One-Punch DxD: NEO - Chapter 73: Message
Xenovia groaned as she rubbed her head. The headache was still there even though Asia had lifted the annoying curse.
“…Xenovia?” Irina, sitting beside her bed, asked with a sweet smile.
Xenovia turned towards Irina… and blushed heavily.
“Irina… Um…”
“It’s okay.” Irina smiled. “I mean, compared to what Valper and his accomplices did to me? What you did was harmless. But seriously, how are you feeling now?”
“…I feel like burying myself alive.” Xenovia looked away with a bashful face that Irina found adorable.
“Oh, you~” Irina giggled.
“…I don’t think I can face Issei. Or anyone anymore.” Xenovia moaned.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be okay. Issei and the others understand.” Irina giggled.
“Won’t they ask questions about the things I’ve said?”
“Maybe. Do you mind if I ask you some questions?” Irina asked.
Xenovia slowly nodded.
“How much do you mean in the stuff you said?”
Xenovia’s blush grew redder, “…I can barely remember… Damn Lint’s sword. I… I have been looking up things on the internet and I’m actually rather curious… but I’m not sure now…”
Irina hummed before she nodded, “Well, take your time then. Just remember this – Ise accepted me, the stupid girl whose body had been soiled and corrupted. I’m sure he won’t mind some kinky fetish or two.”
“…Really?” Xenovia looked at Irina.
“Mhm.” Irina beamed.
Xenovia felt… touched. Irina was there for her, just like when she was there for Irina.
“…Do you… want to help me explore… a little when we have the time?” Xenovia asked with a red, adorable face.
Despite her slight blush, Irina kept her smile on, “…Of course.”
Irina reached out and held Xenovia’s hand, Xenovia holding Irina’s in a firm, heartwarming grip.
“…I think… I am ready to apologize to the others… I just hope none of them will laugh at me.”
“Eh, probably Black, and maybe Akeno, Lint and even Ise himself, but… You’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.” Irina winked.
“Thanks…”
Irina helped Xenovia out of bed as they made their ways downstairs.
“Irina…” Xenovia asked, once she and her friend arrived in the room where everyone was gathering, “…Am I still tripping?”
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!
“Yay!”
Xenovia saw a child riding a ridiculous manfish thing, with muscular human arms and legs flexing before the stunned group, most of them stunned.
There was also a large humanoid creature with crab-like exoskeleton, menacingly sitting at the corner, with Rover growling next to it.
The cherry on top was the sight of a familiar-looking individual who was supposed to be dead. Xenovia did not know Masaomi Yaegaki personally, but she remembered the name Masaomi Yaegaki, an exorcist who left the church to elope with a woman devil… Who was presumably the very same pregnant woman who stood next to him. The said couple were chatting with Haruka and Saitama.
“It’s a long story, but they are real, Xenovia.” Griselda replied as she approached them.
“…Sister Griselda. May I have an explanation?” Xenovia asked.
Griselda explained the events that transpired.
From Masaomi Yaegaki and Cleria Belial apparently faking their deaths with the help of Saitama to…
“…Eh?” Xenovia couldn’t help but point at the muscular man fish. “…He made that? With his power? How? Why? Wait, how does that even work?”
“I do not know.” Griselda shrugged, which was rare for her. “I find it easier not to ask and accept it… no matter how many questions it raises, until there are answers.”
Xenovia and Irina understood Griselda’s stance on the matter.
“And I must ask you to refrain from requesting if you can receive a piece of that power. Apparently, his power is dangerous to inherit… he claims to have ‘exploded’ many innocent marine creatures.”
“…Oh.” Xenovia paled, the small part of her wondering if she could have that kind of power died instantly.
“Yes. The children are currently showing off their new Familiars to the family. Let us rejoin them, Xenovia,” Griselda smiled as she joined the group.
Xenovia and Irina glanced at each other before they followed Griselda.
“Oh, hey Xenovia… how are you feeling?” Issei asked awkwardly, prompting everyone’s attention to the victim of Freed’s mania.
“Oh, hello, girl that wants-”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, Black, or I swear I’ll grind every one of you into black paste and feed your remains to Rover.” Haruka warned.
Xenovia sighed, already seeing that coming from Black.
“…Embarrassed. I have a headache, but that will heal itself. I seemed to have missed very important events.”
“Yeah. The kids are showing off ‘Mr. Carp’ and ‘Mr. Crab.’ Still can’t believe that they’re from dad’s power…. How does your power work again?” Issei asked Saitama.
Saitama could only shrug, “…Don’t know. Reminds me of the things I used to kill daily back home, though.”
“My conjecture is that the nature of Saitama’s power is not something the body can contain without consequence, and appearance is secondary compared to function,” Genos surmised.
“Interesting analysis, Genos.”
Everyone turned to the voice, seeing Azazel walking towards them.
“I just came back from my studies to investigate the noise, but here I am, missing something interestingly bizarre.”
Accompanying Azazel was Rossweisse.
“Oh, hey Rossweisse. What are you doing here?” Saitama pointed at her.
Rossweisse cleared her throat as she stepped forward and presented herself.
“Hello again, Saitama. Lord Odin sent me to aid you in your battle against the Khaos Brigade. We just finished comparing our notes on the matter of the Trihexa and are devising an artificial counter to the creature.” Rossweisse bowed before the group with grace.
“Það er heiður að kynnast skjaldmeyju Asgard.”*
Everyone turned to Issei who stepped forward and spoke in fluent Norse. Saitama, on the other hand, could only guess what his son was saying.
Rossweisse on the other hand, looked amused and impressed, “Æ, keisari rauða drekans, ekki satt? Ég bjóst ekki við að þú myndir tala móðurmál mitt, satt að segja.”**
“Mér hefur verið hamrað í norrænu námskeiði síðan ég var lítill, svo ég gæti alveg eins notað það….. Hvernig hljóma ég?”*** Issei asked.
“Hm, þú talar vel fyrir byrjendur, en aðeins of formlegt ef ég á að segja eins og er. Það er ekki eins og ég sé yfirmaður þinn eða eitthvað.”**** Rossweisse commented, “…Also, we are in your homeland, I believe it’s more appropriate to speak your native tongue instead of mine. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Red Dragon Emperor – I am Rossweisse of Asgard. I am here to help the Alliance in researching Trihexa.”
“Issei Hyoudou, pleasure’s mine.” Issei returned as he and Rossweisse exchanged handshakes.
“I hope you don’t mind one more in your mansion. And… I would like to be updated. What is this about… these creatures being born from Saitama’s power?” Rossweisse asked, looking at the two heavily mutated marine creatures.
“Practicing a trick someone I know likes to use. Still trying to get the hang of it, though. Anyways, come join us. Let’s introduce you to the kids.” Saitama beckoned.
Introductions were exchanged, and while Rossweisse was talking with the girls, Saitama stood next to Issei.
“First time meeting a girl and you immediately tried to impress her by speaking her language?” Saitama remarked with a small, teasing smile.
“It’s to help her feel at home. Also, gotta say, I didn’t think someone like her would come over.” Issei watched Rossweisse talk with Cleria as she introduced the little ones, and the little ones introduced their big buddies.
“Uh-huh…” Saitama nodded along, before he lightly tapped Issei’s back, “Welp, have fun talking with her. Good luck.”
“…Thanks?” Issei was not really sure why his father would wish him luck.
In the Underworld, the Traditionalist Faction and remnants of the surviving Old Satan Faction that did not actively participate in the terrorism were in Mordax Bael’s mansion, within the meeting chamber.
