Nightmare Came to The Place I Escaped - Chapter 81

 

 

A Curufin chapter? Again? I bet you’re wondering how many more there are! Well, this is the second to last chapter that Curufin has sponsored. 

Thank you for your generosity Curufin. m(_ _)m

 

Marriage.

 

Rachel frowned in confusion, and kept her eyes on the man standing in front of her.

 

In the past, it was actually the Prophet of the Empire that she met and thought of as a magician.

 

He talked to a maid like her in a friendly way, so she thought he was a rural aristocrat who was close to the servants.

 

Rachel peered at the Prophet’s face, with his jet black hair and bright red eyes. If all the mysterious man’s words were true.

 

Ian’s death was upon him, and his only way of living was to marry her.

 

“His Majesty, does he know that?”

 

Rachel unconsciously clenched her fist in anxiety.

 

“Does he know that he might die?”

“He knows.”

 

Rachel frowned a little.

 

Then why didn’t he mention a word about marriage to her? Why did he keep his mouth shut about his death?

 

Rachel was now angry.

 

The fact that she almost let him go without preparing herself. She was angry that he was next to her because he liked her, but he didn’t tell her any of the most important things.

 

Embarrassment, fear, and betrayal. When all those swirling emotions rose to the top of her head, all of it resulted in anger.

 

Rachel stubbornly opened her mouth.

 

“So why are you telling me this?”

“…Rachel.”

“I don’t want to be involved with His Majesty anymore.”

 

Even at the moment she uttered those words, Rachel’s hands trembled with anxiety. She wondered what she would do if something went wrong with Ian this time.

 

“Besides, the reason His Majesty didn’t tell me was because he didn’t want to marry me. He’s the one who does whatever he wants.”

 

How much time does the man really have left?

 

Even as she spit out rude words, Rachel thought that in her mind.

 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not worried about His Majesty.”

 

Yeah, it was ridiculous to worry about Ian. How could she forgive him for what he did to her and go see him?

 

Should she hate or fear the death of the man who’d killed her? Wasn’t that a mental illness?

 

“I don’t love His Majesty.”

 

At that moment, Rachel hurriedly turned her eyes away from the Prophet, embarrassed by the hot tears that flowed along her cheeks.

 

“I don’t love him. Not one bit.”

 

Rachel angrily wiped away the tears that flowed roughly down her face.

 

The only reason she was crying was because she felt sorry for herself when he died and was left alone.

 

If he died, who in the world would she blame with him gone? If he died like that, how could she live with the guilt that a person died because of her?

 

She was afraid that if he died, his face would suddenly come to her mind, and she would no longer be filled with fear, hatred, or resentment.

 

Ian Dakendov, he was selfish and cruel until the end.

 

“Selfish.”

 

Whatever she chose, there was nothing but hell for her.

 

Rachel wiped away her tears by rubbing at her face vigorously. However, the tears that burst out wouldn’t stop, making her feel even more embarrassed.

 

“Ugh, what should I do when he dies like that?”

“Don’t worry about that.”

 

At Rachel’s tears, the man wiped at her face sadly. His large hand covered Rachel’s small face.

 

“…Hmm.”

 

Rachel lifted her head, pulling away from the stranger’s hand that was touching her.

 

“He asked me to erase your memories of him when he dies.”

“…What?”

“Even if Ian dies, you will eventually forget everything about him and feel no guilt.”

 

Contrary to the man’s expression of pity, Rachel’s whole body was weakened by his calm words. The man’s calm tone, as if it was insignificant, seemed like she would happen very soon.

 

When Ian died, she would forget him forever.

 

“Oh, no!”

 

At the man’s words, Rachel crouched down and cried.

 

Yes, if this man could erase her memories, she had nothing to worry about. She wouldn’t try to get a glimpse of him like it was a habit, nor would she suddenly think of him.

 

So wasn’t that the perfect revenge towards the man who killed her?

 

But Rachel didn’t like it. She hated the idea that she’d forget him forever.

 

She didn’t understand why he was doing this at all. She wanted to meet Ian.

 

She hated him and was hated by him. Rachel was afraid that she would lose him forever if she didn’t go to Ian like this.

 

She didn’t know where this tenderness in her heart came from. She felt affectionate towards him.

 

It was the same when she lived in Ravenna. Now that she was far away from Ian, that’s when it happened. There was no reason to wonder about news about him, but Rachel foolishly read the newspaper every week.

 

Even though it was a week late, Rachel looked for the newspaper and read it every day.

 

When Ian caught the dragon, she wanted to make sure things were going the same way as she knew in the past. She was worried during the war because the Empire might lose.

