Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 13

I don’t feel like teaching today; I don’t feel like teaching on any other days, too. Why? I’m not tired or anything, it’s just what I feel. Not teaching.

“Are you sure you should be sleeping right now?”

When I raise my chin from the warmth table, Shizuka stares at me with one of her eyebrows raised, she continued: “I think sleeping in class should be Claire’s role here, not the tutor.”

“I thought you’re better off without a lesson today.” I say, still eyeing down at the darker spot on the ocean of brown, “I don’t feel like teaching and you don’t feel like studying. It’s a win-win.”

She lets out her mischievous self, “you’d lose a point from Sohee if she saw you like this, isn’t her type like, super intelligent and diligent, like herself?”

My hair becomes ticklish as I think about it. She’s right, I may lose a few points. If this is a dating simulator video game and I keep this up, Sohee’s route would be turned grey. But then again, there’s a better way; a way to keep the pleasure in the hold; a way to risk beloved; a way that consists of any of your partners saying to someone else when you’re absent on the bed: “She doesn’t have to know.”

Probably watched or felt this drama, Shizuka’s shoulder declines. Her eyes aren’t expecting to know a lame side of his tutor; maybe lame, maybe selfish, but maybe awesome. “I think I’m about to walk into a scandal relationship now,” she says.

“Up to you.”

Now I don’t feel like sleeping, too. I tear off from the desk and start adjusting my suit as any teacher would do in front of his students. Except I had only one student in my class today; or rather only one of them ‘wants’ to come. Shizuka doesn’t seem to be impressed as she awaiting my reply–if I’m about to pull her into a scandalous relationship (that she wants) or not. “Even if she does know, I’d not lose any point from anyone. She likes me enough to support everything I do.”

“Blindly,” Shizuka adds.

“Blindly.”

Agreed with me with her head and playful smile, she say, “she makes it very apparent, she did. You’re a lucky guy, Sunbae.”

I’m the unluckiest guy you’d ever met.

The conversation meets its doom after a minute, reminding me with its silence that today is the third day I become a tutor (the first one being in the first loop, which is Monday. And the second one, yesterday, which turns out to be a good day because Sohee handled everything.) Had I mentioned that only Shizuka attends the tutoring program up until now? It turns out, the girls can choose to come or not on any other days except Monday, to ensure the girl doesn’t skip the whole week’s lesson. Choosing not, the other three did. Goddamit, these privileged people had in their time. Where’s the good, old standing outside when you’re late went now.

“Teach me,” Shizuka says the worst line possible for today, “today is Wednesday, hence Biology.”

I miss Sohee already. The pinkish girl is my human shield from the bullet of doubts. She eats questions as if hot dogs, whilst letting me admiring her intelligence. With her, I’d never had to teach and risking myself to be exposed sooner than should be. Of course, if they did, the negative girls would take their chance to expose me to the school and gets me kicked out. Little did they know, it’s a murder, for Life and Death and with Her thousand living bodies could stab me worst than Julius Caesar. Julius kinda is a cool guy. And little did they know, it’s pointless.

I would be their tutor again and again.

“Oh my, Sunbae…” Shizuka gasps like an aspiring actor, “could you actually are…”

Fraud? Or horny? Were the words I’m afraid coming out from the thin lips of her, for it is, in fact, true to the truest.

“…Are bad at teaching?” is the words emerge.

I shrug, “maybe I am, maybe I’m not, maybe I’m just a guy who knows very well his student doesn’t want to be taught in the first place and rather, pushing my buttons.”

“That’s so,” her posture turns into formality, “I’m still unsatisfied with how the school accepted you even with you failed to get our vote. And the guy they let out from the hook, doesn’t want to do his job today. It’s going to be a five hundred words report.”

I want to but shouldn’t groan, “sure, sure…” I open the file on the desk and slip out a newborn, warm paper to her, “we’ll dive in this biology thing all right.”

“I thought you’re going to be more excited than this. You were the former top student of Acadasia once, wasn’t biology or every of the complex stuff is your….fetish?”

I pull out another piece and offer to her as I answer, “first, let’s not call anything of someone’s preference, a fetish because it’s wrong and the society doesn’t accept that. And second, if you think I loved studying then no. No one should, it’s very unhealthy.”

“To study?”

“To study hard,” watching Shizuka doesn’t get it I decide to explain more, “study is a hardship and hardship is painful. ‘I love studying hard’ is more like ‘I love being in pain.’”

We can say, with the fendom collections as the evidence, that the old user is a part of the ‘I live studying hard’ community.

“As if you’re saying those who love to study hard is a masochist.”

“You can always study smart,” I say, “though, studying smart is usually used by the lazy.”

Shizuka begins scanning on one of the papers, “so, you don’t like Biology?”

The only thing I love about Biology is human reproductions, in short, and fun word, sex.

Ignoring my silence, Shizuka sighs as she puts down the papers and takes out her pen, knowing full well she can’t escape answering. “I guess, it was my fault for asking this.” The pen clicks, and her crown eyes rusting to me, “am I to answer all these questions?”

“Please do.” or don’t, which is are very fine things.

And with that, the scribbling and tapping and clicking, and groaning continue for minutes. Minutes? Maybe a minute. Heck, a second probably because the pen stops moving even before I can scratch my back.

Shizuka pushes the ‘completed’ paper to me, “done.”

Is she smarter than I thought?

To my demises, I wouldn’t know even if I look over the paper. The paper consist of forty questions with four options to answer, A, B, C, or D. Shizuka and her blue pen did circle one each, in such a hurry way at that. I don’t have the answer in my mind, but within the file, Sohee must have prepared the answer sheet.

“Are you seriously answered this?” I pull down the paper.

Shizuka makes the duckiest face ever and still looks cute. I guess that means she wasn’t serious. “Hmm,” she says, “define serious.”

“You are mostly confident in your answer.”

She answers, “then no, I call myself as a lucky student. Look at now, being alone with my hot tutor, any girl would dream to be in my shoes. I’m just lucky. The ABCD questions are scared of us, the lucky.”

Good for you, any guy wouldn’t dream to be in my shoe. They prefer to be in my hat so they could enjoy you and the other girls, to the fullest and would have nothing affecting them as I did.

Lucky student, huh. Let’s see if luck can help you in the next paper.

“Wh-Why are you smiling?” She blurts.

“You’ll see.”

As I expected, when Shizuka sees the next page, her horror reveals. A true horror to any of ‘lucky student’. A brew of hopelessness in their tongue. Unscrewing the confidence in them. A ‘Bruh’ mutters below their lips.

Because the second paper is a goddam subjective fucking question.