Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 39

I don’t mind the slow stride Mei takes, she still has three hours or less before her class begins. So far from what I heard, White Book’s class starts at eight. I could be wrong but it’s likely true. Mei doesn’t strike me as a girl who loves to skip class–except for my lesson of course. Which isn’t even taught by me.

I don’t know where we are heading to, but I do imagine a nice silent place any widow would like to stay in. Or old people who are about to die in a month. The number of large buildings and skyscrapers is lessening as I follow her around, so I assume she is leading to a place away from the city. There aren’t many cars or people around. If you want to be a criminal, this area could be the place to start. There’s not so much witness.

Her fragile foot stops.

Turns out I am a bit wrong. First, this is not a love hotel or any kind of n-otel (n = h, m) but a small park. I guess…it’s a kind of park where homeless people live in? I am not sure how to describe a normal park. It’s clean. So I have reason to believe there’s at least one homeless people live in here. Ha, ‘homeless people house in’. An empty cold. Children and organ-sellers don’t have a reason to be here yet, since the sun isn’t up straight yet.

Mei is just looking at the park as if it’s a movie. I don’t see any movies and I don’t really like staring at a park. So I decide to stare at Mei.

“What’s wrong, Mei?” I decide to ask.

Her hand rubs her cotton arm. It’s not cold I imagine, not from the environment at least. “Di, did you remember my story?”

“About the,” I bit my tongue, using the word kidnapper is going to put her in a bad mood, she doesn’t think it’s that worse still so I use, “assaulter? Ah, you’ve mentioned a park.”

And sorry, no. I don’t remember. I only know this from Sohee.

Mei nods, wish she could do that while facing me. The scene looks as if she’s conversing with the park not me. Which of course is possible, weak people like her has too much delusions.

Her voice shakes, “This is the park that saved me.”

If I deduce it correctly, when she made a run from the kidnapper she fell on this park ground. When she did the assaulter turned away and disappeared as if he’s a boogeyman and the sun is up. Sounds plausible. Who am I even to say it’s silly? I’m immortal.

The park is small and I don’t see any surveillance camera or, maybe call it CCTV (I don’t see much different in them, both are being looked by other people) so I doubt the kidnapper saw one and fled.

“I’ve liked this park ever since,” she says softly as if she’s smiling.

This ugly park made her feel safe, I can guess that. I try to point in a direction, and feel dumb, not that she can see my finger–unless she has eyes behind her head. Despite that, I continue, “But that swing is rusty, doesn’t look that safe for me.”

“Pfft,” Mei chuckles.

Woah, what the fuck. This is a huge development. For the first time Mei actually finds one of my lines funny. This is like finding out your girlfriend is actually your sister.

Maybe shes never an androphobic. Maybe shes only acting like this to have attention and pity. Im likely to be wrong. But I wouldn’t put any high hope of others. My parents lied to me so why wouldn’t the other?

As if realizing that, Mei hiccups and makes an act where she tries to hide in her shadow.

And with that we never sppeak anything again. I reckon. Who knows maybe Mei decide to suggest me to bring her to a n-otel. It could be fun. But again, that’s a fucked up thought.

We spend five or so minutes more watching the park. I don’t know about her but I hope this park is me. I want to be that guy where Mei can feel safe to be with or watch. I may or not want to be worship.

But that’s just normal desire.

Dying is better.

The sun crawls behind my neck and so it does to Mei too.

Mei twirls and starts to walk to me. Or not because she stops and her glance gives me the hint. Please move away. I step to the side five space and Mei walks past me. Kinda cute. I follow her.

It really was just a sightseeing trip for her.

The rest of the journey is accompanied by silence. Nothing to talk, nothing to share, not a finding new in each other. We leave our footsteps to make the talk as we pass the edge of the city and some neighbourhoods. We’re not friends, I know and she knows. We’re not going to cry if any of us get kidnaps or stabs. Not feeling happy when one of us climbs up the ladder of success. We just feel sorry and ‘I hope he’s happy now.’ We’re just like Nile crocodile and Egyptian Plover, helping each other, being the symbol of mutualism. If any of us die, again, we just fly or swim away.

At least we’re not that close yet.

If I am to deal with her life and death then we have to be closer than wife and husband. The relationship between god and his believer is all right but there could be another, easy way.

The White Book Academy reflecting the faint light. It’s almost seven already. Mei stops and I stop (kinda bored to say that.)

“Sunb, Sunbae,” she turns around and making a challenge to herself to look at my eyes. It lasts three seconds and she is defeated. I’m too manly I guess. Her trembling voice continues, “th–thank you.”

“Do well in ther–hmm…” Before I get to finish the sentence Mei already make a run into the school.

As if she had just confessed to me.

…

Now what?