Not Super Robot Wars at All - Chapter 184

After Ed took Roland’s call and left, the huge room was empty, and only Lux was left. The sudden bad news made her panicked, and she had no appetite for dinner. She left a note for Taoxiang on the dining table, and then went back to the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Needless to think about it, Roland was probably going to ask Eolia, C.C. and An Qi went to Lilith, but she stayed at home stupidly and didn’t know what she could do. The plot ran wild on the path of fantasy, and her area of ​​expertise became meaningless overnight, leaving her to watch the development of the story like an outsider, unable to participate in it at all.

But the thought that the situation was somehow caused by her made her breathless with guilt. I kept talking about destroying everything, but once I saw the beloved man about to disappear, my persistence seemed to instantly become meaningless, leaving only an endless sense of guilt.

The drawer of the bedside table was opened, and there was a chic dagger inside. This was brought back from Dakar. Apart from its sharpness and barely commendable appearance, it had no other characteristics. It was just a souvenir that was bought in a hurry to cover up the secret meeting.

Lux picked up the dagger and pressed it to her forearm, the cold touch made her skin tight. With the slight force of the wrist holding the handle, the blade cut open the skin, cut blood vessels, and pierced into the muscles unimpededly. The bright red blood beads leaked out and dripped through the arm onto the skirt. The pleasure brought by the pain made her unable to help closing her eyes and groaning slightly.

However, this will not last long. With the help of a huge amount of nanoworms in the body, the wounds that are not too deep begin to heal slowly, the lost blood is replenished, and even the pain is relieved. The sense of guilt is pouring back like a tide again, and only by continuing to create new wounds can we get more comfort.

When she recovered, the skirt had been dyed dark red.

“Well, Minerva is coming back.” Lacus thought suddenly, “you have to wash your clothes off in advance.”

She didn’t hurriedly wiped the knife and put it back in place, and then carefully checked the floor or the sheets did not get blood stains before leaving the room with confidence. When she came to the bathroom, took off her clothes and stuffed it into the washing machine, and poured a lot of bleach and softener, Lacus hesitated for a moment and decided to take a bath first.

Turn on the shower switch, and the warm water poured down and slapped on the head, sliding over the long hair, chest, lower abdomen and legs, and finally sinking into the ground. The sound of crackling water filled my ears, completely covering up my breath and heartbeat. The body, which was a little cold due to blood loss, gradually became warmer, and the brain that had been down for a long time finally started to work slowly.

“Now, Lux.” She asked herself, “When did it start to be like this?”

She has always been guilty of C.C., and the longer she gets along with C.C., the more she understands how precious to C.C. she once cruelly took away. She didn’t hate An Qi, but she couldn’t help but be jealous of Ed’s passion when she was with her and never appeared when she was with others.

She is the daughter of a politician, and her education tells her that Ed’s emotional investment can be called a role model relative to his status. If you don’t believe it, just look at Xia Ya. That’s a high position. The normal state of the person. She even knew that her father had his own little secret before he was alive, but she didn’t know it because of her daughter’s filial piety and consideration.

When did that start? From what moment did she feel that she felt betrayed and that her feelings were questioned? Without any pause, the fragment entered her brain mercilessly, and a deep roar was mixed with the sound of water.

“How can you…” The hot water flows across your cheeks, mixing with some other things, “…how can Char Aznab come into our home?”

She has no prejudice against Minerva, except that she thinks the little girl is a bit evil, and separates her from her father. But she couldn’t bear it anyway. The man who killed her father appeared in her and his house casually, grandly, and shamelessly. What made her worldview collapsed was that the man left with her husband’s approval. Come in.

She doesn’t think her husband is stupid enough to do this kind of thing, so there is only one answer-forget it.

So what exactly is her Lux for him? Is it some kind of collectible that you can’t put it down? After you get it, you will put it in the glass case carefully, and take it out to play with it when you think of it? Did he remember when she fell in love with him because of what happened? Is this something that can be forgotten?

Although Ed tried to show constant care in the days that followed, she always wanted to use the reason that her husband’s EQ was too low to paralyze herself, but the realm of reality and imagination has become blurred.

