No, It was My Fault for Loving You - Chapter 61

Leopold exchanged words with the butler who appeared to greet him at the entrance and went straight to his room.

He sat down on the couch and ruminated on what he just heard in the morning.

He recalled it over and over again, chewing it over and over.

It’s an incredible story of going back in time.

And then there’s Rembrandt’s words.

— “That’s what you did then, Leopold.”

I couldn’t believe it.

I don’t want to believe it.

However, if Alejandro had continued to beat him, the Reinalpha family would have forced him to marry into an influential family.

What if he really did marry into an influential family to survive?

And if, at that time, Beatrice reached out to him, he is sure that he, himself, would have accepted it.

If she told him that it was okay to hold a white marriage, and that he would not have to betray Natalia, and that he could have Natalia as his future wife when Beatrice’s life is over…

“…”

He clenched his fists tightly.

His nails dug into his palm.

Rembrandt told him that he, Leopold, had changed.  A little bit, just a little bit, but still a decent change, he said.

But that’s why I understand.

Indeed, I’m sure what happened in the past…

I am sure that he would have accepted Beatrice’s words as they were, and without any doubts, I would have simply indulged myself and be happy that I did not have to pretend to be something I was not.

“…at that time, I’m sure that Rembrandt felt more disgusted at me than he is now…I must have looked like the worst kind of a5sh0le.”

He leaned back and let out a deep sigh.

What were you thinking back then ーーーRembrandt saved me a bit when he said that.

ーーー”You have changed, I felt that I should tell you that.”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

Don’t get frightened here and don’t stop thinking.

Beatrice has memories, and Rembrandt knew about those memories after he heard about them.

It was no wonder that Beatrice and Rembrandt both lent a hand to him, even though they hated him and avoided him so much.

Then, at the very least, all I can do now is respond to it.

I want to change a little, a little more. I want to change.

What should I do?

What can I do?

Before the regression, Natalia had chosen him instead of Alejandro.

He guessed that the story revolved around that. If Alejandro wanted to use drugs to prevent himself and Natalia from remarrying…

So why wasn’t that the case when she was kidnapped?

Why did Natalia follow Alejandro, jump into that guy’s chest over his own voice of protest, and fall into the river with him?

Did the period when he went undercover, during which they couldn’t meet, changed her mind? Or was it that letter and pendant that he gave to dispel her fears?

He gently stroked the wounds, which had almost healed, over the bandage.

He hadn’t seen her for a long time… when he saw her through the special glass, she looked somewhat like a different person from before.

…

When she saw Rembrandt entering the room, she was surprised and bowed her head, then she heard him say that he was the messenger from that time.

At times, she was mumbling, at other times, she was stammering, still desperately searching for the right words.

“In the world before regression, I killed Beatrice-sama.” She said sadly.

“Even though I was drugged, I still commited that murderous act. It’s still terrible to stab someone to death with a knife”, She said to him in a self-mocking tone.

“I heard that he, Beatrice, and I were good friends. Alejandro told me so.”

Natalia, who is a crybaby, was still full of tears as she said that, but her appearance was somehow different from the Natalia he knew.

When Natalia learned that Rembrandt was Beatrice’s brother, she was even more horrified and bowed again and again to apologize.

“I’m sorry for causing so much trouble.” She said.

“Thanks to your advice, I was able to catch the rats in the house, but that was as far as I could go, and this is what ended up happening.” She said with a tearful smile on her face.

…

Leopold didn’t understand half of what Natalia meant when she mentioned those things. His ears were only picking up their sounds, but his head refused to comprehend them, and while doing so, before he knew it, everything was over.

He snapped at Rembrandt without knowing why and was easily confronted with the facts.

That was no delusion. It’s about a memory of a time that was erased.

It was about a stupid decision that I would have made again if I hadn’t changed.

Think.

What should I do?

Think.

Now I know what I’m missing.

I don’t want to make mistakes anymore.

So….

“…”

Leopold, who had been sinking into an abyss of thought, came to himself when a knock on the door announced that dinner was ready.

Before he knew it, the sun had set and it was pitch black outside the window, where the curtains had not even been drawn.

“…okay.”

He straightened his posture and stood up.

That’s right.

Let’s start here.

I have to start from here.

There are some things that only I can take care of.

He opened the door and asked the butler, who was standing there, to deliver a message.

“Tell my father that I need some time with him after dinner.”

I have something I want to talk to you about ーーー