Office Diaries - Chapter 149

It’s been a month since JT and I got together, but I found myself getting more and more restless with each passing day. I even started calling him by his name now: Jason.

No, we were not fighting. In fact, our relationship has gotten so much better, now that we were both open in our relationship. We could do what we want together; say what we wanted, and so on. But, there was something that I strongly felt that I had to do…soon.

“Jason, darling, when can I see your manager?” I asked casually one time.

We were in our kitchen, having snacks. Since I didn’t really attend his actual job for our company, I never had a chance to encounter his manager at work before. Now that JT and I were together, I started hanging out at my lover’s ȧssignments, but Han was never there. For an actor as famous as JT, I found the lack of his manager’s presence at work very unusual.

The glass Jason lifted stopped a few centimeters from his lips as he gave me a frown.

“What do you want with him?” he asked, sounding displeased and I got more curious.

“I just have something to tell him,” I said and the scowl he was sporting on his face only deepened.

“If you have something to tell him, say it to me and I’ll pass your message,” he answered and I sighed and shook my head.

“Sorry darling, but it’s something I had to say to him in person,” I replied, and Jason put his glass on the table with a thud.

Surprised, I stared at him wide eyed, studying his displeased face, waiting for him to say anything as he studied my face back. He looked cute as he appeared undecided about something, but I couldn’t tell him that right now. He might get angrier, and I still didn’t know the reason why he’s acting like this now.

“Nixie,” he started quietly, his almond gaze still intent on my face, and I inclined my head, waiting for him to continue. “Do you… do you like him?”

“Eh?”

Jason’s voice was really soft, so I had to process first if I heard him correctly. Looking annoyed, he repeated the question, this time louder.

“Do you like him?”

“Eeeeh?” I was shocked.

He was jealous?

I was shocked. I already expected he would ask why I wanted to meet Han, but not like this. I wondered how I should explain without him getting more upset.

“I…I do – I mean I did. Past tense,” I said hastily when he looked more jealous. “It was a long time ago, back in high school,” I continued, and this time, Jason’s expression changed into confusion.

“High school?” The way he asked looked like he’s gotten more confused. “How’s that possible?” he added and I had to tell to him that I’ve met Han years ago.

“But that’s impossible,” Jason said matter-of-factly, and it’s my turn to be confused.

“Why?”

“You couldn’t have met him in high school because he never came to Korea until he was already working as my manager,” he explained, and my eyes widened in total bewilderment.

“Eh? But we were classmates and he was the class representative,” I said, and Jason stared at me as if I’d gone senile.

“What are you talking about?” Jason asked and I explained my short-lived high school love story, and he ended up looking at me really strangely before throwing his head back and laughing so hard he nearly knocked his seat over.

“What the hell,” he roared in laughter. “Nixie Choi, all this time, you think my manager was your classmate?” he asked with his tear-filled eyes, his body still shaking with mirth.

“Eh? You mean he’s not?” I asked in shock, and Jason shook his head.

I couldn’t believe it.

“But his name is Han! And – and he attended the class reunion!” He’s Korean, right?

“Of course,” Jason retorted, already controlling his laughter. “I was there so it’s natural for my manager to come there, right?”

“You mean you just went there just for the heck of it?”

I couldn’t really believe it. Just when I thought I finally had things in order, I found myself again in utter chaos.

“No, I attended because I was invited,” Jason answered with a sigh as he cradled my face with his hands. “You look so cute when you’re confused,” he added as he leaned over to give me a peck on the lips before grinning. “Nixie Choi, what’s my real name?”

Eh? “Jason…Tan?” I answered and he snorted. “That’s my name now, but what was my name before?” he asked again, and I shook my head, and his brow arched. “You mean you really had no idea?” he prompted, and I nodded like a confused kid, and he seemed to give up.

“I didn’t know my appearance changed a lot,” he began and still muddled, I pouted. “But if you must know, Manager Han is my first cousin,” he said, and my eyes widened as I froze.

“C-cousin?” I croaked, and when he gave me a sweet, sweet smile, I almost fainted. Oh my God. I remembered everything now. I’d gotten used to Fatty Racoon Han that I’ve forgotten his real name.

“Jason Han…” I whispered and his smile widened.

“That’s right.”

“But Tan is…” I started and he laughed.

“Tan is my father’s name. My parents were not married before. Ah but my cousin grew up abroad even if he’s a Han, he doesn’t really speak Korean,” he explained nonchalantly before laughing again. “Good lord, now I understand why you were so reluctant to be with me. You never really recognized me.”

“How would I know? You changed a lot! You were cuter before!”

Ha! Take this! Revenge for not telling me anything! I would tell him he looked better when he was fatter.

“You were more handsome and manlier and sėxier,” I continued teasing him until his scowl was back in place.

Stupid, stupid Jason Tan. I had been worried about nothing at all.

“I knew it,” he said. “That’s why I didn’t let you see my manager. You have a fat fetish!” he announced, and I was speechless.

“F-fat what?”

“Fat fetish. You fell in love with me when I was fat right?” he accused, and I almost rolled on the floor with laughter.

Good lord! What a bunch of misunderstandings, I thought as we had our very first lover’s tease-fight which lasted for several minutes until we found ourselves in each other’s arms.

We stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, each of us deep in each of our thoughts, until Jason finally broke the silence.

“So, what did you want to say to me,” he asked, now that he knew that he was really the one I wanted to talk to.

“I just wanted to apologize for hurting you back then,” I said honestly and he took my hand and kissed it.

“You were not at fault. It was those nasty brats we had for classmates who really hurt me,” he answered and I held him tighter.

“I was really in love with you even back then,” I confessed and Jason was quiet for a while before giving me a kiss on top of my head.

“I know. I know you truly loved me— that your feelings were real when you confessed to me,” he replied, and I frowned.

“Then why did you turn me down?”

“It was me who was not ready that time. You were so beautiful, so fragile, that I felt so insecure. I didn’t think it was possible for me to have you for myself even though I already felt that you cared for me.”

The honesty in his voice made me realize his true feelings. We were the same, thinking we didn’t deserve to hold the ones we loved because of our insecurities.

“It was painful for me to let you go and turn my back on you. Back then, I vowed that I would change myself. I wanted to be stronger for you— to be somebody for the wonderful person that was you,” he continued, and I met his gentle gaze. “I’m sorry it took me ten years to take you back. I had to build my image first, to make a name for myself before I had the courage to get you. I decided to stay in Taiwan to look for you because I heard from a classmate that you were here. I was going to look for you when your boss barged into my private room at the restaurant asking for an audience.”

“Stupid,” I told him with a fond smile.

He didn’t really have to do that as I was already in love with him. But if that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t learn the things that I had now. So, yes, we were both stupid. This time however, we were not going anywhere anymore. We’ve both found our places with each other.

“Don’t let me go again, do you hear me?”

“I won’t. Never again,” he promised, and we sealed that vow with a kiss.