Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 45

Sharp eyes is counting the money I’ve handed her with a satisfied grin. Her wet finger flips them for at least the third time now.

Nerdy and Fatty sigh with their shoulders slumping, looking at their greedy friend. That greedy girl is shameless enough to bind a deal with a stranger. Ha, they would never expect the day they’re walking with a new member. Yes, I would call myself a Yo-Lo (or whatever) member now. I know they don’t like me (but for my money) but I never believe in democracy anyway.

Fortunely for them, the deal is fair. I have three questions I can ask them. And then I’ve got to go. And so the deal goes… The thing is I don’t intend to play anything by its rules.

Nerdy groans as she walks besides Sharp eyes. She slowly shakes her head.

Sharp Eyes catches that and furrows at her, “What?”

“I can’t believe you let him follow us,” Nerdy says, irritation in her voice.

She shrugs as if it’s not a big deal, “It’s just a few questions and following, doesn’t bother me.”

But it is a big deal. Don’t they know they’re basically betraying their friend now? Well I guess if Carrie is really their friend. If not, then your moral values are doing just fine now.

“Yeah, right.” Nerdy rolls her eyes as she looks down at the money disgusted, “If not for the money of course you wouldn’t accept them anyway.”

“What’s the worst can happen?”

Fatty mumbles behind them, “Carrie wouldn’t like what you–we’re doing.”

Sharp eyes stop and all of us break.

She turns sharply to Fatty, “What did you say?” Her face pinched.

“U–um,” Fatty glances at me ( I shrug) and back at her fuming friend, “I m–mean, don’t you feel wrong? We–I think we’re exposing something about Carrie to a random stranger here. We… We really shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Isn’t he the tutor?” She looks at me for confirmation and I nod.

Hell yeah. I am acting like one if that is what you meant. But I don’t think I’ve taught them anything yet. Yet is the key word. They’re teenagers for christ sake, they can’t know everything. They don’t know how to be perfect.

Like me.

Like me?

Who am I?

I’m Sunbae. I’m here to teach the imperfect ones.

“See? He’s not stranger,” she laughs, “Have a little faith in him, he’s the tutor. Of course he wants the best for his student. Right, Sunbae?” She holds up the money as if saying we’ve got the deal.

“Yeah.”

Just a few minutes ago she spoke as if money was bad. What a shitty character.

“What will you do to them?” I ask. It’s none of my business. Just making small talk like usual. Can’t just let myself drift off from reality again you know?

“None of your business, Sun-Bae,” she smirks, “you know what. That’s one question.”

“What?”

“Is that another question I hear?”

This sneaky bastard… “No.”

“All right, Sunbae. Two more, you have two more questions left for me to answer.”

Goddamit. Her sharp eyes are nothing to make fun of now. She’s full of blades. I have to be careful of what I say now.

All right two more. What is the best question to ask worth my money… I look at the three and a big question comes in. “Are you three really her friend?”

My question is met with sudden jerks and silence.

Nerdy sighs as she’s the first one can answer, “Who knows?”

I hear a question mark at the end of her word. “That wasn’t very much an answer,” I say.

And Sharp Eyes fixes Nerdy’s vague answer, “Of all we know, we are,” she looks at the other two. ‘But are we’ painted on her face. She continues, “But maybe she never thought of us as friends, you know.”

“Hmn,” Fatty gives their worry a soft nod, “It’s Carrie after all. She is hard to read. But I hope she also thought of us as friends.”

Yes, I thought so. A self-centred girl like her wouldn’t dream surrounded by friends. But why is she sticking with this group?

As if reading my mind, Nerdy chuckles and shakes her head in truth-disappointment. “We’re just a squad. A gaming squad. In video games, playing solo, even as godly good as Carrie, wouldn’t bring her anywhere. Every professional player needs a team.”

“And we happen to be quite good in her eyes,” Sharp Eyes shrugs, her voice is thick.

