Novelist Running Through Time - Chapter 90

TL: KSD

Produced by PD Park Young-tae’s Studio. A genuine variety show about cooking meals in the countryside. The “도” in <안빈낙도> is not the “도” meaning road, but the “도” (島) meaning island. (TL: In the previous chapter, I translated it as ‘Peaceful Uninhabited Island,’ but here I have left it as it is to make sense of the sentence and will use the translated version the next time it appears.)

Just like its name, it’s a variety show filmed on an island. A small island without supermarkets or neighboring residents. The cast must fend for themselves to find food.

The means do not matter. Whether picking shells by the beach, going out to fish on a boat, or winning mini-games against the production team…

The sight of them rolling around and struggling just to eat on a deserted island could be said to be the fun point of this variety show.

“But it’s going to be a bit difficult to be self-sufficient this season, isn’t it?”

“Indeed, it would be. Since there are two more mouths to feed.”

The addition of Kim Byul and Moon In-seop brought a fresh atmosphere to the stale variety show. However, that also meant there were two more mouths to feed for the members.

What kind of farming and housework could two kids do? Of course, they could if they really had to, but if the production team really made the kids work, they would be criticized.

Anticipating this, PD Park Young-tae and the staff prepared plenty of ingredients for the members.

Of course, they won’t just give them away. They would have to go through brutal mini-games.

But that’s all part of the fun, right?

“Hehehe…”

PD Park Young-tae seemed to already envision the members pleading desperately for one more chance after failing a mission miserably.

However, such a situation did not occur.

That evening, PD Park Young-tae had to stare blankly at Moon In-seop with hollow eyes.

EP 6 – The Show Must Go On

The moment we approached the remote island in the South Sea, I felt a strange scent. It was hard to definitively say it was the smell of the sea breeze, nor could it be easily said to be the smell of the island’s trees. A mysterious sensation.

If anything, it could also be said to smell like fog. The island in the morning was enveloped in white fog. Now, the sunlight rising from beyond the horizon was chaotically scattering through the fog.

“I should have brought some manuscript paper…”

As I was muttering while sitting on the boat, a PD who seemed to be Park Young-tae’s right-hand man approached me with the eyes of a bird looking for prey.

“Oh, Writer-nim, don’t you have manuscript paper?!”

“Goodness!”

“Haha, sorry. You don’t have manuscript paper, by the way?”

Surprisingly, she said she could provide me with manuscript paper. When I asked why there would be manuscript paper at a variety shoot, she said it was because of me.

“Because of me?”

“Yes, we bought it just in case. Let us know whenever you need it!”

At that moment, I realized the staff wanted to capture me writing on camera during this shoot.

Through various activities, the suspicion of ghostwriting had become so irrelevant that it was pointless to mention, but there had never been a broadcast of me actually writing.

It would certainly become a topic of conversation if my writing scene was aired.

But that was impossible.

“I’m sorry. I’m in a slump…”

“Oh…”

With that little incident, we arrived at the island. It was a secluded island with hardly any people visible.

However, there was a strangely sophisticated lodging waiting for us, making it somewhat eerie to see a modern two-story villa on a remote island.

Yet, the original members of <Peaceful Uninhabited Island> were thrilled, their eyes gleaming.

“Really… This is really our lodging?”

“Of course.”

“Really really?”

“Absolutely absolutely.”

“Wowwww…!”

While the two minors awkwardly hung back, unable to adapt to the filming location, the grown-ups jumped around like children and entered the lodging.

Excited voices could be heard from here and there.

“Look at this! It’s a bed!”

“There’s a sofa in the living room! It’s soft!”

“Whoa… There’s a TV!”

“It doesn’t turn on though?”

“Let’s appreciate that it’s there.”

Seeing recognizable celebrities jumping around like primitive people encountering modern civilization for the first time made me guess how harsh the filming had been up until the last season.

Could the production team have been lenient because two kids joined? Maybe it was the result of considerations for the two female members.

Naturally, one was Kim Byul, and the other was an actress whose name I hadn’t memorized yet. She approached me with a kind voice.

“Are you okay, Writer-nim?”

“Yes?”

“Ha ha, I was just wondering if you think the lodging looks okay.”

“Ah, yes…….”

“That’s good to hear. I was worried before coming to the shooting, but it seems comfortable enough here. You wouldn’t believe how many bugs there were last season…….”

Except for Kim Byul, the other members of <Peaceful Uninhabited Island> decided to call me ‘Writer-nim.’

