Nightmare Came to The Place I Escaped - Chapter 83

“If I erase your memory anyway…”

“You promised to live.”

 

Rachel interrupted Ian.

 

“I heard you.”

 

Tears streamed down from Rachel’s eyes again.

 

“You promised, so you have to hold on.”

 

Promise.

 

It was the second promise he’d made to her.

 

Although he didn’t keep his first promise that day.

 

She wanted him to keep his word this time.

 

Maybe this choice would make it hard for both of them. Forcing an already distorted relationship might hurt everyone.

 

He would suffer from guilt every moment, and he might get tired of the annoyance she caused.

 

But Rachel wanted him to hold on for her, even though she might hate him. Since he said he would live. If it was her, she hoped to forced him.

 

For once she wanted him to keep his promise.

 

Rachel wrapped her arms around Ian’s neck and pulled him in.

 

She’d rather not let the two of them think about anything. No more suffering from those thoughts.

 

Ian pulled Rachel’s lips to his again.

 

He gently sucked on her lower lip.

 

His heart was pounding with unexpected anxiety. Even at the moment he was holding Rachel, he felt an unexpected impatience, so he tightened his grip even more.

 

Ian, who was scanning the white neck and prominent collarbone with his hands, swallowed some saliva. He didn’t like that the slightest force could break her.

 

Ian lowered his head and kissed her white neck. Ian kept breathing in at the faint scent of Rachel’s body.

 

At the same time, he steadily lowered his hand and scanned Rachel’s body. His hand lowered along her prominent chest and a narrow waist, then his hand grabbed the hem of her nightgown  and pulled it up part way.

 

The soft flesh underneath the nightgown felt pleasant in his hand. Ian tried to suppress his lust so that Rachel wouldn’t be scared, but it was very difficult with such pleasant softness.

 

Rachel moved her waist awkwardly at Ian’s hand, which was scanning her body. The breath in her ears was hot and itchy, but Rachel didn’t hate it.

 

Rachel’s nightgown moved up to her stomach from Ian’s touch.

 

Rachel’s shoulders gave a small shudder as he gripped her chest. Then Ian’s touch became softer and slower.

 

“Your Majesty.”

 

She suddenly thought she was crazy, but right now she didn’t care.

 

“Do you love me?”

“…I love you.”

 

Once again, Rachel’s shoulders shook quietly as Ian’s low voice fell to her ears.

 

“I’ll never hurt you again, Rachel.”

“You’re only going to tell me the truth, right?”

“Yes, I promise you everything.”

 

Rachel stared at Ian’s colorful purple eyes for a moment.

 

The calm, hot gaze that sank low somehow made Rachel feel like tears were flowing again.

 

“Then tell me again.”

“I love you.”

 

Even though he didn’t say it in her ear, she still felt itchy at his voice.

 

“I love you, Rachel.”

 

She knew she couldn’t be any more crazy than she was right now.

 

***

 

Early morning when everyone was asleep.

 

Rachel held her breath in Ian’s arms. Silently, she left herself to Ian, who’s hand was running down her hair.

 

“Your Majesty.”

“Yes?”

 

In the quiet room, Rachel opened her mouth after a long time.

 

“I heard something from my father.”

“What?”

“That Your Majesty visited my father every day. Why did you do that?”

 

At Rachel’s question, Ian closed his mouth as if he were lost in thought for a while.

 

“I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to keep you next to me with that.”

 

Ian’s answer, which came out after a long time, was very different from what Rachel heard from the Duke. Even so, Rachel wasn’t too disappointed.

 

Ian said it was because of his own selfishness, but somehow it didn’t seem to be his real intention. For some reason, it seemed that it was actually for her.

 

After that, silence fell again in the dark room. Rachel opened her mouth as she felt Ian’s touch on her hair.

 

“But why didn’t you come after I left?”

“Because you wouldn’t like it.”

 

Rachel blinked slowly at Ian’s words.

 

As he said, he wouldn’t come to her in the first place.

 

“You came to find me in Ravenna.”

“There was nothing else I could do this time. I didn’t want to bother you for nothing because I knew I couldn’t be forgiven.”

 

Rachel touched Ian’s hand and opened her mouth impulsively.

 

“Your Majesty, since when did you regret it?”

 

Rachel tried to ignore the deep-seated sadness and opened her mouth again while she pretended to be okay.

 

“So…”

 

She didn’t know what she would do with that information, but Rachel talked about that day without thinking about it too much.

 

“So, what I mean…”

 

If possible, Rachel didn’t want to recall that day, she just wanted to forget about it.

 

Forever, and ever.

 

Rachel thought she should go to the red-eyed magician and ask him to erase her memories, but only the memories of that day should be erased, as if it was cut away.

