Natasha the Halve - 111 – Where is the lamb sauce?

Cooking is an essential skill. Every single adult should know how to make at least five dishes in my opinion. Unfortunately, I only know how to make one proper meal: Okroshka. Pancakes don’t count.

Naturally, simple pasta doesn’t count either.

But then… what is a proper meal?

To answer that question, I first ask this: What is a balanced diet?

Pizza every day is not healthy. It’s okay once a month. Burgers, fried food, and oily food in general should be a treat, not a norm.

I have been called a no-fun-bitch because of this. Some would point out I died too young and should’ve enjoyed good food more often. I have no regrets about that, though.

A healthy lifestyle is crucial to achieve happiness, however small.

Dying at age forty due to a heart-attack is not something anyone should go through when it comes to diet and healthy habits. Food is medicine, after all.

A balanced diet is something a lot of people would argue is expensive. Fruits and vegetables got too expensive after 2025, almost quadrupling in price worldwide. The key is to research, however boring that sounds, and look for good substitutes.

So, a proper meal should contain at least five ingredients.

Fortunately… or unfortunately depending on how it’s viewed, I never had the need to tip my toes in the culinary world. It could be said I was a lazy adult… and I blame that on pandemics.

Now, however, I can freely stroll around the city and purchase fresh, unpolluted ingredients.

Where am I going with this?

I don’t know how to cook, and I want to change that. I have time to learn, and food is cheap in Lumin Kingdom.

After Lapia fell asleep on my lap, I gave the Corvitex book another read until lunch time came.

Alyssa woke Lapia up and announced she was making lunch.

That was my chance, so I followed the Luzo to the kitchen.

She checked the pantry and put ingredients on the counter, then turned around. Her eyes widened a little in surprise at seeing me right behind her. “Ah,” she uttered, then smiled. “Want to help?”

I nodded. “What do you need?”

Alyssa scratched her chin while thinking. “Meat,” she replied. “We have some in the refrigerator but its frozen. Do you still have some Uger meat?”

“I do,” I confirmed. “How much do we need?”

She walked to the counter and poured the ingredients in different bowls. “Five kilos,” was her answer. “Wash your hands first.”

“Alright,” I sighed and did as told, then fetched a cutting board and put the meat on it. “What should I do now?”

“Make sure they’re the same cut,” she chuckled, then pulled out a big pot from a cabinet, then placed it on top of the oven.

I stared at the meat in front of me. How do I tell the difference? I wondered, moving the pieces around. Well, as long as they all look the same it should be fine… right? I concluded and engaged in the mini-game of matching meat types. After around ten minutes, and going over a few hundred kilos of meat, I found ten similar pieces with a spine-like bone in the middle.

Bonte’s work is quite precise, I noticed. They were all the same size and had very little fat.

“You done?” Alyssa asked, standing next to me. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest and an amused smile on her face.

I gave her a nod and gestured at the meat. “Are these okay? I don’t know how to tell cuts apart…”

The Luzo picked them up one by one. “Yep. Good job,” she praised and kissed my cheek.

This cooking business is pretty fun… I thought with a smile.

Alyssa took a bowl with flour and used her hands to cover the meat with it. She looked at me and smiled. “Cut the onions,” she instructed me.

“Right.” I picked the blue onion and produced a legendary dagger.

“With a regular knife,” the Luzo added, giving me a look.

I nodded and stored the dagger, then grabbed a knife from the table, peeled the onion, then quickly cut it.

“Do you know why told you to use a regular knife?” Alyssa inquired, having finished her thing and putting the meat in the pot.

A nice sizzling sound came from the pot.

“Uh…” I thought for a second, then remembered what Lapia told me when we made breakfast. “Because a regular knife can’t cut me, and a Legendary dagger may?”

She nodded, then stared at the perfectly minced onion. “That was pretty fast,” she praised.

I gave her a triumphant smile. “I can do a thing or two,” I chuckled.

“Now peel the garlic,” she instructed and put pepper in the pot.

I nodded and grabbed the garlic, then squeezed it in my hand. I plucked the garlic cloves from between the peels and put them close to the pot.

She nodded and grabbed a purple vegetable, cut it in half, and placed it on my side of the counter. “Slice these,” she instructed.

I did and waited.

A very appetizing smell came from the pot, tickling my senses.

She picked a black thing and started cutting it. She gestured at some red, long vegetabled. “Now slice those peppers.”

