Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 29

She’s not wrong I guess. How did she know? I couldn’t think of anything other than she’s a psychic. Maybe she once was an addict but there’s no physical evidence so I had scracth that. A psychic–I’ll take any opportunity to know the future, “what kind of wife will I get?”

“Er,” she coughs out white clouds, “if you’re thinking I’m a psychic then no. That’s a dumb deduction. And someone like you who wouldn’t help a girl in distress, wouldn’t have a wife anyway.”

“You think so?”

“Maybe you’ll get slut–no more than that.”

All right, let’s ignore that.

“I don’t know, you sound very familiar with an addict–not that I’m one anyway.” At least in this world and this body.

Maybe she just guessed. The power of guess is great when it’s not off. But I doubt she’s guessing it by her guts.

Because her eyes skillfully inspect me again.

“Kinda but actually, it comes from experience,” she makes a hald-heart shrug, “I was in the…tch,” she wrinkles her nose as if the word she is about to say disgust her, “it’s not fair to call them that…let’s just say I once work with the so-called justice force back in the days.”

…

“Avengers or Justice League?” I almost have to touch her.

“What?” That snaps me out of my hope.

My logical mind returns, “Nevermind,” bummer, thought I’m talking with a superhero. It’s always someone’s dream to talk with them? Justice force, ha. What, superheroes can smoke and have an androphobic little sister, too. They are also human–at least I think so.

“Tch,” she bites down her stick, “what part of justice force you don’t understand? Of course I’m talking about the police.” Her throat tightens when she mentions the word.

You can’t blame, who the fuck uses the word justice force–kids do, but you’re puffing out lethal smoke now.

“Bad history with them I guess.”

“Arrrrgg, I want to spit just talking about them,” she throws her smoke on the dirt and stomps to turn it off. Her shoes twist on the ground.

“I heard they charge for spitting here.”

‘Fuck.”

Let’s not spit anywhere now–you can spit at something hard later.

She sighs, escaping her irratation. “That shitty system…I don’t believe in their way of justice.”

Police work to preserve peace, bullshit–I couldn’t be more agree with you there. “I think without them justice has always been preserved.” Think about it, in one habitat, call it the jungle or the ocean, all those food-chains and the strong live the weak die, isn’t that all justified by nature? There’s no police or law system there but the animal lives ever peacefully.

Humans are animals, too.

But we separate ourselves to call our right to do anything in this world. And so the humans came to create their own idea of justice over mother nature’s.

Tammy chuckles. The smoke is puffing in amusement. “I don’t know about that but yeah. They are dumb. Call themselves justice but don’t really try to commit it. When someone did follow true justice however, they kicked them out and said it’s not the right thing.”

“What is the right thing then?”

She eyes me seriously. “What’s right and wrong has always been written in each of our hearts.”

You sound like god talking about heart and all but goddamn if I agree with you. Well, everyone has their own opinion and we live by it and either to be changed or keep on forever.

Tammy bites her jaws, “the wrong thing is they kicked me.” She takes a deep one and blows it out. The smoke almost forms ‘Fuck.’

“Woah, you must have done something they really don’t like then, maybe smoking too much?”

She glares and moves her hand on my forehead. Her fingertip plants, “not even close, little tutor.

“I shot someone.”

Woah, I’m talking with a murderer here.

She pulls away her hand, “no, he’s alive…but not worth the life.”

“Did I see this on the news?”

“Maybe,” she says in a flat voice, “I was quite popular that time. Just from one pull I had created a year of controversy.”

“Still, I don’t recall ever seeing you on the news. Well, that maybe because I don’t watch news at all.” Or of course, life and death decides not to give me that memory.

She rolls her eyes, “a policewoman shot a rapist, just a year ago, if that never reaches your ear then you must have lived in a bunker or something.”

“I live here.”

“Then surely you must have heard of it.”

I shrug, “maybe.”

“It’s not like people here have easy access to guns, of course I got popular back then. Not everday someone could hold a gun. And with how the world is today, who doesn’t like gun?”

Is she a real woman? They don’t usually talk about guns, do they? I couldn’t imagine a group of girls on a cafeteria table, laughing and giggling about AK-47 and Glock-43. However, to say women cannot like guns is a diversity.

Her cigarette runs out of life and is thrown on the ground again, only to be annihilated beside its brother. She takes another one. Her green eyes sweeps to me, “Do you really don’t want some?”

“No.”

She leans forward, “it was my dream you know, to be a police.”

Where is this going?

“But when they kicked me out, it got me thinking. Maybe police is just a word. Maybe the real thing I want to be is that person who helps others feel safe.”

What a heroic thought you have. Defending people’s safety is just becoming a busybody in my eyes. I don’t blame her, our body tells us what it wants to live as, anyway. You could become a murderer, or a scientist, or a pilot. Neither are right or wrong.

But then again, isn’t this too sudden? Have I skip ten chapters ahead and straight to Tammy’s route?

“So I came here, to my cousin.”

“Mei?”

She pulls out her cigarrette and takes a large amount of air, savoring it as she continues, “after I heard what happened to her I immediately moved in with her. She’s more than happy when I suggest her the idea. Having a former policewoman who shot a criminal out of passion will make her feel a lot more safer in this apartment…or around.”

The rain trickles down but neither of us give a fuck.

“Mei has gone a lot it seems.”

Her hand trembles, “yeah,” her voice boils, almost evaporating the whole humidity, “the damn man can’t control his lust.”

“Man?”

She clenches her cigarette and slowly lets it fall off from her fingers.

It joins the other on the ground, bented.

A man? Lust?

Her shoulder jumps and she turns to me, “f-fuck. Forget what I said. Shit,” she touches her forehead, “holy shit, of course you can’t do that.” She groans and pulls down her face, “I messed things up again.”

“Can I ask?”

She laughs like a maniac, “hwahahahaa, look!” she lifts her chin, making rain drops trickle down from it. “Rain! We should get moving. I should be going first nice talking with you and take care.”

She stands up and walks away as fast as she can from me.

That left me alone on this bench with the sky poking me.

My pocket vibrates. I take out my phone and read a message on the screen.

Sohee. ‘Sunbae, can we meet in the lobby?’

Of course.. I reply.