Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 56

Your life is too short to forget anything. But mine is long. I have forgotten something. I do not know yet but I can feel it. I have forgotten something I did whether it was good or evil. Maybe good things because I cannot remember being something so pleasant in this world. People think I am better off dead but tell you what, you need me. . .

This world needs me. . .

I’m their saviour. . .

For being so stupid. . .

For being so useless. . .

For being so helpless. . .

For being so… imperfect. . .

I’m perfect. . .

Worship me. . .

In a room with three girls.

This time Sohee did not catch me reminiscing about people’s lives and my existence because she’s still busy teaching Mei ( who listens attentively ) and Shizuka ( who is listening to the rustle sound of her nails rubbing each other ) about something to do with y m and c and root something. In the end only Mei is listening. Well, if you can consider her constant checking the door as ignorable.

The time when Sohee finished speaking, everyone relaxed. Finally. Even the tutor ( me ) whispers relief beneath my lips.

Studying is hell. I can’t imagine sitting in the same spot for hours. Some people may like it but not me. I hate the idea of being confined.

Anyway, it’s a good thing that Mei has decided to come. Well, she wouldn’t dare to walk back home alone now or else it’d be another Tom and Jerry chase again. She just waits for me. But I don’t know if she prefers to be here with Shizuka. Because from the very start second, Shizuka has been annoying to her. Pinching cheek and poking. And Mei tries her best to ignore them.

I feel like helping but at the same time I don’t.

Sohee just lets Shizuka be, maybe thinking it’s normal for social life. After all, it’s a girl’s play kinda scenario anyway. But with one of them actually being a sadist and the other being tortured.

Sohee closes her book with a puff. She glances at me, “So, Sunbae. Did you find anything about Carrie?”

A lot. I found a lot about Carrie that I think she may not like. I even sniffed a little part of her private life. All justified as I’m a tutor trying to help my problematic student.

I was about to answer (get my reward under the table by Sohee (hope)) when Shizuka interrupt with her assumption, “Huh? So she finally disappeared? Isn’t that a good thing? The world has enough bad as it is, one off the ship will make the world fine.”

Sohee sighs as she shakes her head, “Shizuka, please don’t say about Carrie that way.”

” So she didn’t disappear? I thought it was weird for her to not attend the tutoring session. ”

” She’s not… right, Sunbae? ”

It’s my turn to speak up. ” Yes,” I say, “She has been absent these past few days because she somehow has ten thousand dollars to win. ”

Sohee looks at me curiously, ” Is that an exaggeration, Sunbae? ”

Of course, they don’t understand what I’m saying. Or at least the context, they are not that stupid. Despite wanting them to feel fulfilled (not sexually,) I’ve kinda made a promise to Carrie to not tell the others. Well, it’s not an official promise but I think I can have some favour from Carrie for being so understanding person. Though I doubt it but it’d come in handy later.

But I can’t let her ‘friend’ worry too much so I only spoiled a little, “Carrie will be back for the lesson soon.”

Sohee looks at me as if knowing I’m keeping something up, but then shakes them away probably with a thought of Sunbae is not a bad guy, he must’ve done this for a good reason. She only breathed out a low sigh, “If Sunbae says so… Then she is fine now.”

Shizuka breathed out a heavy sigh as she rolled her eyes. She flaps her dark hair as she says annoyed, “What a bummer. She’s really not interesting.”

She reaches for her laptop bag.

And that’s my queue to ask her. I’ve made sure the situation is approachable for my question. Sohee being in a good mood and Shizuka saying things about Carrie.

“Shizuka,” I begin, “Why do you hate Carrie so much?”

Maybe I shouldn’t phrase it like that. Shizuka wrinkles her nose and shifts her arms crossing each other. She looks at me with the same eyes she looks at Carrie. But then turn into soft, happy-go-lucky eyes. “Aaww, Sunbae~ what do you mean by that. I, Shizuka, never hated Carrie Alter.

She continues, “Looks like our Sunbae here gets a huge misunderstanding about my relationship with Carrie here.”

She mumbles, “I don’t care enough to hate her.”

And then return to her pretending-voice, “I love Carrie with AWLLL my heart!” She sharply turns to Mei who’s eating her own lips now, ‘Right, Mei? Don’t you think so?”

“Th–Think wha–”

“That Shizuka loves everyone in this room. Eberyhone~ Including Carrie Alter.”

The way she says Carrie’s full name really indicates otherwise.

Mei only nods five times, both so she can satisfy the predator Shizuka and to shake away her hot breath.

But Shizuka isn’t satisfied with Mei’s answers. “Nee… Mei-chan, tell him that I love her. Speak up.”

Sohee heard the threatening tone too and decided to join the conversation with a warning, “Shizuka.”

But Mei stares down as she grips her skirt and says rather difficult, “Sh–Shizuka lov…Shizuka loves Carrie.”

Oh wow, if that’s not the cutest thing I have seen and heard today. Now try saying let’s fuck I want to lose my virginity to you. No ? Man .

Shizuka slaps her hand and bits her lip victoriously, “See? Told ya ! Who is to say I hate Carrie when I love everyone ! I mean come on, Carrie? Who would not want her as a best friend? She is both Tsundere and Loli for christ sake, tags you put red hearts on a porn site!”

Shizuka slaps her hand and bits her lip victoriously, “See? Told ya ! Who is to say I hate Carrie when I love everyone ! I mean come on, Carrie? Who would not want her as a best friend? She is both Tsundere and Loli for christ sake, tags you put red hearts on a porn site!”

(Author: Another theory. I found this information on quora. I don’t believe them fully but it does raise interesting ideas. Maybe it’d do the same to you too.)

Well, that’s easy to answer. Just tell me what the probability is that there is a universe external to our own.

…

Oh, right, we don’t know what that probability is.

In fact, you cannot ascribe a probability to this, for we have no physical evidence for it, and that’s a problem for the kind of arguments that adherents to this hypothesis proffer.

On top of that, they end up begging the question. All the arguments I am aware of take a form similar to the following:

We already know we can create very low fidelity simulations of the universe.

Technological level progresses exponentially.

Given the age of our universe, by 1, and 2, there is a high probability that we were preceded by a civilization that lived long enough to create simulations advanced enough to achieve self awareness.

Therefore, we likely live in a simulation.

Did you spot where the train derails?

It’s at 4.

To see this, note that, in order to be in a simulation, you must assume that there is a universe that exists external to our own.

The only way for 4 to work, we must also assume that there is a universe external to our own, and more, that it follows physical laws similar to our own.

Therein lies the rub.

We don’t know this. In fact, it’s worse than that. Thus far, we have no compelling evidence of such a universe external to our own. The most evidence we do have takes the form of hypotheses based on theoretical arguments that either aren’t even falsifiable, or so far beyond our reach to test, that they might as well be unfalsifiable for the time being.

Now, yes, you have that guy, who found error-correcting codes in the equations of SUSY. Not really understanding what he’s talking about, I’ll have to take his word for it. Unfortunately, SUSY hasn’t been doing so well, experimentally, as of late.

Supersymmetry’s absence at LHC puzzles physicists

So, sorry, we still don’t have evidence of being in a simulation.

However, this brings us to a very important point:

The only way we could ever ascribe a probability to being in a simulation is if we had evidence of there being in one to begin with. And we don’t.

Oh, sure, we have lots of postdictions like, “There is a universal speed limit, and if I were a programmer, I would impose a universal speed limit to ensure that intelligent species can’t travel to the edge of the universe, therefore, simulation.”