Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 12

I’ll be damn, he does have a fendom collection under his bed. I stretch my arm and pull the magazines and CDs out. The first thing I see is shiny feet and a woman smugging. The tagline, ‘Crushing you with your bosses foot.’ and this is just the Vol. 3. As I slowly put each of them on the ‘checked pile,’ it gets me thinking: how old fashion is this kind of thing. I mean who buy porn magazine and CDs any more when you can enjoy anything online?

Acadasia, I’d never expected you to legalized pornography.

I open a case and the golden disc reflecting my eyes. Unconsciously, my eyes dart to the disc player installed on the PC. But with a sigh, I close the container. Lilly said she’d be back sooner so I might have just watch–I mean, study the video later. There’s always much time for me.

I walk outside my room and hug the whole living room again–the hanging television, white couches, glasses table, and even the vases of plant resting under the two-panel windows. I turn the AC off with a remote and turn it on again. Turn it off again. On.

It strikes me, I don’t have anything to do. I did check my phone (yes, the pin is also the room’s passcode) and luckily enough the old user had noted a bunch of information about his identity. Bank account, the person he met, and his family’s whereabouts. But then the phone was out of charge and shut downed. So I’m charging it in my room, leaving me playing with the AC.

What can I do now? This is not boredom, but confusion. If I’m bored then I can go just watch porn. But then again, I get to be alive not for myself, She made it apparent, I’m here for the girls. And they only happen in the reconcile room, when the school opens. Mei, Shizuka, Carrie and Claire. They were my purpose. And without them, I’m just a body standing under the AC.

But that’s not stopping me from thinking about what can I do now. A minute after mulling and shivering, I turn off the AC and walk into the kitchen.

The refrigerator coughs out clouds as I take out an orange juice. I like orange juice. Sucking it in as if my mother’s tit, I find myself wandering around the place and stop to stare at the door with a panda’s face hanging. I put Lilly’s bag beside the door, knowing that there’s no other room other than mine, this must be her room.

My hand tries to reach the silver knob but then I change my mind. I’m living with a girl now. I’m not sure if I want to use the ‘I’m your brother so it’s not weird’ excuse.

One, she may be a sister on the paper, but to me, she never is but just a fourteen years old girl.

Two, I’m not that degenerate to consent with sexualizing a middle schooler but still…

How long would my morality take to hold?

The entrance door beeped open and Lilly’s voice fill the room, “I’m back.”

I meet her in the living room. Behind her slumping posture is a girl of white hair. Very familiar indeed. She looks like the girl who stabs me the first few hours I got this body. But her eyes were of human as it catches mine. She bows.

Lilly waves her hand, seeing her friend being polite to me. “Oh, don’t bother, this guy doesn’t respect the concept of respect.

“And you,” she jabs a finger at me, “don’t stare at my friend like that. Have your perverting evolve?”

I shake my head, not yet. “It’s just I’ve seen her somewhere before.”

“Wha–” She turns to her friend, “have you also saw my brother somewhere, Oya?”

Oya? So that’s her name. Oya tilts her head as she stares at me, “Yes. I’ve met him in front of Acadasia High School this evening on my way to meet my sister. I’m sorry,” she says to me, “that my pencil stabbed you that time.”

It wasn’t a pencil that killed me.

Lilly turns to her friend with a huff, “what did I say about running around with your pencil. It was lucky that you stabbed my brother and not anyone else, almost hard to believe. You did go for half an hour to meet your nurse sister. What a chance that you met my stupid brother.”

Oya gives me a smile. The same smile that Life gave me.

The urge to ask her what she’s trying to do pretending to be human and befriend Lilly, is close enough to blurt.

But Lilly acts first. She wraps her hand over Oya’s (guess we call her that) and pulled her into her bedroom. She kicks in her bag before closing the door. Twenty or fewer seconds later, Lilly steps out. Door close.

Glares.

“What?” I say.

“Don’t be weird.”

“Am I being weird?”

“You always are…but tonight you seem different.”

No shit, I’m a completely different person, Lilly. But I have to give her another answer, “Maybe because I got accept as a tutor in Acadasia High School.”

That wasn’t a joke but Lilly guffaws girly and punches my shoulder manly, “You sure did, Wen. Your joke is funny as usual.” She clears her throat of sarcasm, “I’m taking a bath now, don’t have time to hear your ‘not serious’ claim.”

“But I’m serious,” I say, scratching my chin.

Lilly and I have a few seconds of staring at each other, sending back and forth trust signal probably. I don’t know how but I let the body do it on its own as sometimes this does work.

And it worked. Lilly’s jaws drop and her eyes widen, “holy shit, you’re serious. How?”

I shrug, “luck and charm I guess.”

Lilly doesn’t seem to be please with my bare answer, “look, those negative girls are not to be shitting with or easy to deal with. They were rumors around even in my middle school. Idols! I’ve heard how picky are they on choosing tutors, constantly changing them as if they’re clothes. They even got to vote who can be their tutor now,” Lilly takes a breath, expanding her flat chest, “and you’re like…the first-ever male tutor to be let in the program. I thought you’re not seriously going to commit to them, you know? Heck, even male tutor is hard to believe.”

“Maybe that’s why…because I’m a male.” I smile charmingly.

But her already sharp eyes squint, “but you’re not even good looking.”

Am I not? I think I look great anyway.