 

She wouldn’t be sad or hate Ian anymore. There would be no more days of her hating him, or crying over the memory of that day. Rachel thought she could be happy with Ian if she just forgot the memories of that day.

 

Rachel decided to go, and ask the magician.

 

She didn’t even know if it could completely undo their messed up relationship.

 

“When I died, since when did you regret it?”

 

For Rachel, just for today. Only once did she want to hear it from his mouth.

 

Rachel steadied herself, and quickly bit her lip to stop the tears that were threatening to flow at any moment.

 

Nevertheless, Ian flinched a bit, as if he had noticed the change in Rachel.

 

Ian took a small breath and slowly opened his mouth.

 

“Right away.”

 

Ian’s arm, which was wrapped around Rachel’s shoulder, tensed.

 

“The moment I confirmed that you weren’t there.”

“There?”

“Under that tree.”

 

Rachel frowned a little.

 

“No, from the moment I shook off your hand, I felt uneasy and hated it. I felt anxious seeing your crying face, but the moment I finally confirmed that you weren’t under the tree when I went back. I have regretted it since then.”

“Then…”

“I’m sorry.”

 

Ian apologized, and swallowed silently.

 

“You’re not the type to cry for no reason, but I’m sorry I pretended not to know. I’m sorry I left you alone.”

“Then Your Majesty…”

 

Ian kept saying something, but Rachel couldn’t understand anything.

 

What was he talking about?

 

For a moment, she thought, ‘No way’. The knight who seemed to know Diana Avery. It occurred to her that the knight was from the Avery estate.

 

When Rachel half raised her upper body, Ian hurriedly raised himself.

 

“Then, did you come for me that day?”

 

Rachel’s voice trembled. Suddenly, her heart was beating so fast that she almost felt dizzy.

 

Did he really come for her?

 

He didn’t know that knight?

 

So what he said to her was a lie? Was it a lie that Ian ordered her death?

 

“Yes, I did.”

“Really? You came?”

 

Rachel gasped at his calm and sad voice.

 

“I’m sorry that I was too late.”

“Oh, my God.”

 

Rachel burst into tears.

 

Ian came looking for me. He came to take her back.

 

Then he didn’t kill her. She couldn’t stop crying because he didn’t abandon her.

 

“Oh, my God!”

 

Ian felt restless by Rachel’s crying. He hesitated for a moment, then held Rachel in his arms.

 

After a while, Rachel gradually recovered control of her emotions because of his comforting touch.

 

“Rachel, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I left you there alone even though you must have been scared. I’m sorry I made you suffer.”

 

Rachel couldn’t understand what Ian was apologizing to her for.

 

“Why are you apologizing?”

“If I were next to you, you wouldn’t have been hurt if I hadn’t shaken your hand away like that. I’m sorry.”

 

Ian groaned softly and hugged Rachel. He was afraid he would lose her again.

 

“But I couldn’t even find your body. You’ve been with me all your life, but I couldn’t even hold a funeral for you.”

“Huh, oh.”

“The fact that I couldn’t be by your side, that I was the one who eventually let you die. I’m sorry, Rachel.”

 

Rachel shook her head slightly at Ian, who was repeatedly apologizing.

 

“I’m glad you came.”

“Rachel…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I wish you’d come sooner, but that’ll do.”

 

Rachel hugged Ian’s neck, even though she hadn’t sorted it out in her head yet.

 

“No, I shouldn’t have shaken your hand away.”

 

Ian didn’t mean for her to die, and he didn’t intentionally leave her. He didn’t lie to her.

 

Ian went there looking for her.

 

If it really was true, that was it.

 

He kept his promise to her that he’d come back. He didn’t abandon her, so that was it.

 

“I thought Your Majesty had abandoned me. You promised to come, it was your first promise to me, and I thought it was all a lie…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.”

 

It all felt like a dream to Rachel now. Ian likes her. He loves her, and she liked it better now than the original moment when he whispered it.

 

In the end, Ian didn’t abandon her. It wasn’t Ian who ordered her death.

 

“I’m not really sad anymore. It’s all right.”

 

She didn’t have to hate Ian anymore. She didn’t have to be sad anymore.

 

It was all right now.

 

Even though she didn’t meet him, if he’d come to find her. If he didn’t kill her, that was it.

 

Rachel, who had been shedding tears for a long time, slowly calmed herself down with Ian’s touch.

 

“….”

 

Then the knight…

 

Was this Diana doing?

 

“Your Majesty, that day. You were with a tall knight with dark brown hair on the day of the Hunting competition.”

 

Ian listened to Rachel’s voice, whose pronunciation was muffled because she was breathing hard. Then he answered quietly.

 

“Was that knight just a knight of the Imperial palace?”

“What?”

“So he wasn’t one who Your Majesty particularly cares about?”

“Yes, I don’t know him.”

 

Ian shook his head slightly.

 

“Why? Is he someone you know?”