Natasha the Halve - 101 – Let me tell you about the drip.

Yolin was reading a book while lazying on the bed. She glanced at us then went back to reading. “Back already? That was fast,” she commented and flipped a page.

“Yeah,” I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “Had a letter from Nilenna to the King,” I explained and undressed to my underwear. “The celebratory event is in two days,” I informed her.

She nodded.

I stood up and turned to Pokora. “Do you have formal wear?”

The Archer shook her head. “The gear you gave me in Lakeview is the best I have right now,” she explained with a shrug. “I’ve never had the need to dress up.”

I hummed in understanding and gave her a look-over, holding my chin.

The Elf wore her usual black sleeveless shirt, brownish leather pants, and black sandals.

“You have no style… or sense of fashion,” I pointed out, gesturing at her clothes.

Pokora scoffed. “Well, that depen-” she began.

“No no,” I interrupting her, waving a finger. “That wasn’t a question.”

Her eyebrows went up and she squinted at me. “Did you just do that?” she chuckled.

“I did,” I confirmed with a smile.

“Well…” she mocked, but glanced at Yolin and cut the sentence short. “What do you recommend?”

“Hmm…” I thought for a second. “What’s your opinion on skirts?”

“Ugh,” Pokora groaned with a scowl. “Not a fan.”

“Same,” Yolin commented from the bed.

The Elf smiled and nodded in satisfaction at the Oni’s words, resting her hands on her hips.

“Do Elmari Elves have Ezh’de?” I inquired, recalling Lapia’s traditional clothes.

“We do,” Pokora replied with a shrug. “I don’t have one with me since they’re not that good to move around in.”

“I see,” I muttered and circled her. “What would you like to wear, then?”

“How formal is the event?” She inquired.

“Dress to impress,” I replied with a sigh. “We should look imposing… whatever that means.”

“Then why not wear armor?” she suggested, arching an eyebrow.

“I don’t think looking ready for battle is a sensitive choice,” I argued, then circled her again. “I am not wearing armor, that’s for sure.”

“But that’s the formal attire of Halves,” Yolin pointed out from the bed. “Tradition and all that.”

“I don’t plan on standing up all day,” I calmly explained, raising my eyebrows. “My armor does have weight-nullifying enchantments, but I weigh half a tonne. Besides, the armor itself looks heavy and I don’t want people to go ‘Her Excellency needs a special chair’ or some stupid shit like that.”

“Yeah…” Yolin slowly nodded. “I can see that happening.”

“Besides,” I began with a smirk. “People expect me to wear armor and will be impressed or surprised when they see me wearing something else.”

“Or disappointed…” Pokora teased me.

I turned to her and shrugged, then chuckled, “They can go fuck themselves if that’s the case.”

“Yaas!” The Elf joked, even doing the hand gestures.

“Like, o-m-g! Girlboss!” I imitated her while laughing.

“What the fuck?” Yolin muttered. “Why do I suddenly want to punch you?”

I turned to her and laughed again. “Don’t worry, that’s a normal reaction.”

“Please don’t do that again,” the tank begged while cringing.

I chuckled and nodded, then turned back to Pokora. “So, what will it be? I have almost everything you could think of.”

The Archer thought for a second, then nodded. “A dress would be nice,” she concluded.

“Alright,” I agreed and retrieved formal dresses from my inventory.

Hundreds of them.

Of all the colors and variations possible.

Pokora’s eyes widened to the limit at the sheer amount of outfits.

Costumes are justice, after all.

It took us two hours to find the perfect fit for Pokora along with matching sandals since high heels ‘can go die in a ditch’ according to her.

Every time she put a dress on, she’d ask how it looked until Yolin gave a verdict… which was fair all things considered. I wasn’t an expert on Galeian formal wear, after all.

She ended up choosing a backless, low cut teal dress that matched her snow-white skin really well. The garment hugged her body and ended below the knees with an open slit on the side. The material was a really high quality velvet. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to say it was worthy of the red carpet.

The sandals were flat and black, which went well with her pitch black hair.

I looked her up and down and nodded a few times. “Really nice,” I praised her. “You look stunning.”

“Thanks,” she replied with a smile, checking herself on the bathroom’s full body mirror.

“That looks really good on you, Pokora,” Yolin complimented her, having joined us halfway through. “You look beautiful.”

Pokora blushed up to the ears and gave my girlfriend a shy smile. “You think so?” she prodded, then spun around a few times.

“You do,” I assured her with a smile.

“Mhm.” The Archer nodded and looked at her reflection.

I arched an eyebrow at the insipid reaction.

“I’m sure you’ll stand out with how dazzling you look,” Yolin complimented her again.

She wasn’t exaggerating, though.

Pokora smiled widely and she giggled while straightening the outfit. Her blush extended down her neck and she bit her lower lip. “Thank you, Yolin,” she cheerfully replied.

I blinked a few times and tilted my head. No way, I thought with an amused smile. “You keeping that one?” I probed and leaned on the bathroom wall behind me. “There’s more to-”

“Yeah, this one,” Pokora replied with certainty. “Definitely this one,” she insisted.

COINCIDENTALY, that was the dress Yolin had complimented the most.

No matter what I said, if Yolin didn’t like it, Pokora would go to the next one.

Hmm… I puckered my lips and pinched them with my thumb and index finger. Interesting.

“You have good taste,” Yolin laughed.

I glanced at the Oni. “What will you wear?” I inquired.

Pokora turned her attention from the mirror to my girlfriend.

“Formal Clergy clothes from my country,” Yolin replied with a shrug.

