Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 4

So these are the negative girls, huh.

A mischievous girl unfit for her ice goddess appearance, bad at maths, and bold enough to flirt with me–Shizuka. Does she come with a last name? Sohee never bothered to press it, I wonder about that. And she never introduced herself properly.

Mei Luis appears weak as her personality–or in other words, a pure girl. God knows where her androphobia comes from but as Sohee said she’s recovering.

Then we have the console girl. The little dragon, Carrie Alter. For the minutes I’ve been with her, Carrie’s mood never lifted–I guess that’s just her. Also, she’s a gamer so that makes sense.

Lastly, Claire name’s-is-enough who excused herself with the ‘toilet’ and is rumored to be a crime syndicate’s daughter.

Hm, you know what?

Why again do I need to know them?

It was never my intent to actually tutor them.

I am just playing along as I also try to make sense of what happened to me. I mean, I just got into someone’s body. How does that happen? My soul swapped with him? Or I am filling a soulless body? Or this is all just a big dream.

But it’s fine now.

I just couldn’t care.

Sometimes things happen, that’s my excuse for thinking something that’s not in the school’s textbooks. How and why am I thrown on a somewhat different side of the Earth or even another universe? Things happen. Easy as that.

I feel a lot calmer.

And ready.

Snapping me back, Sohee claps her hand, “right, so the introduction is finished. We can move to the recognition session.”

They all look at me.

Oh, I think I have to do something here. I don’t know shit about this recognition session and I couldn’t care.

Do they have a procedure on how to quit as a tutor?

“Sunbae?” Sohee asks. Her eyes are of confusion to me.

I scratch my head, “what’s the recognition session?”

‘Haa…’ Sohee reaches out and plants her hand around my ear. The heat from her breath tickles my skin. “Sunbae must decide whether or not to accept them as students during that session. That’s the school’s policy, remember?”

When she withdraws, her eyes look at me expectantly.

That’s so. This recognition session…

Is great!

That’s what I could use right now.

I take a breath.

Right, let’s go with this.

I’m never their tutor anyway. It was the old user decision. But now I’m in charge so…

I say discreetly, “I think you’re all great,” all eyes on me with each of their hope. “But I refuse.”

I guess Sohee misheard me when she nodded and gave the girls a suggesting look, but quickly realized her error. She quickly turns to me and asks, “Sun–Sunbae? That’s not what you should say. It should be–”

I pat her soft head, her hair is almost licking my palm. Her eyes are widen as if this is surprising. What a cute girl. She almost tempted me to stay alive. But my desicion back in my old world is final even in another world. “No, Sohee,” I say, “that’s what I want to say.”

I stand up, cooling my bottom.

Sohee and the negative girls are silent, despite the fact that they are different from the disbelieve Sohee. A sigh of relief goes up from Mai; Shizuka gives me a thumbs up, and Carrie’s face brightens.

Believe me, I’m too happy with this. If I go along pretending to be a tutor for these girls, it’d not be long before someone exposed me as a fraud.

Though I can’t remember who I am for real, I have a strong feeling I’m not smart. At least to risk working in an academic department.

No, I don’t say lying is a bad thing. Lying is a skill–but you have to apply it carefully and avoid sprawling it around your life. I lie every time.

“Sunbae…why?”

I walk out of the room, ignoring Sohee’s pleas for me to explain.

**-**-**

Ah, I feel empty again. Is it the right decision to left the girls? They all are pretty and cute–I really don’t mind being alive with them.

This all situation seems to give me a second chance in life…but seriously, it beats my purpose from my last life.

I just want to rest.

I don’t need money.

I don’t need girls that I can try to chase and have sex with.

As I stand outside the silver gate of Acadasia’s High’s gate, I feel the evening warmth soak me. It’s strange to see no one around–or maybe I’m just not seeing them.

I am tired.

This body is heavier than my former one–he has family, friends, and dreams.

Why am I in here?

Does it mean I should take responsibility?

