No Game No Life - Volume 9 Chapter 2.2

“Why!? Is it because we are just children!?”

“We are just playing a character! We are all 18+ you know!?”

“Shut the hell up! The problem is that important persons and organizations don’t care about that! You

guys need to learn about something called ‘filters’! Do you want to get me into prison!?”

Sora interrupted the little girls who were still clinging to him, and finally supplicated at his wits’ ends:

“… I’m begging you. I’m begging you so please, for the time being just… disappear from my sight…

okay?… I’m serious.”

Had they finally understood that he had been refusing for real? The polygons started to break down, and

the evening classroom reverted back to the tatami matted room as if nothing had happened. The

self-proclaimed elementary school girls that reeked of crime also returned to normal without a fuss.

Miyashiro’s separate residential tower had returned to normal and inside, there were 11 non-loli

robo

maids.

They had surpassed oracle machines ── no. They had even surpassed hypercomputers. They were

transcendental computers. That computational power was put to use on something useless, and the

Ex-Machina scrutinized the information they had obtained with expressionless faces and a flat tone:

“──Analysing subject’s ‘sexual arousal index’ curve. Estimating main cause of resistance ── Begin

speculating corrections.”

“Subject’s sexual arousal response has cleared the threshold. Conjecture: it is an ethical problem. Finding

an optimal solution.”

── They one-sidedly revealed Sora’s sexual preferences one after another as they were dispassionately

teleporting back.

“Don’t just leave your disgraceful accusations!! ‘Sora-san also loves big boobs～’ right!?”

With Sora’s final scream, calm returned to Miyashiro’s residential tower as if a storm had passed.

…. Errr….

“… So. Could you explain what is going on?” Miko asked, half-dumbfounded. So many nonsensical

things had happened that she didn’t even have time to be amazed.

“Well a lot happened but… I already told you the gist of it: I’m so popular with beautiful robot maid girls

that it’s troubling me!” Sora said, holding his head in desperation.

“They keep telling me to make babies with one of their units! That’s super troublesome right?!!”

── They had been trying to ‘seduce’ him like that. And what’s more, it had already happened eight times.

── The first few times, it was still all right.

That was because they kept missing the point and trying to seduce Sora with questionable scenarios.

For example, 11 units pretending to be his childhood friends would suddenly appear and say ‘Let’s go to

school together ♥’.

Eleven ‘childhood friends’ that he had never seen before just came and said, of all things, ‘Let’s go to

school.’

They didn’t understand what a ‘childhood friend’ or a ‘hikikomori’ (Sora) was.

Eleven sudden older sisters, eleven widows… etcetera…

‘Would ‘Eleven samurais’ come next?’ Sora thought with a mocking smile. However,

“… but you don’t look too dissatisfied about that?” Miko pointed out with half-lidded eyes.

“That’s why I said it was serious. The Ex-Machina really are limitless… such a fearsome race──!!” Sora

said with a trembling fist and a distressed face.

That’s right… they had completely lost the point many many times, however, each time they did, their

accuracy increased.

The Ex-Machina used their uselessly good observation, analysis, calculation, and response abilities to

determine Sora’s preferences from his reactions. They kept steadily and accurately correcting the

scenarios according to Sora’s preferences.

── The fact that Sora was also okay with lolis was only because of Shiro’s influence, s

he was simply too

beautiful.

That’s the only thing they had missed, but even so their approximations kept getting better and better──!!

“… Nii, you have a… lewd look on your face…”

Thus, the situation became so serious that Shiro now reproached him with half-lidded eyes. However,

Sora shielded himself from her gaze and opinion with both hands and shook his head.

“NO. Tottemo～26 NO… Shiro. My sister, listen carefully to your brother’s words.”

── Out of all the healthy boys in the world, 100 out of 100 will basically agree with Sora.

With that confidence. Nay. That certainty! Sora explained his ‘truth’──!!

“Even though girls don’t feel like this, anyone who is born a man has the inescapable desire to ‘

Be

popular!!’ No ── that is the very origin of the creatures known as men──!!!!”

If any boy has an objection, let them come before me. If there’s a single one, I shall discard my theory.

Anyhow, even though they were just acting, those beautiful girls were exactly his type. And even though

it was a misunderstanding, they were girls that had fallen in love with him! And those girls were──!!

“They have tempted me this much! And yet, my diamond-like reason has held thus far! You should praise

me don’t you think!? And since you should praise me, there is no reason to reproach me ── don’t you

think──!?”