All of the most influential members sat around a rectangular table of the finest carved wood, surface glossed and waxed, Mordax staring at the ‘guest’ at the other end swirling the wine within the wine glass.
“I must confess,” the man in a Hawaiian shirt sipped the alcohol, “Your finest confectionery and drinks are superb as always. Their quality has no competition in flavor and your chefs are… divine. But they are all lacking to me.”
Indra spoke as he hummed to himself, turning to Mordax at the opposite end of the table.
“Do you know why?”
Mordax remained silent, a tense silence haunting the air.
“Oh, don’t be so uneasy. The answer… is that I want something new. It is easy to get tired of the same taste every day, don’t you think? How do you people stand it? Living with the same flavors every day despite your resources?”
“I am afraid that I must ask that we hurry this along, Lord Indra.” Mordax requested Indra politely.
The tan man with a green-brown buzzcut and monk beads around his neck chuckled.
“Oh, since we’re doing this… Cleria Belial is alive and well. Her death… is greatly exaggerated.”
Mordax stared at Indra in a pause.
The others turned to Indra, giving him their full attention.
“…Excuse me?” Mordax asked.
“Ahahaha. Oh, your faces, you didn’t expect this, did you? Cleria Belial, the sole witness to the corruption of your Rating Games, your… dishonorable abuse with illegal property, is still alive and well. I am willing to part with this information… for a price.” Indra offered while swirling the wine glass.
The other devils began to whisper and bicker among themselves over the news of Cleria’s survival. The silent gesture of Mordax was enough for everyone to calm down somewhat.
“…Are you telling us the truth?” Mordax asked with a strained, calm tone.
“Do not take the word of a god lightly. We’re not like you devils.” Indra warned as his aura flared slightly, his divine presence striking their hearts like lightning, every devil struck with terror as they shook in their seats, even Mordax.
They knew that if Indra wanted to, he could have killed them all without consequences.
“…What do you want?” Mordax capitulated.
“Oh, I don’t know… you don’t exactly have much. So… Give me all of the Agreas crystals you’ve been stashing away. And half.” Indra answered.
“Half?” Mordax asked.
“Half of everything you own. The half of every member of your collaborative faction. Their wealth. Your wealth,” Indra answered.
“…What?” Mordax hissed with disbelief.
“You can’t just… For one measly speck of information, we can find out her location ourselves!” Another noble shouted as they all clamored with outrage.
“I don’t know. You will all die if you try. After all, you’re all weak.” Indra warned as his eyes crackled with lightning, forcing them into silence. “If you don’t want to take my offer and destroy everything you fought for, please, go ahead.”
Every noble devil in the room whispered amongst each other. Mordax clenched the table with spite as he inhaled, his clan fortune, all of it. There would be questions, one he could not easily deflect.
“…Why do you think we would wound ourselves for this deal?”
“Because their lives were saved by the Strongest Man.” Indra answered.
His response silenced the bickering.
“If you want to get rid of Cleria, you will have to risk being the target of the Strongest Man’s ire. No one can defeat him… As far as I know. And if he finds out about you all…” He smiled, every Devil knowing a threat when they heard it.
Mordax’s fingers broke the edge of the table.
“…Very well.” Mordax capitulated with quiet seething.
“Good. I expect payment by the end of the day… Or else.” Indra warned.
The nobles were not sure if they should object to the forceful negotiations, but… they had no choice.
“She is in Kuoh. She made a large family of her own, quite a happy one. All of them are half devils, and they’re still young.”
The devils whispered again.
“Kuoh?”
“That is where the strongest man lives.”
“But how can we infiltrate that place? The security there is strong, and there is a report of a recent attack… They’ll bolster their security even more.”
Mordax grimaced as he pondered his course of action.
“I will be in touch. Be sure to prepare my payment by the end of the deadline. And don’t even think of cheating me. I will know.” Indra warned as he gulped down all of the wine and got up, walking out of the room to leave the Nobles to themselves.
“What should we do?” A noble asked.
“Should we hire assassins?”
“But this is the strongest man we are dealing with, if we do something wrong…”
“Gentlemen!”
Mordax’s voice gained the attention of his peers back to him.
“Calm yourselves. Remember that our wits have allowed us to survive both the Great War and Civil War. The matter with this… Strongest Man – we have prevailed over those who are supposedly beyond our league.”
Mordax paused for a moment to let his words sink into everyone.
“…This is a test, gentlemen. A test that is also an opportunity for us to seize the future we deserve. We shall not allow our society to descend into chaos under the illusion of freedom and new order. We are the order, in the past, present and future.”
Mordax refused to let someone more powerful than them threaten their very existence. The strong existed everywhere, yet they still survived to this day. He refused to let the world they knew be the end just like that.
XoX
However, none of them were aware of the blue imp munching on their confectionaries and stealing a couple of wine bottles even if he was in front of their faces.
The blue imp with four eyes hopped down the table, two bottles under his shoulder and biscuit in hand as he escaped the room.
Indra lounged on a sofa, smiling when he saw Farfarello running up to him.
“Did you know…” Indra spoke to the demonic imp as Farfarello hopped next to Indra. “That they didn’t know that I stole the lines of a good movie in America? The villain of that story is superb, I admit. Imagine the laughter I’m holding in my gut, presenting their downfall on the platter and they treat it as a road to salvation. They’re so introverted that it is comical at this point.”
“Hihihihihi…” Farfarello snickered as he crunched the biscuit and then glugged the finest high class wine. “Mmmmm, I love entertaining my taste buds. Why bother accelerating the self destruction of senile old men?”
“Oh, they are inconsequential. I don’t have to do it… but I want to.” Indra smiled as Farfarello glugged the second wine bottle.
“Is it wrong for a God to delve into entertainment? Recording the downfall of a parasitic society is, well, too interesting to ignore.”
“Ohhhh, devilish~” Farfarello giggled as he tossed the bottle, the leftover wine staining the flawless carpet. “And if a certain imp decides to… insert some ideas into the collaborators of our imprisonment?”
“Why, make it entertaining. Like making them think that throwing away their money will solve all of their problems. To the level of risking themselves as paupers in the end,” Indra chuckled.
“Kehihihihihihihi… Done.”
“Please take care of me.”
Rossweisse humbly bowed before her opponents – Momo Hanakai and Reya Kusaka, who returned the courtesy.
“We will be in your care too!”
The next day, everyone – Vali team included, decided to watch Rossweisse fight for the first time.
Issei had never seen a valkyrie in combat before, but he was interested as he bit into his candy bar, sitting cross-legged.
Issei was also floating, hovering inches above the ground, practicing flight magic in case he had to fly without Boosted Gear and to practice his trajectory control. It was because of his experience with the Chimera Fly Ghost that made him realize that his control over his speed was near nonexistent.
That, and he also wanted to look cool for the morning, floating like those wise monks that achieved enlightenment.
Rossweisse summoned her valkyrie spear and short shield while Reya called upon her Scouting Persona, a swarm of smiling masks flying around her while Momo clashed her bracers against each other.
Issei quirked a brow.
“When did Momo get those things?” Issei called out to Sona, pointing at the bracers.
“Around the same time Azazel gave out his Artificial Sacred Gears to others. Momo’s Artificial Sacred Gear is called ‘Applause Wall’.”
“Really? Applause Wall? The name sounds like lazy writing to me.” Issei commented.
“So is ‘Boosted Gear.'” Sona countered.