It wasn’t necessarily a title of respect for a literary author; it was because I flinched whenever people on set yelled ‘Writer-nim!’ looking for the scriptwriter.

But even considering that, this unknown actress’s attitude seemed overly gracious.

“Please, feel free to speak casually, seonsaeng-nim.” (TL: Seonsaeng which means teacher and also used when addressing someone whose professional status is unknown equivalent to Sensei)

“Seonsaeng-nim…! Did you just call me seonsaeng-nim?”

“Yes? Is there a problem…….”

“No! Being a Seonsaeng was my dream when I was younger. Suddenly hearing ‘seonsaeng‘ makes me feel strange.”

Despite everything, the actress did not give up on using formal language with me. Even as she did so, she managed to keep up a too-friendly demeanor and gracefully left.

Finding her overly friendly attitude strange, I was pondering over it when Kim Byul sneakily approached and poked my side.

“That unnie is also a movie actress…”

“Eh?”

“Director So Tae-woong’s obsession with you is well known.”

“Ah.”

“So don’t get it twisted. Remember there’s a reason why people treat you nicely…….”

For a moment, I considered if I should flick Kim Byul’s forehead, thinking she was essentially saying, <Hey. The only reason you’re loved is because of the scraps falling off you.>

But soon, I realized her words were advice to ‘not get cocky or arrogant, and to always maintain a humble attitude on set,’ and I felt grateful to Kim Byul.

“Thanks for the advice, Kim sunbae.”

“Th-thank you……”

Kim Byul, embarrassed, ran off.

Without chasing after her, I wandered around the spacious villa until PD Park Young-tae gathered everyone in the living room.

“Now, now! Everyone! Please gather around for a moment!”

As the excited members roamed around the spacious villa, the oldest member, actor Bae Seong-won, asked cheerfully.

“Wait, PD-nim! Is it really okay to shoot in such a nice place!”

“I was about to talk about that.”

According to PD Park Young-tae, the reason there was such a sophisticated villa on this remote island was that it was built by a wealthy individual.

However, the villa was abandoned not long after.

So, if we were to give this place a name, it would be <The Abandoned Villa of an Unnamed Tycoon>.

“Ah, this sounds like the beginning of a horror movie…….”

“That… Is the villa abandoned because something strange appears at night…….”

“Don’t scare me like that!”

PD Park Young-tae reassured the frightened cast.

“Fortunately, it wasn’t abandoned because of ghosts. The owner moved to the US. His child became very successful there, you see. So, this villa naturally became… Yeah.”

“Oh, I see.”

“By the way, his name is Kim Chun-bae. He’s a real estate investor. It was easy to get permission because he’s a friend of the father of our camera director.”

Hearing it was <The Abandoned Villa of Real Estate Investor Kim Chun-bae> somehow made it feel more relatable.

The members all relaxed and began to inquire about various aspects of Kim Chun-bae’s House.

And then, PD Park Young-tae kindly informed us that now was not the time to feel relieved.

“But there’s no running water?”

“Of course. It’s an abandoned villa, after all.”

“And the lights don’t turn on either…”

“Of course. It’s an abandoned villa, after all.”

“…Perhaps there’s no gas for cooking either?”

“Of course.”

“So, how do we cook our meals?”

“That’s why I’ve prepared something. Everyone! Please come out to the yard!”

PD Park Young-tae, smiling brightly, pointed out two items.

One was a stack of bottled water boxes, and the other was a hearth.

“…Do we have to start a fire in the hearth here too?”

“Yes.”

Survival had begun.

* * *

<Peaceful Uninhabited Island> was originally a program about doing all sorts of things on a remote island to make meals.

Thanks to that, once the members’ initial shock subsided, they quickly found their respective tasks.

Finding firewood for the hearth from the storage, setting traps around the island, exploring the island to fill the broadcast content…

Because of this, only Kim Byul and I were left aimlessly in the living room.

“…What do we do now?”

“Exactly.”

“Don’t the staff usually give out missions or something? Kim sunbae?”

“There’s none of that here. It’s a real variety show.”

“But still, don’t scriptwriters provide some guidance?”

“You, you’ve just mentioned something that should absolutely never be brought up in variety shows… You’re getting edited out.”

“Oh no.”

While Kim Byul and I were idly chatting, someone decked out in fishing gear approached us and started a conversation in a friendly manner.

It was the actor Bae Seong-won.

“Our Author Moon calls Byul not ‘noona’ but ‘Kim sunbae’?”

