Natasha the Halve - 104 – Poko-Poko is a bit of a pain in the ass.

Pokora opened the door to the apartment and we went inside.

Bromisnar, Elena, and Thelea were chatting in the living room.

The Goliath turned to us and raised an eyebrow.

I looked around but didn’t find my girlfriends.

“Let me guess,” Bromisnar began with an amused smile. “Bonte went to sneak around on his own?”

“Not on his own, but yeah,” I replied with a nod. “We met someone who agreed to help. She’s a Scout too so they decided to gather info together.”

Thelea stood up and walked to me, crossed her arms under her chest, then looked down at me. “Is it dangerous?”

“Nah,” I replied with a shake of my head. “It’s a bit complicated, but it should be easy for him.”

She squinted her eyes at me. “Mind telling me what’s so complicated?”

“Sure, let’s take a seat first,” I offered. “I’m in the mood for alcohol.”

She nodded.

Pokora chuckled and moved to the table followed by Thelea.

I produced three bottles of vodka and placed them on the table, then sat down.

“Where’s Yolin and company?” Pokora asked while pouring herself a glass.

“Sleeping,” Thelea replied, producing a large glass that fit her size. “Said they needed to recover four days worth of rest.”

“I see,” I hummed.

Natural, after all.

Thelea waited for me to pour a glass and take a sip.

“Ah,” I sighed. “That’s the good stuff.”

“So,” Thelea gestured for me to explain.

“First of all,” I began, looking into the Goliath’s eyes. “Bonte is an independent man.”

Pokora nodded.

Thelea arched an eyebrow. “I’m aware of that.”

“Good. So, here’s what’s happening,” I sighed and explained. “A few weeks ago we were in Lakeview enjoying a relaxing evening. Someone poisoned my drink with nikontia. Turns out, a Changeling was behind it. A waitress got arrested, trialed, then sentenced because she helped in trying to kill me by using a child.”

Thelea nodded. “Right.”

I took a sip and continued. “Fast forward, we got here and I went to help the King. I killed a Demon and the issue got resolved. Last week someone informed me of a missing woman that the Watchers were unable to find. I initially had the wrong impression that the Demon had replaced the individual. It would have been pretty obvious if that was the case.”

“True,” Thelea agreed and drank some.

I continued, “I went to the family of the missing person to see what’s what. Turns out, Ines, the missing woman, was involved with a group of Changelings. That would’ve been fine and all, but Pokora noticed someone eavesdropping on us. Bonte went to check and returned with a Scout who introduced herself as Hanna. Turns out, this Hanna had been gathering information about the Changelings that Ines was meeting. She had evidence on her end that these Changelings were the same that tried to kill me. She also had evidence that they tried to kill King Gordon.”

Thelea cleared her throat. “Not really a surprise,” she commented.

“Right,” I agreed with a nod. “So, I asked Hanna if she could find Ines. Bonte tagged along.”

“Ah, I see,” Thelea muttered and took a sip.

I blinked a few times. “Cool.”

“I thought you send him to a den of high leveled criminals,” the Goliath chuckled. “But he wanted to help however he can. That’s cool of him.”

“I wouldn’t, and yeah,” I agreed. Well… I thought she’d be a bitch about it.

Pokora nodded and brought the glass to her lips, then drank a little. She let out a small sigh and licked her lips.

I noticed I was staring and focused on my drink, taking a long gulp.

Thelea finished her drink and stood up. “The alcohol was nice, thanks,” she said and went back to Bromisnar and Elena.

I took out my art supplies and busied myself with coloring Lapia’s drawing with the flowers on the background.

Pokora hummed, then moved to the seat next to mine. She peeked at the sketchbook and nodded. “Still drawing?”

“That’s right,” I confirmed, coloring Lapia’s skin.

She took a sip and fixed her posture on the chair. “Do you mind if I watch?”

“Go ahead,” I replied and continued, coloring Lapia’s clothes.

“Awesome,” she giggled. “I always like your art style.”

I smiled. “Thank you. When did you find my art?”

She thought for a second, taking a sip. “Around 2025, I think. I saw one of your not safe for work pieces and followed you on social media.”

That got me thinking for a few seconds. “Wait… you were 21 when you won the gold medal in archery… that was 2032…”

“…” she was silent for a few seconds. “Yeeaah… about that…”

I sighed. “Well, whatever. I knew minors followed me and tried to block as many as I could. Can’t really police everything,” I muttered and shook my head.