…

Nah, I’m going to look for another rooftop.

I’m sorry whoever you are for accidentally taking your body and murdered it.

I just want to rest.

Eternal sleep where there’s nothing. Nothing to look; to taste; to feel; to think. I will just stay in nothingness and be trapped in the end. I wouldn’t struggle or feel the time’s movement. I just rest.

It’s the greatest reward.

When I take a step, a girl voiced, “where are you going?”

I look around and find no one–oh, there is a child when I look down. She wears a light brown middle-schooler uniform. I guess I know that by the former user’s memories.

Feeling this lonely, I humor the girl, “I don’t know. I don’t think I belong in this world so I’m going to kill myself.”

I was about to apologize to her for saying a disturbing thing, but she beats me to it. “That’s not why I bring you here.”

What’s this girl saying?

“You now belong to this world, I say so.” The child looks up at me.

Her eyes were white without pearls.

Another contact lens?

“Where are your parents?” It’s not that I care, really. Get kidnapped as much as you want, I’m dying.

“I am without parents.” The child says. Oops.

Oh, this is awkward. “I’m sorry, I thought…”

The girl shakes her head without any sign of happiness, “no, don’t be because you thought wrong. I have no parents.”

She means…that she came into this world without one? Popping out from a bamboo? “That’s not how it works, kid. So you’re runaway then, that’s no good. Your parents might be sad.” Still, I’m just saying this to feel alive, but I just can’t feel it. As if my body has submitted to die without telling the mind.

“I exist at the beginning of time. And watched the world as time goes on. I know you. And you know of me.” the child says dramatically.

Oh great, is this the chouunibyou disorder I’ve heard about?

Then as I was distracted by the girl’s comment, plump hands wrap me from behind, poking my back with two softballs. A woman’s whisper carcasses the back of my ear, “you shouldn’t leave the girls.”

Oh, boob attacks moment right here.

I didn’t struggle. The woman chuckles, “you really are composed.”

She swirls me around to see her. A black blouse of a school nurse, her eyes were dark and have no pupils. No human’s window soul. Her lips are white…or blue–no, it’s transparent just like crystal.

…To that I make a conclusion.

I think both of these people are cosplayers.

I decide to reply to her comment, “I mean, what could you two do to me in public anyway?”

The child laughs, walking into my side-view. “No no, both of us are not plural. So my pronoun is you.”

Doesn’t make sense.

The girl shakes her head, “no, it makes sense.”

Did she just answer my inner question?

She obviously read my mind. Are these two not actually cosplayers? And not humans?

“I am life,” says the girl.

And the woman follows, “I am death.”

Both of them say in unison, “I am her, and she is me. I am the one responsible for everything that happened to you after you died.”

Life says, “and it had not been a day, you’ve failed the plan.”

“And this is not the end everyone should have.” Death swings.

“If you continue on this path no one’s going to be saved.”

They don’t move their lips anymore but I could still hear them.

+1, “so you’re going back.”

-1, “I make this quick and painless. If you need help after this, just go to the school’s infirmary.”

The nurse’s mouth opens, revealing white teeth. And the mouth’s blades stab down her bottom lips. Her mouth then drools out blood–painting her lips in crimson.

Her hands creep up to my face. And she pulls.

Wraps her lips around mine as she holds me tight, not to let me escape. But who would, I’m enjoying it. The least makes me feel alive now. Then her tongue pushes in, the stinging odor of blood swarms. But it’s slimy and soft, I could wrestle it forever.

Squelch.

Thought that the sound from our hot scene up here but…

That comes from my chest.

I look down and see a large knife stuck in me. It doesn’t stop there. The small hand pushes further the point in until it reaches the thumping organ.

My heart’s burning…

But the tongue cools everything…

Until my eyes drop.

–*—*—*—

When I find myself holding the knob of the reconcile room and Sohee asks if I am okay, a headache fills me in.

But it goes on for a minute and stops because I have the answer for all of these.

Occasionally, anything can fucking happen out of nowhere.