Negative -Girls: To Live And Die - Chapter 64

f Nothing happened. Nothing sexual happened, I said to myself.

We continuing the lesson normally.

Mei has calm down, Her trembling is not so bad now.

I hand down the papers to them. I first start with Shizuka and when our eyes met I see something unbelievable. Shizuka averted her gaze and a blush sweep on her cheeks,

Woah now you’re just making me doubt myself. What the hell happened when I blanked out then? Something sexual? I… I don’t what to feel. In one side I should feel upset to myself, because having sexual intercourse with Shizuka this early could ruin my big plan: Be a image of god. And god doesn’t let lust take them. In another side I feel frustrated for not having to experience the sexual intercourse with my conciousness.

…

Whatever.

Not that I can change anything now. I could just use the pill if something bad really happened that give me a reason to reset everything.

…

It’s not really a reset now that I think about it. In the end, ‘I’ stay the same as before. It almost sad. I also want to be reset too.

Okay, back to the reality.

I ignore Shizuka for now and hand the exercise paper to Mei. But she doesn’t want to take straight from my hand so I put it down on the table.

Mei slowly pull the paper toward her .

I ask her, ‘Are you–”

She jumps.

Man, this is really getting her. I can understand what she’s going through now. She keeps find the familiar things from that day she almost got kidnap. The evening warmth. The silence. The absent of Sohee. The presence of a man ( Me ). And her defenceless self.

I can’t just say, it’s going to be okay to her and make her think it’s going to be okay. It’s not okay. God, for all I know the kidnapper could barge in right now with guns on my head. I can’t do anything. Well, I can try to fight but… I’ve learnt something from the game I played with Carry. You can’t just melee out someone who is aiming gun at you already.

So I just say, hang on Mei, in my heart despite Mei’s whole body is going to loose and crumble now.

When I see them taking a check on the paper, I start. “Today’s lesson is chemistry. Now I want you two to answer the exercise paper first–”

Shizuka raises her hand.

Her eyes fix on me. Oh good, you’re back.

“Objection.” She says. And in my experience of knowing her, when she says objection, it’d be a long argument about something stupid.

‘What is it?” I decide to entertain her,

Shizuka chuckles ‘Hehe,’ and begins to say with her formal tone, “I believe Sunbae uses the word exercise regarding this question paper.”

‘Yes, what about it.”

Even Mei is looking back and forth between me and Shizuka. She’s confused as hell as me.

Shizuka continues, “But on this paper, it’s clearly written ‘Etanol.’ And here’s the main point, you never taught us about this.”

“… Isn’t that what you supposed to learn in class.”

Shizuka tsked, “tsk tsk tsk, Sunbae Sunbae, oh my Sunbae. My very Sunbae. The tutor Sunbae. A great man Sunbae. Sunbae the human. Sunbae the tutor.”

“Shizuka.”

“Think about it, Sunbae. If I am really learning in the class then why would I be here?”

Hm… That’s actually a great point. Yes, of course. Why I didn’t think about it. That these girls are very stupid.

‘So you don’t have any clue about this topic?” I ask.

Shizuka shakes her head happily, “Nope.”

I’m not sure if this is something you should be happily claim about but okay.

I look at Mei. She was looking at me but when I turn to her, Mei pushes her face down. It’s almost cute if only she doesn’t have that winter hoodie still on her.

“Are you the same,” the question intended to Mei.

And Mei glance up to check who am I asking. And when she realises it’s her, her shoulder shaken a little bit. Her mousy voice coming out from down, ‘I… N–no.”

“No?”

“No?” (Shizuka), She turns to me and ask, “No?”

I nod, ‘Yes, Shizuka. She says no.”

“I see.”

The hell was that short exchange.

I keep myself focus on Mei so that she continue. And she do, “I… I meant, I know – – know something ab, about it, Et, Etanol.”

“I see.’ Great then.

I turn to Shizuka, “Then I’ve decided.”

“Good,” Shizuka nods, “I can’t just answer something I don’t know abo–”

I cut her.

No no, I cut her words not her head. Come on.

