One Step Forward to the Flower Path - Chapter 10

Ivanna looked down at her hand. The new and stiff bandages prevented her fingers from moving properly. Eve, who treated the child, told her to endure the inconvenience. But since she is not around, Ivanna just took off the bandages. She didn’t feel hurt.

The small, stiff fingers were scarred. There were some cuts from the glass, but many traces of having been beaten still remained.  The wounds that were painful at first were now nothing.  Compared to the pain of being thrown on the altar every day, her current wounds were nothing.

‘Eve said it was wrong.’

“Everyone said I was bad.”

All the people who took away her powers and hurt her said that they did it because she was a bad child. They told her that God only sends power to bad children, and because they’re bad children, they have to get sick every day.

‘I was told that it was my destiny.’

“Nobody here says I’m bad.”

They don’t take away my powers, don’t hurt me, and don’t swear at me. They gave me a warm place to sleep in, gave me delicious meals, treated me, and played with me.

‘And he said this power is mine.’

Ivanna looked around and confirmed once more that no one was there. She then spread her palms full of bruises and scars, and whispered quietly,

“Solene.”

There was no response which made her disappointed.  Solene, the great spirit of the sun, was summoned by Ivanna in her first life.  Ivanna was 14 years old when she first summoned Solene.  Although all she could do was keep Ivanna’s cold body warm, she still loved Solene.

Solene was the only one that stayed by Ivanna’s side and consoled her. She was her only friend. Even though Ivanna was only able to be with her for two years before her death, Ivanna had a lot of comfort being together with Solene. Because she had her, Ivanna was not alone in her death.

Ivanna really wanted to meet Solene again this time. But maybe because she was only five years old, no matter how much she called, Solene didn’t show up.

“Will I have to wait until I am 14 again?”

I wanted to show everything to Solene. The things that were different from my first life, the room Mom lived in, the Meows that she made, and the people here who don’t harm me.

To Solene, ‘My Power’.

“What is my power?”

People said it was God’s gift for all. It was everyone’s, except mine.

But this is my power. So what sort of things can I do?

“Is it possible to do more with Solene?”

All Solene did in her first life was warm her cold body.  All that her small body could do was emit a dim light. At that time, the warmth and light were very precious, but am I able to do more than that?

“Would it be possible to burn a wood fire like my mom’s holy spirit?”

Mom’s Holy Spirit radiated a much brighter light that was hotter than Solene’s. That burning firewood would warm the whole house.

“I hope Solene can also be that strong.”

Ivanna thought that it would be amazing to warm up the cold house by burning firewood instead of just warming your body up. Ivanna wiggled her fingers. Her cheeks covered under her messy hair were slightly flushed.

“My mom would have said it was great too.”

Ivanna laid down on her floor and closed her eyes tightly. The soft touch of the Meows in her arms felt nice today.

That day, Solene appeared in Ivanna’s dream. Her body was much larger and radiated light more intensely than before. Solene set the pile of firewood in a blaze right before her eyes. Her mom, who stood next to Ivanna, clapped her hands saying that she was amazing. Her mother’s great spirit wasn’t as great as this, and she was very happy. She smiled broadly and told Ivanna that she’s her strong and pretty daughter.

It was a very happy and pleasant dream. Her mother was sweet and dazzling. Ivanna was so happy that she laughed and smiled brightly at her mom.

The world was full of happiness.

✧────── ೋღ🌺ღೋ ──────✧

Dante silently looked at his child in front of him. The day before, she was already sleeping in bed, but today he found her sleeping on the floor again.

‘Was the bed uncomfortable? Should I change it to something else she wants?’

Dante has had a lot of thoughts for a while but decided to stay quiet for now.  He saw that the lips of the child who was softly breathing were drawn in a pleasant line.

“Her smile, I’ve never seen it before.”

Usually, the only thing he could see was the child’s small lips because her messy hair covered her face.  The small lips from which cruel words were spoken in a sad voice were smiling quietly today.

To Dante, the sight felt very overwhelming.  A smiling child lying in the dark corner of the room where the soft morning sun could not even reach.  It felt like a sanctuary that shouldn’t be touched, so Dante felt like he couldn’t even breathe easily.

‘When I first saw my daughter crouching on the floor, it felt painful and miserable; but now it seems ridiculously peaceful.’

Her little smile had that much power.

“You have a strong life force. Like your mother.”

Louise.

Dante’s eyes sank sadly. Alaine blamed Louise, but he couldn’t. Louise is innocent. She did nothing wrong. She left for the sake of her child.  If anyone was guilty, it was him.

“You must have suffered until the end.”

Louise had no choice but to become strong to protect herself. But the child is different. Compared to her, she is infinitely weak and soft. So Louise would have had to make her decision. It must have been very painful for her to leave her child alone.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise, even though I was supposed to be with you until the end.”

Dante carefully reached out his hand. Very slowly, so that the child would not wake up, he releases all the strength from his hand.  With his left hand that bears his ring, he stroked Ivanna’s hair.

