Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 22

“By the way, Sunbae.” Sohee says, blinking as if trying to figure out my existence, “what are you doing here?”

I look around the world to confirm where I am again before saying, “I live here.”

Her pink eyes widen and look skeptical as if I’m living here is too coincidental, “You’re speaking of the truth?”

“Well, yes,” this time I don’t lie, “I should be but what is home?” I wouldn’t ramble what is home again in my mind. But I would like to know what she thinks.

To my disappointment, Sohee doesn’t take the question seriously. Too bad, I want to know what an actual intellectual being thinks home is but I guess that can wait. As if surprised the weather report is actually true, Sohee gasps. “It must be some bizarre coincidence.”

My eyebrow raises, “you live here too, Sohee?” Hell yeah, a virgin neighbour I have an excuse to meet will bring lots of exciting moments in this part of the world. And this is the Sohee, she might like to continue the massage we left fresh or take it to another level of pleasure.

“No,” Sohee says.

Goddam, a non-existence virgin neighbour I have an excuse to meet with will bring non-exciting moment in this part of the world.

Sohee continues, ‘I’m here to see Mei again.”

“Mei lives here?”

She nods.

Not Sohee but Mei, huh. Well, if you think about it, the term of virgin neighbour still does exist but that is accompanied by androphobia, which hardly will bring any exciting scene in this part of the world.

“It’s such a weird chance,” Sohee chuckles, “I’ve been visiting Mei for so many times and only today I know that you live here.” Does Mei know I live here? As if she can read the question on my face she continues, “I think she doesn’t know you’re living in here,” Sohee points upward to the ceiling or above it, “Mei lives on the second floor, number twenty one.”

Oh, she’s just above me then. I live on the first floor of room number twelve. “It’s also weird how I never seen her, I would remember girls like her.”

She pouts as her cheek flushes.

Before she explodes, “and you, too.”

Sohee sighs, “your pick-up line came a little too late, Sunbae.” she heave in oxygen like an expert, “anyway I think that makes sense, Mei rarely goes outside.”

“About Mei,” I begin as we already are speaking about her, “how’s the convincing her to attend the lesson?”

The question made her hand immediately fix her necktie. She answers, “It needs a little bit of time,” she says. Her eyes round me, “Perhaps, I’m not good as you on convincing others.”

The word ‘convincing’ sounds innocent and pure. I don’t convince people, Sohee. I lie to them. Unlike you, I’m the worst kind of people you ever want to meet. Well, not all the worst thing is bad. The electric chair kills serial killers for you, for an example.

“But perhaps,” her tone is suggesting but her tongue is hesitant, “maybe you can try to meet her.” She bites her lips gently.

I don’t think that’s a good idea. “Do she want to?” is the problem.

Sohee scratches her arm, “perhaps, perhaps. We did talk about you coming over to meet her once or twice.”

“If my guess is right, she doesn’t want to.”

Sohee sighs, “not like that, Sunbae. Well, the first time I suggested the idea to her, she sounds very scared. But the second, which is yesterday, she says she thinks about it.” She starts to cross her hand.

So that means no. It sounds just like, ‘I’m fine,’ kind of lie to assure anyone.

Apparently, it appears Sohee doesn’t think it’s a red light. Her eyes hold mine. So sure she is doing the right thing. Maybe she is. Maybe she thinks Mei has the same mind as her. Rational and calm. But I don’t blame her, everyone likes to think anyone else is them. Take the line, ‘doing good to someone, and that someone would return it back to you.’ We like to believe that. But goddamn if everyone has their fetish of their own.

Her body leans toward me, “but here’s the thing Sunbae. I think perhaps, today is the best time for you to meet her. If we prolong the idea longer in her, she may lose her confidence.”

Spoken like a mother who knows in and out of her children. Unfortunately, no one even your parents knows everything about you. They just think so. I’m for one against the idea of visiting Mei this time around. The air doesn’t feel right. Maybe this chilly wind under the sunny sky is just my imagination. Sohee thinks it’d be better if I did. After all, it’s for Mei’s own good, huh?

You’re too much caring but slowing, Sohee. The faster you think you can help, the worse the problem becomes.

But again who am I to not agree? It takes a stupid method to finish a stupid puzzle–this immortal life.

“I’m up,” I say, “I have the mood to meet another cute girl anyway.”

Sohee ignores my idiotic remark, “then let us go.” She starts to walk in but stops for a moment. She turns around to me.

I’m being watched by a girl.

“Should you be wearing that, Sunbae?”

I take a look at the fabric covering my shoulder and chest. It’s a black T-shirt. Down to my legs is black shorts. I don’t know, but I like this kind of fashion. “I like it.”

That’s not a very much of a reason, plaster on her face. “Shouldn’t we wear something formal if we’re going to meet Mei?”

I shrug, “maybe.” What does she want me to wear? A tuxedo as if I’m bringing her to a dinner? If anything that’d make an androphobic kill herself. And I don’t like bowtie–it sounds stupidly childish.

Sohee sighs and stares right through me, “perhaps what you are wearing now is all right.”

“You don’t like T-shirt?”

“Not Mei,” Sohee begins. Her eyes glimmer of intelligence, “the more of the males’ skin she sees, the worse her adrenaline rush.”

Is that so? So if I’m naked in front of Mei, she’d die? What if I skinned myself and secretly gave her it as a present, would she know it’s a male? And die of heart attack?

“I like your uniform.”

“What does that mean?” Sohee asks as if what I said is harder to understand than quantum physics.

I shrug, “that I think your clothes are great.”

“But this is our school uniform.”

“It looks great on you.”

Sohee tilts her head, “perhaps you’re trying to lighten the mood?”

It’s fucking bright enough for the day.

“If that is so, thank you, Sunbae.” Sohee says as she makes a wavy laughter. She’s relieved about something and thankful to me for that. Not my intention, I’m just scoring a little point on you. Her shoes rub the floor. “Perhaps it’s not very great of an idea for me to suggest you to visit her this time around.

“But I don’t think I can help her problem alone.

“And she’s behind the lessons. We have to do something fast.”

I smile and pat Sohee’s head (after seeing no people around to call me weirdo), “if anything goes wrong take it as a mistake and a lesson. As they say, ‘make more mistakes to learn more.’”

And with that beautiful lie, Sohee perks up and smiles back. “Let us go, Sunbae.” Her pace is stronger.

We walk into the apartment room.

“Should we use the stairs?”

I immediately push the elevator button and get onto it. What did she say again? Oh. I pretend to be surprised by her suggestion, “what? You should say it sooner. If we don’t use this elevator now after it powered itself to go down for us, then we’re wasting electrical energy.”

“Yo–You’re right,” she says with a wry smile and steps onto the elevator.

Sohee wouldn’t like to waste anything.. She does recycle.