“Didn’t come up with the name, so it doesn’t count. How Azazel came up with these names is beyond me.”
Sona simply sighed and shrugged as the match began.
“Momo!” Reya shouted as Momo stood as the vanguard, the flying masks surrounding her as Momo started casting lightning magic, shooting them at Rossweisse.
The Valkyrie effortlessly defended against all of the arcane onslaughts with her own defensive spells, magical circles blocking the lightning in front of her.
While bombarding the Valkyrie with all spells she could muster, Momo addressed her partner, “Reya, how are things?”
Reya’s Artificial Sacred Gear – Scouting Persona, The Masquerade of Monsters, flew around while acquiring the information regarding Rossweisse, who paid the flying masks no mind.
“Well, for starters…. We are outclassed.” Reya replied with a wry smirk at the reading on Rossweisse’s reserve, physical stats, etc.
“Tell me something I don’t know, Reya.” Momo retorted with a quick eye-roll.
Rossweisse then moved in, running towards the two with her spear and shield, prompting Momo to panic a little as she fired more lightning bolts at her.
Rossweisse conjured four magical circles and fired one of each element, earth, water, fire, and lightning at them.
The masks intercepted the projectiles, breaking apart upon contact. Momo herself had used her Applause Walls to conjure a barrier, albeit invisible between her and Rossweisse.
Rossweisse thrusted her spear into the barrier, but the spear bounced off, the barrier repelling the Valkyrie to everyone’s surprise.
“Whoa…” Issei did not expect that since he never saw the girls of Sona fight.
Reya was disappointing against Sutoku as well.
“Aha!” Momo called out with a cocky smirk.
Rossweisse then took flight with a smirk of her own while summoning even more magic circles, a wall of them that almost reached the ceiling.
“Oh.” Momo’s cocky smirk fell, before she immediately dismissed her first barrier and conjured a wider one to defend herself. “Reya, stay close to me!”
Spells rained on them, a blooming field of explosions of all of the elements, lightning, fire, wind, water, covering the field in a kaleidoscope of ever changing colors of brilliant radiance.
“She has the potential of an archmage like Lavinia. Maybe more.” Issei commented with curiosity. He switched to thermal vision, although the fire and lightning spells were also blocking his sight. He switched to Meta Vision. He saw Rossweisse entering the smoke left behind and sneaked around Momo’s barrier and slammed her with her spear, knocking her aside.
“Momo!” Reya shouted as Rossweisse turned to her, closing the distance thrusted her spear at Reya’s throat. The speartip was close to Reya’s jugular, the Valkyrie smiling at Reya and then pulled back her spear.
“You two have much to learn. Your skills are meant for support and reconnaissance. If you wish to stand your ground, hone your physical prowess for combat.” Rossweisse lectured.
Smiling, Issei started clapping his hands.
Following this, Rias and the rest also clapped their hands, applauding Rossweisse’s skills.
“Gotta say, you’re alright. The only other battlemage I know is Vali… well, he’s on a way of being a proper battlemage.” Issei commented as everyone regrouped.
“I am a proper battlemage,” Vali interjected. “And you are too, technically… in a sense. You’re becoming one.”
“Maybe. Though for someone that’s been around dad, I expected your level to be… higher, no offense,” Issei admitted as he ‘floated’ over to Rossweisse.
“None taken. I have been training hard in the Halls of Asgard after my encounter with Saitama. And I see you’re practicing flight magic… No, is that gravity magic?” She asked.
“Based on my bouts with Kokabiel,” Issei admitted as he levitated up and down a bit. “Can only use it on myself for now. Nothing too drastic. Anyways, welcome to the team. You’ll fit in well among us.”
“Thank you.” Rossweisse smiled. “Is there anyone else who wants to spar with me?”
Rias raised her hand. Everyone turned to the Gremory heiress with a quirked brow.
“…What?” Rias asked at the attention.
“…Well… We didn’t expect you to step up,” Koneko admitted.
“What do you mean? I have the right to test myself,” Rias said.
“We can only see you falling on your butt if she gets close and personal,” Tsubasa said.
“…And she’s strong with magic as well,” Akeno added.
Everyone nodded along, prompting Rias to pout.
“That’s the point! It is training, after all! Don’t talk like I’m a hopeless fighter!” Rias puffed her cheeks.
“Good luck.” Issei and the others backed away from Rias and Rossweisse as the two girls faced each other.
Rias was miffed that they deflected her accusation as she faced Rossweisse.
“Are you ready?” Rossweisse asked as she entered her stance, ready to thrust her spear with her shield at the forefront.
Rias spread her Devil wings as she ascended, holding two spheres of destruction in each hand.
Rossweisse smirked as the two began their bout.
Issei then sniffed the air, catching the scent of crab… and salmon?
He looked at the entrance, seeing two of Cleria’s little ones poking their heads out of the doorframe of the training room. The big juggernaut crab and man fish friends were there mimicking their actions.
Issei then glanced at the match, then at everyone else who was focusing on the spectacle, before he decided to silently excuse himself and approach the onlookers, levitating towards them.
The onlookers were startled, both quickly moved to hide behind the enormous legs of their protectors made by Saitama.
Carp!
‘Mr. Carp’ and ‘Mr. Crab’ simply shifted defensively, yet not necessarily hostile.
Once he was close, Issei glanced at the hulking creatures, the crab growling/gurgling at him. Stoically, before he knelt down, his gaze at the older child’s eye level.
“Hey, little buddies. Um…. Mejiho and Sai, right?” Issei greeted with a friendly smile, earning a small nod from the children, “Do you need something?”
“Um…” Mejiho nervously tried to find words to answer the older boy, but he ended up merely glancing between Issei, his brother Sai, and the spectacle behind him.
Issei stared for a second, before he noticed what truly caught the child’s attention, before he smiled, “…Wanna have a closer look?”
Like a charm – the question caused children’s expression to brighten up with excitement.
“Can we…?” Mejiho asked with a hopeful look, which was also shared with his brother.
Sai poked out of Mr. Carp’s leg with curiosity.
“Yeah. We won’t mind.” Issei smiled wider as he offered his hand, which the child slowly took.
He looked at Sai, smiling at him as he meekly walked out of his man-fish friend’s leg, allowing Issei to lead both children to the stage, the hulking sea creatures following him with loud, heavy steps.
Everyone – including Rias and Rossweisse, paused their bout mid-air to look at Issei accompanying the children and their monster friends.
“We have guests, guys. They’re a little shy, so let’s make them feel welcomed, yeah?” Issei said.
Rias was about to reply when Rossweisse suddenly tackled her – using the momentum to bring her crashing down. Soon everyone saw the Valkyrie pinning the devil down on the floor.
“Never look away from your enemy.” Rossweisse remarked with a small smile.
“That’s cheap! I call foul!” Rias shouted as she squirmed despite the tip of the spear at her back.
“The match goes to Rossweisse!” Issei added salt to Rias’ wounds for fun, earning a pout from the heiress.
“…Can Mr. Carp join in?” Sai asked with curiosity.
Everyone turned to the youngest and then looked at the comical muscular fish with human arms and legs.
CARRRRRRRRP!
Mr. Carp flexed his bulging muscles.
“…I’m down.” Vali raised his hands. “This will be my first time fighting something else that is born from the Baldy.”
“You sure? They look tough.” Issei pointed out as Mr. Carp flexed harder.
“They’re once normal marine creatures, correct? I will not lose to food.”
CARP?!