“But as for our child, I will stay by her until the end.”

A cold touch tickled the palms of Dante’s hands. The father, who could only reach his daughter when she was asleep, enjoyed this moment for a long time.

“Louis, please, take a rest.  Now I’ll do it all.  Put everything down and relax until we meet again.” Dante said a short prayer.

“You have suffered enough.”

‘I hope my voice reaches the love of my life in heaven.’

✧────── ೋღ🌺ღೋ ──────✧

When I woke up from a happy dream, I was surprised to see my dad next to me.

“Did you sleep well?”

Ivanna, who was about to retreat, looked down at the sensation of something falling from her shoulders. A warm blanket covered her body.

“You looked cold.”

She looked at him with her mouth open. Ivanna gently rubbed the small blanket. She thought in the dream she was warm because Solene burned the firewood, but she still felt warm even after waking up.  The cozy blanket was good.

‘Was it because my Dad covered me with the blanket?’

Ivanna looked at Dante again. At the same time, the mysterious cat’s eyes always looked at her affectionately.

Ivanna nodded gently.

“Yes.”

Dante opened his eyes widely at her reply. It was a clumsy but clear answer. His heart tickled.

“Are you hungry?”

Ivanna only nodded her head this time. Dante brought in the tray of meals that Alaine brought to him before Ivanna woke up.  Again, today, the tray is full of strawberries. Ivanna rubbed her mouth and reached out her hand.

Dante, who saw her hands, frowned.

“Ivanna, did you take off the bandage?”

Ivanna flinched and moved her hands back in surprise. As if out of habit, Ivanna was about to lay her face down to bow and beg, but Dante quickly spoke,

“Your hand, doesn’t it hurt?”

“······It doesn’t hurt.”

“So you took off the bandage?”

“Sorry······.”

“Ivanna.  If you don’t want to wear bandages, you can say no.”

The child who had her head down slowly lifted it up.

‘Dad didn’t look angry.’

“I am not angry. Everyone has things that they don’t like. Ivanna, it’s okay.”

‘It’s natural to say that you don’t like what you don’t like? If I said I didn’t like it, I was beaten, but Dad said it was natural to have things I didn’t like.’

It was strange and confusing for Ivanna to hear her dad say things so differently than what people have always told her. Ivanna tilted her head to the side.

‘That said, my dad, who still doesn’t beat me, was better than those bullies who did.’

Ivanna looked up again.

“Just, because it’s uncomfortable······.”

“Yes, it was uncomfortable for you. Dad knows well now.”

What I don’t understand is why my dad doesn’t treat me the same way. There was no one like that. Dad, is he different?

‘Dad wasn’t completely different. He’s just like my mom. And he was like himself too.’

“But if you don’t wear a bandage, the wound will heal slowly. It could hurt more.”

“I’m not in pain. It doesn’t hurt. It hurts more to pull out my power.”

“This wound hurts too. Ivanna, all wounds are painful.”

Dante reached out his hand. Ivanna reflexively glared at his hand, but as she saw a pretty ring on his thick finger she relaxed her eyes. She didn’t even run away. So Dante was able to hold her tiny hand.

“You have a lot of wounds. It all hurts. Ivanna, you’re not okay, and I’m not okay with this, too.”

Dante held her hand and willingly bowed his head before his daughter. Ivanna was surprised by the black hair that got close in an instant, but she couldn’t step back because he was holding her hand. The next thing she felt was a soft touch on her finger. Ivanna opened her mouth.

“You say it doesn’t hurt, but it does. You just don’t realize it because you’ve gotten used to it and you’ve felt something even more painful.”

Her dad told her this as he kissed her fingers carefully. The tickling sensation made her fingers twitch. Still, he didn’t stop kissing them. It felt nice.

“Then should the wound hurt? I don’t like being hurt. I don’t want to suffer anymore.”

“I will take Ivanna’s pain. I will always be with you so that you won’t feel alone anymore. Your wounds and pain will surely disappear, and if you share it with someone, it will disappear faster.”

His lips kissed each wound. Ivanna thought that it was strange. It didn’t hurt at all, but just now it suddenly tickled. It was an itchy and tingling feeling.

“So, I will always share the pain of Ivanna’s wounds. Don’t be lonely, don’t suffer. I’ll be with you.”

He looked up at her. His eyes, which were exactly the same as the Meows, were right in front of her. His eyes were as firm as that of a wild cat as he soothed her.

Ivanna reached out her other hand without realizing it.  Her fingertips touched her dad’s face.

“Together? Are you going to stay?”

“I’ll be with you. As long as Ivanna wants me to.”

Dante kissed her other hand, too. No matter how many times her fingers twitched, he wouldn’t stop kissing them. The more his soft lips touched her wounds, the more it stung.  But it was also quick to disappear. Like he’s really getting rid of it.

The pain and suffering were all gone.

‘Like I’ll never feel it again.’