C.C. is his most important person, An Qi is his favorite person, Minerva has a special meaning for him who continues to doubt himself. Only oneself seemed to be a role added by the screenwriter on a whim, and was thrown aside after using it up. She obviously lives in this house, but she always feels that she is the only one who is incompatible with everyone else.

Such suspicious dark thoughts constantly eroded her sanity, making her feel inexplicably alienated from everyone. And whenever she felt alienated inexplicably, it seemed to confirm the correctness of the previous dark thoughts in turn. After the vicious circle again and again, she finally inevitably slipped into the abyss of self-destruction.

In fact, Ed has worked hard countless times, every time she is touched and enjoys it, and it is clear that everything she has done is meaningless. But the matter of deceiving herself and others seemed to have inertia. She didn’t know how to stop and was unable to actively stop. Her throat was blocked by fear, and she couldn’t even call for help. She could only watch her dragging her favorite person. Toward the end of the bust, the pig leaped forward.

“If you want to die, die by yourself, see what you do.” The hoarse voice didn’t seem to come from her throat. “Until the end he didn’t even know the murderer, ha…haha ……Ha ha ha ha……”

Yes, ‘until the end’-she doesn’t think Ed can make it through this time.

Although Ed has worked hard to be cheerful when he initiated his own affairs, the lines that seem to explain the funeral and the tragic emotions hidden under the surface may be hidden from the flustered CC and the simple-minded An Qi, but there is no way to hide them. She is delicate in mind. Asking Lilith or Aeolia for help or something, Ed had no hope from the beginning, and she trusted her husband’s judgment.

In other words, considering that he has to leave quite a bit of time for Minerva, and maybe even have to explain some things about Asuka and the others, the conversation before going out is most likely the last conversation between her and him. As for the dreamlike good thing that he can talk happily every day after becoming LCL, judging from his intensified and tragic experience in the past, the world will not be so gentle to him.

“I got so much from him but I didn’t give him anything. Not only that, but it also made things like this. Should you be called shameful? Or is it pathetic?” She raised her slender white neck and let the water slap her cheeks. , “At least at the very end, do something that only you can do.”

Turn off the shower, dry her body, and put on her pajamas. Lacus glanced at the washing machine by the way. The clothes are already drying, and there is no blood on them.

Leaving the bathroom and going to the living room, she happened to see Momoka greeting Minerva for dinner. The lady maid didn’t prepare her share, she must have seen the notes she left. She walked straight to Minerva, hugged her in the girl’s startled eyes, and immediately let go.

“Sister Lux?” Minerva asked suspiciously. “Did something… happen?”

“I can understand that you like An Qi, after all, it’s hard not to like her.” She gently stroked the girl’s soft hair, “but don’t be too mean to C.C. It’s really not easy for her.”

“What happened?” Minerva became alert. “Is it a bad thing?”

“Although it is not appropriate to say that you are still a novel, but I always think that if you grow up, you will definitely become a rival in love.” Lacus said self-consciously, “If that day can come, I will Forgive you in advance with a grateful heart.”

After speaking, she squeezed the little girl’s face affectionately, and turned upstairs without nostalgia, leaving Minerva and Taoxiang staring at each other.

When I returned to the bedroom, the smell of blood had been completely removed by the excellent ventilation system. She threw herself on the bed, picked up the phone on the bedside table, and found Ayanami’s name in the address book. She grabbed a little tail of Ayanami before and used it as an opportunity to keep in touch with the other party.

Ed somehow preconceived that Ayanami was a simple-minded and taciturn character. Regarding this, Lacus could only say that he was too unsuspecting of beautiful women, but it doesn’t matter much now.

She sent a text message to Ayanami and asked two questions, and the other party quickly replied.

“Can a changer live in LCL like NT? Can two NTs who also live in LCL speak?”

“Yes, but it won’t change back. NT can, but the change maker is not sure.”

When she got the answer, she threw the phone aside, hugged her knees contentedly, buried her head in the crotch, her long pink hair hanging down to cover her face.

Uncertainty means possible, so it’s worth a try. This is the only salvation for her who has done so many irreversible things, and it is also something that only she can do.