She chuckled. “For what it’s worth, your art made me realize I’m bi,” she pointed out.

I nodded, a little relieved and a bit complicated. “I’m glad it helped you.”

“Like, the way you drew men was so fucking good,” she recalled. “You didn’t do that faceless bullshit most artists did.”

“Mhm.” I nodded.

“And you didn’t make it like… POV either, which was really nice,” she added. “If I had the money I would have commissioned some.”

“You can now,” I pointed out, coloring the flowers. “For free, too.”

She perked up. “Seriously?”

I looked up at her and nodded. “Yeah,” I chuckled.

Pokora had a big smile on her face. “Alright, I have a few ideas,” she cheerfully blurted out.

I smiled and flipped the page of the sketchbook. “Alright, shoot.”

She thought for a second, and a small blush covered her face. “Okay so, an Oni.”

My eyebrows climbed my forehead. “…Alright… Male, female, androgynous, or…?”

“Female,” she decided with a big nod. “And like, a big tomboy.”

My lips curled up and I nodded, taking notes. “Sure… what else?”

“…White hair…” she mumbled.

I held back a laugh. “Long, short, curly, wavy, how white?”

Pokora gulped alcohol. “Short, with bangs, and done in a ponytail,” she muttered. “Snow white hair.”

I smacked my lips. “Got it. Is this Oni a Galeian Oni or…?”

She cleared her throat. “Uh… yeah… Galeian Oni.”

I nodded. “Does this Oni have any defining features?” I teased her. “Like blue eyes for example? Or tattoos? Maybe she wears a chest wrap instead of shirts most of the time?”

Pokora’s blush reached her long ears. “Uh… sure… let’s go with that,” she hesitantly replied.

“Mhm,” I hummed and my smile widened. “You mentioned this Oni is a big tomboy. Does that mean she’s muscular in some way?”

She nodded.

“Like, abs that you could grind tungsten against?” I probed with a cheeky tone.

“Definitely,” she agreed with a series of nods.

“A bit like mine?” I teased her.

“Nah,” she denied with a shake of her head. “You have ten-pack abs. She has eight-pack abs.”

“I see,” I chuckled at her eye for detail. “What else should we give this Oni?”

“Horns,” she pointed out.

“Naturally,” I agreed. “And these horns would be short and smooth, right?”

“R-right,” she stuttered.

“That sounds like a really attractive Oni,” I pointed out with a big smile.

Pokora looked me in the eye and then down at her glass. “She is,” she admitted and her blush intensified.

Is this how she tells me she likes Yolin? I wondered, staring at the Elf. I moved the sketchbook to the side and rested my elbow on the table, then my cheek on my hand. “Is there anything you’d like to ask or tell me, Pokora? And I mean anything.”

Pokora’s eyes darted to mine and then back at the glass. She cleared her throat and brought the glass to her mouth, only to find it empty. She clicked her tongue and looked away. “How… uh…”

That was kinda cute, I thought, then took a bottle and poured us another glass. “How what?”

She took the glass and downed half of it. “Haaah… How does you relationship work?”

“Hmm.” I thought for a second and took a sip. “Can you be more specific?”

Pokora took a deep breath and thought for a second. “If, hypothetically speaking, for the sole purpose of discussion,” she began.

I raised an eyebrow at that.

“How would someone enter your relationship?” She asked while staring at her glass. Then shrugged and pointed out, “I mean, there’s four of you.”

I nodded and decided to humor her. “Well, the four of us would have to agree unanimously. When Yolin joined us, Alyssa and Lapia were okay with her and so was I. We smooched and she joined.” I shrugged. “Pretty simple in my opinion.”

“Y-you kissed?” She asked in surprise.

I smiled. “Yep, Yolin kissed the three of us… then we held hands!”

Pokora laughed, then sighed in relief. “I see…”

“Anything else?” I probed.

“W-well…” she hesitated, then avoided my eyes. “Did you… fuck right away?”

“No,” I seriously replied. “But I did get fucked by Lapia before we started dating. Alyssa joined us the same day and we had a threesome that night.”

Pokora’s eyes widened. “You… by Lapia?” She repeated in confusion.

I nodded. “Yeah, back then it was mostly her fucking me silly. Now, though,” I chuckled and left it to her imagination.

She hummed and nodded. “If, say… someone approached one of your girlfriends… and, you know… with romantic intentions. Would you get angry?”