Mr. Carp looked offended and glared at Vali.
Everyone made space, backing away from Vali and Mr. Carp as Sai cheered from the sidelines.
“Beat him up Mr. Carp! Show him why you’re so cool!” The child cheered from the sidelines.
Vali snorted as Mr. Carp flexed in various poses as if showing off. It was very silly yet endearing in a way.
“Alright, fishman. Let’s see what you got.”
[Vanishing Dragon Balance Breaker!]
Vali donned his dragon knight scale mail as he entered the basic martial stance.
“Gooooooooooo!” Sai adorably cheered.
CARRRRRRRRRRRRP!
Like a gorilla, Carp banged his chest before he charged towards Vali like a rhino.
He moved very fast-forwarded, much faster than the silly thing looked, already reaching Vali.
Momentum swung, Carp punched, Vali barely managing to veer the thing’s oversized fist to the side as it slammed the ground.
The impact shook the room, the magical wards reinforcing the interior trembling, visually vibrating, the room shaking in blurs.
Everyone was taken aback as the Fishman creature pushed Vali on the defensive.
“Holy shit!” Tsubasa exclaimed at the display of strength, while Issei whistled.
“…And this thing was a fish. Imagine someone stronger having that power,” Issei mused, wondering what would happen if a dragon or a normal devil got this power.
The Black Sperms, Big Bads and Rover were more troublesome compared to this.
Primal fists raged in a furious barrage, forcing Vali back further and further, refusing to allow him the time for spells. Vali’s back hit the wall to his shock when the next fist came.
With honed reflex, he ducked under it as it destroyed the magically reinforced wall, shaking the room and mansion, breaking it as Vali flew around the creature and hovered above.
One clean hit would do him in, Vali understood that.
“…Now might be a good time to test ‘that’ out.” Vali thought his opponent could serve as a good test subject.
He had not been wasting time in his rival’s home practicing martial techniques.
It annoyed his rival that he developed a technique with the combination of spells and magic as a substitute for Ki since he could not access his Ki as he is now.
But it annoyed Vali how his rival could make his invention useless with his superior martial skill in close combat.
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRP!
Carp left a trail of dust, then jumped from below, now in the air over Vali, staring at him menacingly with his giant fish eyes and his fist raised.
Carp!
He swung his fist down as Vali raised one palm and intercepted the hammer fist.
Vali grit his teeth as he felt the attack travel through his body since he was using himself as the conductor, his Aura flaring and channeled into his other palm and he thrusted it into the man-fish’s chest.
BAM!
CAR-GK!?
The Fishman lurched forward as it let out a surprised croak as Vali launched Carp into the far wall at the other side.
Vali exhaled, flicking the numbness out of his hand.
“Hah! He actually did it!” Issei exclaimed.
The technique used both Divide and the Water Stream, halving the power of the attack and countering with the stolen power back at the attacker.
It was not without flaws however, imperfectly, inflexible. Only good for single powerful blows, not rapid attacks.
“No! Mr. Carp!” Sai shouted as Carp bounced off the wall, but landed on his feet, shaking his fish head with confusion.
“I won’t be your punching bag forever!” Vali shouted at Issei. “Also, how much power did the Baldy pump into this thing?! Isn’t it too unfair?!”
CARRRRRRRRRRRRRRP!
Carp roared at Vali as he banged his chest like a gorilla.
At this point, Vali felt like he must go into juggernaut drive to defeat it, but he knew that it would never allow him the time to finish the chant.
“Think unfairness is his strong point at this point.” Issei commented, earning nods from Rossweisse as Carp jumped again, engaging Vali in the air.
[Divide!]
Vali decided to resort to his signature move before the thing could touch him.
Thankfully, the thing could not resist his favorite move, but his storage space was already near bursting from the power he took.
Carp croaked with surprise to feel the sudden weakness, but then it roared with fighting spirit.
CAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRP!
Vali widened when Carp’s power level returned to full capacity. No, it felt like it was rising!
“Goooo!” Sai shouted again as Carp’s rear extended.
Vali blinked when the abomination grew a large fish tail, as long and tall as its height.
The tail started fanning left and right, then it flexed a large gust of wind as the man fish flew.
“…It can fly?” Koneko’s eyes were wide white dots.
“That counts as flying?” Saji pointed at its tail, it looked ridiculous.
“Mr. Carp, you are flying!” Sai was more excited that his friend could fly.
Everyone, except Sai and Mejiho, could only react with absurdity when seeing how the manfish thing ‘flew’ through the air, chasing after Vali with the determination of beating him up into a bloody pulp.
In Issei’s gawking opinion, the manfish looked like he was swimming through the air, propelled by the sheer muscle flex of his tail fin as he chased after Vali menacingly.
Vali half-grimaced and half-grinned at the sight, as he decided to charge in retaliation.
[Divide!]
Regardless, Vali refused to back down. Even another divide did not even slow the Fishman’s advance towards him. The White Dragon Emperor then expended all of his energy into one attack before it was refilled.
However, just when they were within each other’s arm’s length, before they could have clashed, the door of the room was suddenly opened – and much to Vali’s shock, the fishman’s eyes widened for a brief second before it immediately dropped back to the floor, allowing his own fist to fly through empty air.
At the strange spectacle, everyone blinked and turned to see an unamused Saitama, whose white T-shirt sported a large splotch of brown stain. They could see his coffee mug… empty of coffee.
His eyes were glaring at the stage, where Vali just landed back and the Fishman creature was kneeling in seiza.
“…Kids.” Saitama looked annoyed as his irritated gaze glared over the room. “I know you need your exercise. But who told you to make earthquakes and shake the whole house? Hmm? Who is making all that racket?” Saitama asked as his irritated gaze swept to the spectators.
Everyone looked around awkwardly, before they turned to the stage, where Vali was also standing awkwardly next to the kneeling creature.
Saitama then made his way to the stage, which Vali wisely stepped down from. He then addressed the others, “Wrap it up! Issei, Vali, you two come with me. Something happened.”
Saitama then glared at the fishman beneath, “…One more time, and I’ll make sushi out of you.”
Carp…
Mr. Carp weakly meeped.
“Please don’t bully Mr. Carp, uncle!” Sai and his brother ran between Saitama and their friend, spreading his arms defensively.
Saitama simply stared at the boy before he sighed and ruffled the boy’s hair in the process, before simply walking away.
Sai was looking quizzically at Saitama until Issei approached and knelt by him, “Don’t worry, he won’t hurt your friend. He’s just like that when he’s cranky.”
Sai turned to Saitama, seeing him walking out the door.
“…Mr. Carp will be fine?” Sai asked.
“Mhm. Though don’t let break too many things and get carried away. Dad doesn’t like it when his house is destroyed.” Issei rose to his feet, “Alright, Vali. Let’s see what dad wants us for.”
Vali sent one last glance at the repentant-looking fishman before he scoffed and went after his rival.
The two childhood rival/friends followed the casual baldy with coffee staining his shirt out of the basement and into the living room.
“Yo.” Azazel and Gold, Silver, Platinum, and Genos were there to their surprise.
Ophis was there as well, holding Rover. Issei had not seen Ophis for a while so this was new, honestly.
“Something bizarre is happening to the Underworld. Take a look.”
Genos’ cybernetic eyes flashed as he opened the TV. Issei and Vali stared at the screen, seeing…
“Whoa…”
Across the streets of the lilith, at the town square, monsters staked the pavement, interrupting traffic.
Literally.