The only regret is that I couldn’t surrender to him in the end. If the answer to the second question is no, then I really have to spend the rest of my life in a test tube with regret. As for the side effect of not being changed back, huh, it should alleviate the guilt better than cutting the arm with a knife?

With a hint of fear and more relief, Lux quietly closed her eyes. She was awakened by the sound of the bedroom door being opened for an unknown period of time.

Ed miraculously appeared in front of her, and the beating heart in her chest told her that she was not dreaming. I don’t know why I feel a bit dry and dry, and I don’t follow the instructions of my brain at all. This was really the last chance. Ed extended an invisible hand to her, and she tried to grasp it with all her strength.

Courage, she needs courage, as long as she takes a half step forward, as long as I hold his hand here, I won’t have any regrets, no matter what the answer to the second question is, I can greet the future calmly.

“Ed, I—”

“君の姿は~僕に似ている~同じ世界を见てる、君がいる事って~”

…It’s over, it’s like that again, I should have known it a long time ago. Probably it’s retribution. If you want to confess when you get things to this point, it would be too good to think about it. She deserves it, this is the ending she deserves, but she still can’t help… dreaming.

Please, just once, say no, say no, say no!

There was a moment of silence, the music stopped abruptly, and then she heard the most beautiful voice in the world: “No.”

What kind of expression should I make at this time? She has no clue at all, only trying to put on a smile can make herself stop crying. Now if he starts to cry suddenly, he will be very troubled, right?

“I clearly feel that the rest of life is like a candle in the wind. Lilith is connected to that end, right?” The man in front of him gave a helpless smile, “So even if he is reluctant, he must prioritize the rest. Level up.”

What should I do if I want to laugh, and the expression that I want to cry and laugh must be ugly, right?

“CC is my indispensable coordinate in this world. An Qi can always ignite my distorted impulse. Only when I am with you, it is pure love. I don’t know what proportion of love is from your side. , My side is 100%, so from a certain angle you are special to me.”

Oh my god, you can’t show other women when you talk about love! And taking this passage as an example, doesn’t it make sense to change the order in front of C.C. and An Qi? However, his emotional intelligence cannot be too high, so such a speech is enough.

“I know that I must be wrong, so I have been thinking about where the problem was in the first place. Recently, I just remembered that Xia was gone. At that time, I was full of Embrio’s things, ignoring your feelings. Invite him to the house. Until now I find that I have made such a serious mistake. I am really a fool. I’m sorry.”

… Forgive you, really.

“Livontz is probably dead, right? The Laplace program is in your hands? You also introduced the apostle? Char also knows about this. It is very likely that you have threatened you with this, right? The people close to me have been enduring torture until Xia reminded me that I was really an idiot who didn’t realize all this. I’m sorry.”

Not stupid at all, idiot, you are too smart.

“I’m sorry, but I have been apologizing for not much time left, and I have left you some bad memories. I also know that this is not good, but it’s just… I’m a little scared. There is always something that will happen once it becomes LCL I have a bad feeling of being unable to talk to others anymore. When I think of this, I…I just…”

“I will be with you.” Lacus stood up and hugged him, and said softly, “No matter where you go, no matter what you become, I will be with you.”

He didn’t understand, it didn’t matter, he couldn’t make him feel guilty. She knew something terrible about guilt.

“Time is coming,” he said with a sigh, “It’s time to say goodbye.”

Not necessarily, maybe I will see you again.

“I want to hear you sing.” He paused, trying to make a relieved expression, “Your dad, it’s wrong, my dad secretly gave me your photo and a record, and from that moment you officially walked in. My life. So, guess what I want to hear?”

Of course she remembered, of course she knew, so she sang a cappella. The words are very clear and the tone is also accurate, showing her usual level. In her singing, in her arms, his body slowly began to soften and slowly lose its shape. Until her vision became blurred, she still tried to maintain her singing. She didn’t stop until the hallucinations appeared before her eyes.

Is it an illusion caused by tears? I clearly remembered that it was in the bedroom, but the room seemed to have turned into a universe, and she saw the sky full of silver stars in a daze.