“Is that so?” is all I can say. There’s nothing to be surprised about. Still, it’s a worthy question. Now I know Carrie really is alone and sad. Maybe not sad, I don’t know yet. Some people are happy to be alone.

For a minute only the four of our footsteps converse. We’re walking through a familiar neighbourhood now, heading to Play And Pay–so I think. I have one more question left. They can’t shrug me off. It’s too late for that now.

The girls are exchanging looks for a glimpse second. Hey, I know that look. It’s kind of a look robbers make in the middle of their operation. What are they planning now?

Nerdy stops and looks at me, “We have to use the public toilet first. There’s a nearby park here that we could use.”

I stop myself from asking for all I know they would gladly to take it as canon, “I have one more question left.”

“We’re not going anywhere, idiot.” Sharp Eyes rolls her head, “We’re just changing our uniform.”

“I doubt it.”

She groans, “Don’t take as as liars. We don’t fall that low.”|

Say every liar.

She continues backing her argument, “Haven’t you been in a cyber cafe–are you really that old?”

Seeing me clueless, Fatty laughs shakily and explains. “All cyber cafes wouldn’t allow anyone in student attire to enter their shop.”

With some little doubt left I agree and follow them to a familiar street.

And a familiar park. In fact, I was just seeing this park with my certain androphobic student this morning. There are some people in this small park, most of them are standing around the toilet. People just sue this park to dump their waste, huh. It may be a sad fact for Mei to know. This place is her Jesus anyway.

The girls find the ladies’ toilet.

Nerdy and Fatty get in first.

Sharp eyes is about to enter but she turns around and walks toward me. Her eyes hate me. “What’s the last question?”

“Thought that could wait.”

“Ha… We don’t want you to keep following us.”

“I don’t think I would stop following you three even if I ran out of questions.”

She raises her eyebrow.

“I am searching for Carrie Alter my student.”

She scratches her head, “look, not our problem. Question.”

“All right…”

It’s your last, make the best use of it.

What’s the most intriguing about Carrie that someone close (not so close) would know?

The memory of our first met in Reconcile Room flashes back. Carrie is self-centred and not getting along with others. Her clings on her games. When I gave her the chance of getting a RTX, her eyes were brilliant. It means she’s a girl full of hope and dreams. A lonely one but that wouldn’t stop her.

“Have you seen her,” I begin, “seen her differently?”

“That’s your question?” Sharp eyes shrug, “if it is, all right then. I expect you to use your last better.

Her hand touches her sharp chin. “Different, huh. I wouldn’t say she’s been different, but would you take her acting affectionately is different?”

Carrie shows affection, “to whom?”

“Someone, of course.”

Now that’s different. I rarely even saw her so I can’t say she would never show affection to someone impossible. But I would like to know how.

She plays with her nails and says, “it was last year when we all decided to hang out in her apartment house. Someone knocks on the door and a woman’s voice comes calling for her. For the first time, Carrie left her game and ran to the door. I think she was smiling and happy as if she has something to care about in her heart.

“When she opened the door, it was a woman in a wheelchair. And Carrie loudly shout…as if she’s still a little girl and not that toxic asshole anymore, she called the woman her mother.

“It was quite a wholesome moment…

“If not for the two men standing outside, guarding something.”

Seeing me doesn’t respond she’s scowl, “what? Is it too much information? Sorry, I’m not a good storyteller.”

“What happens next?”

She shrugs, “her mother comes in. She’s a good person, caring and kind. At least that’s the impression she gives us if we’re ignoring her bodyguard that day.

“Then she left and left her daughter to live alone again.”

Then her phone buzzes and she opens with a smile. She gave me an apologetic look, “sorry, Sunbae. I have to go now, they are calling. Thanks for the money anyway.”

She runs to the ‘only woman’ toilet.

To change their clothes…I doubt it.

I wouldn’t leave the park anytime soon.. I will wait and start to follow them again, silently now.