“I’ve decided we’re going to answer the question first. We’ll talk about the answer later,”

Shizuka has a lined expression on her face.

“Seriously, Sunbae?” Shizuka asks.

I nod my head to say yes, I’m serious.

Shizuka sighs, “Man, after all that you’re still a boring person.”

“Nothing happened.” I say.

Shizuka laughs, “Oh no, something did happen.”

So something did happened?

Shizuka turns to Mei, ‘Something happened. Do you want to know, Mei?”

Mei is holding up the paper, in dilemma to know or not to know about this something happened. When she tries to look at me, I shake my head. She looks back at Shizuka and says, “Thank… No, th, thank you.”

Great choice, Mei. If you agreed to know, it wouldn’t be good for your health. Mei is an imaginary people… I mean, she’s real ( real real real ) but she just imagines a lot of things.

Well, anxious people imagines a lot of things. Things that never happened. That happened but worse. And something that will happened. They just use their brain too much to create the world of never happened.

**

Nothing happened. Nothing sexual happened, I said to myself.

We continuing the lesson normally.

Mei has calm down, Her trembling is not so bad now.

I hand down the papers to them. I first start with Shizuka and when our eyes met I see something unbelievable. Shizuka averted her gaze and a blush sweep on her cheeks,

Woah now you’re just making me doubt myself. What the hell happened when I blanked out then? Something sexual? I… I don’t what to feel. In one side I should feel upset to myself, because having sexual intercourse with Shizuka this early could ruin my big plan: Be a image of god. And god doesn’t let lust take them. In another side I feel frustrated for not having to experience the sexual intercourse with my conciousness.

…

Whatever.

Not that I can change anything now. I could just use the pill if something bad really happened that give me a reason to reset everything.

…

It’s not really a reset now that I think about it. In the end, ‘I’ stay the same as before. It almost sad. I also want to be reset too.

Okay, back to the reality.

I ignore Shizuka for now and hand the exercise paper to Mei. But she doesn’t want to take straight from my hand so I put it down on the table.

Mei slowly pull the paper toward her .

I ask her, ‘Are you–”

She jumps.

Man, this is really getting her. I can understand what she’s going through now. She keeps find the familiar things from that day she almost got kidnap. The evening warmth. The silence. The absent of Sohee. The presence of a man ( Me ). And her defenceless self.

I can’t just say, it’s going to be okay to her and make her think it’s going to be okay. It’s not okay. God, for all I know the kidnapper could barge in right now with guns on my head. I can’t do anything. Well, I can try to fight but… I’ve learnt something from the game I played with Carry. You can’t just melee out someone who is aiming gun at you already.

So I just say, hang on Mei, in my heart despite Mei’s whole body is going to loose and crumble now.

When I see them taking a check on the paper, I start. “Today’s lesson is chemistry. Now I want you two to answer the exercise paper first–”

Shizuka raises her hand.

Her eyes fix on me. Oh good, you’re back.

“Objection.” She says. And in my experience of knowing her, when she says objection, it’d be a long argument about something stupid.

‘What is it?” I decide to entertain her,

Shizuka chuckles ‘Hehe,’ and begins to say with her formal tone, “I believe Sunbae uses the word exercise regarding this question paper.”

‘Yes, what about it.”

Even Mei is looking back and forth between me and Shizuka. She’s confused as hell as me.

Shizuka continues, “But on this paper, it’s clearly written ‘Etanol.’ And here’s the main point, you never taught us about this.”

“… Isn’t that what you supposed to learn in class.”

Shizuka tsked, “tsk tsk tsk, Sunbae Sunbae, oh my Sunbae. My very Sunbae. The tutor Sunbae. A great man Sunbae. Sunbae the human. Sunbae the tutor.”

“Shizuka.”

“Think about it, Sunbae. If I am really learning in the class then why would I be here?”

Hm… That’s actually a great point. Yes, of course. Why I didn’t think about it. That these girls are very stupid.

‘So you don’t have any clue about this topic?” I ask.

Shizuka shakes her head happily, “Nope.”

I’m not sure if this is something you should be happily claim about but okay.