26 This is written in bad english in the original: ユーアベリ～ＮＯ

He was more or less enjoying the first ‘popular period’ of his life. He didn’t deny that, however no man

could be blamed for that! And in response to Sora’s passionate complaint:

── There was both clapping and sighs.

Jibril was stuck by his brilliant speech. She wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes and clapped.

It was too troublesome to argue with him, so Miko and Shiro looked at him with half-lidded eyes and

sighed.

Sora bathed in both insults and praise, however, at the same time ── he admitted it.

The reason why his precious diamond was only barely still unscathed was──

“Lesen: Successful courtship scenario creation weapon. Liebe Erfolg Situation Forme── ‘True

Sora Seducer: Check Martyr’ ── Prototype 0009”

With that, polygons suddenly floated through the room and the scenery distorted. This was the tenth scene

produced by the Ex-Machina’s ‘Spatial overwrite’. That very scene was what was preserving Sora’s

reason ── it was:

“Hm… What about the girl that just confessed to me you say? I feel bad for her but I politely declined…”

“… No. I’m not listening. I didn’t hear anything this perverted robot said”

── It was because of Einzig.

The sunset came in through a small window… were they inside the basketball club’s clubroom? Anxious

and wearing a uniform, Einzig had started a conversation with no context.

At some point he made Sora wear the same clothes. Sora’s reply had been very annoyed but:

“… Hmm. Why did I refuse you ask?”

“I told you I’m not listening! I’m not interested either── d-don’t come any closer, go away!!”

He did not pay Sora any mind, and kept forcing the scenario. The perverted machine sidled up to the

frightened Sora and said with a sportsmanlike smile:

“Don’t make me say it… it’s because this unit ── correction. Because I

like someone else, yo──”

“Shut uuuuuuuuuup. Stop your babliiiiiiiing!!”

If the beautiful robot girls were the only ones seducing him, his diamond might have cracked.

However, since a s

erious homo robot was seducing him too── his sanity value was decreasing more than

his reason. He was scared it was already too low, so:

“You bastard, just try and finish that phrase! I’ll run away to a place where you won’t be able to see me

again!!”

── ‘That’s right, maybe I’ll go back to that world’ It was enough to make Sora scream something like

that.The memory that gave birth to that fear came to the forefront of his mind like a revolving lantern────

■■■

── He didn’t have any intention of letting them win so easily.

The chess game between Sora and the Ex-Machinas had started with that conviction. But of course ── in

the end, it was a mostly one-sided game. It was an obvious result. But even so…

“……………………. Damn…..” Sora cursed and glared at the board.

“… Nii… It’s okay… all right…?” Shiro muttered and hugged Sora.

── I

knew it. I’m not like Shiro. Sora thought and grinded his teeth.

Understanding all the possible states of the board and declaring it to be ‘just like Tic-Tac-Toe’ was

something impossible for him since the start.

His opponents, the Ex-Machina, were transcendental computers ── there was no way he could win in a

game of finding the best possible moves.

Even so, he had accumulated tens of thousands of defeats against Shiro. But even then, the countless

strategies and established tactics that he had devised in order to win against Shiro, were all defeated.

He had even targeted computer specific errors through misdirection, but even so he didn’t stand a chance.

It was just as Einzig happily said:

“… As expected of my beloved Spieler… to think that you’d be able to ‘tie

’ against us…”

That’s right, it had ended in a ‘draw’ ── but in truth, it had been an ‘overwhelming defeat’.

── I

can’t win.

Sora had decided

that somewhere along the way, and devoted himself to bringing the

game to a tie.

In the first place, chess has a first-mover advantage. If one aimed for a draw that advantage is even

greater.

… The same moves didn’t work against them twice, they were infinitely adapting transcendental

computers, and yet, he didn’t lose.

Shiro is one thing, but since it was Sora, it could be said that he went above and beyond, right?

Shiro, who was still hugging him, Jibril, who had been spectating, and Steph all thought that, right?

── However, in the end, it had been just futile resistance.

‘A tie means the Ex-Machina win’… That was one of the ‘few’ rules they had added.

Be it a defeat or a tie, the result would be exactly the same. Even so, he hated losing from the bottom of

his heart. He was just being obstinate. There was no way he could accept it. Sora was grinding his teeth in

frustration because of his crushing defeat. However, Einzig ── no, Emiline too:

“── that playstyle, that will spoke to us

. You are none other than our beloved Spieler after all.”