They were planted on vertical stakes, impaled through the rectum, blood still dripping fresh from their bodies, some twitching erratically. Issei and the others did not know if they were watching some kind of horror movie or what.
The newswoman devil was reporting at the scene.
[Unknown monsters are impaled and planted across the streets of Lilith, staved to the ground, painting a hellish scene in the Underworld! With cruel irony! Some of these monsters look like they’re still alive and… wait, I recognized one of them! That one is an S-Class Stray Devil, Incelaga Tipo!]
She pointed at the strange eel-like mutant creature with teeth lining under its eel-like neck, a long mouth drawn across the serpentine underbelly.
[Who would dare do something like this?! Placing our most wanted in the streets like this when-wait, something is happening!]
On the screen, the blood started to shift. The red liquid puddles rose from the impaled devils and swirled and converged into a volute mix until it dispersed into shapes, scribbles.
Words.
The reporter was left speechless, not a single word able to leave her throat.
Issei squinted at the words that formed from the letters written in Dimori Sheol – native language of the devils.
“This is… a message to the current rulers of the Underworld. I have reclaimed my throne as the Ruler of All Vampires and I have returned the vermin you’ve set loose into Gaia.” Issei read the words on the screen.
Only one race would extensively call Earth Gaia, but this seemed out of character, and the one writing the message claimed to be a vampire, or at least the ruler of the species.
“I will enter the Underworld Capital by the end of three days to renegotiate the terms of the Peace treaty you wrote with the now dethroned rulers of the Tepes and Carmilla faction. I represent Wallachia as Vlad Tepes III, the King of the Vampires. Know that I am not to be taken lightly.”
Then the blood letters fell back into the puddle.
[…We… we’ll be right back after these messages.]
The reporter said, stunned before the commercial appeared.
“…Vlad Tepes?” Issei asked as he looked at Vali, Vali looking just as bewildered.
“This is bold, very bold. I’m not sure if this is the work of the leeches, however.” Platinum gave his thoughts.
“This is huge.” Azazel responded. “I don’t even know how they manage to stake those stray devils out in the open without anyone noticing. The Satans and the Nobles will be in an uproar after what happened with Garou.”
“Shouldn’t we tell Rias and the others?” Issei asked.
“Well, this is a matter for adults, but it is their home. Honestly, Vlad Tepes… Ise, I’m surprised you can read that in the language of the Devils.” Azazel praised.
“Thanks. Curse of Babylon free, remember? Also… is he really alive? Him? The Dracula?”
The first vampire that made it into legend, one of the most popular of them all.
“GOD did liberate the denizens of Purgatory… there might be more we failed to take account of,” Genos pointed out.
Issei wondered who else was free from the confines of Hell. He wished that there was someone keeping a tally on the dead that was sent there.
“…What do we do now?” Vali asked.
Azazel shrugged, “I say we’ll meet this Dracula and see what he has to say to us. I’m sure Sirzechs and Serafall are of the same mind as me. Though… maybe Rias and Sona needed to be notified about this, after all. Anyway, since we don’t know just what kind of power Dracula holds, I think Saitama, Genos and you three should come along.” Azazel glanced at the Big Bads.
“The baldy is more than enough as a deterrent.” Platinum stated.
“Us three is better off elsewhere.”
“Actually, I have something to give to the children. May I take them to my mansion?”
Silver, Gold and Platinum commented in tandem.
Genos, Saitama, Azazel, Issei and Vali turned to Silver.
“…What? You have a mansion?” Issei asked.
“You never asked if I have a domicile. I am wealthy, after all. Do you want a tour?” Silver grinned at Issei with mischief.
“…I would.” Ophis called out, reminding everyone of her presence.
Everyone stared at the little girl holding the dog as her plushie.
“…Alright, I’m game if she’s coming.” Issei wondered how it would go.
“If there is a country that represents a ‘toxic addiction to violent abuse of a noble concept,’ this America is the best candidate.”
Within the spacious dimly lit room, Psykos stood before a large holographic multi-screen, commenting as she stared at each screen, seeing rallies of inhuman creatures across the United States of America.
Half of these rallies were more like wars, humans empowered by GOD and wreaking havoc across the states.
Angels, Exorcists, and Fallen Angels were fighting them in the screen, even the Seraph Gabriel wielding a bident firing rays of light, incinerating the corrupted leader, one of the most vocalizing of the Proud Boys or whatever, protecting the idea of dominance through skin color.
Skin color.
She heard of national extremism but seriously, skin color was the most insignificant basis to dictate superiority of a species.
“We can all be addicted to something, my dear,” Rizevim informed while typing at the computer terminal at the other corner of the room. There was a large tank filled with fluids nearby – a monster cell, a more crimson variant of it bubbling inside. “And sometimes peace can ruin even the most noble of concepts, as I’ve come to learn.”
“…I must ask. Why didn’t you or the pitiful devils use the populace and turn them against the ruling factions in the first place? It is extremely efficient, forcing the angels and devils to spread out like this.”
GOD had played his cards well.
His influence was starting to spread like wildfire, using America mostly as a testing ground if what she saw was the case. GOD targeted various priests and archbishops, pastors, and then extremist organizations into doing his bidding.
“Well, one – we are devils, and two, our influence can only go so far. GOD is doing very well, though, playing these mortal fools into throwing their souls away for him, acting as the God and savior of their dreams. They should know the Devil of the Bible can pose as the messiah if he or she wishes.”
Psykos’ eyes looked at the other screens, seeing similar uprising chaos in Europe and Africa.
The resurgence of the Nazis granted power no different than that of a Dragon, the leader of the ‘New Hitler’ engaging a muscular exorcist known as Vasco Strada in combat, and ironically losing.
Then there was one from Greek, supernatural forces of Mt. Olympus fighting against monsters and superpowered humans.
Egypt, there were the undead warriors of the Egyptian Pantheon fighting against humans that can fire divine energies at them, no different than the Homeless Emperor.
Pakistan, Iran, Afghanistan, the terrorists of ISIS, empowered by GOD, warred in the desert against the gun-wielding humans fighting alongside even more angels of God, lead by Uriel.
“How is the new Trihexa cell’s progress?” Psykos asked
“You mean, Djall Cell.” Rizevim corrected.
“Yes, our ‘son’ as you like to say.” She smiled in amusement.
“Well, it is still in progress. The mutations are more… erratic. It simply doesn’t end with a transformation and power boost, the mutations will continue depending on environmental circumstances. I am still trying to resolve the fact that it will give the recipient cancer if they receive too much damage.”
Even after Rizevim resetted the Spawn of Trihexa with extreme measures, rendering the creature docile, he is still fighting against him with his very biology, like Djall aimed to use his arrogance to infect him with cancer.
It kind of made him proud, to see their child defying them to his last breath. Makes him want to really try at being a good parent, ironically.
“Shame. I would like our child’s limitless evolutionary potential.”
“I doubt he would like us after what we’ve put him through.”
“I know. How is Djall doing now?”
Rizevim continued typing.
He is a remarkable boy, devouring my books on the study of magic and the Trihexa. He wants to eat Grendel and Nidhogg though, funnily enough. I am thinking… of taking him outside for a walk. I heard from Euclid that the Noble devils are calling to us for help with something insignificant. Perhaps I can take him to the Underworld to play in it.”
“I am tired of old men trying to salvage their rule in the present anyways. Besides, do we have a plan? Do we have anything to deal with GOD if he decides to turn on us?” Psykos asked.