 

After the war, it had already become a daily routine in her life, so she read the newspaper without much thought.

 

Rachel would eagerly search for news on Ian.

 

After finding news about him, she always looked through the article and read it even though she felt uncomfortable.

 

Rachel had never forgotten Ian for a moment in Ravenna.

 

Every time she was able to write because of what she learned from him. Every time she remembered what he said. Every time the season when she was alone with him came back. Rachel recalled Ian.

 

Even though her relationship with him was cut off, the time she spent with him in the past gradually permeated her life. So, Rachel didn’t know how.

 

How to live without Ian.

 

If he erased her memories of Ian, she would have to forget her entire life. Would she really be alive?

 

Rachel couldn’t guarantee what would be left of her if he erased Ian from her memories.

 

“Oh my God!”

 

Maybe she was crazy. No, she must have been crazy.

 

Funny how she still seemed to love him.

 

It was hard to even realize what her emotions really were right now.

 

She liked him, who was sweet to her as a child. She loved him, who ran down the road looking for her when she lost her way that night at the festival. When he gave her a doll as a gift, she was happy as if she had the whole world. Her heart was broken when he sided with Lady Avery in the cottage. When even he didn’t believe her, Rachel felt gloomy because she felt like she really was insignificant.

 

Nevertheless, she was grateful when he didn’t forget to bring her back to the Imperial palace after he caught the dragon. She was happy that she could still be next to him.

 

She was intimidated by him, who lived in the Imperial palace and turned his head away from her as if he was sick of seeing her, which caused her to toss and turn almost every night.

 

The first promise he made to her at the hunting grounds that day. When he broke his promise to come back, and realized Ian’s thoughts towards her.

 

When she realized why he frowned at her, she was so sad that she thought she was lucky to die.

 

When Ian came to Ravenna after she left him. When he arrived with his cautious eyes, his small smile, with his full attention directed towards her. She was happy again.

 

Now she knew it was all a hoax. Even though she hated him madly.

 

When she heard that Ian might die, she missed him.

 

She just wanted to see him.

 

“…I miss you.”

 

Ian, she missed him.

 

Why was he so indifferent to his own life? Why did he let her go, like a person who’d given up on everything?

 

Rachel couldn’t understand him one bit.

 

“Actually I.”

 

Why did he try so hard to become emperor? Why was he letting go as if he had no regrets?

 

She felt like she had to see him. She missed him.

 

“I miss His Majesty.”

“Well, yes.”

 

The man clicked his tongue a little, and patted Rachel.

 

“Don’t cry, I’ll take you there.”

 

The man wiped away Rachel’s tears as she pleaded.

 

And when Rachel opened her eyes again.

 

Rachel was in a room she was seeing for the first time.

 

***

 

“What?”

 

A low voice came out of the darkness.

 

“It’s me.”

“Tsk, get lost.”

 

Ian murmured a small curse at Roosevelt’s voice and raised his arm to cover his eyes. It was a euphemistic refusal for him to not disturb his night.

 

He was sure he was here to tell him another piece of garbage.

 

However, Ian sat up quickly from his bed due to a small sigh.

 

“…Ray, Rachel?”

 

Saying Rachel’s name was so difficult, Ian was only able to speak her name after quite a long silence.

 

When Roosevelt turned on the lights in Ian’s room, only then did Ian see Rachel’s complete image.

 

Rachel was wearing a thin silk pajama with her hair hanging down. She was busily rubbing her hands over her face. It was like she was wiping away tears.

 

“Rachel, what’s wrong? What?”

 

Ian ran to Rachel, and bent down to check on her. His voice sounded so sweet that Rachel bit her lips and shed more tears.

 

“Come on, don’t cry.”

 

Ian couldn’t help but stamp his feet at Rachel’s crying.

 

“Why are you crying so sadly? Don’t cry, please.”

 

Then, Ian finally begged for her to stop, and held Rachel in his arms.

 

“…I heard something.”

 

Small shoulder, a soft back, and a thin waist came into Ian’s hand. Ian didn’t feel good about how skinny Rachel had become.

 

“It’s all my fault, okay?”

 

He was told that she was eating well, but Rachel was still thin. As if she was going to disappear at any time.

 

“I’ll do everything you tell me to do. So don’t cry.”

 

Ian regretted showing up in front of Rachel that day because of this moment.

 

If he’d known it would make Rachel cry like this, he wouldn’t have.

 

No, he wished that he’d been sweet to Rachel from the start. If he’d kept her without being greedy for useless things, he wouldn’t have regretted anything and Rachel wouldn’t have been so sad.

 

Ian had made Rachel cry so much that her face and neck had turned red, and now he wanted to cry with her.

 

***