He and all the other Ex-Machina gave Sora a complicated smile.

………….?

Sora, Shiro, Jibril and Steph. Not a single one of them understood what that meant.

“In any case, this was our victory. In accordance with the Pledges, we would like you to follow our

demand,” Einzig stood up from his chair and told him. Did he have no intention of being clear?

“…iiiiiit!! Damn it!! I get it!! A loss is a loss!!” Sora screamed, as if to defy his own desperation.

Getting depressed and sulky wouldn’t change anything. Introspection and countermeasures came later!

Right now ── where should we go from here?

Was more important!!

Sora quickly changed gears, pointed at Einzig, and said:

“However, your demand didn’t specify ‘when’ or ‘with whom’ all right!?”

That was precisely why it was a weird demand. Sora pointed that out and watched out for their response.

── They had ‘checkmated’ Sora this easily.

There’s no way they’d overlook such a flaw. There has to be a catch. Sora’s eyes were intently looking

out for that, but Einzig simply returned his look and said:

“But of course. One cannot force love! Our beloved Spieler shall decide who to love.”

“… oh～?… So that time you guys wouldn’t let me refuse your love was just my imagination then?… That

would be the biggest surprise of the day.” Sora sarcastically replied.

Einzig wasn’t lying ── or at least, that’s how his smiling reply looked to Sora. Was it even possible to

see through a machine’s lie? No, in the first place, do machines even lie?

“Indeed… That is why ── we only desire to obtain some s

pecific information at once,” Einzig answered.

Sora narrowed his eyes at that and looked at him with caution.

They didn’t even specify a deadline for the baby making. However, amongst their ridiculous demands,

there was a single one Sora had to fulfill immediately.

It was one of the ‘few’ rules they had added: ‘Immediately provide information regarding Sora’s

preferences.’…

──He really can’t read the Ex-Machina’s true intentions, or the meaning behind that vague demand.

Depending on what they specifically request here, Sora might be able to grasp those true intentions.

Was their alliance declaration really true? Or perhaps…

Sora was glaring at Einzig with that in mind, but

Einzig just continued:

“We are ashamed to admit it, but we still don’t have enough information to earn our beloved Spieler’s

love”

…………

“More specifically, what do I have to do to get the Spieler to love this unit, and accept this unit’s love?!

Our information is severely lacking in that department!” Einzig said loudly, and the Ex-Machina girls

nodded all at once.

Sora was at his wit’s ends. He was groaning and had a fierce headache, so in his stead, someone else tried

to clarify things──

“Uhmmm… Sora will do uhm that

with just one unit right?” Steph tried to clarify that first ── and

received nods in response.

“… So… every Ex-Machina… wants to… be chosen… themselves…?” Shiro tried to clarify that next ──

and received nods in response.

“Therefore, you want Master to tell you what you should do to get him to like you?” Jibril── much like

the others also received nods from the Ex-Machina girls.

It can’t be ── Was this really their true intention?

Still at his wits’ ends, Sora looked at Einzig and squeezed out his voice:

“… at the very least, as far as y

ou are concerned, there’s not a single piece of information I can provide”

“Wh-why… Why, oh my beloved Spieler!?”

“A method to get me to love the crooked homo robot in front of me!? That’s impossible!!”

However, the crooked pervert was kicked out ── literally, physically kicked out and sent to the wall once

more. In his place, Emiline told Sora their demands dispassionately and concisely:

“Decision: The material Master uses to beat his meat

. That’s all the information we want.”

“… meat27? Why are we suddenly talking about food?”

“There you go feigning ignorance again Dola-chan. She’s talking about the media a gentleman uses for

masturbation♥”

Ah… Steph blushed. It seems that she remembered now. But in the end:

“But why Master’s fap material? What does that have to do with getting him to like you?” Jibril said with

her head tilted to the side. What answered her question was Shiro’s irritated muttering:

“… They’ll find out… Nii’s sexual preferences… from his fap material… the Ex-Machina are a

dangerous… enemy…”

── Finding out Sora’s preferences, doing what he likes ── and making him fall in love with them.

When she noticed the Ex-Machina’s sly plot, Shiro started to bite her nails nervously ── and next to her:

“…………………………………..”

27 Here, they use an expression more along the lines of ‘fap material’, however ‘side dish’ is a homophone in

japanese, and that’s what the too pure Steph understood.