserve it. Despite that, I’ve been given that chance. Graced with it by the United Nations and the United States Government. A chance to show you that we the Avengers are capable of change, capable of accountability. And so, it is here that I officially announce the registration of the Avengers under the United Nations. We are officially sponsored and monitored under their jurisdiction, and now operate under the supervision of an as of yet unelected panel. We are only to be deployed when and if this panel deems it necessary.”

The silence breaks, as the journalists and reporters begin whispering among each other.

Tony speaks over the crowd, his arms gesturing out widely as he says, “If you all wouldn’t mind welcoming the team’s newest iteration, the Mighty Avengers. This new roster includes James Rhodes, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Dane Whitman.”

From the side of the stage Tony had walked out on, Natasha, sporting a new Black Widow uniform, steps out from behind the curtain. Following close behind her is a slick haired man in his early thirties. The man, forgoing any kind of uniform, is wearing a basic leather jacket and brown pants. Held in his left arm, a black medieval style helmet with yellow trimming along the eyes and mouth. Strapped to his side, an impressive broadsword.

James and Wanda walk past Naruto, joining their teammates on stage, James waving to the crowd while Wanda does her best to get it over with.

Natasha, Dane, James, and Wanda now stand behind Tony, the man bracing himself for the media onslaught.

But it doesn’t come. The audience remains quiet for several moments. Eventually, a lone journalist in the back of the crowd raises his hand. From the back, he shouts, “Where’s Captain America?”

Tony pauses at the question before answering, “I’m sorry to say that Captain Rogers refused to sign-”

The crowd breaks out in a frenzy of discombobulated questions and concerns. Tony, unable to make out a word, looks over to the side of the stage, he and Naruto making eye contact.

The blonde can only give a shrug before Tony looks away, finally able to hear a coherent question.

“What about the Maelstrom? What about Naruto Uzumaki?”

Seeing that as his que, Naruto takes a deep breath in before walking out onto the stage, a wave of flashing lights greeting him.