“Well, I have received contact from a unique individual with a proposal on how to handle said GOD… it is a daring plan, though. Risky as well.”
“We are familiar with risk, Rizevim.” Psykos reminded.
“Yes, but this is a special kind of risk. We’re not even sure if it would work, but I obliged. They gave me something very interesting to work with, though. Something that surpasses even the Trihexa in age.”
“What would and could surpass an ancient superorganism like the Trihexa?” Psykos asked, quirking a brow.
“Oh, it is a surprise. Let’s just say it involves roots and branches as old as time itself.” Rizevim grinned as he hit the enter key, before he stretched on his seat. “Uggh… Finally done for the day… Or is it night? Hey, Psykos – what time is it now?”
Psykos blinked and looked at her watch, “…Just around dawn, I believe. You’ve been sitting and working for quite a long time.” She found herself stretching as well.
“Augh, now that I think about it, I can’t really recall what I had for dinner…” Rizevim stood up and approached Psykos, who was still standing in front of the holographic screen.
“Eh, we’ll think about breakfast once we get some good rest.”
Psykos blinked and glanced behind at Rizevim, who had sneaked his arms around her waist and shoulders, pulling her against his front. She merely scowled slightly before sighing, not resisting despite the devil’s hands beginning to feel her up and the devil himself began to inhale against the visible skin of her neck.
Psykos bit back a moan, instead letting out a shuddered exhalation when Rizevim’s hand began to play with her breast, finally pleasuring her, “…This is your idea of good rest?”
Rizevim merely chuckled, as his hands began to undress the woman in his arms. “…We both know you love this after a long day of work and boredom.”
Psykos scowled again at Rizevim’s cheeky tone. She then felt one of his hands began to roam around her nether region.
However, Rizevim suddenly froze – unable to move, as an invisible force wrapped around his arms and forced them to unwrap Psykos’ frame.
“Oh, come on~! Really?!” Rizevim frowned as the woman latched herself free and walked away.
“Go fetch yourself some female servants if you want to fuck so bad, Rizeivm. I want a shower and some sleep.” Psykos retorted off-handedly, tidying her appearance while maintaining her telekinetic hold over the poor devil until she was gone by the door.
“Alright, let’s review what we’ve learned so far.”
The next day – Saturday, Issei and the rest of the gang were on their way towards the train station; or to be precise, to the special hidden Underworld station. The gang consisted of Saitama, Genos, Azazel, Occult Research Club, the Student Council, as well as Griselda.
Kiyome and Rover were there, mostly since Issei had to register his ‘Peerage’ to the Underworld as well.
Ophis was with Haruka back home acting as her bodyguard, and Haruka as Ophis’ babysitter. Cleria and her family were still staying at the mansion until they could get a house of their own with some assistance from Diehauser, especially security.
Since Asgard intended to enter the alliance with the Triumvirate, Rossweisse volunteered to stay behind, so she could continue her research all while helping to protect Cleria and her family as well.
Issei noticed two new faces, one familiar and…
“…Who is he? And hey, Bennia. What are you doing here?” Issei asked as they were in the special limousine owned by Silver, the one with a spatial distortion field that can expand the space of the interior to house more passengers than the size allows.
“Hello again.” Bennia smiled and waved at Issei. “I’ve… decided to move into Kuoh and enlist as Sona’s Knight to join your group. And this is Loup Garou. He is… well…”
“…I am President Sona’s Rook. Nice to meet you.” The man known as Loup Garou simply said with a nod.
“…Garou?” Issei quirked a brow at the man.
“Yes, my half of the name is the same as the Demon God’s,” Loup Garou admitted.
“He also kind of admires the Demon God.” Bennia added with a wink, earning a rare, adorable stammer from the older man.
“…Okay. You’ve definitely been busy when I’m not seeing you. Where’d you get him from?” Issei complimented Sona while Loup turned away with embarrassment.
“Rias is nearing completing her set, while I’m still short of one Rook, a Knight, and three Pawns. Of course I have to scout for new members. I happened to spot Loup Garou in the college division.” Sona replied with a matter-of-fact tone.
“College?” Issei blinked as he turned to Loup. “Seriously? You decided to cheat? What makes him so special to be the second guy in your Peerage?”
“I wouldn’t call Scouting older students ‘cheating.’ There is no age limit. And your dog is probably older than any of us.” Sona pointed out. “And to answer your second question… he is half werewolf. And half witch.”
Issei blinked at Loup.
He leaned a little towards him and sniffed.
“…You do smell a bit like a dog.” Issei admitted.
Loup quirked a brow and sniffed back at him.
“And you smell like….” Loup narrowed his eyes in confusion, “It is… new. A few smells I never encountered… wait…”
Loup sniffed the air, turning to Kiyome.
“…You smell dangerous.”
“You too? Is Stjarna really that dangerous?” Kiyome tilted her head.
“Yes. Your smell is purer. Him… There is something Devil-like about you, but it is faint.”
“I suppose Sona didn’t fill you in on the world-breaking truth on the Devils, did she?” Issei turned to Sona.
“I was getting there. I don’t want to overwhelm a fresh recruit the moment he enlists,” Sona explained.
“Alright, I can’t blame you. Welcome to the team, Loup. I’m not calling you Garou for obvious reasons, though,” Issei smiled.
“Two people with the same names can be confusing,” Loup understood with a nod.
“So what can you do? You’re half-witch, so what magic do you have?”
“…Fire magic.”
“What kind of fire magic?”
“…Just fire magic.”
“…Just fire magic? Regular fireball kind of fire magic?”
Loup nodded.
“…That’s it? No grand spells that can warp reality and change the landscape? No special fire magic that can burn magic and dragon scales?”
“The spells you’re asking for are hyper advanced, Issei. Mostly God-Level or Satan-Class magicians can perform such spells that can warp reality can alter the environment. Or special dragons,” Rias reminded.
“…Okay, but after what I’ve seen, simple fire magic ain’t gonna cut my standards unless you’re smart with it.”
The limousine stopped when they arrived at the train station.
“This is your stop.” Silver mentioned.
Everyone then perked up and saw that they had arrived at the train station.
The train station looked normal, mostly to blend with the appearance of modern society. Issei had been here before, brought to the Underworld by Ravel on their first date.
They disembarked with their belongings, though Issei had no suitcase since he had a magical inventory within Boosted Gear.
Actually, he was forced to store Rias’ stuff… and Akeno’s. Koneko’s as well.
Wait, they were treating him as their personal luggage boy. Issei sighed as they glanced around – at least the others beside the three mentioned carried their own luggage. Rather, he kind of expected the attitude from Rias and Akeno, but… Koneko too? Was he pampering her too much with the head-patting and lap-sitting?
Thoughts for later.
They purchased the tickets and boarded the train to the Underworld, a normal train. Thinking about Saitama’s and Millicas’ story, it did look like a normal train appearance wise if one didn’t bother to check the vehicle for any magical signatures.
When they stepped inside the car, members of the Vali team looked around, taking in the interior.
“So this is the train to the Underworld, huh? First time in one.” Bikou remarked.
“Didn’t you and Kuroka sneak into the Underworld party to steal food before?” Issei pointed out.
“The key word is ‘sneak’, Ise-chin.” Kuroka retorted with a knowing smile.
“Ah. Alright, fair. So, how does one apply for the rating games?” Issei then changed the topic.
