Of All Things, I Became a Crow - CH 119

*Rainelle’s POV

I looked into Namuel’s eyes. To be honest, Namuel was a very good teacher. He was really good at explaining even when the topic was a bit off from his area of expertise. He was a great teacher who even gave examples in an easy-to-understand way.

—The problem is that because of such a serious and passionate attitude, I can’t even ask about Aria.

“—Rainelle-nim, do you have any questions?”

“…Yes, yes?!”

“Haven’t you been looking at me for a while? If you have any questions, please tell me. I’ll be happy to answer them.”

Hearing him saying that while he raised his glasses slightly with his index finger, I became a bit embarrassed.

Was it that obvious?

Haa, I’m curious… Hearing other people’s love stories is the most fun, but…

Above all else, Namuel’s awakening is very important. To get an understanding, I need to know Namuel’s feelings for Aria…

The more I thought about it, the more my head got complicated, and the more I sighed.

—Ughh, if Aria liked other characters, Karmeut wouldn’t have been in danger

But one can’t force a person’s heart…

I opened my mouth with a feeling which name I don’t know. It was a question that I asked because I thought I should know how Namuel feels since there was nothing to lose anyway,

“It’s a question that has nothing to do with the class, but… does Namuel like anyone?”

At that, Namuel paused.

“…why do you ask that?”

“Umm… just curious? And to be honest, I’ve been listening to empress’s classes all day, so I’m kind of bored.”

I looked at him as if saying, “So tell me~.”

Namuel looked embarrassed. As if troubled, he clamped his mouth and looked around for a bit. Finally, he sighed and answered,

“…Okay… I’m not sure it’s what Rainelle-nim wants to hear… but there is someone intriguing.”

What? Intriguing?

My eyes widened at the unexpected answer.

…Should I be glad that it means Namuel’s awakening is quite far away, or should I be sorry that he’s just thinking like this even after Aria had put in so much effort?

I asked another question  while feeling fortunate and complicated,

“May I ask how that person is intriguing?”

“…if I don’t answer, you’ll become more curious, right?”

I smiled awkwardly at the piercing remark and swung my gaze away. I heard a small sigh in, then I heard Namuel’s voice,

“…at first, I think I was curious about that person’s knowledge.  She’s very knowledgeable about animals.”

…I have a faint feeling that her knowledge of animals must have been biased.

Namuel, who was unaware of my thoughts, cast his gaze into the air as if he was staring into a distant place.

“—That’s what I thought at first, but…”

While Namuel fell into his own world, I couldn’t open my mouth recklessly.

It could be an opportunity for Namuel to become aware of his own feelings. Of course, that would be good for Aria, but it wouldn’t be very good for me.

It’s going to happen someday, but it can be slowed down, right? The more it’s delayed, the better it is, because I can have more time to prepare.

…Ha! So, isn’t it a mistake to ask like this? No, no. It’s still necessary to check how Namuel thought about Aria.

It might sound like all is well, but that’s not necessarily the case!

Thinking like that, I looked at him anxiously. At that same moment, Namuel turned his head back to me with curved eyes.

“I think break time is over. Can we go back to class?”

“…Oh, yes. It’s fine.”

“Then this time, I’ll tell you about Griffin. Griffin is usually…”

I thought to myself as I opened the book to follow Namuel, who was continuing the class:

It’s good that he’s still at that level, but… If I think about it on the contrary, since Namuel is the hardest character in the game, doesn’t him being interested mean that he has feelings for her in his own way?

Ahh, I don’t know. The human heart is so complicated… I should say that it’s fortunate that I can put Namuel under my watch, right?

It became frustrating that the best thing I could do right now was to take empress classes and keep an eye on Namuel.

…Oh right. Miel.

There was Miel, too. I forgot about it because it was so hectic, but Miel’s power was so great that it would be nice to be able to get his help.

Of course, he swore his allegiance to me… but I think that and this matter are different.

If something goes wrong, it could end with him having to risk his life. But I can’t ask him to do that. I’ll feel like a piece of trash.

As I thought of the twinkling pink eyes looking at me, a feeling of guilt crept up.

Ugh, no, no, let’s not use Miel if possible…

Galenos… he’s loyal to Karmeut, so of course he’ll take action…

The only one left was Sedarun, the hidden character.

Aria, I’m counting on you.

You can do it—!! Be strong, fighting!

…Uh, no, wait, what if Aria turned away and instructed an assassination on Karmeut instead?! What if she did that?!

It was a sudden thought, but it was quite possible.

It felt like my body was drained of blood!

Ugh, why do I have so much to think about?! Sho-, should I sneak out now and go see Sedarun? But I don’t know how to meet him!!

“—Rainelle-nim? Are you okay?”

I lifted my head at the gentle shaking of my shoulder. Then I saw Namuel with a worried look on his face.

“You don’t look well. Are you okay?”

“…Oh, no.”

“Your complexion is pale.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s just a little…”

“Then let’s finish today’s class here. We’ll cancel the next class as well.”

“It’s all right, I’m fine. I’ll just have to rest for a while.”

“I don’t know if Rainelle is fine with it, but His Majesty won’t. I think it would be best if you rest for today.”

Before I could speak again, Namuel had called the maid.

After giving her various instructions, he turned to me and said,

“If you try to do a lot of things all of a sudden, it’s easy to get sick.”

“Namuel…”

“Rainelle-nim is trying hard enough. So, why don’t you take a moment to relax? His Majesty the Emperor won’t blame you for being a little slow, you know?”

