Owned? - Chapter 47：How can I give you something that I can’t even give to myself

The party was a typical classy party for the rich. Everything is flashy and shining. The guests are smiling and chattering with champagne glasses in their hands. There’s tons of food on the tables but it’s mostly untouched.

I’m really not a fan of coming to these parties but since I’ve been skipping so many I had to attend this one, being a part of board of directors that is, I have to show my face around sometimes so that people don’t think I’m dead.

As I finished greeting some people I spotted Veronica. She was talking to his son Lexus and a college friend of his, Diana.

I sighed to myself.

Lex seemed to have gotten better, he’s talking to Veronica more comfortably now.

This is what Veronica wanted, she wanted to get closer to him. I should be happy for her and for Lex but I wasn’t.

I was already disturbed enough. I didn’t want the little things I had to be taken away from me too.

In this moment where I should be giving them space, to allow them to talk more I decided to invade instead.

I walked up to them and Veronica noticed me immediately

“Veronica.” I greeted her back as I stood by them, “Lexus.” I smiled.

“It’s been a while” He said.

“Well of course, You don’t like seeing my face after all.”

“That-” I cut him off.

“Actually, You don’t like seeing the face of anyone involved in that incident. Probably why you don’t like seeing your mother either.” I flashed him a big smile.

Veronica on the other hand turned on her heels and left. Diana too let go of Lex’s arms and decided it was better to leave us. That’s one thing really good about her. She always knows what to do.

“You just can’t keep your mouth shut. Can you?”  Lex gritted his teeth. My purpose was to annoy him and I had succeeded. But, did it make me feel better? Maybe a little bit but it didn’t comfort me nor made me feel happier.

“Sorry. I have this habit of speaking what’s on my mind.” Sometimes I can’t believe how good of a liar I am.

“We had an agreement to never talk about the incident Arius Alucard.” Lex has always hated that part of his life where it all decided  to go wrong for him. Anyone would. That’s the reason I brought it up.

“Ah. Must have slipped my mind.”

“Stop smiling.”

“Why? You wanna punch me?”

“I’m very much tempted to.”

“Why don’t you?”

He turned to leave.

“You don’t ever let out your steam, your own cold calmness messes your head up.” I told him. This time I was only half joking. We have this really weird relationship, like siblings and strangers combined.

As he left, I decided that maybe it was time I left too, so I turned to leave when Veronica called me over. She stood by a dessert table at the rear of the hall.

Of course, I couldn’t decline her, so I walked over to her. “Yes?” I asked as I picked a jamun from the jamun plate on the table and took a bite from it.

“Thank you Arius.” I saw the sparkle in her eyes, “Lex hasn’t talked to me like that in ages. I don’t know what you did but thank you so much.” She seemed very happy. Well, of course, he’s her real son. I won’t ever compare to him.

“No problem.” I finished my sweet, “I just did what I thought could help.” I guess it’s time for me to start preparing for the fact that I won’t be able to call you and have stroke my hair when I’m really stressed. “I should leave.” I excused myself and started walking out.

“Arius.” She called me again and I looked back at her, ” Is something bothering you? You look disturbed?” She held my right hand in both of hers.

I smirked. I guess she can tell that now since I always went to her when I was disturbed about something.

“I-” I was about to speak up but then stopped. It’s time to break the habit, “I just didn’t sleep properly last night.” Of course I can never tell you I actually don’t want to lose you. You were just like a mother to me but now you’re going to get your real son back, “I’m really tired.” I would have loved it if you would run your fingers through my hair one last time. But if I ask for it now, I’ll want it again too. ” I’m just going to sleep.”

She wasn’t really convinced by my words, “Veronica.” I started again, “Take care of your health.” I smiled, a genuine smile, “Good night.” I slipped my hand out of hers and left.

If anything, I could just say that I’m really pathetic. Maybe miserable too.

I smiled and greeted another board member I saw while I walked past him in the corridor.

I don’t know how dad lived this kind of life satisfied. Not just him, all my ancestors. Just how did they find their happiness? How did they find the courage to give this kind of life to their next generations?

Perhaps they were filled with guilt too.

Perhaps they thought things would be different.

Perhaps they all believed in hope.

I sighed. Maybe I should grab a drink.

I made my way to the bar and saw Azalea and Rosalie there, one was perfectly fine while the other was quite drunk.

Azalea tried helping Rosalie up but she refused to do so, “It’s so late but my owner’s a jerk.” I snickered at her words as I made my way to them.

“Don’t worry, so is mine.”  Azalea answered her.

“Am I now?” Hearing my voice from behind made her jolt. She looked back at me in guilt, “You can get back can’t you?” I asked Rosalie.

She nodded  and started wobbling out of the bar.

“Arius?” She whispered, I could tell she wasn’t expecting me here.

“I’m a jerk huh?” I moved closer, “Is that why you slapped me this morning?’

She looked away as she began to think about something,”No,” She said clearly, “I’m sorry.” She apologized about something. Was it the slap she gifted me with in the morning? Whatever it was I didn’t think she’d apologize, she seemed pretty angry in the morning.

She looked into my eyes, “I acted wrong.” As I stared back into hers, I saw her honesty,”I just wanted you for myself.”

Wait!

What did she just say? I wasn’t expecting that.

She wanted me for herself?. I was surprised by her words, “What?” I said in a softer tone. It didn’t really come out as a question, more like it just slipped out as I processed her words.

“I just wanted to have you for myself.” She gulped, “I don’t know when I decided to become selfish, I was so excited for this trip because it was going to be just the two of us but it got ruined the moment Macy came and declared you were the father of her child.”

She sniffled, trying to hold herself back. I could see that she was hurt.

“Azalea. Are you-” I paused for a moment, “Do you like me?” I wanted to confirm  it even though she had already given me an answer.

Her confession made me really happy. I was in glee because these feelings weren’t just from my side.

“I-” She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry. It was not my place.” She assumed that on her own, made an apology and turned to leave.

As she began to walk away my hands moved on their own to stop her. Yet as they millimeters away from her, I stopped.

My own happiness started to fade away as I realized where I myself stood.

What possibly could I give her? I don’t even plan to have a family. I’m surrounded by enemies. Where will I bring the happiness from?

How can I give her something, I couldn’t even give to myself?

Eventually my hands receded back to my side and I silently watched her walk away.