“The new system after the Peace Treaty has yet to be concluded, but we’ve finished the ground work.” Rias explained, “First things first – while you are not a devil, you still need to register yourself as a ‘King’, and register the name of your pieces; ‘queen’, ‘rooks’, ‘knights’, ‘bishops’, etc.”
“…And considering this will be implemented for other races, the process to officiate your peerage will take a while.” Sona added.
“Dad, can you speed things up with your fists?” Issei asked.
“…Can I?” Saitama asked Azazel.
“No, you can’t just punch all your problems away. I swear all of you in the family are a bunch of brutes,” Azazel groaned.
“But ‘devils respect might above all else’ or so they say. I will not go through some bullshit paper wall that is devil politics. Vali, back me up.”
“Why should I?”
“You’re half devil. They’ll paper-wallpaper-wall you too, you know?”
Vali rolled his eyes slowly in contemplation before shrugging, “I’m not a noble, at least in their eyes, so I don’t think I need to worry about doing paperwork any time soon. Besides, I thought you guys are heroes? Never heard of heroes acting like children like you guys.”
Issei grumbled to himself as Saitama smiled at his son acting his age a little.
“Eh, I can wait.” Kiyome shrugged.
They spent their time chatting to pass the time until they entered a dimensional rift.
“By the way… who are you planning on giving your power to? Other than Uncle Genos? Wait, did you actually give your power to Uncle Genos?” Issei asked Saitama as the train sailed across the Underworld skies.
“Yeah?”
Everyone turned to the baldy as if he just grew another head, then they looked at Genos. The cyborg, for some reason, looked just the same as before.
“…Did you mutate?” Vali asked the cyborg in question, wondering why the cyborg did not turn into something else like the seafood creatures.
“…In a way, yes. It is subtle. It happened after the Master transferred power into my core… it is a unique experience.” Genos touched the place where his core was stored, “I believe it will take a while for my body to assimilate the foreign energy and adjust from there. All I can do now is wait and see what happens later.”
They were still surprised to see that Genos kept his shape intact. Issei would have found it hilarious if Genos turned into a pixelated toy or something equally ridiculous.
“As for who else, uh… Michael. He might need it for something.” Saitama shrugged as he looked down the window.
He stared at the ridiculously giant turtle walking below the train, with a mountain range on its back.
In the distance, there were giant worm-like creatures battling against a swarm of Dragons, dragonfire blazing against the shell of the worms.
One of the worms caught a dragon and dragged it underground.
“Err…. Should we help down there?” Saitama pointed down.
Everyone looked out the window.
“…President? Is the Underworld always like this?” Gasper asked, pointing at the monster fight.
There was even a giant slime slithering into the fray, catching a giant worm as it thrashed inside the slime’s body before it melted away into bones and exoskeletons.
“No… no it is not,” Rias stared at the scene with stoic disbelief.
A purple dragon tore through one of the worms, covered in blood and guts as he roared.
“Oh, wait, that’s Tannin down there. And that’s Halrim.” Issei pointed out as Tannin flew like a fiery bullet and pierced through another giant worm.
“Anyway, I just saw one of Tannin’s friends get dragged down there. Gotta hop down there quick.” Saitama then stood up and approached the door.
The train was high in the air – as soon as Saitama opened the door, a gust of air was flowing out of the room. Standing by the edge of the door, the man said, “See ya kids in the city!”
Then he jumped off the train.
While everyone was processing the sight of a man just jumping out of a flying train, Issei jogged towards the still-open door, “Don’t take too long!” before he simply closed the door shut, shutting the vacuum.
Everyone simply sat there, watching Issei returning from the door as if he did not just watch his own father jump off the speeding train, until a loud explosive noise was heard from the distance behind them, followed by another howl.
“…The Underworld looks fun.” Loup commented.
Sona sighed. The heiresses could not help but wonder how the Underworld would evolve as time went on. They could hear the turtle ‘Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh’ing even from the skies. It sounded happy for some reason.
“…It wasn’t always like this.”
To be Continued…
Omake/Extra – A Quirky Date: Episode 6 – Irina Shidou
During Irina’s turn to date Issei, the girl went for something much more casual compared to the others before.
…Or maybe not, considering the distance – she invited him over to her house in London; a simple two-story suburban house that Issei described as ‘homely’ and ‘welcoming’. The type of house where you just wanted to build a small happy family without care about the world outside.
They spent the day exploring the city – window shopping, lunch, snacks and grocery shopping, and they would end the day in the girl’s home before they would take the next flight home tomorrow afternoon.
Issei suggested teleportation but Irina would not have it, wanting it to be special. He still could not understand why almost everyone was against teleportation to his chagrin.
They had a little serious talk on the matter of her religion, but Issei convinced her to place her faith in Michael at least since Heaven was genuinely trying to do good… though it would be a hard road. Issei swore that he would support her no matter what to the girl’s joy.
On that note – prior the date, Irina had informed that both of her parents would be away until the time they had to leave; which left a little of Issei’s imagination of what they would do by the night fell.
He actually looked forward to it.
They had fun during the evening – exchanging banters and laughs as they cooked – they even had a helluva fun food fight, and had their dinner together; just a young couple having a simple quality time; no kids harassing him for martial-arts lesson, no auction and rare goods to be purchased, no mating-season striking, no drunkards interrupting, no waste-of-life vengeful spirit trying to cuck him.
Issei and Irina were currently snuggling together on a couch of the living room – warm chocolate drink in each hand. The former was clad in a simple tee and sweatpants, while the latter was in an over-sized tee that left one of her shoulders bare with a pair of shorts.
They giggled and laughed as they watched the movie ‘Year One’.
“How did the producers get away with this?” Irina asked with an amused incredulity, “This movie literally mocks the Old Testament!”
“It’s called parody, Iri; and I’m actually finding this funny to watch,” Issei replied, as he and his girlfriend watched the parodied scene of Abraham almost sacrificing Isaac from the Old Testament.
Irina gasped dramatically, put her mug on the table and detached herself from Issei, “Blasphemy! You take it back!” She pointed with a cute, pouty glare.
“What? I mean, seriously, it makes better sense than an all-knowing God telling some random dude to sacrifice his son for the lols,” Issei retorted.
“That is no way to ridicule a biblical moment of our religion!” She puffed her cheeks.
“Well, try to make sense of some of them since, well, sacrificial magic is never a thing, then. Even if it is, your God doesn’t even need it, does he?” Issei dared with a smile after he sipped his mug and placed it next to Irina’s.
The girl growled slightly before pouncing at him, “Make sense of this, then!”
“Whoa!”
Issei barked a laugh as he and Irina wrestled on the couch, trying to overpower and squeeze the life out of each other. Irina was grinning as she proceeded to use her fingers to poke and play with Issei’s ticklish spot, eliciting another laugh from him.
“Why you-!”
Issei was still grinning when he found himself pulling Irina into a searing kiss, which the girl replied automatically with fervor. Soon things heated up and their clothes were discarded on the floor – Irina was down only to her underwear on the soft cushion while Issei was fully naked above her.
Irina and Issei stared into each other’s eyes with the former biting her lower lip seductively, running her hands across Issei’s muscular torso. She could feel herself was wet when her eyes landed on the erection standing before her crotch.
Issei smirked as he slowly leaned down while his hands pulled Irina’s panties off, closing the distance between their sex, and when their lips just touched each other again, however – the sound of the door opened, followed by a familiar voice.
“Iri, dear? Are you home? I saw your shoes here, and are you bringing someone with you?”
That snapped them out of their current mood.