“Are you curious about the behind-the-scenes story?”

Kim Byul, with a merciless elbow jab to my sixth rib, silenced me.

As I lay on the living room sofa rolling around, Kim Byul and Bae Seong-won laughed and chatted.

“Are you going fishing, sunbae-nim?”

“Why do you do this, Kim Byul sunbae? Why do you call me ‘sunbae’ when I debuted later than you…?”

“Are you going fishing, Seong-won?”

“Hahaha! This kid, always teasing. Hey! You’re younger than my own daughter!”

“Then what should I call you!”

“Ah, forget it. Just call me ‘sunbae’. Though I’m not really one.”

Bae Seong-won had been friendly with Kim Byul since before. They had acted as father and daughter in a drama during her child actor days.

The way Bae Seong-won looked at Kim Byul wasn’t much different from their roles back then. After all, seeing a kid you knew before she even entered elementary school grow up so much, she would feel like a daughter.

In truth, Kim Byul was treated as ‘our returned daughter’ by many senior actors in the entertainment industry, and from what I could see, that was her greatest asset.

“Byul, do you want to come fishing too?”

“I don’t really know how to fish…”

“Just watch from the side. You don’t have anything else to do here anyway.”

“Hmm…”

With Kim Byul showing lukewarm interest, Bae Seong-won’s gaze turned towards me.

“Eh. If you don’t like it, never mind. Oh, Author Moon. Do you like fishing?”

“Fishing…?”

“Yes. If you don’t know how, should I teach you?”

Ah.

Fishing.

Hearing that word, distant memories flashed by. Memories of following Professor Gu Hak-jun, carrying fishing rods around the country to various fishing spots…

-Moon-gun. In August, the mackerel… (TL: gun used here is term for addressing younger men or boys)

-Moon-gun. About lure fishing, perhaps…

-Moon-gun. I’ve rented a boat this time…

-Moon-gun!

-Moon-gun…

A professor with a wrinkled face wearing a hat smiling kindly at me, extending his hand. On the hook wriggles a lively earthworm…

“Author Moon?”

“Ah.”

I snapped out of my reverie at Bae Seong-won’s call.

I nodded enthusiastically.

Since I’m on a variety show, I might as well do something.

“I like fishing. I’ll come with you.”

Bae Seong-won smiled confidently and snapped his fingers.

“Great! I’ll teach you well!”

Seemingly changing her mind belatedly, Kim Byul also followed.

“I, I’ll go too then!”

***

All attempts to procure food on the island were foiled.

The members who went out to explore the island despaired over the absence of neighbors to beg food from, and those organizing the villa were furious upon realizing that the production team had removed all food from the house.

Of course, this was all part of PD Park Young-tae’s wicked plan.

It might be a bit harsh to say to the cast, but there’s no ‘desperation’ in an environment where everyone is full and warm.

Of course, one could act desperate. But the audience isn’t foolish. The moment even a hint of pretense seeps in, a reality variety show loses its vitality.

Certainly, entertainers who have been together for years could extract fun without needing to be pushed. After all, they are professionals of ‘fun.’

However, the members of <Peaceful Uninhabited Island> are not professional entertainers.

That’s why he, as a professional, must push them forward. Fun comes from authenticity. And people, when slightly starved, become sincere.

Desperation. The truth that emerges from that is the greatest weapon of a reality variety show.

There’s no viewer who can’t empathize with hunger. That’s why they must be starved first, then made to play mini-games for food.

That’s the very basics.

“Ah! This isn’t right, PD-nim!”

“We’re over here struggling, and you’re eating ham?”

“Devil!”

It’s all an inevitable decision for the success of the program.

He’s okay with being resented. He’s used to being the villain……

However, PD Park Young-tae’s efforts to starve the cast meticulously went down the drain.

Just before the meticulously prepared mini-game was to start that evening.

PD Park Young-tae stared blankly at a bucket with hollow eyes.

The bucket was full of fish, vigorously flapping around.

It was unbelievable.

But as if trying to instill the faith that PD Park Young-tae lacked, actor Bae Seong-won, with a flushed face as if testifying to the miracle of the five loaves and two fish, shouted. (TL: If you don’t know about 5 loaves and 2 fishes read here -> https://su.edu.ph/2065-5-loaves-2-fishes/)

“Guys! He’s is really good at fishing!”

“Incredible…”

“He’s like a god! The god of fishing!”

Moon In-seop had caught 17 mackerels alone.

*****

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