Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 17

Sohee licks and tastes everything; her wet petal caresses even gum and teeth. “Mnn…” her throat spills. I can taste her saliva; nothing sweet but the glob from a virgin girl is tasty. Scretching mine around, I lead her to message our tongue together and she slowly learns how to maximize the pleasure. I can’t say she’s a good kisser, but at least this swapping gets me excited already.

Her warm hand which had pulled me back into the world, finds my bursting chest. Feeling my heartbeat probably, of how I like this so much.

The second kiss from this world.

Where am I again? Who did I kill? If not, then why is my hand is red and sticky and hot and steamy?

Her tongue stops.

When our faces are apart, the pink eyes glow brighter than her burning cheek. The pupils reflect my calm face, ready to devour her.

“Sun–Sunbae…”

Her trembling hand and hard blinking are enough to show she wants to continue. But human’s number one friend and enemy comes into the scene. Mind. The mind tells us what to and not to do. And this time, it tells Sohee to think that kissing me is a mistake. Makes guilt erect inside her heart.

Sohee pushes her face sideways. The restrained pink eyes stare at anything that’s not who she kissed.

“We–We shouldn’t do that. I–I shouldn’t. I’m very sorry.”

Why the sorry? “It was a good kiss,” I lie, I want more. “So don’t worry about that.”

But to my disappointment, she shakes her head, still looking away. “Th–That’s not the problem. It’s,” her eyes shut closed and her hands form into a fist, “…inappropriate.”

She hates herself, I can guess that. She hates to know what’s right and wrong. And she hates that she’s always must do the right thing. Kissing a man in a public place is not to do.

She’s a girl all right, who still onto the word ‘crush’ and ‘sorry.’

And what’s wrong with doing bad things? I say bad things should happen to make good things. Someone has to go into a mine and die working so that others could create a better civilization. Someone has to murder someone to make a law saying not to kill.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” I sound like a creepy uncle in AV. It would be a shame to lose this opportunity. Pleasure is what makes me feel alive.

It’s like talking to someone makes you feel alive.

In this world.

Where am I?

“You need to relax, Sohee,” I say.

She doesn’t know how to.

I leave the heated couch and go around it. Sohee tries to turn around but I catch her head just in time.

And break it.

Just kidding. I hold it gently…

“Sunbae?”

Without replying, I put both my arms onto her thin shoulders. The three-layer fabric protects us from skin-ship, giving a low level of nervousness to her.

Ten fingers push in.

“Aa–ah…” she squeaks. “Sunbae.”

“This’d teach you,” I say, “how to relax.”

I massage her as if I’m her grandmother.

“Learn to relax the right way, Sohee.”

As if my words soothed her ‘inappropriate,’ her body tense out. Her chest heaves down. She sighs, “you’re right, Sunbae. I might be overworking myself and forget how to…sometimes, take something easy, perhaps.”

To relax is to drop your guard. To relax is to blunder. To relax is to be attacked.

To relax is satisfying. To relax feels good. To relax is to die.

The room temperature is rising. My hand’s hair grows. I can sense something, but I can’t put my finger on it. Something so to be expected yet invisible. Love?

Do I love Sohee?

If I believe in the word ‘love’ then probably, yeah. But really, people can debate about love for decades and no one can definitively define it. So why believe it? Water is hydrogen and two oxygen is more believable than love.

Is it because you can feel it?

I shit you not, when you hug your mother, that’s not love that makes your heart beating and warmer.

Her habit of thinking is haunting our moment. Sohee is tensing, almost slurring. “I’m sorry for kissing you…”

“Again, don’t worry.”

She doesn’t look convinced. ‘Don’t worry’ is one weak line and I intend to say it that way. “Really?” She asks.

“Well,” I say, shifting my squishing to her soft arm, “my erection can wait later.”

As if it’s the most vulgar word she ever heard, she blurts, “Ee-e, erection?”

