Office Diaries - Chapter 106

“W-what?” she asked remembering the cold woman back at the restaurant. “What did she do?” she asked in concern and her other self’s eyes filled with tears.

“Every time Michael wasn’t looking, she would hurt me. At first, she would only abuse me verbally. But when she noticed I never told her son about it, she escalated, most especially when I stopped working. She began hurting me physically too. She would slap, curse or humiliate me whenever Michael’s at the office.”

Ria’s heart squeezed painfully at her ċhėst. She could feel the other’s emotions but it was only natural. They were one.

She held the other tight, letting her continue as she let the other her know that she was there— that she would never run away from the memories she was going to show her.

“Was she the one? Was she the one responsible for bringing me back?” she asked though she already had an idea that it was the case.

“Yes,” the other Ria answered. “She… Michael’s mother…she killed our child. She killed our baby…” she said in a broken and her eyes widened in horror as the memory finally came through her.

More than seven months ago, Ria went to the doctor for a check-up. That was when she found out she was carrying Michael’s child. As soon as she found out she was pregnant, Ria begged her mother-in-law not to hurt her anymore.

Instead of relenting however, Michael’s mother became more violent towards her, hitting her in her arms and legs— but Ria had enough. For the first time, she fought back. With all her might, she pushed her mother-in-law off her which sent her stumbling on the floor.

That moment in time, she didn’t care about the consequences. That time, she forgot that she promised herself that she’d never be the reason for mother and son to fight since she saw how close Michael was to his mother.

No, she didn’t care anymore. What she cared about was the safety of her child. She wouldn’t let anyone hurt her baby no matter who it was.

The door opened and her husband stepped into the room obviously angry. Ria paused from drying her hair and met her husband’s stare from the mirror as Michael crossed the room towards her.

“Ria, I saw mom downstairs. She’s crying. Why did you hurt her?” he began and Ria whose pregnancy made her sėnsɨtɨvė felt anger at the fact that her husband didn’t bother asking her what happened first.

She knew he was tired and arguing with him when he’s bone weary was inconsiderate of Ria since it’s a busy season at work nowadays but she didn’t really care about that right now.

All she cared about right now was herself. She’d been very understanding of everything since they got married and it was all too much. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“Don’t you think you should ask me first what she did to me before asking me why I hurt her?” she countered, and her cross tone of voice surprised her husband. She’d never been one to answer back so it was new to Michael.

“Ria, I told you before when we got married you have to be patient with her. Mom’s getting old and I’m the only one she has. She took care of me alone when dad died so the only thing I ever ask for you to do is to get along with her. If you have issues you can tell her about it and I’m sure mom wouldn’t mind— ”

“Are you telling me that I’m the one who’s got a problem?” Ria was scandalized. From the way Michael was talking, it was as if she was the one who’s at fault. She was more than angry now.

“Love, don’t be angry,” Michael cajoled but Ria wouldn’t be placated. She felt her husband had been very unfair to her. “I didn’t mean it like that. Let’s talk about this properly please,” his weary spouse pleaded with her but she refused to forgive him.

“You know what? I don’t want to talk anymore. I don’t want to listen to you tell me to get along with your mother. I don’t think that’s possible— ever,” she said with all the hurt she was feeling as she stood up and marched towards the closet.

“Ria, where are you going?” Michael asked, obviously feeling very frustrated with the turn of events.

“Somewhere away from you,” she announced as she pulled a small suitcase from under the closet and started putting clothes in it.

“Love, stop it. Stop it,” Michael snapped as he tried to pull his wife up by the shoulder but she fought and pushed him away. “I said stop it!” Michael yelled as he pulled her to her feet and unthinkingly slapped her across her face startling the two of them.

Silence hung between them as they both tried to understand what happened, and when they did finally realize what transpired, regret crossed Michael’s face as he tried to reach out for his wife, but Ria stepped back. Disillusionment was written all over her face as she placed a hand on her stinging cheek.

“Love, I’m sorry,” Micahel said desperately as he reached for her once more, but she continued to step back.

“Don’t touch me,” she said in a clipped tone of voice. “Don’t ever touch me again,” she continued as she hugged herself.

She was beyond hurt. She never thought Michael, her gentle husband would ever raise his hand on her.

“It’s over,” she whispered and she watched as Michael’s eyes widen in shock.

“What are you saying?” he demanded in horror.

“I’m saying it’s over between us,” she announced as she turned around. “I want a divorce,” she continued as she ran for the door. But she couldn’t get away in time. he was way faster than her.

As soon as she touched the doorknob, his fingers bit into the flesh of her arm as he turned her around.

“You’re not going anywhere!” his panicked husband told her as he pulled her against his length, holding her tightly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. Love, please don’t leave me. You can hurt me too.”

“Let me go! Let me go!” she cried as her husband started kissing her in between begging her to stay.

“Let me go! I don’t want this!” she screamed as she cried while he took her to their bed. “Let me go,” she sobbed, and when she looked, her husband’s face reflected her pain as he too cried.

“I’m sorry Ria. I can’t. I can’t let you go. I love you,” he wept as he took her in his arms and made love to her.

“I hurt our husband that night as much as I was hurting,” the other Ria said softly as tears filled her eyes once more. “I let him hold me as much as I desperately wanted to be held by him that night. I was never really planning on leaving him. It was partly my fault too after all for keeping mum about his mother’s cruelty.”

Ria swallowed hard. The memories which flowed within her were so vivid it was like her own recollections. her other self was merging with her and with it the lost time, the lost days, the lost moments were now being accounted for. But it was not enough. She still had to know what happened which made her return.

“What happened after that?” she asked and her other self inhaled sharply.

“After we made love, I told Michael everything. Enraged, he marched out of our room to face his mother who was waiting outside, thinking I was leaving her son. When he confronted her about what she had been doing to me, instead of explaining herself, she suddenly went after me. She screamed as she attacked, hitting, kicking and pushing me like a mad person,” she said and a memory of Michael’s shocked face as he watched her being pushed down the stairs flashed in her mind and it made her shiver.

“That’s right. She pushed me down the stairs. I lost my footing and fell,” she continued and an image of Michael screaming her name as he ran after her at the bottom of the staircase flowed through her memory.

Ria now could remember how he cried her name over and over as he held her bloodied limp body against him. She had lost their baby then.

“I was so…sad. I already loved our child and yet I lost him, and I’m ashamed of myself,” the other Ria continued. “Between the two of us, I was the one who was supposed to be the stronger. But at the time I felt like I couldn’t face the world anymore. It was too painful. I couldn’t bear it.”

Then and there, it finally dawned on Ria what happened after. Like what she did when she had the accident, her other self, not being able to cope up with the loss and the pain, hid deep inside, making her original self come to the surface and resume life as if the past fifteen months with her husband never happened.

“I think, I’m a coward too,” her other self said softly and Ria held her tighter.

“No, you’re not a coward. In fact, you’ve been very strong. You’ve been very brave shielding me all through the years. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she repeated over and over again. “From now on, I will not run away anymore. I will not let you face and bear the pain all alone,” she promised herself softly as they continued to hold on to each other. “I’m sorry…”