Office Diaries - Chapter 78

The phone rang incessantly, jerking the man sleeping soundly on the bed awake. With lids heavy with sleep and lips pursed into an annoyed slant, the man exhaled audibly as he raked his face with his palm, while his other hand reached for the screeching phone. In his mind was a string of murderous words he’d very much want to grant that person who dared disturb his off day.

“Yes?” he drawled lazily on the receiver, ready to give the caller a scolding but failed to do so. Instead, his mind went blank at the loud screeching that welcomed his ear from the other end.

“JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

“Big Sis, you woke me up in the morning jus to squeal at my ear?” Jay asked grumpily as he scratched his tummy and yawned. “What’s your problem now?” he asked again after the woman on the other end had calmed down a little and the guy who was unceremoniously wrenched from dreamland felt generous enough to listen to her ramblings.

What had gotten to his big sis so early in the…

He glanced at the clock.

Oh.

It was already three in the afternoon. He had overslept. Maybe he’d consumed more alcohol than he thought he did the night before. He reckoned in his still cloudy mind however that his big sis had fared worse. Marian had been drunk out of her mind.

“Jay, I think I’m having allergic reactions to soju,” Marian spoke woefully on the other end making the young man frown.

“What allergic reactions are you talking about?” he inquired.

In all the time he had been drinking together with her, she never had any allergies from alcohol.

“I’m swollen all over,” she answered, and an image of his big sis with a duck-like pout made Jay snicker but then he covered his mirth with a cough.

He knew he’d get a beating if she heard him laughing at her obviously worried state. “What kind of swelling per se?”

The PA was quiet for a while and Jay could imagine her checking whatever it was which was ailing her.

“Well, I have rashes all over,” she said after a while.

“Rashes? Do they itch?” he inquired and there was a momentary silence once more from the other end before she spoke.

“Hmmmnnn…nope. Not itchy or painful,” she answered. “But they’re really red – bordering on purple. There are lots of them too all over my body. Do you have them too?”

“No,” he answered immediately, but he had gotten off his bed and tugged at his shirt in front of the mirror, checking himself as he spoke. His skin, aside from the marks from the sheet had no other kind of blotch. “No, I don’t have any rash,” he repeated, this time, his voice sounding surer.

“No?” she asked from the other end, her voice sounding a little off. “Did I eat something else last night? Something that you didn’t?” she prompted and Jay racked his still sleep-laden brain and frowned.

“Nothing I can remember. What else do you have aside from the rashes? Do you have difficulty breathing?” the secretary asked as he let out an audible yawn.

He read somewhere that allergies affected the respiratory system too when it attacked. Worse was that it may lead to shock, causing death if untreated. He tried to recall what it was called and he snapped his fingers upon remembering.

Anaphylaxis.

“Do you feel dizzy? Is your skin blue?” he asked rapidly like a drill sergeant.

“No,” she answered at once and Jay felt a little relaxed once more. “Aside from the rashes there’s nothing else – well not if you won’t count cramps.”

“You have cramps too?” Jay flinched when his senior said yes.

His stomach wasn’t one to handle intimate girl talk, and he really protested when it seemed she was going to tell him about it. “Geez Big Sis, I don’t want to hear it!”

“But what should I do?”

“Big Sis, am I a doctor? Why the heck are you asking me?” he countered grumpily and she started whining on the other end.

“But I only have two and a half more hours to prepare before the president picks me up for the gala! What should I do?”

Jay sighed in defeat. If it were him, he’d have gone to the doctor’s hours ago and never wasted precious minutes racking a non-medically knowledgeable friend about his allergies and possible period cramps.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you go to the drugstore and buy some pain medicine or something?”

“What about my rashes?” she asked and Jay rolled his eyes heavenwards.

“If it’s not really itchy and you said it’s not painful either, just get yourself some BB cream to cover it.”

“Will that work?” she asked again and he held the receiver away from his ear to glare at it for a second before he placed it back.

“Big sis g–” He was about to say ‘give me a break’ but his senior already beat him to it, placating him on the other end.

“Give you a break, I know, I know,” she said condescendingly before she sighed, and Jay’s ruffled feathers eased a little. “I’ll go get ready now then,” she continued afterwards. “Jay, can you call the boss and tell him to just meet me at the gala? I will run to the drugstore right after I dress up. I’ll just go to the venue from there.”

“Why don’t you tell him that yourself?” Jay retorted.

He was planning to spend his weekend quietly and playing secretary for Marian wasn’t part of his agenda.

“Because I don’t want to talk to him for a while,” she answered, and before he could protest, she cut him off again.

“My thing down there hurt so much too. My vajayjay’s swollen and I feel like I was mass rȧpėd so you have to help your big sis. I love you Little Baby Jay. Tell the boss that okay? See you!” she said hurriedly and he wasn’t able to do anything when she ended the call.

“What the heck…” the secretary couldn’t believe he was tanked again to do something he didn’t want to.

Feeling grumpy, he punched out his boss’ number and called him, but Liam did not pick up. Feeling grumpier, he waited for another hour before he tried again.

“Why are you doing this to me?” he wailed as he waited another hour before he called. “You’d better pick this up, boss. Else, I won’t try to call you again,” he grumbled as he punched out his superior’s number once more.

The president picked up after two rings and Jay didn’t waste time relaying the message to the president.

“Pres, Marian Sis is having allergies and cramps,” And a swollen vajayjay, but of course, he wouldn’t mention that part. “She said she’s going to the drugstore before meeting with you. She said she’ll just see you at the gala – oh, and she said she loves me,” he added cheekily before ending the call with an evil smirk.

Ha! That’s what people get for ruining his day off. He knew his action had been too cheeky for a mere secretary, but knowing how the president had been pestering him with his love life too, Jay reckoned he could afford to be sassy.

He doubted if his boss would mind his impertinence anyway – not after last night when he must have had a great time with his big sis. Having lethargy kicked out of his system completely, he could now recall that last night when they were drinking. Marian got knocked out with mixed alcohol and chocolate laced with aphrodisiac.

He could now recall how he had made his escape after seeing the completely drunk Marian grab their respective boss and smooched him like there’s no tomorrow. He was sure they did more than kissing when he left though, and he shook his head, whisking his thoughts away. He had seen enough for his brain to be flashbanged.

No more, he thought as he stood up and stretched.

He had a food-filled refrigerator waiting for him. He had no time to think about his boss and friend’s woes most especially Marian’s swollen vajayjay.

Wait a minute…

Red marks. Swollen thing down there. Aphrodisiac and alcohol combo. Smooching like there’s no tomorrow…

“Hot damn…” Jay whispered as it dawned on him.

Marian James didn’t have allergies nor did she have period cramps. Her nether region hurt because of an entirely different reason and their boss played a huge part with the ‘why’.

Contemplating informing his big sis, he glanced at the telephone, but then, stopped and frowned. It wasn’t really his problem right?

“Aish…I’ll let that idiot couple settle things by themselves,” he announced afterwards as he switched off his phone and unhooked his landline before marching towards his kitchen. The only romance he cared about was his fling with his refrigerator.