“Okay,” I replied and cut them in thin rings.

Alyssa kept putting ingredients in the pot while giving me instructions.

After a few minutes she took the meat out onto a plate.

It had a very beautiful brown color to it, and the smell was something that could wake the dead.

The Luzo continued to put ingredients in the pot, then waited for a little bit.

The sizzling and the smell intensified and filled the apartment.

“Now we put the meat back in,” she announced and did so, then added more ingredients.

I gulped at the rich fragrance. “That smells incredible.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Alyssa giggled and gave me another kiss on the cheek. “Now we make the salad.”

I nodded. “Alright.”

The woman took small, red vegetables and separated them from the leaves they had. “Wash these,” she instructed, moving the green things my way.

I did as told and watched her for a bit.

Alyssa’s hands moved precisely and quickly. Her long, clawed fingers helped her a ton when holding things down to keep them from slipping away. Her instruction were clear and easy to follow, and she didn’t give me tasks that required knowing proper amounts of ingredients. It was either cut this, slice that, wash that, peel that, ready that, etcetera.

The salad was surprisingly simple to make, and it was finished in under two minutes.

“Now we wait for the meat,” Alyssa informed me and leaned on the counter.

“That’s it?” I asked, a little surprised.

She nodded. “Cooking is simple,” she replied.

I nodded approvingly, then gave her a hug. “Where did you learn this dish?”

“Down south, in Camaz, a Human country,” she answered. “Around… forty-two years ago.”

“I see.” I nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “It smells delicious.”

“I learned it from a friend during a dungeon delve. I was around level one hundred and twenty….” she recalled with a smile. “It took me a full hour to fully heal someone back then.”

I blinked a few times in confusion. “That long?”

“That’s how long it takes, usually. Especially at that level,” she confirmed.

“Is that why it takes too long to go up in levels?” I inquired, resting my forehead on hers.

She nodded. “Pretty much.”

“What’s that delicious smell?” Lapia walked to us and joined the hug.

“The result of a joint effort,” I joked.

Lapia gave me a suspicious look, then turned to Alyssa. “You didn’t let her use fire, salt, sugar, or anything… right?”

The Luzo shook her head. “Nope. That’s dangerous.”

My eyebrows climbed my forehead. “I’m right here…”

“I left cutting, washing, and slicing to her,” Alyssa continued. “I guess she doesn’t know the difference between salt and sugar yet.”

“Hey…” I complained at the unfair remarks.

“She’s improving… little by little…” Lapia sighed.

“I can’t believe a woman her age doesn’t know how to cook…” Alyssa lamented.

It was my turn to sigh. “Fair…”

Lapia chuckled, followed by Alyssa giggling.

“By the way…” the Elf began, raising an eyebrow and smirking. “Did you see Pokora leave with Yolin?”

“I did,” the Luzo nodded. “About time, if you ask me.”

Lapia and I tilted out heads at the same time.

“You knew?” The Wizard asked in surprise.

“No,” the healer denied. “But come on, it was pretty obvious.”

It was my turn to be surprised. “How?”

Alyssa left the hug and gave us a smug smile. “You seem to be too focused on carnal desire, my dears…”

“Wait,” Lapia raised a hand. “I thought Pokora had the hots for Natasha.”

I gave Lapia a doubtful look.

The Luzo nodded. “Well, she does.”

I whipped my head to Alyssa. “She does?!”

Both turned to me and raised an eyebrow.

“Really, Natasha?” Lapia demanded.

“Wait.” I shook my head. “What makes you say Pokora has the hots for me?”

Alyssa wobbled her head a few times. “Well, she gives you this longing look. Like she desires something.”

I thought for a few seconds. “Ah…” I uttered. “Yeah… I get how you’d think that…” Pokora may wish for me to be more Earth-like. Probably. I don’t really know. Maybe there’s a disconnect in some way, shape, or form. If she had the hots for me, she’d say it… and it’d be pretty obvious with how hormone-riddled she’s at the moment, I concluded. I’m not that dense, after all.

Lapia gave me a suspicious look again. “What does that mean?”

Alyssa turned to me as well, waiting for an answer.

I scoffed and used the Luzo’s words.. “You seem to be too focused on carnal desire, my dears.”

Right on cue, the pot started boiling.

“Lunch is ready,” I pointed out with a smug grin. “We’ll continue this later…”