“Can we see?” I requested, fully interested in seeing my girlfriend wearing different clothes.

“Sure,” the Oni complied with a nod.

Her shirt and shorts vanished and were replaced with a complex outfit. The top was a white, loose, long-sleeved thing that closed right above her stomach, leaving a deep v-neck. The fabric looked like silk and had a golden pattern similar to her tattoos along with Danuva’s familiar eye symbol on her back. The bottom garment was a loose pair of black shorts that ended right below her knees, also carrying the tattoo’s pattern in gold. A pair of white sandals protected her feet.

“Red Island has really warm weather with high humidity so this outfit was made with that in mind,” the Oni explained, showing the outfit off. “I wore this a lot after leaving home,” she reminisced with a smile.

The ensemble looked pretty formal all things considered, but not Royal Banquet levels of formal. She looked like a samurai from an anime with too much fanservice.

“That’s so cool!” Pokora cheered with a huge smile. “You look so… I don’t know… Oni!”

The tank and I gave the Archer a confused look.

“I am an Oni,” Yolin pointed out with a chuckle. “I don’t know if this fits the event, however,” she muttered and changed clothes.

“Do you have something else?” I tentatively asked. “It looks great on you, don’t get me wrong…”

“I know,” the Oni laughed. “It’s the best I have, though.”

Pokora turned to me with wide eyes. “The fuck you on about?” she demanded. “She looks badass as Hell!”

“Hell is not badass,” I pointed out, then turned to Yolin. “And yeah, it makes you look rough and tough.”

She looked at me, then at Pokora, then back at me. “You told her about Hell?”

“I did,” I admitted with a nod. “Only the four of you know.”

“Anyway,” Pokora interjected with a bit too much enthusiasm. “That outfit looks really good on you, Yolin. Like, seriously good!”

“Thank you,” she chuckled. “But it doesn’t cut it.”

I nodded. “How about a suit?” I offered. “I’ll wear one, too.”

Pokora was silent for a few seconds.

“Sounds good to me,” the Oni agreed with a big smile.

“I support suits,” the Elf finalized with a series of nods.

“Let’s get to it, then,” I declared, then walked to the bed and stored all the dresses.

That time, the search for a good fit was shorter since suits aren’t as varied as dresses, which is an affront to fashion.

I chose a sleeveless, red shirt that complimented my golden skin pretty good, a black vest with golden buttons, white pants, a white tie, and black shoes. The pants hugged my muscular legs pretty comfortably, leaving enough room for movement.

The clothes had a stamped pattern with LV all over the inside.

Yolin went with the same as me but with a golden shirt.

The clothes turned out to be an absolute success in my humble opinion. We are pretty fit so the fabrics had no trouble when it came to accentuating our strong bodies.

“How is it?” I asked Pokora while checking the clothes for anything out of the ordinary.

“You look like the owners of the underworld,” she muttered in shock.

I chuckled and gave Yolin a look.

A woman in a suit? That’s always nice. A muscular woman in a suit? Even better. A muscular woman with red skin, horns, and white hair in a suit? The weakness of all who breathe. A muscular woman with red skin, horns, and white hair who also likes to cuddle while sleeping and has a carefree attitude about life and is always laughing and smiling? A blessing on this world.

And that woman is my girlfriend.

My secret plan of wanting to see Yolin in a suit was a glorious success.

Yolin gave me a look and smiled.

“You look hot,” we both said at the same time, then laughed.

The bedroom door opened and Alyssa walked in followed by Lapia.

Both stopped dead in their tracks and their eyes widened to the limit at seeing us.

Alyssa covered her mouth and blushed.

Lapia smirked with her usual mischievous smile. “Which God should we thank for this treat?” she joked with a chuckle.

“By the Gods,” Alyssa exclaimed in surprise. “You look… wow.”

My face heated up and I giggled. “Do we look imposing?” I inquired, standing with confidence and putting on a serious face.

Yolin imitated me, standing next to me and resting an arm on my shoulder.

“Holy shit,” Pokora blurted out with a deep blush.

“You look like the Age is about to change,” Lapia teased with a chuckle. “I’m definitely eating you two up tonight.”

We all laughed at that.

Alyssa approached Pokora and gave her a warm smile. “You look beautiful, Pokh’Orra,” she complimented her.

“You do,” the Wizard joined, walking up to her. She winked and chuckled, “I could eat you up as well.”

Pokora blushed and laughed, “Thank you.”

Lapia walked to the bed and sat on it. “When is the event?”

“In two days,” I replied, adjusting my tie. “Do you two have formal clothes?”

“Not of that quality,” Alyssa answered, walking up to me and feeling the fabric. “Unless you count the gear you gave me.”

I remembered my chat with the Queen and caressed the Luzo’s cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll make you glow,” I assured her with my most charming smile.

Her scarlet eyes widened a little and her deep purple blush covered every centimeter of visible skin. Then, she gave me a big smile and nodded.

“Such a line while wearing such an outfit?” Lapia whistled. “That’s a sneak attack, Natasha.”

“Fuck off,” I giggled and rustled the Elf’s hair.

She laughed and leaned back on the bed to escape the attack.

I felt my hair moving and looked back.

Pokora had grabbed the end of it and was inspecting it. “A haircut would do you wonders,” she suggested.

I slowly turned to her with a serious face. “I will never cut my hair,” I told her with finality, then equipped a black jacked that had ‘By any means necessary’ written all over it.

The Archer’s eyes widened and she burst in laughter.

Biggest-Kusa-Out-There

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