Peace Maker - Chapter 234

He had to admit it, he had run away.

Boris quickly walked down the hallway, his heart pounding hard in his chest as he made his way to his room. A place he hadn’t slept in for months. He turned his head momentarily, eyes glancing down the hallway for a second before continuing as a slower stride.

‘How brave of you,’ he thought to himself in a heavily mocking tone as he let out a long sigh.

It had only been a few minutes since he ran away from Dominic’s office.

They had had a brief discussion, himself, Kalmin, and the prince, and as soon as Kalmin stood up to leave, Boris had waltzed his way to the door with him and slicked away like a little weasel. He had looked back once at Dominic, his last eye-catching glimpse of the prince before he disappeared behind the door. Confusion and amusement had been smeared across his light-skinned face.

Boris mentally slapped himself. ‘Even he was making fun of me for running away like that,’ he thought to himself as he turned around the corner of the hallway. ‘I’m such an idiot. He may have been expecting me to stay behind or something but instead, like I always do, I walk away from confrontation or cover with anger and lashing out.’

He abruptly stopped his steps and retracted backward for a few seconds before stopping in front of a door. The door to his room, a door he almost just walked past as he was deep into his thoughts.

Boris stood in front of the door, examining it for a second. It looked foreign to him. The door frame, the doorknob, the height, the width, and its presence. Everything about it was different and… off. Everything about it wasn’t familiar, far different from the large, tall double doors that led into the prince’s office.

He paused momentarily and glanced back in the direction of the office. ‘Should I-‘ the thought is cut off immediately as a vision flashed through his eyes. Instantly he pulled open the door to his room and rushed inside, slamming the door behind him. Once inside, he stood silently for a second, catching his wavering breath as he opened his eyes to his room, taking in all the new furniture, taking in the scent in the air, taking in the aura, and trying to forget the image in his mind.

It was Dominic, a golden figure that had once haunted his daily life as a mere shadow, standing vividly in his mind, his emerald eyes shining through strands of gold. Soft silver light from the moon illuminated him, like casting a spotlight onto the star of the show. In this case, the star of the night, at least in Boris’ eyes.

His white tonic flowed angelically and his light skin glowed brightly under the moon’s touch.

Boris sucked in a deep breath, his attempt to make the vision simmer away failing immediately. He closed his eyes and leaned against the door. There was just something in those emerald eyes, something about that face, that voice, that being himself, that upset his stomach and heart in a way. A continuous, vicious way, tying his mind to them like he was under some kind of drug in which he could only see one thing. Dominic.

His heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of the name in his mind.

“What is wrong with me…” he muttered weakly as he trudged over to the rough make-out of what he saw to be a bed and flopped onto its covers limply.

On the bed, he opened his eyes to near-complete darkness, the room only lit up by the light flowing in from the window, and simply stared up at the ceiling.

The image he had last seen of Dominic flashed through his mind again and his mind throbbed. Yes, he had run away from his problems at the exact time that he found an exit but… did he even have a choice?

‘What happened??’ he pondered as he turned onto his side on his bed. ‘What in the world happened back there??!’

The images flooded back into his head again. Images that were accompanied by feelings of passion, impatience, and intense heat that washed over Boris again.

He couldn’t get it out of his head. Dominic. The way he had laid below him helplessly, like his body was completely at Boris’ expense, the flare in his eyes whenever they made eye contact like he was silently asking for more, pushing Boris to continue.

The way his hair had laid messily on his forehead, the way his arms had wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, the way his body trembled from every kiss and touch, the flushed shade of pink against his smooth light skin. The arch of his back, his body frame, the feeling of their bodies brushing against each other…the steaming heat he was engulfed in… the gasps of air that left his beautiful lips every time he would shiver… his voice calling out his nam-

Boris shuddered, folding into a fetal position as he suppressed the feeling that rushed over him, trying to calm down his own body.

His heart pounded heavily in their cages as he tried to stifle the wave of impatience that surrounded his mind. Like that, he remained for a few minutes before shifting out of fetal position and laying on his back, his eyes piercing into the darkness around him.

His lips still felt hot.

‘What… is this?’ Boris thought to himself, his mind trying to calmly evaluate the situation that laid heavily over his shoulders. ‘What-‘

‘Admiration,’

Adia’s voice slid into his thought process. ‘You constantly think about him when he’s not present and when he was… you agreed with him?’ she had stated, ‘This might be because you came into some kind of internal verdict that he was someone that you were supposed to stand beside. That he was worth looking up to and caring about.’

He wondered about her words, trying to find refuge and understanding in them.

‘I admire Dominic. This means I hold him to a higher standard than before and think that he’s worth tolerating,’ he mused, ‘this also means I can get a bit jealous if he is found in a situation with someone else that’s closely related to him because I’m jealous that I can’t be that person?’

The conclusion lingered in his mind for long as a plausible explanation. ‘Yea… that makes a bit of sense. Because I admire him, I get strong feelings of feeling like I need to be on his side and-‘ his voice cut off as another vision of Dominic below him entered his mind.

‘Boris…’ Dominic had whispered in a breathy voice, causing a shudder to run down Boris’ spine.

‘And causing me to feel some jealous-‘ his thoughts trailed off. That wasn’t what it was. Admiration wasn’t what he had felt.

Admiration was a feeling of looking up to someone. Looking up to that person with a sort of glorified lens and wanting, even if slightly, to be more like that person. Admiration would be Boris looking up to Dominic and wanting to be more like him in any way possible even if it was a little bit.

But he had never wanted to be like Dominic.

He had never looked at Dominic’s crown, or looked at his attitude and thought of it as something he wanted to have. He wanted to be beside it, protect it, and have the glow that Dominic had to continue to glow. At some point, he started to want to hold it.

Admiration was not what he had been feeling towards Dominic. It didn’t explain the way he wanted to hold Dominic in his arms, skin to skin, or the way his lips yearned to leave trails all over his body, or the intense feeling of impatience he feels. The need for more, the need to push boundaries. That wasn’t admiration…

Boris sat up on the bed, his eyes gazing at the door of his room. ‘If he were to walk in here at this moment,’ he pondered, ‘if he were to waltz into this room in his light white tonic, golden presence and all, what would I do?’ His head tilted slightly as he reflected on the thought. ‘What would I want to do to him?’

The answer came in disturbingly quickly, acting out in his eyes. He would grab those small wrists of the prince and pull him to the side, pressing him against the wall, his lips brushing against Dominic’s neck while his other hand would travel up the shirt of that white tonic. Fueled by the shudders of Dominic, he would continue, his lips finally raising up to Dominic’s face and after releasing the air that he wouldn’t be aware he was holding, he would descend upon those blossom pink lips, pressing into them selfishly.

An attack.

He was going to attack Dominic.

Boris flinched as the thoughts came into his mind. Images of his hand running over Dominic’s soft skin, his tongue ravishing his tast- Immediately, he pushed away the thoughts as he felt a certain area of his body grow hotter. It was confirmation of his question.

This wasn’t admiration, this wasn’t just wanting to protect him, it was wanting to be able to monopolize him. To have Dominic below him, quivering as he called out Boris’ name with a shaky, breathy voice. To have his arm tighten around his neck again and to feel the arch of his back.

It was clear what it was, even to Boris himself who wanted to believe firmly that it wasn’t. He was yearning for Dominic’s lips.. That wasn’t admiration, it was sexual desire.