Well, that’s true… No, but I’m not doing this because of the class, am I?

I wanted to refute subtly, but it was difficult to explain.

What is this?! I feel like explaining something! But what kind of teacher will like it when they find out that a student is doing something wrong in their class?!

I know that there was a huge misunderstanding, and I sat there feeling agitated.

Still, on the other hand, I could skip today’s class, so I was a little bit excited.

This, although Namuel misunderstood, he is concerned and considerate!

…but this thought seemed to be too simple. It wasn’t before long that Karmeut came.

“Rainelle! Are you okay?!”

I couldn’t say “I’m perfectly fine, but I’m so excited to skip class!”, so I smiled vaguely.

It was because I felt even more sorry for Karmeut’s appearance, whose face was heavy with worry.

—No, how did Namuel tell him?

He looked at Namuel in suspicion, but the man had an expression that was the same as usual.

“I’m fine, Karmeut.”

At that, Karmeut frowned.

“You look pale. It’s not okay. It must have been too much.”

He said “I should have known earlier,” as he stretched out his hand and stroked my cheek.

As my heart was tickled at the sad expression on his face, I had no choice but to cover it up.

“I’ll be fine with a little rest. Don’t worry too much.”

Hearing my answer, Karmeut and Namuel sighed.

Huh? Why are you sighing?

“Surprisingly, you don’t know that you’re overdoing yourself.”

“I think you’d better take a good rest for a few days now, Rainelle-nim.”

Eh? No, why?!! I can’t keep an eye on you with a few days off!!

“No, I’m really fine—!!”

“Rainelle.”

I shut my mouth at Karmeut’s action of calling my name in a low, commanding voice.

He said as he grabbed my shoulder and made eye contact,

“It’s okay, just rest a little.”

“But…”

“No one can say anything to you. And even if someone complained, I won’t let them off.”

Karmeut’s sincerity was dripping out of his dazzling actions and words, so I swallowed my own words.

“You’re working hard enough. So take it easy and take a few days off. If you try too hard in the beginning, you’re bound to get tired.”

“His Majesty’s words are correct. Taking a few days off to find time to relax is helpful in the long run.”

“Thank you for the timely notice, Marquis Namuel.”

“I’m just doing what I have to do.”

I seemed to know what it was like to be crazy from Namuel’s calm and polite behavior.

No, it’s because of you, you!! You’ll wake up later and kill Karmeut!! That’s why I came up with this plan, but why, why?!!

It’s like I got a nosebleed while picking my nose, no, it’s more like I’m being misunderstood for having a nosebleed from studying hard! It feels strange! It’s weird! It’s awkward!

I feel like I’m going to die of a guilty conscience! Stop it, you punks!

“Well done today, Marquis Namuel. When Rainelle gets better, I’ll reschedule it.”

“Don’t worry, Your Majesty. I will gladly accept the reschedule anytime.”

It was so absurd that my mind shut down for a while, but of course, time flows.

Ah, wait! Don’t leave, Namuel!!

But he didn’t even know what I felt and the door closed.

This, I’m going crazy, ahhh!! It’s wrong that I’m not feeling well! Of course, skipping class is good, but—!!

Still, this is not it!!

But it had already happened after all.

It’s hard to believe.

While I clenched my jaw, something touched my cheek.

“Rainelle—”

I was speechless at Karmeut’s actions, kneeling on his knees and looking into my eyes.

I was the one who said I’m going to take the empress’s class, but now he was making a regretful expression as if it was his fault.

His facial expression, which looked like he was about to cry, made my heart ache. It was to the point that I couldn’t stand it.

I could worry about Namuel later, but I got caught and worried Karmeut… Hmm?

“I’m really fine. Just like Karmeut said, I’ll be fine after a little rest.”

“But…”

“I told you I’d study. Of course, I’m sure I was over-enthusiastic to study quickly and become empress-like to flatten the Duke’s nose, but…”

At those words, Karmeut clenched his teeth. —I reached out and grabbed Karmeut’s cheeks at the sight of him blatantly blaming himself.

“It’s not Karmeut’s fault. So don’t make that face. Okay?”

“Rainelle…”

“I’m sorry for making you worry. I just wanted to work hard.”

Saying “So please don’t make that face, okay?”, I touched the cheeks. Unlike his callus-studded hands, his cheeks were soft and smooth.

Karmeut was silent for a moment, then he let out a long sigh. Then, as if acting childish, he rubbed his cheeks into my palms and said:

“—I think you’ve changed since you went to the Black Bird.”

“Huh? Me?”

“Yeah, it feels like you’re always holding something by yourself… So, I’m worried.”

It was as if I had been found, and it was terrifying. But Karmeut was just looking at me with a worried look.

“—You don’t like me doing this?”

“—I don’t want you to push yourself too hard.”

Saying “It seems like you’re not very keen on that,” he grabbed the back of my hand.

“So, if it’s just a little hard, tell me it’s hard. Rainelle, don’t make my heart sink like this…”

I couldn’t find anything to say to the voice of earnest begging. But still…

You’re pushing yourself hard enough, too.

And in the future, you might die.

I don’t want to lose you. Since you have protected me so far, isn’t it my turn to protect you this time?

—So please don’t think like that, Karmeut.

“…Okay. I’ll do that from now on.”

But I couldn’t say those words. I had no choice but to nod my head while wearing a shabby smile.