It shouldn’t be a surprise, “getting a kiss from a girl like you would turn on any male.”

“I–I never kiss anyone else.”

Hm, not asking you that but, “Is this your first?”

She blushes, “wh, why are you asking me this, Sunbae? Y, you know it’s not.”

I do? If this is not your first kiss and you have never kissed anyone else then, it should mean your first kiss was before and together with this body when the old user was in charge.

I’m a little disappointed. But why does it feel like her first time? The shaking and doubtful tongue and all. Goddamit, Life and Death, I demand that memory now!

“Is this erection…because of me?” Sohee almost mumbles. What’s with the question? Isn’t that some hentai heroine line or some shit?

“Mostly.” but it could also be because of my perverted mind.

Her arms lost their softness. Is she feeling guilty because she gave me an erection? I can tell the line, ‘I’m sorry’ is on the edge of her wet lips. She will be out of the mood if the uncomfortable goes on for too long.

“Hey, I told you to relax.”

Sohee sighs, “It’s just…I’m thinking.”

“That’s the problem,” I say, beginning to sound more convincing, “you are always ‘thinking.’ How about actually care about what’s happening now, at this minute, at this second. Enjoy the moment.” They say thinking is worrying. Thinking is seeing more than what it should.

She thinks again.

But this time, in my favor.

“Thank you, Sunbae.”

“Is my massage nice at least?”

She giggles, “could be better,”

“It could.”

As if to demonstrate her, I slip my hand down her chest. And as both a swindler and gentleman, I ask first, “can I?”

She looks down at my hands with her head bows.

Smart girl. “Ca, ca–Su–ca?” Her mind busted. Nice, that way she can’t think. That way I am at the right angle here.

I grab the watermelons behind the coat and blouse feeling it like finally grabbing that one ball rolled under a car. It feels nice.

“Ah–ahn.” And Sohee is enjoying it too. Her moan is shaky but that is to be expected. I like it otherwise. It has the mix of ‘do more’ and ‘please be careful’ in it.

Squish.

“Su–Sunbae…am…are you fine doing, th, this?”

Me? Don’t worry about my growing erection. Just hearing you moan is all right. Who knows, maybe one of this day you decide to switch roles–no, I’m not talking about you fondling my…breast–or better, we’re both feeling good in one.

“Should I…mmn, take off my coat?”

I don’t think that’s a good idea. Someone could open that door anytime, and seeing a naked girl fondled by a man is quite a surprise. I could try and get away from it. Suicide is always the best escape route. But then again, it’d only waste the precious death pill so let’s not do anything risky for now. I’m not ready to relive any moment again.

I decide to ignore her. If we’re having a conversation, it’d not do. Breast fondling is hard enough to make someone feel satisfied.

I let my palm rub the two beans.

Her whole body shakes.

“S,s,s,s,sunbae?” But this girl just wants to hear my voice.

“What is it?”

“Mnn…why, why does it feel good?”

I thought you were the smartest here. Having fun is not your thing, I guess. Or you’re drunk on horniness now?

Her legs clasp, “an…your hand feels good, Sunbae.”

Her white hands grab my busy hand. Now it’s four-hand pleasuring your breast. That’s good eh?

“They say if you keep this a routine, it’d make your breast bigger,” realizing Sohee is a master of biology and anything of science, I put a disclaimer, “I may be wrong, I may be right.”

“I don’t need it to be bigger unm…”

That’s fair. It is big I feel you that much.

“Unless…” she mumbles as she stares at her and my hand overlaps.

I could shrug if my whole arm was not busy. No, I don’t need it to be bigger. Medium is premium.

In the room, the sunset rays bathe the room.

I pull out my hands.

“Ahn…”

When her breast has time to be alone again, Sohee seems to relieve. It’s finally over, she might think, the tremendous pleasure that would get her to flood her panties.

“You’re a lot calmer now…” I say as I walk to the couch, now the opposite of her.

Her red face is breaking up.

And she nods.