One Idiot Three Wishes Unlimited Chaos. - Chapter 58

(A/N The new update made it so I can’t reply to chapter comments for some stupid reason. If you want me to reply your going to need to do a paragraph comment instead. Not my fault it’s the apps fault. Every time I click you guys comments it just brings me to chapter 1 of the book.)

“Wait!” The old man shouts before chasing after me.

“If you become my disciple I’ll give you a high grade flying sword.” He says with a winning smile as what guy could resist flying.

“I have a fear of heights so no thanks.” I reply with a raised eyebrow.

“All the cultivation pills you could need.” he adds.

“I’m pretty sure cultivation based off of pills and external things would make my foundation extremely weak and fill my body with impurities.” I counter again.

[The system won’t let that happen as it filters out the impurities and makes it so your foundation is always perfect.] Cassie says.

Well that’s good to know.

I start to leave again only to feel the old man wrap his arms around my leg.

I start dragging him with me.

“Wait! I’ll let you have the sects hidden fist technique.” he says trying to sweeten the deal.

“If you think I’m going to be running around yelling something like heaven smiting fist or some other bullshit your wrong.” I tell the shameless old man hugging my leg as I try to kick him off.

“How did you know our technique was called that?” he asks in confusion while i try to unsuccessfully kick him off.

“Pleaseeeee I’ll give you anything you want just be my disciple. Power? Fame? Women?…..Men?” he says giving me a strange look.

“Are you asking for a fucking beating old man?!!?” I say swinging my fist at him.

“Help! Help! Elderly Abuse!” he shouts covering his face.

The disciples by the side just look away as their shameless sect master throws away all their face.

While he’s distracted covering his face I make a run for it.

A few seconds later I’m tackled to the ground by a now crying old man.

“Help! I need an adult!” I shout out.

“I am an adult.” he replies while rubbing his runny nose on my jeans.

“My pants aren’t a tissue dammit!” I shout looking at the stains on my pant leg.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you to respect your elders?!” the old man says while i try crawling away.

“Sure she did and she also told me not to accept things from strangers.” I say while clawing my way across the ground.

“She must be a lovely woman. Let me introduce myself you can call me sect master Mo. Now become my disciple.” he says.

“Yeah my mom’s pretty great. My name is Ryan and I reject.” I say holding out my hand for a shake.

He goes to grab it but I launch my surprise attack and throw dirt into his eyes, he easily blocks it.

“What a great shameless attack exactly what I would have done you’ll make a great disciple.” he says with a thumbs up.

I just sigh and give up while laying my head down on the grass.

“Fine you win old bastard. However I’m not teaching anyone shit. I’m not wearing those stupid fucking robes. I want all the good stuff and I want no trespassing signs over my cultivation area.” I lay down the rules as he writes them on a little not pad.

“Also my pay is 1000 gold a month.” I tell him.

“What! That’s robbery?!?” he shouts.

“5000 gold.” I counter.

“5000 gold it is.” he gives up at my serious look.

Before I know it I’m dragged off to the front of a nice looking villa.

“This will be your cultivation area.” He says while nailing up some hand drawn no trespassing signs he just threw together.

He tosses me a ring which I’m sure is a spatial ring as I can feel the compressed space inside of it.

“That is a spatial ring you drop some blood on it and it will bind to you and only you can open it to get the items inside. There’s some manuals, pills and cultivation stones inside there for you to use. I’ve also added a jade bed for you to cultivate on as it helps calm you down and enter into meditation easier.” he explains.

“Do you guys use jade for everything?” I ask seriously.

“Well we also have some fragrant sandalwood which is very calming if expensive. There’s some you can burn in the incense burners in the house.” he tells me.

“If you have any questions I’ll be over in the other villa.” he says pointing across the way to another nice looking villa. “You may have to meet some of the elders at some point or at least show your face around the sect as your now the disciple of the sect master.”

“That sounds like a pain in the ass.” I reply.

“Yeah it is but what can you do about it.” he says with a shrug.

I just sigh before heading into my new place ignoring the happy dance the old man is doing while he thought I wasn’t looking.

It’s a nice place a bit empty though.

I have my chain poke my finger before dripping a drop of blood on the new ring.

Inside is a few books, Some strange white rocks, some jade vials with pills in them, what looks like a slab of pure jade, Some ugly robes I’ll never wear, A sword which I assume is a flying sword I’ll probably never use. Basic stuff.

I pull out a book. “Mystical heavenly cultivation manual.” I read out before tossing it into my inventory with everything else.

I open the shop before I begin browsing. After a while I find what I’m looking for.

[Perfect Guide to Cultivation Basics.]

It’s only basics but it’s all the basics no added bullshit no missing parts no super godly powers. Just cultivation and all the ways to cultivate.