For the first time, her thin lips were happy. “Heh, don’t expect any admiration from me. You’re still that idiotic brother of mine.”

Our spacing eyes locked.

“Move,” she says.

“Why.”

“Move, I want to take a bath idiot.”

“Oh, sure.” I step away.

She brushes past me with a final warning, “don’t do anything stupid.”

She left for a bath.

Anything stupid, huh. I don’t think I would do that but who knows what’s her definition of stupidity. She could mean locking instead of killing criminals is stupid. Or cats are better than dogs. Or her brother takes the advantage of her absence and turns around, starts knocking on her door just to call her friend who’s staying over; who’s actually are not human.

Oya opens the door with a completely shifted expression. Her smile etches to the point I imagine she widens it by cutting her cheek.

“You have a question,” she says.

A door close behind me, I hope Lilly would take a long bath because talking with Life and Death is difficult as anyone wants to find their meaning. I start with, “you’re Life.”

“Obviously.”

I look over her white head. The bedroom is all messy with papers and books. “But now you’re Oya, a good friend of my sister.”

Oya giggles, “have you already attach to her for you call her your sister?”

No, I don’t think so. I merely said the word. She cuts my reply, “no need to answer. If you have to know, I’m not pretending to be a human. This is one of my thousand forms, a human.”

“Sounds like you have a lot of…you.”

She nods, “Nurses. Cats.Parents. Teachers. Police. Politician. Murderer. I am them–you can almost find me anywhere in the world. If you’re worried about me planning something to do with you through your sister, then don’t be. This form and body are fated to be Lilly’s friend even if you never came in this world.”

I pat her head, “this form is kinda easy to tease.”

She pulls out an invisible knife and stab to my heart, “and makes it easier to kill anyone.”

“Geez,” I avert my hands of Her and proceed for the next question, carefully, because She may have a wrong impression of I want to challenge Her in some way. “this has been in my mind after my talk with Death before, and I tried to ask you when we met in the reconcile room, but you disappeared after my…er you can say breakdown.”

“Why are you hesitant to ask when I already know what it is?”

Then is speaking even necessary now if She can just read minds.

She nods, “ask and you may be given, Our rules.”

“All right then,” I shrug, “then, having to live back and deal with your unsatisfactory group of girls’ life and death, but why me?”

The white-haired girl circled her head up and down before stopping to gaze at me. “Why is that so important for you?”

“Er,” I scratch my arm, “I guess, to somewhat knows I’m special or something?”

Then she laughs–no, the laugh is not from Oya the middle schooler, she appears to be standing idle. The laugh is coming from my head. Life and Death laugh, finding it all so amusing for the man She chose to have a bit of hope, thinking himself to be ‘special.’

Oya unwraps her lips, “you’re never special, Sunbae. There’s a lot of people who had lived and died the same way as you. I just pick you out of random.”

“So I’m just unlucky?”

She shook her head, “you’re qualified and chosen to entertain us and change the negative girls’… flavor in their life and death.”

Their flavour is bad then? “I don’t think I did anything worth being proud of in my past life…not that I can remember any of it. I just feel like I never did anything.”

“You did everything,” She says, “you’re one of the people that has a good flavor in the way you live and die. Your start and end are perfect.”

“Thank you, I feel more motivated than I’m no one special but at least chosen to be your prostitute, entertaining you and making satisfaction prevails.”

Oya shrugs and looks over me. I know, I heard the door open too. Lilly must have finished. But I have one more question I have to know.

“Ask away,” says Life.

“Why do sometimes, weird events like ‘times moved forward’ repeating for thousand times in my head?” It’s no joke, it can happen anywhere like when I’m fixing my shoelaces or scratching my head. As soon as my mind went blank, this unknown voice of man and woman whispering and shouting in my head. Time moves forward…time moves forward. As if something trying to tell me.

Well, if I can get an answer to the mystery, the girl in front of me could deal with that.

She smiles, “it means,” she says. It feels like she’s about to uncover something big that no human should know. I doubt she answer but she voiced one. “that time moves forward.”

I tilt my head, “that doesn’t tell me anything.”

“That tells you everything you should know about time.” She replies, “for example, you were never going into the past.”

I never–

“Wen? The hell are you doing to my friend?” Lilly approaches us with a white towel hugging her knife-like body.

“Er,” I wave my hand to dismiss whatever weird thought she may have forms, “I just want to ask about my sister.”

Oya bows and apologize. Lilly tells her to close the door first and wait inside for a few seconds. Oya does, which is unfortunate to miss a scene of my leg getting a strong kick from Lilly.

“Owch, what that’s for?” I say, rubbing my possibly broken leg now.

“For doing something stupid.”

You coming out and kick me when you’re without clothes is more stupid than what I’ve done. Arg, my leg…

It may be my gaze but Lilly backs away with arms shielding her body, “uh…watch where you’re looking at, don’t make this weirder as it is now, brother.”

Oops, that’s not my intention.

“I’m not cooking,” Lilly blurts, passes me, and turns the knob, “so eat instant noodle or something tonight. Bye.”

She closed her bedroom door.

I could hear they were talking but everything is muffled. Who cares, trying to eavesdrop on them is a waste of time now.

I better spend my time worrying as any other people do except about when would The Loop comes again. It could be tomorrow, where I have to pretend as a real working tutor.

Buzz, ‘Great to have you in our tutoring program as the new tutor, Mr -1

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