“Shit…!” Issei cursed under his breath as he and Irina scrambled around to pick their clothes up, as the sound of footsteps closing in fast, since the distance between the front entrance and the living room was not far to begin with.
“Darn, it just won’t get on!”
Irina hopped on one foot, unable to pull her panties back up. Soon she simply discarded the panties altogether and went for her shorts, which were more easy to put on.
They just finished sliding their top down themselves when a pair of adults came into view – one of them was Touji, and the other was Irina’s mother.
“…Iri?” the mother asked, not expecting her daughter’s presence.
“Ise?” Touji himself was more confused about what the young man was doing with his daughter.
“Hello, uncle, auntie.” Issei greeted with a stiff smile.
The man of the house then saw them by the sofa, both of them standing rigid like stiff venison. Touji looked around – seeing a movie, a crumpled sofa, the young couple’s rather disheveled appearance and…
He narrowed his eyes when he saw a hickey on Issei’s neck. However, the matriarch was the first to voice her thoughts.
“Oh my, did we come at a bad time?” Mirana Shidou cooed with her hand concealing a knowing smile, her eyes were mischievous.
“No, no.” Issei quickly replied with a shake of his head.
“No, not really.” Irina shook her head and realized how she sounded, “Um, mom, dad? I thought you two won’t be at home until tomorrow.”
Mirana’s smile grew wider, “Well, I’m so sorry, sweetheart – but we ended up concluding our business early. Rather, why didn’t you tell us that you and Ise are coming over? We could have prepared a small feast!”
Issei blinked before he turned to Irina, “…Wait, Irina, you didn’t tell them I was coming over?”
“Err…. Oops?” Irina smiled awkwardly.
Touji started walking around the living room, almost like a panther stalking new venison in the woods. When he was behind the sofa, he caught sight of thin fabric.
“…Issei. Were you… doing the thing all teenagers do behind my back?” Touji asked, his eyes glued to the one thing that Irina would not discard unless…
Irina’s eyes widened as if she was a cat holding a canary, before her face went beet red; with Issei not faring much better. The boy glanced at Irina’s mother, whose face lit up as if her birthday had come early.
Seeing that he was on his own with Irina covering her face in embarrassment, Issei took a deep breath, “Um, uncle Touji, sir? I, err…. Have not been truthful to you about something.”
Touji lowered his daughter’s panties, as he simply regarded Issei with a calm expression.
Issei rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at both Irina and her mother who were looking at him expectantly, before he addressed the patriarch, “Um, the truth is… On the night before you arrived at my house after the Kokabiel incident…. Irina and I have… Um…”
His hand slowly reached out, and thankfully, Irina caught on – she steeled her expression and clasped his hand with her own, as the couple faced both Mr. and Mrs. Shidou.
“…We’ve done it.”
Touji stared at them while Mrs. Shidou was beaming with tears of joy.
“…Eh?”
“…Yeah, we… kind of did the thing together.” Issei repeated.
“No, you didn’t. I… Kind of forced it on him, daddy.” Irina stepped in, wanting to defend her boyfriend.
“She was in a bad place, I could’ve done better myself, so… Yeah.” Issei retorted, not wanting his girlfriend to take the blame.
Touji looked petrified, turned to stone by Medusa’s gaze. Or turned into a metal statue Big Bad style.
“…I see… I see…” Touji nodded as he walked towards Issei.
He placed his hands on Issei’s shoulders and squeezed.
“You finally crossed the line with my daughter… I am… you have my blessings, young man.”
Touji’s actions did not match his words as his fingers were digging into Issei’s shoulders hard.
“Yes, yes, I am glad. I mean, I wanted this to happen. It’s not like I’m not upset that you did it without telling me beforehand. It’s not like I wanted to celebrate this occasion together with our families, hahahahahaha…. Or that I didn’t want the time to prepare myself… right?”
“Err…” Issei sweat-dropped – while Touji’s grip on him did not bother him much, but the whole atmosphere was just AWKWARD.
“Thank you, sir….?”
“Ahahahaha, I should be thanking you for helping my Iri. Yes, I should… hah.” Touji exhaled as his grip loosened. “…But I heard from the birds that you might be dating other girls… I didn’t hear wrong, right?”
His grip on his shoulders tightened with a vengeance.
“Erk… maybe?”
Touji’s eyes was closed, but his aura was radiating his murderous intent.
However, Issei was suddenly snatched away as both he and Irina were pulled into a tight hug by tear-stricken Mirana.
“Oh, I’m so happy for you both! You two make a great couple!” Mirana gushed before she planted a quick, but deep kiss on Issei and Irina’s cheek.
The tense atmosphere was defused immediately, as the woman grabbed Issei’s shoulders, “I know my baby girl can be a handful sometimes, but I have the utmost faith that you’ll have things under control. Haruka’s been speaking highly of you, after all.”
Issei was slightly caught off-guard, but he nodded nonetheless, “Y-yes, ma’am. I’ll make Irina happy. I promise you.” He sent a smile at Irina, who returned the gesture in earnest.
Seeing his wife’s reaction calmed Touji further somewhat. He sighed and he turned to Issei, seeing the boy sweating awkwardly at his gaze.
“…You are a lucky man, my boy.” Touji relaxed himself as he released Issei. “But I will not forgive you if you hurt my little girl, do you understand? I mean… even if your dad is the strongest man, that won’t stop me from starting the apocalypse.”
Issei nodded rapidly at Touji’s insinuation.
“Good, good… would you like to stay for supper? You owe us a celebration, after all, in the name of the Lord.”
“That sounds divine! I’ll see what I can cook up in the kitchen. Dear, would you be so kind as to set up the table?” Mirana clapped her hands, prompting Touji to nod at his wife, but not before sending Issei one last look and one kind smile to Irina, as he left the living room.
“You kids clean yourselves up, and Irina.” Mirana gave her daughter a knowing look, “Next time, just hide your panties in your pocket or at least behind your back.” She winked and giggled when Irina coughed out in embarrassment, before she left to the kitchen.
Now alone again in the living room – Issei and Irina finally relaxed.
“Welp… that happened.” Issei remarked.
“I’m so sorry about tonight.” Irina said while holding Issei’s arm.
“Nah, don’t sweat it… Everything worked out in the end.” Issei replied with a reassuring smile.
“True…” Irina nodded with a knowing smile. “You know, let’s see if we can convince my parents to allow us to share a room together so we can finish the movie…. This ‘B’ needs a hot ‘C in her ‘A’~” She finished while running her finger across Issei’s toned chest.
“…Oh my god.” Issei replied while looking taken aback, although he found himself smiling in anticipation.
Irina blinked in confusion, “Um… This babe needs a hot chocolate in her arms? I can use another mug of them.”
Issei shrugged in relief, “Oh… I thought you meant, this b**ch needs a hot c**k in her as*.”
“Oh my god!” It was Irina’s turn to look perplexed this time.
“Oof, by the dead god… Yeah, I kind of expected it deep down honestly.” Issei chuckled, “Right, let’s clean up and I’ll see if I can find more hot chocolates.”
She puffed her cheeks in return but smiled a second later.
Translation:
*It is an honor to meet a shield-maiden of Asgard.
**Ah, the Red Dragon Emperor, correct? I didn’t expect you to speak my native tongue, to be honest.
***I’ve been hammered in Norse language class since I was little, so I might as well put it to use… How do I sound?
****Hm, you speak well for a first-timer, but a tad too formal if I do say so myself. It’s not like I’m your superior or anything.
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