I sighed and drank my entire glass, then looked her in the eye until she looked back. “Not if it’s you, Pokora.”

She scoffed and looked down at her glass. “What do you mean?” She deflected.

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, woman. You like Yolin,” I pointed out in a gentle tone.

“No?” She tried to deny it, blushing like mad and averting her eyes.

“Look,” I began, pouring more alcohol. “I’ll be honest. You’re an amazing woman, Pokora. I told you before and I’ll say it again. I admire you. You’ve succeeded with your own efforts and you’ve made something great out of yourself. I don’t know if I would be even half of what you are if I was in your position.”

She slowly nodded and a smile formed on her face. “Thank you,” she muttered in a quiet voice.

“You’re welcome,” I giggled. “So, how about we’re honest here? I’m not going to get mad. If I was a jealous woman, do you think I could be in poly relationship?”

She lifted her eyebrows and wobbled her head. “I don’t think the two are connected.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, “But you get my point, right?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed.

“So you like Yolin. Honestly, who wouldn’t?” I chuckled.

“True,” she laughed with a smile, then let out a long sigh. “Yeah… I like Yolin.”

“Good,” I praised with a big smile. “Now you have to tell her.”

Her eyes jumped to meet mine. “What?” She blurted out, a little panicked.

I facepalmed. “Come on, Pokora… You’re forty-nine years old for fuck’s sake.”

“Do you know what being a kissless virgin for that long does to a woman?” She hissed. “It’s fucking hard! And my head is full of hormones!”

“Things are not that complicated, Pokora!” I hissed back, making sure the three chatting in the living room didn’t hear. “You just ask her out and tell her you like her!”

She glared at me. “What about you?”

“What about me?” I shrugged.

“You’ll be my girlfriend too, won’t you?” She pointed out in exasperation.

“Yes, but you telling Yolin you like her comes first, you moron!” I pointed out, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“But what if she says no?” Pokora demanded.

“HOLY FUCK!” I shouted and covered my face with both hands, then let out a long and loud sigh.

“Shhh!” Pokora slapped the back of my head. “Keep it down!”

I shook my head and started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Don’t you fucking laugh, Natasha…” Pokora warned me. “It took a lot to tell you this.”

I sighed and nodded. “I’m not laughing at you, Pokora,” I explained. “Just how silly all this sounds.”

“How is this silly?” She asked in confusion.

I looked her in the eye. “You realize that if this turns out as a success, we’ll end up fucking eventually, right? Feeling mushy for each other? Cuddling, showering together, good morning kisses, me pounding you, you pounding me with a strap-on, all that?”

Pokora’s eyes widened and her face turned red as a tomato. Her ears twitched once and she cleared her throat. “I’m aware,” she muttered.

“What?” I taunted with a smirk. “Scared of the big futa cock?”

She nodded. “Actually, yeah… a little.”

My smile vanished. “Oh,” I uttered and felt my face burn. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she chuckled. “But it’s too big for me, I think.”

I nodded. “We’ll eventually find out, I guess,” I muttered. “Anyway. Back to you telling Yolin you like her.”

Pokora cleared her throat and nodded. “Right.”

“Tomorrow you-” I began.

“Tomorrow?!” She interrupted, panicking a little.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I’ll borrow your words from earlier: Wouldn’t it be better to get this over with as fast as possible?”

“I mean…” she hesitated.

“Fuck me back to Hell,” I sighed and shook my head. “Tomorrow you’ll ask Yolin out. Did you have a girlfriend before?”

Pokora nodded.

“Same deal, but it’s a 202 year old, carefree woman,” I pointed out. “Simple as.”

Pokora thought for a second, then looked into my eye. “How about you tell her and she-”

“Fuck off, Pokora,” I groaned. “Be an adult, alright?”

She sighed, “Fine.”

“You’re fucking difficult to deal with,” I muttered.

“Told you. Hormones and shit,” she mumbled. “This is so weird.”

“What is?” I probed and drank directly from the bottle to fight the forming headache.

“We’ll be girlfriends and you’re giving me advice on how to get with your girlfriend,” she explained.

I chuckled. “Anything to tap that Elmari Elf pussy.”

She covered her mouth and held back a laugh. “That came out so creepy…”

“That was the point,” I pointed out and drank more.

A knock coming from the door made me turn. That was fast, I considered and went to see.

A Faeton Elf wearing an exquisite suit was standing in the corridor.

Who the fuck? I wondered.

Biggest-Kusa-Out-There

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